- Joined
- Sep 14, 2021
I prefer the "Barblax" appellation, but that's down to personal preference.
Prison Letters Chris writes letter answering fan's questions (dated Oct 25 2021)
- Thread starter Mumbaicola
- Start date
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The site is having difficulties because our bandwidth is totally overextended. Our 1Gbps line is at 100% even when there aren't 8000 people on the site. We were supposed to get a second Gbps line months ago but I'm struggling to get technicians scheduled to set it up.
- Joined
- Sep 12, 2021
Were the Chandlers ever acquainted with a certain Herbert West?
- Joined
- Sep 14, 2021
Ah, I see you're a man of culture as well. The Re-Animator movie is one of the very few decent HP Lovecraft film adaptations.
- Joined
- Sep 25, 2021
Barblax: the bar skank Pokémon.
In its larval state the Barblax can be found at any low-end local bar. There, she will bide her time refreshing herself with readily available alcohol and scanning nearby patrons for potential hosts. The ideal host is one wealthy enough to sustain her corpulent future of excess but also one desperate enough to look past all her red flags. Once a suitable host is found, the Barblax will begin by lulling its host into blissful safety punctuated with bouts of intense anger. This confuses and terrifies the host and educes an emotional paralysis, allowing the Barblax full control over her host.
After the host is paralyzed the absorption process begins and the Barblax utilizes resources pilfered from the host to feed its massive appetite and various other whims. It's during this time that she inflates to her infamous size. While the host organism is drained until little more than a corpse is left; she may spawn 1-3 offspring during this time. A Barblax may undergo this process multiple times over the course of her life cycle, returning to the larval state after her host is consumed.
RurkerHivemind
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Oct 15, 2020
That is a good question in which I don't want to know the answer to.
The Big Boy
kiwifarms.net
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- Nov 2, 2021
Why would Chris ever address this? It probably makes perfect sense in his mind, but wouldn't make any sense to the rest of us (much like the majority of things Chris believes). We all know he only branded himself a tranny so he could creep on lesbians - he'd probably explain it away as being a new coming of Christ, and this one is a tranny.
Yksi_Toveri
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Oct 5, 2021
I think in his warped mindset, and the ramblings that he is many deities, Jesus was just another female soul trapped with a duck.
Interchanger
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 3, 2021
Either that or the Jesus Godbody doesn't mean he is Jesus Christ, but just has his body and his memories. Sort of like Chris Chan's soul has the Godbody, and Jesus Christs memories are like stored data on the hard drive or something like that. I mean he came up with Random Access Memory or some other autistic bullshit to explain why he forgot things as he tried to type/speak so how he's made sense of it all is anyone's guess.
- Joined
- Sep 28, 2021
Chris has the least godly body on the planet. It's the single best argument for atheism I've ever encountered.
Interchanger
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 3, 2021
Got to be honest I was stunned that he claimed he had Jesus body. I know he constantly things at some point he was skinny, but Jesus wasn't just skinny he was alpha levels ripped. With a great head of hair not some balding greasy mess.
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
He'd have to be to be a carpenter.
- Joined
- Sep 12, 2021
Does working with Crayola FUCKING Model Magic count?
- Joined
- Sep 10, 2021
I'm surprised no one has realised what Barb has written to him yet. The most obvious ploy to try and make the relationship seem consensual so he gets off lighter is to write the most scorching erotic literature featuring her and Chris that will ever be seen. The guard who has to read it will vomit.
- Joined
- Sep 10, 2021
Obviously he gets his body type from also representing Buddha.
Beast From 20000 Faggums
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Sep 9, 2020
Bride of Re-Animator is one of the few decent horror sequels as well haha
GypsyBard
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 6, 2015
Well considering the diet back then and also the fact that carpentry work with hand tools of that. Would require a lot of strength Jesus was ripped.
Turbocuck
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Feb 14, 2021
Ripped Jesus is a later thing. The oldest depictions of him don't show a ripped physique. They also show him with short hair and no beard, the canonical dirty hippie desert wizard image we know today didn't come until the fourth century, and the muscles came way later.
- Joined
- Nov 6, 2014
Pre Victorian times most people would be "wiry" types.
Not enough food for the Arnie look.
Not enough food for the Arnie look.
- Joined
- Oct 4, 2020
He's now a generic I-Am-Jesus tard and this is the most boring shit ever. What a waste. I was hoping for the incest saga to be the great one, the pivotal moment where reality would finally collapse on this pear shaped head of his. Yet here we are, with a tasteless milkless insane hobo, rambling about random bible shit.
He's incredible, in a way. He really does absorb whatever media available to him then proceed to wrap his entire reality around it. Cartoons, movies, fan fics, artworks, the fucking holy bible, anything. No matter the circunstances. A blank sheet of paper constantly rewriting itself. At this point, when he'll finally be homeless, I fully expect him to just fucking craft an entire pantheon around road signs and/or street ads.
He's incredible, in a way. He really does absorb whatever media available to him then proceed to wrap his entire reality around it. Cartoons, movies, fan fics, artworks, the fucking holy bible, anything. No matter the circunstances. A blank sheet of paper constantly rewriting itself. At this point, when he'll finally be homeless, I fully expect him to just fucking craft an entire pantheon around road signs and/or street ads.