Christmas gift's thread - cringy, lude or otherwise normal.

[160048]

I thought it would be nice to have a thread dedicated to the greed of the Christmas season and let us talk about the things we want, gave, or have got for Christmas.

For example, what's your weirdest gift you gave or received, or the most embarrassing, or the most wholesome.

 

[takemetoyourgrave]

I personally have gifted myself with a weighted blanket for this unforgiving holiday season. I have in the past received a “love potion” perfume from a friend which smelled like roses and peaches.

As for the saddest thing, I work the jewelry counter in a retail establishment and I had a gentleman telling me he planned on proposing near Christmas. I show him our selection of rings which range from $30-$500. The $30 rings are classified as “promise rings” but I’ve seen people use them for gifts, engagements (especially for young broke couples) so it really doesn’t matter. I start with the $100-200 range which is usually a safe bet, but no it’s too expensive. So I go down to the $30-60 rings. However $30 was too far from this gentleman’s price range.
Let me reiterate that. This man wants to propose with a ring cheaper than $30. So I show him the stainless steel bands for $18. Still nice, tough, won’t change color ever.

Those are still too expensive.

I point him at the costume jewelry wall. $5-10. He finally decides on a $9 ring and gets pissed when I won’t guarantee it won’t change color after a few years......

 

[Rand /pol/]

Your mother once sent me a picture of her penis for Christmas

 

[Dysnomia]

I personally have gifted myself with a weighted blanket for this unforgiving holiday season. I have in the past received a “love potion” perfume from a friend which smelled like roses and peaches.

As for the saddest thing, I work the jewelry counter in a retail establishment and I had a gentleman telling me he planned on proposing near Christmas. I show him our selection of rings which range from $30-$500. The $30 rings are classified as “promise rings” but I’ve seen people use them for gifts, engagements (especially for young broke couples) so it really doesn’t matter. I start with the $100-200 range which is usually a safe bet, but no it’s too expensive. So I go down to the $30-60 rings. However $30 was too far from this gentleman’s price range.
Let me reiterate that. This man wants to propose with a ring cheaper than $30. So I show him the stainless steel bands for $18. Still nice, tough, won’t change color ever.

Those are still too expensive.

I point him at the costume jewelry wall. $5-10. He finally decides on a $9 ring and gets pissed when I won’t guarantee it won’t change color after a few years......

If he can't afford $18 for a stainless steel ring how does he expect to support a family? Good God.

I'd like a lot of things actually. But on terms of what's reasonable I'll take a decent pair of affordable quality headphones that aren't $5.

 

[Hellbound Hellhound]

The only appropriate Christmas present is novelty Christmas socks. Anything else is sacrilegious decadence.

 

[Cat Menagerie]

The most wholesome gift I've received was a generous donation of food and treats to an animal rescue I volunteer for, if that counts.

 

[ForgedBlades]

My uncle gets me the worst stuff every year. God bless him, I love him to death, but dear lord. For some reason he thinks that I'm into hiking and outdoors shit even though I rarely ever leave the house. Last year he got me this expensive tactical fanny pack that I guess you're supposed to keep your valuables in while hiking or camping or whatever. Still sitting in my closet with the tags on it. Two years ago he got me some sort of odometer for a bicycle despite the fact that I haven't owned or been on a bike in nineteen years and I doubt that I remember how to ride one at this point.

 

[Midlife Sperglord]

My mother once bought me a hentai VHS tape for Christmas. When I was in high school. But in her defense, the cover art was so tame that neither she nor the clerk at the video store knew what the real content of the tape was.

 

[gachacunt]

My late grandmother and grandfather would send me a lot of stuffed animals when I was younger. I still have many of them in my basement : I could never think of throwing them away!

 

[Dolphin Lundgren]

I haven't bought a Christmas gift in ages but this year I ordered a book that my s/o was interested in.

 

[Kiwi Lime Pie]

For example, what's your weirdest gift you gave or received

My sixth grade teacher - a well-liked teacher I'll call Mrs. Smith - decided to do something different with our class on the last day of school before Christmas break. The day before, she told everyone to bring a wrapped gag gift with them the next day. I told my mom about this when I came home, and we choose to wrap a small package containing two rather useless items: the lid from an empty Pringles can and the band and metal border from a watch whose timepiece had broken and been long discarded.

The next afternoon, Mrs. Smith tells us we're going to play Bingo. A student's first Bingo (5 in a row) allowed for a choice of any one prize on the table. On each subsequent Bingo until the card was full or time ran out, students had the following choices:

• Do nothing and keep their current gift,
• If there were still gifts on the table, swap their current gift with one on the table, or
• Go to another student and exchange gifts with him or her.

On the table full of gifts, there was one rather large package with all kinds of candy taped to the outside - drawing much interest the instant it was placed on the table. Something told me something didn't seem right about it, so I ignored it. However, the rest of the class didn't share my sentiment; that one gift changed hands many times during the game with each person having to give it up to someone else looking on in sincere disappointment.

One Bingo ended, everyone opened their gifts. The person who ended up with the big box was quite disgusted to learn the candy on the outside was the only thing of value. What smelled like rotting garbage was the gift inside, drawing the loudest laughs from the rest of the class - and some sighs of relief from those who lost the gift during the game. I ended up with a generic knockoff version of a Trapper Keeper that had a Polaroid picture of an unfamiliar person hidden away in one of the folders.