Colt Seidman / Colton Issac Seidman / Issaccumking / selfmadecolt / Laura Ellyn Seidman - Chronic suicidal homeless parasite, ungrateful leech and serial lease-bailer. Don't count on her to keep her side of bargain

[sperginity]

View attachment 543302 View attachment 543303 View attachment 543304 The GED is too hard and no one will just give me a pass anymore

"I was told by someone who earns money teaching GED classes that it's really super necessary to take GED classes!" I bet all the GED prep books say the same thing about needing to buy GED prep books for the super hard high school equivalency test. god damn people are gullible.

 

[Roger Whore]

View attachment 543302 View attachment 543303 View attachment 543304 The GED is too hard and no one will just give me a pass anymore

100% not true. They have IEP’s for that sort of thing aka individual education programs for people like her who are retarded and REEEEEEE at anything too hard.

 

[Andrew Neiman]

Oh, update, she's a poet now.
https://imgur.com/0zzYHnW

Let's take a look at this poem "BP-DO."

They tell me I'm crazy
Like they are perfect themselves
They look at my brain and disregard all the pain
Emotional and angry like you'd never believe
Too much to handle is all those centered eyes wanna see.
You're not much better
In fact, you're worse than the pain
I'm lucky to be alive
To keep fighting your lies.

This is a pretty mediocre poem. It doesn't possess the audacity of "I am a Latina and I Live" (which you may remember as the "I AM A LATINA THAT HAS THOUGHT ABOUT SUICIDE/I AM A LATINA THAT HAS THOUGHT ABOUT SUICIDE" poem). It has a little tiny bit of rhythm and isn't extremely prosey.

The most awkward moments come when the author suddenly starts rhyming: "They look at my brain and disregard all the pain" is especially awkward because it has strong rhythm and a rhyme that stands out, but is sandwiched between non-rhyming utterly unrhythmic passages. It's painfully obvious that these uses of rhyme and something like meter are accidental.

It is possible to stick a bold rhyme in the middle of a partially non-rhyming poem and have it work. Look at this excerpt from T.S. Eliot's "Rhapsody on a Windy Night."

Half-past three,
The lamp sputtered,
The lamp muttered in the dark.

The lamp hummed:
"Regard the moon,
La lune ne garde aucune rancune,
She winks a feeble eye,
She smiles into corners.
She smoothes the hair of the grass.
The moon has lost her memory.

You can debate the purpose of the "moon"/"aucune rancune" couplet, but it's clear that it's intentional – that Eliot went with a boldly rhyming couplet in the midst of subtler or non-rhyming lines on purpose. You probably won't read "Rhapsody on a Windy Night" and come away thinking that Eliot just arbitrarily stuck a rhyme in when one came to mind and didn't use rhyming when he couldn't think of a good rhyme. This is what's wrong with "brain"/"pain" (and, to a lesser extent, "alive"/"lies"). It feels accidental, and makes the poem read like a hodgepodge that was spit out onto the page without much consideration.

There's also a weird dissonance between the more literary-sounding lines and lines that sound more "street," emulating beat poetry or hip hop. The abrasive, almost belligerent, "Too much to handle is all those centered eyes wanna see," which sounds very slangy, almost like hip hop, does not mesh well with the sing-songy "They look at my brain and disregard all the pain."

As with "I am a Latina and I Live," there's an excess of vague, abstract language. There isn't much here that brings a particular image or sensation to mind. I don't know about you, but "they look at my brain" and "centered eyes" are the only phrases that stimulate my mind's eye at all.

Look at a phrase like "emotional and angry like you'd never believe." It's vague and lifeless. Why not find some way to illustrate your anger, or to make it concrete? If you just want to say, "I am angry," and leave it at that, why write a poem at all? Look at the last four lines: "You're not much better/In fact, you're worse than the pain/I'm lucky to be alive/To keep fighting your lies." It's absolutely abstract and laden with cliches: "you're not much better," "lucky to be alive," etc.

 

[MW 002]

View attachment 543302 View attachment 543303 View attachment 543304 The GED is too hard and no one will just give me a pass anymore

Didn’t CoH offer GED courses that Colt could have easily taken before aging out of it, for free? He’ll, I thought Colt had already “graduated” from it since he went to a prom where he wore tacky a tranny flag as a cape.

I wonder what events led to Colt getting kicked out of his mother’s home that led to him not being able to finish high school, and if it occurred around the same time as the late term abortion.

I work with high school dropouts who were never asked for proof of their education, so there’s literally no fucking excuse to be this massive of a failure.

 

[Angry New Ager]

Holy shit, is she really this vain?

She's massively insecure and self-conscious, and just as massively self-absorbed. It's not really vanity; it's more that she's hyperalert to rejection cues, be they real or imagined (which is a classic Borderline trait), and overreacts.

