Chris's Merge ramblings from the Watchmen's Discord

[BigTubboWithLittleChina]

If he believes even half of it, then he really is heading down the Terry Davis route (as I think Null put it at one point). He's detaching more and more from anything real. I still don't think that he'll kill either Barb or himself, but he may just forget to keep feeding her and himself - hey, a goddess can subsist on rainbows and unicorn farts, can't she?

And at least Davis had some genuine brain power and initiative. Chris believes in a particularly cretinous form of Cosmic Ordering, I think. If he wishes hard enough, then the Cosmos will give him everything that he wants. And he can't see why this is not going to happen. Ever.

 

[Optimus Prime]

... I still can't figure out how much of this shit he actually BELIEVES.

This is a severely mentally ill individual who, upon finally producing documentation of him 'traveling' to CWCville, was literally nothing but him closing his eyes and wishing really hard that he was physically on another plane of reality where his delusions exist, all the while babbling incoherently.

The double whammy is that he is so predisposed to trying to avoid the harshness of reality that he psychologically can not do anything but believe this stupidity.

 

[Tikbalang]

I expect the merge will be a natural force like the Conjunction of Spheres in the Witcher series. Turns out it requires silly rituals to makr it happen. Why didn't he just do it early on?

This is a severely mentally ill individual who, upon finally producing documentation of him 'traveling' to CWCville, was literally nothing but him closing his eyes and wishing really hard that he was physically on another plane of reality where his delusions exist, all the while babbling incoherently.

The double whammy is that he is so predisposed to trying to avoid the harshness of reality that he psychologically can not do anything but believe this stupidity.

His wish might come true once he dies.
I said might because we don't truly know what comes after.

 

[A Grey Cat]

I expect the merge will be a natural force like the Conjunction of Spheres in the Witcher series. Turns out it requires silly rituals to makr it happen. Why didn't he just do it early on?

His wish might come true once he dies.
I said might because we don't truly know what comes after.

"Depart from me ye cursed into everlasting fire! Prepared for the devil and his angels!"

Chris: but...but I was so certian about the merge! Why is this happening to me?!


I've often wondered if the christians are right and Chris is at risk of burning in hell for heresy can his autism/insanity be something of a get out of hell free card?

 

[Chrus Chundlur]

I said might because we don't truly know what comes after.

Guy dies, his immortal soul goes to CWCville in the afterlife:

"Shit, I shouldn't have done all that baby rape when I was alive"

 

[The Dude]

Obviously Chris needs to stick another Sonichu medallion up his ass along with his amnyfist high school class ring. You know, to focus his phsyic energy and realign his chakras and shit.

 

[Lord of the Large Pants]

"Depart from me ye cursed into everlasting fire! Prepared for the devil and his angels!"

Chris: but...but I was so certian about the merge! Why is this happening to me?!


I've often wondered if the christians are right and Chris is at risk of burning in hell for heresy can his autism/insanity be something of a get out of hell free card?

I think it's less that, and more that Chris would show up at the throne of God and wonder why someone besides him is sitting in it.

Chris: Hm, yeah, I'll need you to get out of my chair, among which.
God: ... a'ight I'ma have to ask you to leave.

 

[judge claude frollo]

imagine if this was recorded

 

[A Grey Cat]

imagine if this was recorded

It'd be what flying elephants was only somehow even more demented and autistic

 

[Hogar Grupal]

He actually started chanting and dancing like one would see those tribes people depicted in cartoons.
Give this boy a gold star for consistancy.

I think it's less that, and more that Chris would show up at the throne of God and wonder why someone besides him is sitting in it.

Chris: Hm, yeah, I'll need you to get out of my chair, among which.
God: ... a'ight I'ma have to ask you to leave.

It's like PVCC, but this time, it's biblical.

 

[A Grey Cat]

He actually started chanting and dancing like one would see those tribes people depicted in cartoons.
Give this boy a gold star for consistancy.

Makes me wonder how barb feels. It was bad enough in the heyday when he was tard raging in front of his webcam to demand people take the reuploads of the house tour off THE INTERNET!....buti wonder what goes through her head as she stands in the doorway watching Chris jump around to old sonic music or chant like a retarded witch doctor

 

[Hogar Grupal]

Makes me wonder how barb feels. It was bad enough in the heyday when he was tard raging in front of his webcam to demand people take the reuploads of the house tour off THE INTERNET!....buti wonder what goes through her head as she stands in the doorway watching Chris jump around to old sonic music or chant like a retarded witch doctor

I think she thinks the way the farms do: "what will my son do once I die?" I mean she did roast Chris about the finances on a livestream. At this point the shame that Bob may have felt at the end of his life has dissipated, and Barb just got used to it.

