Prison Letters Chris writes letter answering fan's questions (dated Oct 25 2021)

Yksi_Toveri

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Oct 5, 2021
Maybe he thinks jail is his new temple and the staff are his, well, staff and the fellow inmates are just stupid infidels who will convert to the true faith before long.
He did call his cell a penthouse but is seemingly aware the jerkops are jerkops. His jailhouse bottle ramen is probably how he sees himself fasting in the desert like Jesus.
 

Ophelia

No trial, no insanity defense
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Aug 12, 2016
Imagine talking to this literal motherfucker when you're in jail for smacking some bitch up, and he tells you he's an alicorn, then explains what that even means because you have no fucking clue what that means, and then tells you he's proud of raping his own mother. Even convicts love their mothers.
We don’t know that Chris actually said that to anyone.
 

Guardsman42

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Aug 28, 2018
Few things to note:

They are not at all required to serve a holiday meal on the holiday. They might, but there is no requirement to speak of to do so.

If he's in a cell on his own, the rec room might be just the room all the cells connect too; with a TV and books you can take back to your cell, and showers off from it. We know Chris has a low aptitude for reading, and much of the material in these rooms is generally provided by Christian ministries, which would explain his doubling down on biblical references.

He is still in Jail. When he hits prison, he'll likely be labeled as either a rat by other inmates, or people will realize he's legit a sped. The real thing comes down to is he going to tell people he raped his mother or not. Rapists tend to die in prison because they're the vilest of the vile criminals, and I can't see any one ever watching Chris' back in the system.
 

Pointless Sperg

Crying Anchuent Cherokian
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Aug 2, 2021
Few things to note:

They are not at all required to serve a holiday meal on the holiday. They might, but there is no requirement to speak of to do so.

If he's in a cell on his own, the rec room might be just the room all the cells connect too; with a TV and books you can take back to your cell, and showers off from it. We know Chris has a low aptitude for reading, and much of the material in these rooms is generally provided by Christian ministries, which would explain his doubling down on biblical references.

He is still in Jail. When he hits prison, he'll likely be labeled as either a rat by other inmates, or people will realize he's legit a sped. The real thing comes down to is he going to tell people he raped his mother or not. Rapists tend to die in prison because they're the vilest of the vile criminals, and I can't see any one ever watching Chris' back in the system.

Thanksgiving and Christmas are generally observed in jails and prisons, sometimes Easter. The food usually improves on these days. Believe it or not, there is an incentive to give inmates something to look forward to. Prison staff just want to make their jobs as easy as possible, and if having some shit holiday meal special makes it easier, they'll do it.

It's the same reason your shit retail job has pizza days or something. It's something cheap they can do to try to entice people to not complain/riot. The only difference is that prisoners can't quit.

Chris is almost certainly going to be in protective custody wherever he is sent. The same place chomos get sent. Unlike chomos, however, he probably won't be as detestable to the staff, so they'll be less likely to make mistakes in letting him into places where he faces potential threats. He's charged with fucking his mom, not raping his mom.
 

Guardsman42

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Joined
Aug 28, 2018
Thanksgiving and Christmas are generally observed in jails and prisons, sometimes Easter. The food usually improves on these days. Believe it or not, there is an incentive to give inmates something to look forward to. Prison staff just want to make their jobs as easy as possible, and if having some shit holiday meal special makes it easier, they'll do it.

It's the same reason your shit retail job has pizza days or something. It's something cheap they can do to try to entice people to not complain/riot. The only difference is that prisoners can't quit.

Chris is almost certainly going to be in protective custody wherever he is sent. The same place chomos get sent. Unlike chomos, however, he probably won't be as detestable to the staff, so they'll be less likely to make mistakes in letting him into places where he faces potential threats. He's charged with fucking his mom, not raping his mom.


Slight power Level:

I sat in jail for a holiday before. I know first hand they don't have to serve the holiday meals. Granted, Chris might not even realize there is a holiday.
 

Pointless Sperg

Crying Anchuent Cherokian
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Aug 2, 2021
Slight power Level:

I sat in jail for a holiday before. I know first hand they don't have to serve the holiday meals. Granted, Chris might not even realize there is a holiday.

Yup they don't *have* to, it's just that many choose to. Prisons more often than jails since they know they'll be dealing with the same people for a longer period of time.
 

AnOminous

when you find a stranger in the Alps
Retired Staff
True & Honest Fan
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Dec 28, 2014
Wait, where did he describe this? This isn't in any of the letters I've read so far.
You might remember I tried to find out where this was from and decided I'd just hallucinated it, but he describes making ramen in a bottle in his recent phone call. So unless that's a weird coincidence, I had to have actually seen that somewhere.
 

Merried Seinor Coomer

The Toxic Minority
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Nov 5, 2021
You might remember I tried to find out where this was from and decided I'd just hallucinated it, but he describes making ramen in a bottle in his recent phone call. So unless that's a weird coincidence, I had to have actually seen that somewhere.
A visit in the astral plane perhaps?