Cocktails - Them fruity chick drinks

Andrew Noel Schaefer

Mentally ill goblin who only talks about soda.
Person of Interest
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I'm curious. Does Mountain Dew go well with anything? I glug that stuff the same way @Null glugs C.oke Zero
 

neverendingmidi

it just goes on and on and on and on...
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I'm curious. Does Mountain Dew go well with anything? I glug that stuff the same way @Null glugs C.oke Zero
Traditional MD? Not really. It can pass with Seagram's 7, but only if you're really desperate.

The blue MD, though. That shit goes well with pretty much anything. Add some vodka and triple sec.
I agree with @Jackass RN. I was out of Coca Cola once and had Mt. Dew on hand. I figured "why the hell not?" and used it with some Bacardi. I drank it because I didn't want to waste alcohol, but yeessh, it was nasty.
 

AnOminous

Really?
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Retired Staff
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I agree with @Jackass RN. I was out of Coca Cola once and had Mt. Dew on hand. I figured "why the hell not?" and used it with some Bacardi. I drank it because I didn't want to waste alcohol, but yeessh, it was nasty.
I used to make a Dew-Dad, which was Mountain Dew and Old Grand-Dad. Almost all those soda and some liquor drinks are pretty bad, of course, but who cares?

The only one that is actually tasty is the Dark and Stormy, which consists of some spiced rum and strong ginger beer, in whatever proportions you prefer.
 

neverendingmidi

it just goes on and on and on and on...
kiwifarms.net
I used to make a Dew-Dad, which was Mountain Dew and Old Grand-Dad. Almost all those soda and some liquor drinks are pretty bad, of course, but who cares?

The only one that is actually tasty is the Dark and Stormy, which consists of some spiced rum and strong ginger beer, in whatever proportions you prefer.
Crabbie's alcoholic ginger beer makes awesome Moscow Mules.
 

Dr. Boe Jangles Esq.

Original Prick
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A personal favorite and specialty of yours truly during my bartending days:

The Epitaph

2.5 oz Deaths Door Gin
1 oz Fresh squeezed lime juice
.25 oz St. Germaine
.25 oz Velvet Falernum
A splash of blue curacao, for color
A healthy splash of absinthe (optional)

Shake with ice and strain into a chilled martini glass with a single cherry in the bottom. Garnish with a thin twist of lime peel on the rim.

Drink wisely, it's called the epitaph because your night is fucking over after this.
 
  • DRINK!
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Dr. Boe Jangles Esq.

Original Prick
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Can we have our own blend of a Kiwi themed cocktail using BIG, BLACK DICK?
Sure thing:

The Autists Draught

1 can of Coke Zero (In honor of our Dear Leader)
.5 oz grenadine (Because you're all a pack of fruity fucking queers)
3 oz vodka (Because if it doesn't get you shitfaced, what's the use?)
1 oz pure everclear (In honor of Dynastia and the horrible things he does to people)
1 dash orange bitters (To represent the bitterness and salt of our depressive, maladjusted userbase)
1 oz Triple Sec (obligatory Orange Fanta reference)
.5 oz cherry brandy or Kinky liquor (To represent the terrifying fetishes and pornography you fucking degenerates fail to spoil in threads)
Optional additions:
500 mg hydrogen cyanide (To represent Deep Thoughts and literally everything ever said in it)

Shake with ice and strain into a highball glass, top with the coke.
Garnish with a fist sized hunk of Crayola Fucking Model Magic and the knowledge of your parents eternal disappointment.

Bon appetite.
 
Last edited:

AnOminous

Really?
True & Honest Fan
Retired Staff
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A healthy splash of absinthe (optional)
Do you have an opinion on an absinthe that combines drinkability and affordability? Most absinthes I've seen are wildly overpriced hipster liquor. The beverage itself largely trades on its somewhat undeserved evil reputation from the era in which banning it was seen as punishing degenerate elements in European society.
 

AnimuGinger

Schmuck in Scrubs
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Sure thing:

The Autists Draught

1 can of BIG, BLACK DICK (In honor of our Dear Leader)
.5 oz grenadine (Because you're all a pack of fruity fucking queers)
3 oz vodka (Because if it doesn't get you shitfaced, what's the use?)
1 oz pure everclear (In honor of Dynastia and the horrible things he does to people)
1 dash orange bitters (To represent the bitterness and salt of our depressive, maladjusted userbase)
1 oz Triple Sec (obligatory Orange Fanta reference)
.5 oz cherry brandy or Kinky liquor (To represent the terrifying fetishes and pornography you fucking degenerates fail to spoil in threads)
Optional additions:
500 mg hydrogen cyanide (To represent Deep Thoughts and literally everything ever said in it)

Shake with ice and strain into a highball glass, top with the coke.
Garnish with a fist sized hunk of Crayola Fucking Model Magic and the knowledge of your parents eternal disappointment.

Bon appetite.
You forgot the part where you ejaculate into the highball glass first. Gotta recycle the navy somehow.
 
  • Agree
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Flowers For Sonichu

2nd Team all-confefence in Kick the Autistic
True & Honest Fan
Retired Staff
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Sidewalk slammer

40 Oz of malt liquor (I prefer st ides). Drink down to the top of the label. Pour in 4loko (back when it killed 16 year olds) and keep drinking

Drank this all the time in college. Once found my roommate passed out drunk in front of the fridge with the door open.
 

AnOminous

Really?
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Retired Staff
kiwifarms.net
Sidewalk slammer

40 Oz of malt liquor (I prefer st ides). Drink down to the top of the label. Pour in 4loko (back when it killed 16 year olds) and keep drinking

Drank this all the time in college. Once found my roommate passed out drunk in front of the fridge with the door open.
The only people I ever knew who drank St. Ides were either black, heroin addicts, or both.
 

RichardMongler

Causing much mayhem, dropping drama
kiwifarms.net
Dr. Dick's Piña Colada:
  • 1+ cup Talenti Carribean Coconut gelato
  • 1 1/2+ cup ice
  • 1/2+ cup diced pineapple, frozen
  • 2+ oz. pineapple juice
  • 2+ oz. Coco Lopez coconut cream
  • 1 1/2+ oz. Sugar Island Coconut rum (fuck Malibu, Bacardi and all other shit-tier rums)
  • 1 ounce dark rum
  • Fresh pineapple slices (optional)
Place all ingredients in blender and whir away. Pour into a glass, garnish with fresh pineapple and salute.

I'd like to plug Sugar Island because that brand should be industry standard for mixed drinks with coconut rum. Adds a perfect amount of sweetness without any of the mouth-burning booziness of the other brands. Drink it straight, and it goes down like water.
 

Cardenio

Autistic Gaucho
True & Honest Fan
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I once ordered a Martini and the Bartender Thot shook it. I kinda hate James Bond for making that meme a thing.

Remember, if its all Alcoholic Liquid in there you STIR!!!
 
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