Chris' thought process -

[An Ounce of Vagina]

What has always interested me about Chris is his illogical thought process. My favorite: Trolls are making fun of me. I will tell them I shit my pants and that will make them stop. It just makes him seem so out of touch with the rest of humanity, almost like he's an alien crash-landed on Earth.

Anyone else have a favorite example of Chris' bizzare mind?

 

[StressSigh]

"If I charge $20 for an autographed photo or commission, all my money problems will be solved and I can buy as much Lego as I want"

 

[Someone in a Tree]

Easily his belief that his crude marker drawings will prove his heterosexuality. Honorable mention goes to his 9/11 apology video.

 

[Chuggernaut]

I'm gonna go with "begging a woman for sex because hookers ARE EXPENSIVE."

 

[Coldgrip]

 

[Pikonic]

I'm gonna go with "begging a woman for sex because hookers ARE EXPENSIVE."

I'm gonna go with, "Freak out a platonic friend over a sex drawing, better explain what sex is."

 

[NavierStoked]

Can't get a sweetheart from the ground-up, so I'm going to become the sweetheart that I always desired.

 

[generalmeldor]

Easily his belief that his crude marker drawings will prove his heterosexuality. Honorable mention goes to his 9/11 apology video.

Which still managed to be fucked up and continued to show how much of an out-of-touch ass that he is. Though how much of his behavior is based on his mental state or the environment he grew up in?

 

[Someone in a Tree]

After reading the Lulzy Chandler pics thread and seeing Chris's frightening new OKCupid selfies, I've changed my kind. How can a make take a picture of themselves in a bathroom, wearing a sports bra, post it on a dating site, and expect choice pussy to roll its way to the rental house. If I knew the answer, I probably wouldn't be here.

 

[MerriedxReldnahc]

Wait, Chris has thought process?

 

[CatParty]

"If I draw crude pornography of my best friend, I will lose desire to rape her"

 

[Someone in a Tree]

"If I draw crude pornography of my best friend, I will lose desire to rape her"

"I bet if I explain it to her using almost those exact words, she'd understand."

 

[Pikonic]

STATEMENT A:
"Straight men are bad because they take all the girls away."

NORMAL ASSUMPTION BASED ON STATEMENT A
"I like gay men because they don't take all the girls away, however I don't like lesbians because they do.

CHRIS LOGIC
"I like lesbians but hate gay men."

 

[BillRiley]

For me, Chris's vast ignorance of biology eclipses even his fabled inability to anticipate the thought processes of others. Per example, talking about his recent road trip to Ohio:

Bob: [inaudible] Fort [???] [inaudible] and I'd gone up to New York City every weekend. But, for about nine months, well I knew the place like the back of my hand.
Emily: Mm-hmm.
Chris: No wonder I was risky enough to take a- I was adventurous enough to take such a trip.
Bob: Uh-
Chris: I'd been hanging around in hi- inside him while he was taking that trip!

Hanging around in his what, Chris? Where exactly did little zygote Chris'tard "hang out" while war-hero / plastic-inventor Daddy-Bob was picking up cheap hookers on 48th street?

 

[OBAMATRON]

almost like he's an alien crash-landed on Earth.

Spoiler

 

[Picklechu]

"Stomping on my dildo with signs taped to my shoes declaring my straightness will undeniably prove that I am straight."

"Sitting with a sign to attract boyfriend-free girls to make into a sweetheart from the ground-up will probably not work. However, there's an infinitesimally small chance that it will work. Therefore, I should sit here with a sign to attract boyfriend-free girls."

 

[Tootsie Bear]

"If I draw crude pornography of my best friend, I will lose desire to rape her"

Chris' sexism and selfishness has always disgusted me. A grown man who acts like a spoiled child.

 

[Anonimo]

"If I give long, drawn out speeches and make a scene in front of a crowd of people, I will earn their favor and prove that I'm in the right and the jerkops are in the wrong!"

 

[asperhes]

"Drawing cartoon characters in an unflattering way hurts their feelings."

 

[Flowers For Sonichu]

Chris' concept of "comedy", especially pertaining to "random access humor" and the fact that most of the lulz he generates is unintentional.