I... I don't even know where to begin with this one. This is a whole new breed. I'll let his massive barely-readable wall-of-text description speak for itself.
Here's his blog (archive) , 'art''work', pics of the sexgod himself (he's single, ladies), and his books, with such classics as 'Queefy Whispers from Becca's Sandy Vagina'
The visitor count on the top of his blog counts each visitor as a 'possible soulmate', and instead of a muscle bra that says 'WANT WOMAN!', he advertises his Facebook and other personal info on his spray painted car in the hopes that girls will hit him up.
Hey puddins, name's Andy Patton of Hammond, Indiana. I'm single, lonely, poor and most times can't afford ramen. its been 4yrs having not fucked a woman mainly scarred from heartbreak but also i seek love and not fingerbangs, i'm a novelist of over a dozen books (details in my publshed folder on my facebook .com/boathopper page, add me) I have 800+ short films,15 are pretty good, you'd have to type 'andyp's short films' to see some on multiple accounts, i'm always deleted, a rebel on youtube, i have a hellraiser script at hellraisernightshines.yolasite.com, another tumblr at clivedavinciromance , i had a script in hollywood bounced around called boathopper which is science fiction about a monster slamming into our oceans, but the serial killer described in it is identical and predates the 'dexter' book and show, and yes its copywritten just like the rest of my sampled work, stephen king even samples me, to see more about the dexter narrative and incredible journey your detections could take just youtube 'andyp's arduous travels of an unrenound serial killer'. my body is caked and dented in scars, lacerations and holes because i'm a good person, a strong person, doing good things in a horrible place.i'm was entering a finished 3rd horror feature into sundance but its incomplete, i made it by myself in a empty building when i was homeless, its under 'sundancers andyp's' on youtube, the 2nd part is the best, my 1st two features were generic slashers and don't count as serious, i'm finishing up another book, a fantasy novel i think will be bigger than harry potter...i WILL become larger than stephen king, and you wonder why i choose such a high totum to climb other than a smaller horror writer? well its because i've finished libraries of writing, novels and shorts, all the decades i've been alone and sad in a dark room as an introvert, what is dormant, and what is almost accomplished is more thatn king, almost, i need a few green miles and stand by me's first, and then i need a few other stories and books and i will have achieved more elaborate words than star wars or marvel combined, i just have to get them seen is all, tha'ts the hard/easy part......i hang out with my gay friends in portage, they're all i have in my life, my mexican bestie is leaving ot vegas, i don't have any other real friends, and no family left, i'm just all alone in the world, i drive a stupid car i spraypainted purple, i act like a retard because i want to filter through phony uptight people, i want a real cool, good girl, who doesn't fuck everyone like everyone in society does, i want a lover and rebel and fighter, not someone who's ordinary like my ex who breaks hearts and breaks herself off pieces of dick at any whim, i haven't kissed a girl in over 2 years. I'm not a sleazeball, i've only had 3serious long relationships, that means i've only had sex with 3 people, no additional fingerbangs or buttfuckings, maybe i kissed ten more girls, but that's it. I say heartfelt poems or perversion after almost every pic i reblog, so the history of my tumblr is quite a reading adventure. I'm a horror writer, here is a link to my newest collection of stories http://www.lulu.com/shop/andrew-patton/reflections-in-the-dark/paperback/product-20340079.html I'm an animal activist.gay rights activist, civil rights activist and women's rights activist, BUT I despise stupid groups of people like most feminists, most bisexuals, most of what p.e.t.a does, truth anti smoking commercials, etc, because these consist mainly of spoiled brats doing nothing, not being in any form of fight, just a lap of luxery, forcing their beliefs or ways of life on you even if they are the most insane selfish things imagineable, like i actually argue with people who do gangbangs and have swinger parties, could they honestly justify that disgusting shit to me, do it on your own time and leave me out of your sexcapades, i'm the most fucked up person alive, stranger by far of any human alive, i have an imaginative mind but i also have social skills, i know what its like being lonesome its why i hate when people just fuck tons of others, they spit at something i wish i had, they are gluttonous. My idols are Clive Barker, i made my art collection entirely out of scratch but i had him in mind to impress him, and i also made a book of short stories like his books of blood, i'm very similar to him, a huge fan, but it wasn't on purpose, its weird, its liked he fucked my mom in the 70's before he went gay or something, Stephen King, Kenny Hotz, Wayne Pacelle of the hspca, and others, even steve o and tom green. i'm the poorest person i know, yet i give my singles to bums, i'm selfless, i'm lazy, but when i have ambition like someone helping me, i'll create milestones. i make all my videos mostly in this loft at my moms house, i'm stuck here until my federal probation is up, not like i'll go anywhere else unless i get mental disability, i have no drive in life for average shit, i'm a creator, not an assembly line worker, i don't need the shit that money can buy, i'd never go to disneyland again even if someone bought me a package cause i think its extravagent and there are kids that will never see that place, i'd let them go in my place. i dislike snooty superficial people who act like they are better than you and are mean and bully and act like they're cool, when really