Chrissey's Peerage? -

[Scuttle456]

It is abundently clear that Chris is descended from Anne Boleyn, queen of england, (and by extension Henry VIII.... explains a lot IMO)

The question is, is the royal connection from Bob or Barb? neither seem very noble....

 

[Henry Bemis]

Chris, at most, can claim to be a descendant of the Jamestown settlers, not the Plymouth settlers like he claims, neither of whom would have conceivable significant royal connections.

Now all Chris has to do is worry about the hundreds/thousands/hundreds of thousands of people who can claim a similar lineage.

 

[Johnny Bravo]

According to some guy on the internet, something like 10% of the world's population is related to Genghis Khan. Maybe that's where Chris's anger issues come from.

 

[CatParty]

It's all lies

 

[Scuttle456]

It's all lies

Not necessarily CatParty...It could be that Anne Boleyn had a tryst with some other lord, thus producing Chris' ancestor... Perhaps the "trumped up charges" of adultery against Anne were true after all...

Personally though, if I were to "make up" an ancestor from tudor times it would be Thomas More !!

 

[CatParty]

Really over thinking that

 

[Stuff and Things]

Chris is 1/18 cherokian

 

[Ja'mie]

The Anne Boleyn connection supposedly comes from IIRC.

 

[fuzzypickles]

He's not, contrary to what he believes, descended from anyone interesting. Barb's family, as far records could go, show that her side is all hicks from the hills of Virginia. Bob, on the other hand, could've had a black ancestor (possibly a slave), and used "Cherokee" as a cover because of the stigma of being a black man in the South in his time.

 

[Stratochu]

Inb4 Spergatory and lock

He's lying.

 

[OtterParty]

I've never seen him rage about his girl-shaped pee stains.

Serious answer: he was totally lying.

 

[Hyperion]

I could claim lineage from dozens of Native Chiefs simply because I can be proven to be of their people and there were no records kept.

Chris claims lineage from the Virgin Queen, who died childless. Records were kept.

Seems legit.

 

[Tubular Monkey]

If Barb had told Chris that his great grandfather was a Charizard, Chris would have believed it. If Barb had told Chris that she bedded Donald Duck, and that was Cole's real father, Chris would believe it. If Barb told Chris that she receives messages from the hoard that instructed her on the spaceship she needs to build, Chris would believe it. I could go on, but it's Christmas.

 

[LordCustos3]

Until we have the results of a DNA test, we don't and shouldn't take this redneck yahoos word about his lineage as gospel.

 

[Marvin]

He's not, contrary to what he believes, descended from anyone interesting. Barb's family, as far records could go, show that her side is all hicks from the hills of Virginia. Bob, on the other hand, could've had a black ancestor (possibly a slave), and used "Cherokee" as a cover because of the stigma of being a black man in the South in his time.

That's a possibility, but indian ancestry in the south is genuinely pretty common.

I could claim lineage from dozens of Native Chiefs simply because I can be proven to be of their people and there were no records kept.

Chris claims lineage from the Virgin Queen, who died childless. Records were kept.

Seems legit.

Barb's probably full of shit, but Chris' claim is that he's related to a cousin or something of Anne Boleyn.

 

[Zim]

You can tell by Chris's overall body shape and intelligence that he's descended from the noble and brave turnips that journeyed to the New World on the Mayflower.

 

[Francine StripeCheer]

He's not, contrary to what he believes, descended from anyone interesting. Barb's family, as far records could go, show that her side is all hicks from the hills of Virginia. Bob, on the other hand, could've had a black ancestor (possibly a slave), and used "Cherokee" as a cover because of the stigma of being a black man in the South in his time.

That's a possibility, but indian ancestry in the south is genuinely pretty common.

No, fake Indian ancestry by part-niggos is common

 

[Doge]

This was settled a long time ago.

Anne Boleyn > Ancestors > Daniel Weston > Ancestors > Barb \ Christian > + Rosechu > Cerah, Christine, Robbie
Cherokian King > Ancestors > William Wynn > Ancestors > Bob /

He's just chocked full of royalty. The Sonichu side is a paternal trait.

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

I don't get why Chris thinks his fantasy of royal lineage makes any difference to anything. He's still a nobody living in a garbage dump who can't do anything or get anything he wants. Isn't that more relevant?

 

[Kosher Dill]

I don't get why Chris thinks his fantasy of royal lineage makes any difference to anything.

It fits in exactly with his mindset that you're great because of what you are, not what you do.
The autistic wrinkle that he adds to it is that doing something just once is enough to make it "what you are", but that's neither here nor there.