COME SHOPPING WITH ME, HUGE MAKEUP HAUL, HALLOWEEN 2019 11/4/2019 - Amber was a fat Hermione for Halloween

SAVE TWINKIE!

True & Honest Fan
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Late, and really obvious, but Dana loves makeup and has even made makeup videos on her channel and posted looks on her instagram. Not that she's good or whatever but it is something she's interested in (calling it a passion would be a stretch).

That could be another reason why all of a sudden Amberlynn LOVES MAKEUP I NEED MAKEUP MORE MAKEUP
Destiny notice me please
 

GargoyleGorl

Token SJW
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Thinking about amber's makeup binge... she acts like it's a new thing, but wasn't she saying in a video few months ago (maybe around the time of her makeup packaging trash scrapbooking) how proud she was of her makeup collection? She showed a makeup case, it was hard-sided and industrial looking (styled like what you see roadies loading onto stages before concerts), it must have been about 3ft with drawers and shelves that folded out. It was FULL of product and she was just SO proud of how much she collected.

Then she bought at least half as much when she went shopping with D&D, because she ONLY JUST RECENTLY got into makeup and doesn't have enough. I'm sure a lot of that was flexing (but they were probably laughing at what a fool she is to waste money like that). Not to mention she gets two (or is it three?) monthly makeup subscription boxes? Makeup (like her stinky perfume) goes bad. She probably won't notice the odor, but lip gloss and mascara get gross especially quickly. Those sparkly makeup brushes might look pretty (tacky), but the cheap fiber is going to shed all over her face every time she uses a brush.

She's trying to keep up with "all the makeup youtubers that have so much makeup" but does she not realize that they have massive collections because every PR company on earth is sending them stuff, and the ones that don't, they're reaching out to asking for free shit in return for promotion.
She got that big cheap box of cheap shit makeup last Christmas from Becky's impoverished family who hates her. Within weeks she was talking about replacing it because it was cheap, and you know our gorl doesn't tolerate crap. Right?

But yeah. She says "makeup has become an art form" as though the last... oh, sixty years or so didn't happen and Jeffree Star is the first person to call himself a makeup artist. Such innovation, there. But Shane is shthooo inspiring! He's created... makeup... as like... an artform! Shane notice me please.

And as usual, she's full of shit since she's been rocking those crooked wings for years and been dainty and girly for even longer. That said, at least she's finally moved past that 20 year old glitter that was giving her styes.
 

giga melt

vibe check
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She has this obssession with being feminine and refuses to cut her hair because of that. What gets me is she said that infamous "short hair makes your face look rounder and fatter" remark but then she has her hair up 24/7 with a freakishly round wide face soooo whats the diffrence? Just fucking cut it shoulder Length and dye/curl it if your scared someone will consider you masculine or somthing my god.

Part of me thinks she wont cut it because dusty begged her not to when they were together 😏
Amber couldn't lift her arms to hold a curling iron for 2 seconds.

What's the weight limit on hair dresser (or whatever they're called now) chairs? Do hair dressers make house calls?
She would have to go to a walk in salon like at Walmart that doesn't often refuse people. Amber wouldn't fit in any salon chair or in a sink chair, or be able to lean back to wash her hair. Her hair is long as fuck, at least 12+inches passed shoulder length so there would be an upcharge for both that and hopefully the stylist would have the balls to add more for things like her spilling out all over the place, the inability to pump the salon chair up to work on her hair, etc etc.

I've been to hair school and work in a salon and anyone close to Amber's size who might come in would be subject to things like having to bend forward into the shampoo bowl and standing for an ample amount of time while her ends are being cut (because it's too long and also as above pumping the chair up would be almost impossible.)

I don't think Amber would be able to get through an hour or two in a salon without being so uncomfortable and embarrassed she wouldn't even vlog.
 

Situation Type Deal Gorl

Fuck your feelings, nancypants
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Amber couldn't lift her arms to hold a curling iron for 2 seconds.



She would have to go to a walk in salon like at Walmart that doesn't often refuse people. Amber wouldn't fit in any salon chair or in a sink chair, or be able to lean back to wash her hair. Her hair is long as fuck, at least 12+inches passed shoulder length so there would be an upcharge for both that and hopefully the stylist would have the balls to add more for things like her spilling out all over the place, the inability to pump the salon chair up to work on her hair, etc etc.

