college... -

[Acceptable]

my first day of college is in like 9 days and I'm nervous as fuck...
do any of you have some hilarious or interesting stories from college???
anyone have any lolcow roommates or crazy teachers?
also, advice would be cool haha


unimportant edit
(i spoke to my roommate over text and she seems really nice, she's a fashion design major. which is not really my thing. I'm a veterinary major and not into all that girly shit.)

 

[Ido]

I once had a guy show me his furry art in our physics class, there was 30 pages of a fox chick with huge, uncovered tits. The last page was scissoring. It was for his art class and drawn very poorly, and it was a 30-day project that was a part of the final for that class. Since that teacher was big on peer reviewing I assume he had to leave it on his desk for the rest of the class to see. My friend was sitting right next to me and looking through it with me, it took all our strength not to laugh.

 

[Coleman Francis]

do any of you have some hilarious or interesting stories from college???

In the parking lot where I left my car each morning, there was this guy who also parked there and he'd leave a secret love note stuck in the door of this broad he had a crush on. I'd always arrive right after he'd leave the note and I'd take them, read them, and throw them in the trash. I wonder how everything worked out for them?

 

[GS 281]

I may or may not have experience teaching at the college level and had a student who was the laziest POS ever.

I had them one semester and they never showed up for class, never turned in any work. I am pretty lenient and he even asked me for an alternate assignment so he could make up points lost. I gave him the alt assignment and while it was pretty rigorous, I was expecting something. It was a 25 page lit review and he gave me 3 pages. When I just went ahead and failed him he whined at me about that in email, but after I tagged in the department head he sorta just faded away.

The next semester rolled around and he was in my class again. Same class, different format. I like to change shit up. So before the first day of class I get an email from someone saying they were his tutor and they wanted a copy of my syllabus. I said I only give that out to students so they were fine with it. So throughout the semester this kid doesn't show up again! But he does turn his work in. The weird thing about it all was that his papers were written at an exceptionally high level of grammar, but with a certain vagueness which suggested that the writer didn't know the material. That could be expected, but when looking at the difference in grammar from the emails to the papers, something was up. So I go ahead and check the metadata for the Word file. Wouldn't you know it? The same name as the "tutor" was the name in the meta. So I go ahead and run a check on that name, and it was someone who was a doctoral student at another university in the area, who was offering services such as editing and custom model essay writing.

For those not familiar, custom model essays are essays written as a "model" for how a paper should be completed. They aren't supposed to be turned in, but that's what people who buy them do. Calling it a "custom model" is basically how they get around the legalities of writing other people's homework.

So I call him out on it and show him my findings. He won't admit to it. He literally has this gigantic meltdown, trying to blame me for picking on him. He is relentless about this. So I tag in my department head and he tags in a bunch of students who start flooding our email saying that he was being picked on for being disabled. I didn't even know he was disabled, and there was no record of disability. It turned out he had an ADHD diagnosis. So we go ahead and bring him in to talk, we give him an oral exam on everything he wrote and clearly he could not respond to anything, saying he had bad memory. So, I offer him the same thing I did a semester before. He takes the offer, but again. No paper! I failed him and he took another prof the next semester.

 

[Kari Kamiya]

While I liked talking to a lot of my classmates and still miss some of them today, I mostly kept to myself in college, and I feel like I was blessed with good teachers (one of my favorite gen-ed instructors was a woman from the Ukraine, she taught Algebra and Political Science) and those few bad experiences I had went by pretty quickly, so I couldn't tell you what went on. My Photoshop teacher I think was the most peculiar, it came out months after that class ended that he had forged paperwork or something to get the job and he wasn't "qualified" to be a teacher. Which is funny because I learned a lot about Photoshop from him, and he's partly the reason why I've improved on my art despite having gone to school for film and video.

Interestingly enough, I had heard some crazy stories about the Culture and Ethnics (or whatever the hell it was called) teacher being a nutjob, so when I had to take that class, I chose to do it online. Almost failed it because the instructor somehow missed my final assignment that I had turned in on time and I had to email her proof of it.

I might've had classmates who were bad apples and didn't pull their weight, but I only ever caught that in passing through gossip since I got along pretty good with a lot of folks, many of whom sadly ended up dropping out or never went for their Bachelor's. I think I was the designated "innocent, sheltered" student due to my stature and just how much of a wide-eyed idealist I was around them (so I remember in one class a classmate saying it was an accomplishment in getting me to say "penis"), but I'm not entirely sure about it since I can recall a number of times I got to creep out some guys with my ideas and from a brief portrayal of a ghost girl. Another (who dropped out) was the one who introduced me to Tumblr, she practically begged me to get one. In hindsight she was an SJW, but she was a rather mild example at the time, I think she went off the deep end after leaving school. I didn't mind talking to her, though, we somehow found things to talk about, so I got nothing bad to say.