they are fucking ignorant whiny brats in college or some shit trying to find their identities; they are jackoffs. so beware if you get offended by something i say, which is almost always a joke, cause i'll outdebate you and i'm VERY mean to bullies who get used to being tools in their normal lives with normal people, cause i'm not normal, i'm elite, cream of the crop, super large penis machoman, and i'm wittier, funnier and fucking the coolest fuck you'll ever know period, so bitches on their periods stand no chance either. My trolling book is blowing up, its sold 43 copies now, i've made it cheaper, black & white, so i'm making money now, DON'T USE CREATESPACE they are not creative friendly. you can find my large magazine type trolling book here.. http://www.lulu.com/shop/andrew-patton/trolling-101/paperback/product-20324152.html I've been raised by women without a father, i'm very feminine but strong, so don't turn me into an angry woman that will tell you off, but it takes alot to even get me mad, it just may seem i'm mad cause i'm pretty creative and outspoken, but really, i just laugh at your insults and bullying and i destroy anything you shit out with my verbal reckonings. I don't think i'm better than anyone, i'm kind to everyone, and that's what opens my mouth in the first place, is people attacking me or trying to bully me, it reminds me of how they could be doing it do someone else, like a gay kid, a black person, a woman, and it pisses me off. scene kids are the worst, almost like nazis cause they are a form of upper rich caste system that thinks they're better and they get snobby and uptight and its fucking annoying. I'm faithful,, sometimes romantic, sometimes funny genuine human. I dob not have anything in common with humans, I feel I'm more intelligent and its a burden being in a way, an ugly duckling. But I relate to morons too, because I am a stupid moron sometimes, I'm silly like that. next month i will have seen 10 psychiatrists in my life yet there's nothing even wrong with me.I'm the kind of person who would volunteer his head to a row of nazis so that others may live, i'm selfless. I'm also the kind of person who would be the ONLY one to stand up and risk not being hidden anymore, risk being killed by those nazis just to stand up to them. I'm a leader. I've led 100 of the world's worst maniacs in a jail cell for a year, I was on the back of a 7ft nigerian man preventing him from killing someone, I was a good person in a bad place, like jesus walking this shitty earth. Upon an apoclypse in 2012 i can lead the world to peace. i'm also the kind of person that is a fighter, i can be on my bloody knees before a dozen nazis and slice all their throats in moments before they know what's happening. I've only been with 3 girls, all long relationships and am still looking for my true soul mate on this planet, I've scavenged billions of galaxies looking and my search has ended here. You're here somewhere, I sense you. My ex got me put in jail to become a pornstar? She sent a threat to Kevin Spacey's website. The fuckers stole my movie 'The Thing' but made it shitty, read my synopsis or script at thethingfromanotherworld.webs.com. 2nd time feds kicked in my door, guns blazing, I told them my gf had shaved a penis in my chest hair, which she really did the night before, they looked and laughed and withdrew their guns out of our faces, I basically saved that crazy ex ponrstar, tattood bitch's life with my wittiness and her stupid art project she did on me when she was bored. Plus, having a lifesize darth maul figurine at the foot of my bed didn't really solidify to these saps I was a real serial murderer. I'm a handyman and can do just about anything, I'm currently building a movie set for my next silly video. I type 100 words a minute. I'm great with my mind, hands and dignity and I apply those things to women. I'm the most compassionate person alive or who has ever lived. I'm a registered rehabber wih the D.N.R. of Indiana. I"m incredible in all sports. I love spending time with someone I love watching movies and going out to eat, just waiting on that right girl. I have a bachelor's in English, and an associates from Minneapolis in Art instruction, but I'm happy with being a loser, being poor and having no future, I'm just trying to manage every day on this shitty planet, being a very lonely wise thing. I've been to California a dozen times in the last 2 years and not for vacation or my own accord (long story). I'm VERY down to earth and give great advice. If I could go to Chipotle daily I would, but I have no girl in my life, no significant other, no waddling penguin, no friend to hold my hand. i do like a girl alot, but i realize how fucked up i am, sometimes i don't even want to get out of bed, i'd need her to understand what its like to be lonesome and depressed, i really miss holding someone. we're all doomed to die, it sucks, i'm just trying to make my life as comfortable as possible with the little means i have, hopefully they'll put me on mental disability and i can continue my writing without having to work shit jobs to make ends meet, or save for a date with a girl and it never happens anyways go to a few of my sites myspace.com/andyp6 or Andy's Facebook link is below, its facebook.com/boathopper i have a new myspace account but rarely use it
Here's his blog (archive) , 'art''work', pics of the sexgod himself (he's single, ladies), and his books, with such classics as 'Queefy Whispers from Becca's Sandy Vagina'
The visitor count on the top of his blog counts each visitor as a 'possible soulmate', and instead of a muscle bra that says 'WANT WOMAN!', he advertises his Facebook and other personal info on his spray painted car in the hopes that girls will hit him up.
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, I find this guy interesting. We could use more like him in this subforum. What a breath of fresh air. His artwork man... his artwork.