I've been to hair school and work in a salon and anyone close to Amber's size who might come in would be subject to things like having to bend forward into the shampoo bowl and standing for an ample amount of time while her ends are being cut (because it's too long and also as above pumping the chair up would be almost impossible.)

I don't think Amber would be able to get through an hour or two in a salon without being so uncomfortable and embarrassed she wouldn't even vlog.
Ugh, I can just picture her rolling up and asking someone to wash/style her greasy af hair. It gives me the heebs.
 

SAVE TWINKIE!

True & Honest Fan
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I meeeean, you can get your hair cut without having it shampooed.

I'm sure that's what happened when she had it cut a bit and got that awful ombre. She'd have Becky wash her hair at home and then just go into wommart and have some of it hacked off, it would take no time at all. Also I agree with whoever it was earlier that said there are tons of hairstylists that do freelance from home or will come to your home. They're probably not licensed(?) or particularly talented but who cares.

She doesn't want to cut it, though, so this is moot. It's a comfort thing for her. That hair is the upper-half equivalent of the blanket she claims to always have on her laaayyygs. She says she puts a blanket on her laayyygs even in other people's houses.
 

Pog Mathoin

kiwifarms.net
Late, and really obvious, but Dana loves makeup and has even made makeup videos on her channel and posted looks on her instagram. Not that she's good or whatever but it is something she's interested in (calling it a passion would be a stretch).

That could be another reason why all of a sudden Amberlynn LOVES MAKEUP I NEED MAKEUP MORE MAKEUP
Destiny notice me please
100% agree with this. Amberlynn copies people around her all the time because she has no concept of self-identity. Dana is into makeup so all of a sudden "make-up is actually ART' , Becky is into Harry Potter, so Amberlynn is now a HP fan. It's a constant theme with her.
 

Gorlax

kiwifarms.net
She doesn't want to cut it, though, so this is moot. It's a comfort thing for her. That hair is the upper-half equivalent of the blanket she claims to always have on her laaayyygs. She says she puts a blanket on her laayyygs even in other people's houses.
That’s the kind of bitch that scares me the most, the one who won’t cut or even hardly take care of their hair because it’s their security blankie. If she’s not even willing to make the “sacrifice” of getting her damn hair cut even by just a few inches, there’s no way she could commit to weight loss.
 

gay cowboy

y'all dun stirred the pot.
kiwifarms.net
Imagine if all those fats got food poisoning because of E-coli under Al's nails (and probably Dana's too) and from leaving the food out at room temperature for 12 hours .

The more you put in the more will come out:O
If she gets food poisoning she may actually lose some weight and for the first time since Krystal era she'd have a day or two where she isn't doublefisting Reece's cups or ramen into her feeding hole. :optimistic:
 

eterna

Planet Earth is blue And there's nothing I can do
kiwifarms.net
If she gets food poisoning she may actually lose some weight and for the first time since Krystal era she'd have a day or two where she isn't doublefisting Reece's cups or ramen into her feeding hole. :optimistic:
If she gets a really bad case of food poisoning that it puts her down for a few days on pillow mountain and disables her from eating but not from hurriedly hobbling to the bathroom to vomit and shit (or yelling at Becky to bring a bucket) then she totally could lose a few lbs. She'd make up for it as soon as she felt better though.

It's sad when a short term viable option for someone to actually lose weight is for them to get sick. Jesus Christ, Amber. Fix yourself.

*edited for re*tarded spelling
 
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Cuck Duck

Ducky Mo Ducky Momo, he's your very best friend!
kiwifarms.net
Is that black appliance a goddamn mini fridge? A freezer chest? They seriously cannot fit all their food in a family sized refrigerator?
I don't think that's for food... :fapcup: (pretend that's beer and not fanta with actual tard cum)
I may have been ninja'd but whatever
 

DJAndyMD

kiwifarms.net
100% agree with this. Amberlynn copies people around her all the time because she has no concept of self-identity. Dana is into makeup so all of a sudden "make-up is actually ART' , Becky is into Harry Potter, so Amberlynn is now a HP fan. It's a constant theme with her.
Let’s get her a good friend obsessed with working out and dieting if she is going to copycat everyone else’s interests.
 