That was pretty much my experience. It was always FAFSA that was the worst part about college, fuck FAFSA. (Though thinking back on it, this might be what for-profit schools use, I dunno. Didn't know much about for-profit schools at the time, so that could explain everything.)

School's closed down now after graduating out its students (my class was among one of the lasts). It was really sad to watch the school slowly empty out, made worse by the fact the audio students had a new, beautiful recording studio built in one of the buildings (had to take two audio classes, so I got to be in it one semester). I don't know what's become of it, if it's being rented out now or what, it would be awful to hear it was going to waste all this time.

 

[GS 281]

lol someone wrote a paper on gamergate in one of my classes

 

[dunbrine47]

Me and my friend are chilling in the library. This sperg girl (from my old highschool), comes up to us and talks to my friend.

Spoiler: Some appropriate music for what's about to happen.

She then starts talking about her boyfriend and admitting (in public) how he made her smoke weed and now she is freaking out because she does not want her parents to find out. Did I mention she also admitted that her car smelled 4.2 times worse then usual?
While this is going on, to my friend I'm nonverbally like "She's your problem" and proceed to raise the Italian magazine I was reading over my face and wish I was in the hills of Tuscany at that moment.
About 20 minutes later we were all in the same club meeting. Weed Girl then claims she feels dizzy and sees four copies of my friend. I'm just like: "yea, shoudn't have smoked teh wheed".She claims that she was going to get rid of her boyfriend. Right.....

 

[MerriedxReldnahc]

I found that joining student government really helped me come out of my shell and be more social, also you learn a lot about the school by being part of it. We got into some serious shenanigains though.
Our Executive Cabinet had our own offices (I was publicity director) and it wasn't uncommon to have people jousting with yardsticks on office chairs down the room. My friend and I once played ping pong against one of the big windows by our desks. And then there was the dart incident. The publicity workroom was really tall and filling ballons with helium was an issue because of you lost hold of your balloon, it floated over ten feet above you. Our solution was to throw darts at it, which lead to us getting a dart stuck in the ceiling. My friend had to stand on a counter and hit it down with a pair of yardsticks taped together. There was also the time we went to a leadership conference and chilled in the hot tub with a bunch of gay dudes and a really hairy old guy with the largest nipple rings I have ever seen. Your student government at work! I also got to be the mascot on several occasions.

Spoiler: Other fun things

We are right next to an army base and down the highway from the prison. During a slew of wildfires, the inmate fire crews (nonviolent offenders mainly) were set up at the army base. I got a campus alert text that an inmate had escaped and was possibly loose on campus, but we wern't on lockdown. We just needed to "be aware" of the goddamn loose prison inmate. The found him hiding in a porta-potty on the soccer field.
On the subject of our army base, the helipad is behind campus and we sometimes have Chinook helicopters flying overhead, it's badass.
Another great story is that people (one guy actually) decided that vaping in the library was a really good idea. It's not. It triggers the particle detectors in the building causing the alarm to go off, and the while building has to be evacuated. This happened SIX TIMES in one semester.

I've got tons of others, those are the ones that come to me at the moment. I'm possibly going to be getting a part-time job in the art department so I'll have more to come! That's another good tip, finding good student jobs on campus once you get used to the environment and your scedule allows it.

 

[Leveilleur]

My first year of college I had an god awful roommate. The only shows she seemed to watch was Friends and that one Disney show with the lemur. She was such a polar opposite I'm pretty sure they just matched us together because we were from the same city. Then again I went to a pretty Catholic college. Quickly got another roommate the following year who was more chill but still had a few issues. Eventually I found a pretty decent group to fit into. For advice, try different clubs and stuff, that's what helped me out the most.

As for funny stories, me and my friends frequently tried to sneak through to different parts of the buildings that were closed/locked off. We crawled through a window to eventually get into a storage room in one of the dorms where we discovered a shit ton of alcohol. We guessed it was left by the custodians. But we kept that window unlocked from there on out. Eventually through school and work, one of my friends had a modified ID card that let us go into any building, and we hung out in one of the closed dorms pretty often. It was some good times.

 

[ForgedBlades]

Jesus, where do I begin?

I've talked about this in other threads, but I'm a 29 year old undergrad. There are pros and cons to this on a daily basis. On the plus side, I'm there to get shit done. I don't care about appearances, popularity, and getting drunk. I got all of that out my system a long time ago. I spend my Friday and Saturday nights studying and laughing at people getting arrested on the police scanner. It really is amazing how much you can accomplish when you treat college like a full time, soul crushing job, and are not distracted by ancillary bullshit.

