Colt Seidman / Colton Issac Seidman / Issaccumking / selfmadecolt / Laura Ellyn Seidman - Chronic suicidal homeless parasite, ungrateful leech and serial lease-bailer. Don't count on her to keep her side of bargain

  • Copy+pasting images with your clipboard now works again, ending the two-month reign of terror we endured of the prior notice.

How would Laura fuck up her new apartment?

  • Can't afford rent because of life-saving shit like cell phone and lyft

    Votes: 45 46.9%
  • Her neightbors won't use her pronouns

    Votes: 16 16.7%
  • The cafes and organic produces in the neighborhood are just not up to snuff

    Votes: 14 14.6%
  • The siren call of California proves too strong

    Votes: 19 19.8%
  • Others, please specify.

    Votes: 2 2.1%

  • Total voters
  • Poll closed .


Santa puts a needle in your sock
True & Honest Fan
Aug 24, 2014
Update April 2020: Colt Seidman has moved to Portland, Oregon and continues her lease-bailing habit. As of mid-May 2020 she is again looking for a roof and specifies that she be put on "some sort of lease". Let her sleep on your couch if you must, but DON'T PUT HER ON A LEASE - you will regret it.
Important note for the trans community and LGBTQ organizations: Colt Seidman has already earned a reputation among the trans communities for being a serial lease-bailer, leaving her lease-mates high and dry, scrambling to cover her share of rent, and for being a scammer who will kick someone who just paid for her groceries -- during the covid-19 epidemic no less -- out of a support group. Don't say Kiwi Farms never do anything for trans people: we gather intel on shitheels so you don't have to.​

This is her recent photo (May 2020)
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Colton Issac Seidman is a woman (previously Laura Ellyn Seidman, legally changed to the present name in 2014 -- Thanks @zedkissed60 for the info.) who identifies as trans man/non-binary (preferred pronoun: they/them). She was first discovered as a fling of Richard "Terra" "Buffalo Bill" Jones:


Pre-transition pics:
IMG_1251.JPG IMG_1252.JPG IMG_1253.JPG

V.s. how she looks now:
These are some real bitch tits.

She doesn't wear binders (at least not in summer), citing severe back pain, but if you stare at her tits, you're "fetishizing" her!



Some early history (courtesy of @Short)
In mid-late 2013, before she transitioned, Laura had a pregnancy and an abortion (she claimed she didn't discover it until she was 6 months pregnant, but the ultrasound picture doesn't look like it). Originally she planned to have her roommate adopt the baby but then she discovered the roommate to be "super toxic".

Weeks after her abortion, she began identifying as male and started on Androgel.

Admittedly, trans men are a rarity among the Rat Kings, but Colt shares with her fellow Rats all the charactistic traits. She is unemployed, on tard bucks, and is resentful of other people's success:


She claims to have borderline personality disorder (who doesn't?), is chronically suicidal and checks in and out of the Illinois Masonic Medical Center (a trans-friendly place according to her) like a hostel.



Colt's Great Housing Adventure
Colt is perpetually in search for a place to live. She contacted the YMCA in Chicago and was promptly allocated a nice apartment:



But she balked at the idea of having to shower with the boys, so back on the street she went.




June 2018: California Dreaming

At long last, in late June 2018, Laura found a place. But of course fate dealt a rough hand on her. Just before that, Laura found money within her extremely tight budget to visit San Francisco, by plane, for her birthday. That vacation, lasting a mere 48 hours, changed her perspective. When she was back in Chicago, she found everything insufferable: people spat on her for no reason; the LGBT services have been transphobic, the works. If only she could live in that LGBT wonderland called San Francisco! Ever since, hardly a week goes by without her pining for California.

July 2018. A (cis?) lesbian couple in Fair Oaks, California promised to take her in. Laura booked the plane immediately -- only to chicken out on the very day before departure claiming that she had, out of the blue, seen "too many red flags", dragging her hosts' reputation through the mud. Anyone who plans to offer "Colt Seidman" help should keep this in mind.

After California, her next Shangri-La is Portland, Oregon, having been drawn to an on-line therapist who seems agreeable to her (for the moment at least). As of October 2018 she says she had the housing matter sorted out (very unlikely as subsidized housing in Portland have waiting lists measuring in years) and will be moving there "in a few months". Let's see how this would pan out.

Incidentally Laura's desire to move to another state is not new. As recently as November 2017 she had wished to move to and stay in Texas.

The Misadventure of a Borderline Case
(Special thanks to @Venus and @Crunchy Leaf for Laura's reviews of health services)

Laura claims to have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). True, self-diagnosis is de rigueur among Rat Kings and usually doesn't mean anything. But, judging from Laura's behavior, her case is likely genuine. She demands affection at odd moments, threatens suicide every few days, and has been taking advantage of youth psychological services. Now 25 and having aged out of youth services, she is in a difficult position because she sure isn't going to pay (or exchange volunteer service) for what she feels entitled for fee.