 

[Naamaleipuri]

imagine if this was recorded

Something like these, but more miserable as midway to the second chorus of live and learn, Sonichu starts breaking down and yelling for Mama Chris-Chan to liberate him from this current greasy mortal coil

 

[Alpha Kennybody]

This is rather nitpicky, but do we know if Chris actually knows the original meaning of "Iron Curtain"? Was this a phrase that the IdeaGuys put into his head, or is he actually comparing the wall between dimensions to the notional barrier separating communist and capitalist countries?

To Chris it'll be the most basic concept. A curtain made of iron. Something you can't see through or pass. Yet to Christorians, it should be a metaphrase, for all the failed white knights, and heroes who tried to pierce the veil into Christian's mind, and improve his life. Those who wanted him to get a job, lose weight, clean his act up, and expand his horizons. Christian's trying to reach Cwcville, but he doesn't realise he's already there: a world where there's no consequences, no worries, and you're always the hero. But where we failed, now reality, barb's health, the mortgage, and even Christian's own health and age will start to knock, and to them, an iron curtain is tissue paper.

live and learn do be a banger tho

Chris not attending the Sonic 25th Anniversary was the biggest culture loss we never got to experience.

*****

So as I read through this I try to imagine what's going through Christian's head. Does he really think it will work? I'd like to assume, no. Then again, didn't he once go to a gamestop because he was told Magichan was there? Didn't he piss in the corner of his room and slap Barb to stop the Cwcville people from being killed by a SAO character? So he sets up this elaborate ritual, hopes, prays, does everything his mind can do to make some ritual occur... and then nothing. He opens his eyes, and he's in the same cluttered room, smelling of cat shit, with so much clutter it's a miracle he can move from the south east corner of the room to elsewhere.

So what happens? He's too proud to say he failed, and too stupid to know this could never work in the first place. So yes, this is the next component of the next phase of the next scheme of the next plan, all leading to the elusive merge. I hope, genuinely, when Christian dies someday, be it today, tomorrow, or 50 years from now, safe in a warm bed somewhere, he sees Sonichu, Magichan, and Mewtwo, and Barb and Bob, and Bundychu all there in a golden light, take him somewhere soft and warm and quiet. Maybe the final blow can be a gentle mercy for a fool too stupid and lazy and to narcissistic be rehabilitated.

 

[Yamcha's Only Fan]

I'm ready for this phase of chris's life to be over. the merge arc is fucking stupid.

 

[shadhardblogger19]

Chris is an Animist now. His spiritual beliefs are constantly evolving.

I thought his religion was sci-fi (atheism) mixed in with the Hyperdimension Neptunia lore and New Age stuff.

 

[Yamcha's Only Fan]

I thought his religion was sci-fi (atheism) mixed in with the Hyperdimension Neptunia lore and New Age stuff.

his religion is whatever suits his immediate needs. If being muslim benefited him for a week we'd see chris cut a hole in his bed sheet and wear it while butchering the arab language.

 

[Tikbalang]

his religion is whatever suits his immediate needs. If being muslim benefited him for a week we'd see chris cut a hole in his bed sheet and wear it while butchering the arab language.

I don't think he'll last being a muslim for a day after learning he can't eat bacon and do five prayers to Saudi everyday.

I'm ready for this phase of chris's life to be over. the merge arc is fucking stupid.

I don't know how he'll give up the merge. Unless it bores him or he finds a better alternative like Doopie and SNT becomes his wives or something, it'll stick in his head until Barb dies.

 

[Alpha Kennybody]

his religion is whatever suits his immediate needs. If being muslim benefited him for a week we'd see chris cut a hole in his bed sheet and wear it while butchering the arab language.

I once had an interesting back and forth with another kiwi farmer on my old account. Wish I could remember who it was. But we broached on the concept of afterlifes and Gods, and people tend to latch onto a God or ideal that suits their own belief. For example, you wish things were back the way they were, you favour a more conservative Christian or Muslim interpretation. You're more liberal? Then God's far move live and let live, and doesn't want you having holy wars in his name.

So we talked about how Cwcville must look to Chris, as an ideal afterlife devoid of responsibility, where battles are easily won, your enemies are visible and as easy to spot as they are to thwart. There's soup hotels for the poor, a mall for all your toys, and no decision Christian makes is the wrong one. Everyone thinks he's awesome and wants to fuck him.

Christian has created a problem though where he's the God. He has no code to emulate, or objectives to work toward to earn divine favour. Instead he has the responsibility of fulfilling the miracles, and in doing so, continually sets himself up to fail. He comes across as a greco-roman god, like Zeus or Apollo. Perpetually trying to fuck mortals, ruining things, having to make schemes, and using lies to get the pussy. The culture of Cwcville would be insane to worship him as anything more than a demented tyrant who plays havoc with their daily lives.

 

[Cletus Kasady]

Mild spergery, but I'd just like to point out that pinging @everyone in a Discord server is a dick move and that, if you do decide to ping @everyone, you don't need to tag individual people in.

Yet another way in which Chris fails to understand how the internet works.

Chris has been using the internet for 20 years he has no excuse to not know the basic etiquette at this point.