My age and academic performance have also allowed me to get really close with my adviser who happens to be the department chair. He knows what I'm there to do, respects it, and has my back. The doors he can open aren't anything to sneeze at. Some of the best advice I can give to anyone is to get close to the people in your department. Go to your professors' office hours, join clubs pertinent to your program, drop in on your adviser from time to time, volunteer, even straight up brown nose. It may be easier said than done depending on what you're studying and how big your school is, and it won't happen overnight, but cultivating a relationship with faculty members is going to allow you to get a leg up on other people. I've also gotten pretty close with a few grad students in my department, and I've found that helpful as well.

You want to know the best part though? I'm pushing 30 and I'm living in the dorms. Not even the dorm for "nontraditional" students, but they assigned me to the freshman dorms. No bullshit. I wanted to live on campus for a number of reasons. First of all, apartments here are astronomically expensive. I'm saving a lot of money. Second, I can easily leave if I get accepted for an internship or study abroad program and I won't have to deal with the hassle of finding a sub-leaser. Finally, I wanted to be able to roll out of bed and walk to class, and not have to deal with buses or parking.

So anyway, I signed up to live in the dorms before enrolling, and was shocked when I found out I would be moving in with kids who were a decade younger than me. I told myself I would tough it out for a year, but it ended up being okay, and here I am again. Luckily I have a young baby face, and don't look anywhere near my age, so people can't tell. The RA has my birthday though, and avoids me like the plague. I assume he has problems telling someone ten years his senior what to do.

I really have no option but to keep to myself though. Part of it is by choice. I look at these people on my floor and see them as children. Because they are, I guess. The other half of the equation is that I'm terrified of people finding out how old I am. Imagine me bringing a sweet little frosh back to my room, porking her, and then her finding out that I was born during the Reagan administration. That's a can of worms I don't want to come within ten feet of opening.

But the best advice I can give you, is to GO TO CLASS. I don't give a shit if you don't feel well, if you didn't do the homework, if you're hungover or high (or both), if it's too cold, too hot, you don't have any clean clothes, or any other excuse you can muster. Get your ass out of bed and go. If you start skipping classes, I guarantee you that you will start sliding down a slippery slope that bottoms out at some really bad shit.

 

[Aristophanes]

In my first year of university my neighbour in my halls of residence, Matt, (dorms for our American kiwis - everyone has their own room) was a chap that could be described as an exceptional Dennis Reynolds in the way he behaved. He had the ego, the insecurity, and more importantly was a a creep, a womaniser and a liar - it is these last three things that would get him into trouble and lead to his humiliation at the hands of his ex-girlfriend later on. Matt, like Dennis came from a privileged background, and was (and still is) supported by his rich parents.

This all begins on my first night at university, where we all gathered in the kitchen in order for everyone to get acquainted with one another and have a few drinks. Right off the bat Dennis would regale us with tales of his vast sexual exploits, with each story becoming more and more outlandish in nature. These ranged from him having supposed threesomes with the girls in his school, to apparently being seduced by dozens of older women in nightclubs - he wasn't a looker at all. We all knew these stories were bullshit of course, but it became funny to listen to them as we got more drunk.

Towards the end of the first week he meets a young lady with a creepy hand fetish (we nicknamed her Skeletor - but that's another story for another time) in the Fresher's Ball, and they begin dating. There was a catch to this relationship: Skeletor was a virgin, and her overbearing flatmate wanted to make sure that Matt wasn't going to touch Skeletor. A couple of months go by, and everything seems to be going well - that is until Matt goes full Dennis (frustrated that he can't get into Skeletor's panties) and begins to lie to everyone by claiming he had slept with both Skeletor and one of my female flatmates.

This is where the fun part of the story begins. Everyone was tired with Matt's constant bullshit at this point, and these lies pushed us all over the edge. A beautiful revenge plan was hatched - our flat would put his cutlery in a large bowl filled with water, and put it in the freezer. Skeletor and her friend went and burnt his favourite hoodie, and presented the charred remains to him in a shoe box. I got to see the remains first as I ran into them at the front door of the building. And let me tell you all that it was glorious. For a minute straight I couldn't stop laughing.

Shortly afterwards he moved out, and I would see him on campus from time to time looking worse for wear.

TL;DR - I helped my ex-flatmate's ex-girlfriend burn his favourite hoodie.

He also used to lie about his supposed experiences with drugs, but that's another story for another time.

My advice would be to be honest with yourself and everyone around you. Don't do what Matt did and end up with your possessions being destroyed or frozen by irate flatmates and ex-girlfriends.