Chris's Merge ramblings from the Watchmen's Discord

[The American Hedgehog]

Chris asked one of the Watchmen to release a bunch of his Merge ramblings from the past few months. Someone posted it to the CWCki. https://sonichu.com/cwcki/The_Journey_to_the_Merge

Chris keeps trying various magical methods to activate the Merge: meditation, frequencies, magic stones, etc. This in particular is one of the goofiest. He describes how he tries to activate it with a ritual that involves singing and dancing in his room to a Sonic the Hedgehog game song.

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

Chris keeps trying various magical methods to activate the Merge: meditation, frequencies, magic stones, etc. This in particular is one of the goofiest. He describes how he tries to activate it with a ritual that involves singing and dancing in his room to a Sonic the Hedgehog game song.

Mild spergery, but I'd just like to point out that pinging @everyone in a Discord server is a dick move and that, if you do decide to ping @everyone, you don't need to tag individual people in.

Yet another way in which Chris fails to understand how the internet works.

 

[Retarded INTP]

I don't know what to do. His bullshit on Twitter or Discord is the biggest waste of time in my life. I'm so sincere about it that I'm basically powerleveling a little. I don't gain anything reading his rants, except confusion, frustration, or downright boredom. But these ARE modern Chris, and sometimes you may find one or two golden nuggets. But fuck, it's like gambling. Even when you win, you lose.

I was talking with the fires that were present in Colorado yesterday

What ? He didn't even talk to some sort of Pokemon or w/e, no no, he directly talked to the fucking rapid oxidation of various materials in the exothermic chemical process of combustion itself.

They need to hear about this importantly as well

At this point he should simply use DeepL or Google Translate to write in his own native language. Go ahead, what's important you sperg ?

Yesterday, the whole day, the reasonances, visions, and events were all really heavy

I don't know I guess he's saying that he shat himself once again while playing Tetris.

Went upstairs about 11:30pm to the ol'bedroom, with the Master Emrald in place in the void between dimensions

That's a weird way to talk about Barb but glad to know she's still semi-alive, reality will not piss in his mouth this week.

I sat there and focused, and the body moved the hands in certain motions

I don't know I guess he's saying that he was touching himself in front of a mirror. That, or he's stealing rituals shit from Sockness.

The body also shook and vibrated a lot

No comment. See previous sentence.

I relocated to sitting on the mirror, and resumed for another 5 minutes, focusing magics and energies on and around the mirror

I'm not sure ejaculating everywhere on his own reflection/a perfectly good mirror summoned from the hoard will help his case.

Then I stood up and relocated myself between the south-west wall of the room and the Master Emrald

Oh no

I activated the Master Emrald with the chant, I had everything set, charged and focused, as I let out the Chaos Control

Oh fuck no.

The alarm sets up and play "Live and Learn"

That's rather funny because he does neither.

Did a little song and dance with it in progression and timing of the remainder of the ritual

Some people light up a cigarette after this kind of shit, but Chris prefers to perform a TF2 Conga Taunt.

We did it everyone

Reading such awful fucking garbage really makes me sad thinking about the little sperg who was happy to win that one Sonic contest.

 

[Tikbalang]

You know what could make the merge easier? Take LSD and DMT at the same time. No rituals, no east-wall crap

 

[dirtydeanna96]

he directly talked to the fucking rapid oxidation of a material in the exothermic chemical process of combustion itself.

Chris is an Animist now. His spiritual beliefs are constantly evolving.

fire has a soul, and Chris can communicate with it, like native American beliefs

 

[Chrus Chundlur]

Chris asked one of the Watchmen to release a bunch of his Merge ramblings from the past few months. Someone posted it to the CWCki. https://sonichu.com/cwcki/The_Journey_to_the_Merge

Doesn't this deserve its own thread?