You'd think Laura must be very thankful for the free psychological services she received. You are only half right. A characteristic symptom of BPD is "splitting" -- an absolute, black-and-white, angel-and-demon way of seeing the world. Everything is either the best ever is, or is the work of Satan, and the opinions can flip at the drop of a hat. Laura's current concept of San Francisco is typical of the "angel" phase of thinking. Regarding health services, the same thinking pattern applies, with the "demons" outnumbering "angels". The only health service that (so far) had earned unadulterated praise is Illonis Masonic (which allowed her to check in freely during her frequent suicidal crises). The demons are too many to count, including

Somewhat ambivalent but definitely on the Dark Side are Howard Brown and Halstead. One wonders why she missed free therapy sessions at Halstead if she finds them "extremely toxic and transphobic". In August 2018, Laura wished to visit Halstead one last time "to say goodbye". She was rebuffed by the staff who noted that she has aged out of their service. She vented her spleen on everyone who would listen, and ended up writing a long tract counting the way Halstead had "mistreated" her.

Laura in 2019: Mastectomy and Non-Binary Identity.
2019 was spent moving from one State to another. She seems unable to settle in one place for longer than 3 months, and in one instance she bailed out (or was kicked out) in 6 days. Equally amazing is her ability to have new homes lined up for her; it looks as if charitable organizations never compare notes. As of September she was back in Chicago, has been accepted by a housing assistance program for Jewish youths, and turned down said program in favor of getting $1000 rent money a month from some LGBT group.

In early July, she underwent double mastectomy as part of her gender transformation. But, typical of a borderline case and especially typical of Laura, the euphoria died soon. In late September she announced she was no longer a trans man, but a "non-binary" who prefer they/them pronouns. Her case should be a clarion call of those who advocate surgical gender transformations of the mentally ill. Many of these people, like Laura, has no concept of self whatsoever. They cannot talk meaningfully of "self-identity" and whatever they claim must not be taken at face value. Their "gender-identities" are unstable and easily reversible, but the result of surgery lasts for ever.

Miscellaneous shit
It surprises nobody that Laura had no success with school, having dropped out of high school without getting a GED. But it is totally not her fault you see: it is the education system's fault for not catering to "neurodivergent folx". She claims she couldn't thrive under traditional classes, perferring one-to-one tuition or on-line classes, but when asked why didn't she take on-line classes, she said they were more trouble than they were worth.

Laura fancies herself as an LGBT advocate; the only jobs she ever had were menial labors at the likes of Dollar Tree Stores and Hallmark Cards (archived as screenshot as both Wayback and fuck up), each job lasted mere months. (which makes her Twitter handle, selfmadecolt, ironic). Between 2017-18, she has short stints as a Postmate deliveryman and then as an Amazon packager. In mid-2018, she signs up on Rover to be a pet sitter. She liberally posts pictures and descriptions of the homes that hire her on social media. This is prohibited by Rover and can easily get her in trouble.

Some earlier employment info courtesy of @zedkissed60 (archive). The pattern of employment was even worse when she was younger -- multiple odd jobs each lasting no more than two months.

As she was pushing 25, she tried to enlist the help of Job Corps (25 is the upper age limit for applicants):


Even though she knows a cafe owner nearby who is hiring, working there is apparently beneath her -- she'd rather be someone's "reference":

Colt is addicted to mobile phone (c.f. Richard Jones, who posted on Twitter during his dad's funeral) and is very defensive of her phone habits:


So Colt claims her texting/browsing habits is literally essential to her survival. You see this type of rationalization very often among Rat Kings: they don't do things because they want to; it is always some mysterious outside force. Phil (ADF) claims he must keep getting tattoos to stave off suicidal thoughts; Zinnia Jones claims he has "medical reasons" to wear women clothes.


Like most Rats, Colt has been "traumatized" by religion, having been involuntarily incarcerated in a "transphobic" Catholic hospital -- a well-rehearsed story of these type of people.

Like a good SJW, she wields SJW lingo like a pro in her quest for ass pats:


She has a sweetheart (at least last August), apparently another FtM and suffers from addiction of some kind so may well be another lolcow.

Oh, if you don't realize already, she is a e-begger with accounts from at least 2 e-begging sites. (archive: 1,2.)

DOB June 17, 1993

Social media.