SAVE TWINKIE!

True & Honest Fan
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Let’s get her a good friend obsessed with working out and dieting if she is going to copycat everyone else’s interests.
It's too bad nobody like that would want to be friends with the toxic butterbeast Amberlynn. She would only drag them down and if she found she were unable to do so she'd lose all interest in the relationship.
 

giga melt

vibe check
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I meeeean, you can get your hair cut without having it shampooed.

I'm sure that's what happened when she had it cut a bit and got that awful ombre.
It's definitely why she hasn't gotten it redone/fixed. She knows she's too fat to shampoo, which they'd have to if she's getting color/lightener. I doubt Amber would be able to lean over a shampoo bowl face first without losing her breath right away.
 

ADHD

True & Honest Fan
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That’s the kind of bitch that scares me the most, the one who won’t cut or even hardly take care of their hair because it’s their security blankie. If she’s not even willing to make the “sacrifice” of getting her damn hair cut even by just a few inches, there’s no way she could commit to weight loss.
She doesn't need to cut it if she doesn't want to. She's already starting to get traction allopecia from keeping her hair pulled tight in that bun, and I for one look forward to see how she'll handle it once she gets visible bald spots showing like Chantal.

It's going to look like shit whether she cuts it or not. Her arms are still going to be too heavy for her to lift to wash it, even if she cut it Slaton short.
 
She doesn't need to cut it if she doesn't want to. She's already starting to get traction allopecia from keeping her hair pulled tight in that bun, and I for one look forward to see how she'll handle it once she gets visible bald spots showing like Chantal.
It really shows how thin Hamber’s hair is when that length only makes a mid-size plop on top of her head.

She needs to chop off all the fried, brassy blonde (her hair will look so much thicker down!), get a bottle of Olaplex #3 from Sephora to treat from root to tip, and deep condition what’s left with a good, actual high end hair mask like Living Proof Restore or Kerastase Resistance or Briogeo Don’t Despair, Repair! that won’t load her hair with silicones and waxes. Then get herself some hair, skin, and nail vitamins (like Hum, Sugar Bear Hair or Tati’s version, like her favorite YouTubers) because her diet is shit and lacking good sources of B vitamins.

But hair care is part of self care, and we know she’s severely lacking in that department...
 

ADHD

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
It really shows how thin Hamber’s hair is when that length only makes a mid-size plop on top of her head.

She needs to chop off all the fried, brassy blonde (her hair will look so much thicker down!), get a bottle of Olaplex #3 from Sephora to treat from root to tip, and deep condition what’s left with a good, actual high end hair mask like Living Proof Restore or Kerastase Resistance or Briogeo Don’t Despair, Repair! that won’t load her hair with silicones and waxes. Then get herself some hair, skin, and nail vitamins (like Hum, Sugar Bear Hair or Tati’s version, like her favorite YouTubers) because her diet is shit and lacking good sources of B vitamins.

But hair care is part of self care, and we know she’s severely lacking in that department...
She should also get her thyroid checked, since low thyroid can cause hair loss.

And it would require actually admitting she isn’t healthy, just big.
She'd have to admit that to herself, but I'm pretty sure she already knows that's not true. She could go get it checked and just keep it to herself if she wanted, it's not like we could find out unless she tells us.
 
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She should also get her thyroid checked, since low thyroid can cause hair loss.
But that doesn’t fuel her gross compulsion to buy all the things.

And it would require actually admitting she isn’t healthy, just big. I’m sure if she actually would’ve had her bloodwork done (which is likely why she didn’t go back to see the weight loss surgeon or any other doctor...), they would have picked up on that right away.
 

SituationTypeThing

kiwifarms.net
She should also get her thyroid checked, since low thyroid can cause hair loss.


She'd have to admit that to herself, but I'm pretty sure she already knows that's not true. She could go get it checked and just keep it to herself if she wanted, it's not like we could find out unless she tells us.
If she was going to a worthwhile psychiatrist, they would have checked her thyroid, because mood stabilizers aren't going to be as effective if hypothyroidism is working against them. Any other doctor isn't going to just test her thyroid, they're going to test her A1C too. Booboo would get an rx for synthroid with a side of metformin and insulin. There's no way her a1c is under double digits.
 
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