So when she goes out in public, and people stare--as they're going to do, because she's so odd- and repulsive-looking, and it takes a minute to figure out just what the fuck is going on there--she immediately decides she's being judged and rejected (and, to be fair, she's not wrong in that). She's made herself into a freak, yet hates that she's perceived as one, and refuses to understand or accept that strangers on the street are going to gawk. As the center of the fucking universe, others are supposed to just accept her identity du jour without question, and know what she is, and thus it's an act of transphobic bigotry to stare.

ETA:

Let's take a look at this poem "BP-DO."

This is a pretty mediocre poem.

It's not even mediocre; it's shit.

Didn’t CoH offer GED courses that Colt could have easily taken before aging out of it, for free? He’ll, I thought Colt had already “graduated” from it since he went to a prom where he wore tacky a tranny flag as a cape.

I wonder what events led to Colt getting kicked out of his mother’s home that led to him not being able to finish high school, and if it occurred around the same time as the late term abortion.

I work with high school dropouts who were never asked for proof of their education, so there’s literally no fucking excuse to be this massive of a failure.

I don't believe the late-term abortion story, FWIW.

As for what led her to being kicked out of her mom's house--I mean just look at her behavior and attitudes in this thread. She's a complete parasite, who feels entitled to what she wants, and if you don't give it to her, you're the bad guy. There's no negotiating with her; everything is black-and-white; Colt is always, always right.

My hunch is that Colt was a shitty student and a massive behavior problem while she was still attending school, and chose to drop out. She didn't have to drop out because her mom kicked her out; her mom likely kicked her out (in part) because Colt dropped out, refused to get a job, and expected her mom to keep taking care of her as always, while at the same time stirring up constant conflict.

I'm sure she took a couple of GED courses at CoH because they were free, and gave her a trans-friendly place to hang out when she was homeless, but did she even complete or pass them? I mean, let's face it: why would Colt even need a GED in the first place? It's not as if she has any intention of actually working. She has expressed absolutely no sincere desire to pursue any career path; she has virtually no interests beyond seeking attention, and getting others to expend resources on her. Thinking long-term is absolutely not her strong suit, nor is following through on anything she starts.

She's 25, and if she decided to apply for the sorts of low-level jobs she could actually get, she could easily lie on the application and say she'd finished high school. Walmart, McDonald's, or Subway aren't going to do a background check on her. If you're white, of average intelligence, and reasonably well-spoken, nobody's going to question your claim to be a high school graduate. But she has no intention to work at jobs like that, and uses her BPD as an excuse for why she can't, so why would she even bother going to the effort of earning a GED?

 

[Positron]

Laura demands one-on-one teaching, presumably because she can bend and manipulate her teacher without other students complaining:

Erin sounds like a well-intentioned person. Unfortunately she dares to offer practical advice, rather than the all-important asspats, so she is curtly brushed aside:

I bet someone held down "Nero Phoenix" and recorded her screams.

When Laura checks out a college's website, the thing that she is most excited about is... gender options!

 

[registereduser]

Erin sounds like a well-intentioned person. Unfortunately she dares to offer practical advice, rather than the all-important asspats, so she is curtly brushed aside:

I feel bad for anyone who tries to help Laura. She's just outright mean. "Here are some suggestions" "No! None of those work and nothing you say will ever work! Stop trying ~Thanks for the effort, but no thnx ~

And that other troontard is so self-centered. ~It's so hard for me to cope with my little sister going to school - sorry, s****l - because my trauma ~~
What the fucking hell.

 

[MW 002]

Laura demands one-on-one teaching, presumably because she can bend and manipulate her teacher without other students complaining:
View attachment 543417
View attachment 543436
Erin sounds like a well-intentioned person. Unfortunately she dares to offer practical advice, rather than the all-important asspats, so she is curtly brushed aside:
View attachment 543440


View attachment 543403
I bet someone held down "Nero Phoenix" and recorded her screams.

View attachment 543409

When Laura checks out a college's website, the thing that she is most excited about is... gender options!
View attachment 543441

Jesus, this is some pretty interesting insight into what the therapist probably had to deal with

 

[Andrew Neiman]

"Sch**l"? Really? How on earth could you be triggered by "school" but not by "uni" or "academically" or "teacher"?

Wasn't the historical Nero a murderer and rapist? Can't we get some asterisks up in there as well?

 

[Deadpool]

I want a PHD, but colleges say I have to go to school for like 8 years and pay tuition the entire time. Isn't there an Ivy league school that'll just give me one right now for free no questions asked?

 

[Positron]

"Sch**l"? Really? How on earth could you be triggered by "school" but not by "uni" or "academically" or "teacher"?