I like how that shitty character he made for that DC mmorpg who Chris said had written "over a hundred graphic novels" about real-life Chris, now has apparently made two fucking thousand issues. Moron may as well said 2 thousand quadrillion for that matter. Not to mention the absolute hell that would be to fill that much content with Chris' asinine life outside of his online antics and occasional run-ins with the law.

For reference, Amazing Spider-Man was first published on 1963 and nowadays they are on the 850ish issue.

Sonichu comics on the other hand take like 0.5% the effort of the shittiest professionally made comic, and the lazy fuck only managed to shit out like 16 semen stained doodle recopilations since 2004.

our Magi-Chan is working with the Kindness of Chris Chans and the other deities, including Santa Clause

 

[Aldora]

Retards talking to retards, exactly what a Discord is for.

 

[Lobotomized_Chicken]

This is rather nitpicky, but do we know if Chris actually knows the original meaning of "Iron Curtain"? Was this a phrase that the IdeaGuys put into his head, or is he actually comparing the wall between dimensions to the notional barrier separating communist and capitalist countries?

 

[Daisymae]

@everyone in that server should commit suicide

 

[An Ghost]

live and learn do be a banger tho

 

[Second Missing Primarch]

This is a 37-year-old manchild playacting like the bored, unsupervised toddler he is in the middle of a Superfund site masquerading as a house while he spirals ever further toward the inevitable conclusion of his sad, deluded existence. I can't even muster the energy to pity him anymore. This is just depressing.

Autism: Not Even Once.

 

[Shabobus]

Whenever someone would ask Chris why he wasn't drawing comics and he kept saying he was busy with "responsibilities" or "supervising the merge" or whatever, this is what he was talking about. Staring at a wall for a while and then dancing to Sonic music. That's his job as a goddess.

 

[LargeChoonger]

The surrealism of a slightly pretentious but otherwise normal level of literacy and speech patterns combined with batshit insanity gets me every time

 

[Kingfisher9000]

Chris asked one of the Watchmen to release a bunch of his Merge ramblings from the past few months. Someone posted it to the CWCki. https://sonichu.com/cwcki/The_Journey_to_the_Merge

Chris keeps trying various magical methods to activate the Merge: meditation, frequencies, magic stones, etc. This in particular is one of the goofiest. He describes how he tries to activate it with a ritual that involves singing and dancing in his room to a Sonic the Hedgehog game song.

View attachment 1868586

I really like how he says he meditated for nearly twenty minutes and in the same breath admits that he couldn’t even keep his hands still. He ain’t meditating, he’s just stimming.

 

[Pickle Inspector]

Clearly the best way to achieve the merge is for him to write a comic about gathering the Asperchu balls to make a wish.

 

[Chrus Chundlur]

This is rather nitpicky, but do we know if Chris actually knows the original meaning of "Iron Curtain"? Was this a phrase that the IdeaGuys put into his head, or is he actually comparing the wall between dimensions to the notional barrier separating communist and capitalist countries?

If it is not in a cartoon, Chris is not interested/has no fucking clue/can't even understand it.

His own father said he couldn't "grasp the concept of Australia", after all, so it's safe to say sociopolitics most probably are way out of his mongocapacities. His high-school homework about WWII was what a 3-year-old would write about it.

It was probably fed to him or he heard the term somewhere and adopted it without understanding what it was.

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

Sockness should tell Chris that 1/2 the merge activating gemstone is in the tip of his penis while the other half is located deep in Chris's chocolate starfish.

 

[Pickle Inspector]

Sockness should tell Chris that 1/2 the merge activating gemstone is in the tip of his penis while the other half is located deep in Chris's chocolate starfish.

I wouldn't be suprised if it was Sockness's plan was to try and convince Chris sex magic was needed for the merge to happen.

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

I wouldn't be suprised if it was Sockness's plan was to try and convince Chris sex magic was needed for the merge to happen.

Like Allister Crowley

 

[Lord of the Large Pants]

... I still can't figure out how much of this shit he actually BELIEVES.