UPDATE Jan 2021: We have discovered her PornHub, under the username Issaccumking. Kiwi Farms captured some of her porn in late May 2021 but the profile itself might be gone.
Her Facebook.
Her Instagram.
Her Twitter. (Not updated since 2016) profile (very old) (archive)

A bunch of old social media links from her Laura days, some defunct. (Thanks @zedkissed60 ): (archive) (archive) (archive)

Archives of two of her deleted tumblr pages:


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True & Honest Fan
Sep 21, 2014
A lot of her posts are of the "have I mentioned in the last 10 minutes that I'm mentally ill and homeless" variety.

Her 25th birthday is next month.


Her relationship with her mother seems to be strained by her instability.


Nobody even called this response out for stereotyping gender roles.


In response to a suggestion that she move after she'd whined about the "lack of resources" in Chicago.


Her FB friends list includes Greta and Nina and their orbiters.

Did I mention she's unstable?

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Mama, nobody sends you a turd and expects to live.
True & Honest Fan
Jun 13, 2016
It’s amazing how troons abuse the “Im suicidal” to vacation in psych wards, when they really mean “someone take care of me” and I need a place to crash. Seriously they act like a bunch of two year olds that don’t have the faintest concept of being self-sufficient and think the world should stop to attend to their comfort.

I do wonder if Colt will ever regret turning into a fat ugly man. I’m sure she was just as bad as a woman but if your plan in life is to be a welfare leech and charity case you at least get more sympathy and resources as a woman. Unlike doing HRT as a MTF, taking testosterone as a FTM causes changes that can never be reversed. There’s no going back from that beard, body hair and voice change.

Quite a few of our troons seem to do HRT due to various mental illnesses not because of gender dysphoria. If the trans women troons change their mind before the chop they can go back to living as men w/o a great deal of difficulty, but that’s not the case for trans men.

break these cuffs

Nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli
True & Honest Fan
Aug 25, 2017
Like most Rats, Colt has been "traumatized" by religion, having been involuntarily incarcerated in a "transphobic" Catholic hospital -- a well-rehearsed story of these type of people.
"I was a crazy enough bitch that someone got me committed on an involuntary psych hold." Probably the mother given that she doesn't want to see Laura until she is stable and the situation is a "trigger" for suicidal thoughts.

edit. Nevermind, I just read the gofundme. It was her caseworker that did it earlier this year. So she got put on a hold because she was a suicidal, but it was all just a misunderstanding. She isn't crazy and this was wrong to do by he caseworker. But, when her mother cancels a trip because Laura isn't stable, when she totes is, that is enough to make her suicidal and check herself in? This is like the tranny PM who realized you can't just use mental illness as an excuse because people will question your ability to do your job if you keep fucking up from being a headcase. They're only crazy when it suits them and how it suits them.

It rare to see a ftm in the Ratking, so this is one to watch. I do wonder if it's the testosterone that cause the mood swings or if Colt just crazy in general.
Laura had a friend, Mykell Shih Miller, looking at apartments while she was on holiday. Of course googling that name turned up comments on articles about ftm issues. If Laura works out, we might get another one!
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True & Honest Fan
Sep 21, 2014
If your psychiatrist has to limit your use of mobile phone, you have a problem.

It's unusual for psych wards to allow mobile phone use. Even visitors usually aren't permitted to take mobile phones into a psych ward. They don't want people taking photos/video of the patients and putting it online.

It's possible she's in a short stay unit. They're usually part of the emergency department and sometimes have more relaxed rules.

break these cuffs

Nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli
True & Honest Fan
Aug 25, 2017
Notice how she doesn't ask to crash on her friends' couch directly, but rather, asks that they take the initiative to offer it to her. Seems kind of passive aggressive.
She did the same with her birthday. She didn't set a time and a bar to go to or whatever. She asked everyone to get in touch with her.


Santa puts a needle in your sock
True & Honest Fan
Aug 24, 2014
"The Crib" is an LGBT shelter. It is likely loaded with cases exactly like Laura (well, except they are mostly fake women rather than fake men). They have only 21 mattresses and have to draw lots each night to see who can stay. If Laura can threaten suicide in an attempt to get ahead, so can other trannies.

And they only serve people aged 18-24; Laura will soon be a non-issue to them.

But Laura is lucky that she has not run out of places to turn to.

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Santa puts a needle in your sock
True & Honest Fan
Aug 24, 2014
@Positron This is good, all you need is more thorough archiving and if you can, location info.
I've added some archives to her old twitter accounts. Unfortunately I can't find the way to archive individual Facebook posts (most of her activities are on Facebook) or individual GoFundMe updates, so screenshots must suffice.

Mister Hitler
Feb 18, 2018
How can you be asking people for donations while you go out of your way to avoid getting a job? He should be lucky that cafe owner is looking for help, yet he doesn't even seem to consider it an option. It'll never cease to amaze me how these people would rather be poor and running out of options than work a few hours a day. It fucking baffles me.

This is the state of white youth.

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