The cutest thing is that he just typed out "school" before realizing he ought to get triggered.

 

[Wallace]

She's massively insecure and self-conscious, and just as massively self-absorbed. It's not really vanity; it's more that she's hyperalert to rejection cues, be they real or imagined (which is a classic Borderline trait), and overreacts.

So when she goes out in public, and people stare--as they're going to do, because she's so odd- and repulsive-looking, and it takes a minute to figure out just what the fuck is going on there--she immediately decides she's being judged and rejected (and, to be fair, she's not wrong in that). She's made herself into a freak, yet hates that she's perceived as one, and refuses to understand or accept that strangers on the street are going to gawk. As the center of the fucking universe, others are supposed to just accept her identity du jour without question, and know what she is, and thus it's an act of transphobic bigotry to stare.

This is such an interesting combination of traits: hypersensitive to rejection, yet goes out of her way to cultivate an appearance and attitude that invites rejection. It makes me think that, deep down, she wants that rejection due to her poor self-esteem. It's a hell of a combination.

 

[Trasha Pay That A$$]

Laura demands one-on-one teaching, presumably because she can bend and manipulate her teacher without other students complaining:
View attachment 543417
View attachment 543436
Erin sounds like a well-intentioned person. Unfortunately she dares to offer practical advice, rather than the all-important asspats, so she is curtly brushed aside:
View attachment 543440


View attachment 543403
I bet someone held down "Nero Phoenix" and recorded her screams.

View attachment 543409

When Laura checks out a college's website, the thing that she is most excited about is... gender options!
View attachment 543441

Geez. This is all a pretense for asspats. Too much work to try to get accommodation? I agree it's odd she is even talking about a GED when she doesn't need one for anything, let alone being a leech on society. No one is going to call her school down in Georgia or whatever state she grew up in to make sure she graduated.

I want a PHD, but colleges say I have to go to school for like 8 years and pay tuition the entire time. Isn't there an Ivy league school that'll just give me one right now for free no questions asked?

Only if you're a celebrity and then you can get one of those honorary fancy pieces of paper for free.

 

[ExGuru]

I think Nero Phoenix may be a cow herself. Here's her Twitter for anyone interested: https://twitter.com/touchadafishy

 

[MG 620]

Null, please give Laura a Kiwi Farms University PhD.

 

[Angry New Ager]

I think Nero Phoenix may be a cow herself. Here's her Twitter for anyone interested: https://twitter.com/touchadafishy

She calls herself "Nero Phoenix." Totally a cow.

As further evidence:

It's good that she at least wants to exercise. Exercise will not help her lose weight if she continues to eat too goddamned much, but it has plenty of other benefits--such as releasing endorphins, and potentially alleviating symptoms of depression--that I would encourage her to take advantage of.

But holy fuck, how hard is it to cover the fucking mirror if it makes her that paralyzingly self-conscious?

 

[3rd Continuance]

That exchange between Erin and Laura is so revealing; it gives up the game to anyone giving it a moment of attention. Laura is completely uninterested in solutions to the problems she whines about, no matter how simple they are. She does not want a solution. She wants validation and gimmedats.

One of these days, shit is really going to hit the fan for her, and none of her excuses of trans- identity, borderline, or even fatphobia are going to work. And oh what a day that will be.

 

[Maggots on a Train v2]

Laura demands one-on-one teaching, presumably because she can bend and manipulate her teacher without other students complaining:
View attachment 543417
View attachment 543436
Erin sounds like a well-intentioned person. Unfortunately she dares to offer practical advice, rather than the all-important asspats, so she is curtly brushed aside:
View attachment 543440


View attachment 543403
I bet someone held down "Nero Phoenix" and recorded her screams.

View attachment 543409

When Laura checks out a college's website, the thing that she is most excited about is... gender options!
View attachment 543441

Thing that is too much work for Colt to deal with:

• Getting a doctor's note, and talking to a community college desk clerk for a few minutes.

Thing that is not too much for somebody else to do for Colt:

• Being a 1-on-1 GED instructor, and somebody else has to pay for it for Colt.

 

[UselessRubberKeyboard]

Not everyone can pass a GED? No shit. It's designed to prove you've achieved a specific academic level. If you can't achieve that level, you don't pass the GED. If you 'tried your hardest' and you still can't pass the GED, you're too stupid to get the GED. How is this too difficult to understand? A qualification is proof of a level of understanding, it's not given out like a social security number when you hit 16 just because you exist.

But of course, Laura wants a GED to be given to her because she's the most oppressed and deserves one for just existing.

 

[Positron]

But her "activism" is totally valid because it is inclusive only of herself.

Sometimes a post is so jaw-dropping that no comment is possible.