Chris's resume -

[renomakicwc]

Lately, I have been working on making a decent resume. So far it's looking pretty decent. About to go have it finished up today (or at least try to).

But, as me and bro were working on our resumes, I began to think about Chris's. It certainly was an odd resume, wasn't it? In fact, I wonder where it currently is these days?

Do you think he still has that thing, or has he thrown it away for one reason or another? What do you think those who hire would think of it upon reading it?

Let's open up this old bit of history and restudy it for our amusment. Maybe we'll find something new?

 

[sparklemilhouse]

All hr offices would throw that thing away in 10 seconds.

When I worked at a community college, I was sitting in on a resume workshop. This guy came in, he was only in his early 20s, but he made his résumé 2 pages long, each job listing was a freakin paragraph, and he put his picture on his résumé, and his race.

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

Yeah, the market is such that employers can have their choice of who they want to hire.

His resume is a joke. Like a lot of things in Chris's life, his resume is a good example of how not to write a resume.

I'm not even sure why he even wrote a resume, because he doesn't want a job. It may have been something his college made him do.

I want to know what JULAY thinks of his resume. He's in HR.

 

[Kosher Dill]

I think Chris probably still "has" the resume in the sense that it resides in a stratum of sediment in 14BC that remains undisturbed. But he probably doesn't remember its existence, and wouldn't have any fond memories of it if he did,
As for what the readers would think: well, his long rambling life story would convince most people it was written by someone with mental problems. Ignoring that, it's just a poorly written resume that is unsuited for any purpose. He has no work experience to speak of, doesn't demonstrate any understanding or insight about the work he did do, and has a grandiose "mission statement" that's unrelated to anything he could conceivably be hired for.

 

[Anchuent Christory]

All hr offices would throw that thing away in 10 seconds.

When I worked at a community college, I was sitting in on a resume workshop. This guy came in, he was only in his early 20s, but he made his résumé 2 pages long, each job listing was a freakin paragraph, and he put his picture on his résumé, and his race.

Here in the UK you don't actually have to put your race, age, or gender down on a resume (or CV as we call it) Because it's illegal for an employer to take these things into account when selecting employees.

As for Chris' resume, I've always loved the cwcism "elbow greased strength" In fact, it was almost my screen name here. And a lot of people pad out a resume with crap and pass it off as something of significance, but Chris listing his Pokemon playing not once, but three times is hysterical.

 

[CatParty]

he is basically unemployable though through the new ways companies hire people. the first two things hr people do these days is google the prospective employee (IGNORE ALL GOOGLE RESULTS) and check the social media sites (sure a comapny will hire a guy making batshit crazy public facebook posts)

 

[shutupman]

http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Chris's_resume

Yes, he drew Sonichu on it.

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

Here in the UK you don't actually have to put your race, age, or gender down on a resume (or CV as we call it) Because it's illegal for an employer to take these things into account when selecting employees.

The law is the same in the US as well, but if you put that stuff on your resume of your own free will that's your business.

CV is more often used for professors and other professionals with lengthy experience.

 

[CatParty]

http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Chris's_resume

Yes, he drew Sonichu on it.

and rosechu.

okay i take it back, he wouldn't even get through to the online vetting. his handwriting alone makes one want to crumple it up before even looking at it.

 

[pickleniggo]

"html wiz". SCREAMING at that.
Also the March 27, 2001 - ????

Oh my god, all of this makes my brain explode. At a previous job, I was in charge of hiring and the shit people (mostly teenagers who want a "cool job" at the mall) would put down was ridiculous. I kind of chalk that up to inexperience with resumes and applications. As a manager, I didn't want to hire anyone that came off as lazy OR anyone who tried to come off as thinking they were a gift from GodJesus himself. Chris kind of does both with his "resume". I know in my experiences, I wanted someone in the middle, so I could turn them into a Competent Employee from the Ground-Up.
I don't think anything will ever top this though. Chris also seems to be the type of person who would take a paper application, hold on to it for a while, and hand it in crumbled up. Those were immediately filed under "NO."

 

[QI 541]

Too bad his parents didn't read the resume and tell him "DON'T DRAW SONICHU ON THERE".

 

[CatParty]

"html wiz". SCREAMING at that.
Also the March 27, 2001 - ????

Oh my god, all of this makes my brain explode. At a previous job, I was in charge of hiring and the shit people (mostly teenagers who want a "cool job" at the mall) would put down was ridiculous. I kind of chalk that up to inexperience with resumes and applications. As a manager, I didn't want to hire anyone that came off as lazy OR anyone who tried to come off as thinking they were a gift from GodJesus himself. Chris kind of does both with his "resume". I know in my experiences, I wanted someone in the middle, so I could turn them into a Competent Employee from the Ground-Up.
I don't think anything will ever top this though. Chris also seems to be the type of person who would take a paper application, hold on to it for a while, and hand it in crumbled up. Those were immediately filed under "NO."

also it looks like he drew butts for sonichu and rosechu's pupils.

 

[sparklemilhouse]

Didn't one time he was bitching to someone that he hate doing computer job applications, or refused to do one because it was on the computer? I think it was a Walmart application.

 

[Butta Face Lopez]

He definitely complained at one point about going to get a job application where he was told to apply online, I remember that for sure.

 

[Henry Bemis]

It's also no surprise that his resume was found on Monster.com, waiting and waiting and waiting for employers to read.

 

[Kosher Dill]

He hated PVCC's online system too. "POWERWEB STINKS ON ICE!!"

 

[Tubular Monkey]

That resume just makes me mad.

Your primary duties were:

Drawing, writing and story-telling the continuing adventures of Sonichu, Rosechu, and myself from LIFE.


I wish Chris was at least intelligent enough to be ashamed of himself.

 

[Stratochu]

he is basically unemployable though through the new ways companies hire people. the first two things hr people do these days is google the prospective employee (IGNORE ALL GOOGLE RESULTS) and check the social media sites (sure a comapny will hire a guy making batshit crazy public facebook posts)

I thought using Facebook to get info on prospective employees was illegal.

 

[QI 541]

he is basically unemployable though through the new ways companies hire people. the first two things hr people do these days is google the prospective employee (IGNORE ALL GOOGLE RESULTS) and check the social media sites (sure a comapny will hire a guy making batshit crazy public facebook posts)

I thought using Facebook to get info on prospective employees was illegal.

It's public information. The law can't prevent you from Googling a person's name.

 

[CatParty]

he is basically unemployable though through the new ways companies hire people. the first two things hr people do these days is google the prospective employee (IGNORE ALL GOOGLE RESULTS) and check the social media sites (sure a comapny will hire a guy making batshit crazy public facebook posts)

I thought using Facebook to get info on prospective employees was illegal.

asking for the password is illegal, but looking at it isn't

http://business.time.com/2012/07/09/how ... sions-now/