Cook & eat with me |weight watchers in 1 week -

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She's doing memberships on her channel now. Taking grifting lessons from her bestie, Chantal:

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Diet Coke 4 Life

When I peek, it is in the line of duty.
Sorry this took so long to get up. My current location's WiFi decided that AL is a plague upon society and clonked out repeatedly while I was trying to watch her bullshit. Took multiple attempts to get through this.

Only $7.99 for this spoiler!

0:00 We open right up into the begging. Nice. Amber be desperate, and sounds so lacking in energy it’s hilarious. I read stress and sorrow in her voice that she’s not ridin’ high on the hog and she’s been usurped as Queen Fatty by Chantal.

0:15 I want to reach through the screen and slap her, because she has to clarify that “Seven Ninety Nine” is “that’s Seven dollars and Ninety Nine cents.” Because she figures the average viewer is just as if not more exceptional than herself. Yes.

0:29 “Sometimes it might be chaotic, sometimes it might be fun, sometimes there may be tears from laughs, some tea, some drama, some Becky, some fur babies” aka: It’ll be just like any other video she’s ever done, except this’ll be a live, so it’ll be like her YouNows of the past where she fucks around on her phone and then looks at the screen every now and again to see if there’s any questions to answer or some shit.

0:55 Fuck, I was hoping we wouldn’t have the retarded ‘try again’ intro.

1:08 Opens on a gray hand towel with cartoon cats on it that’s hanging off the fridge handle. She got it from Fred Meyers, and then just goes on for her food haul. Because it’s time to get something to eat. I’m noticing a lack of ‘I haven’t eaten all day!’ C’mon gorl, you’re slippin’.

1:20 Das foods: We have chicken sausage (spinach and feta cheese enhanced with 70% less fat) - 153 calories per link, then broccoli (piggo knocks over water bottles moving the huge gallon-sized ziplock with the salami stick in it, but doesn’t bother straightening anything up). Lemme just say the complete lack of organization in her fridge and the fact that stuff is simply stacked on top of other stuff is making me twitch.

1:34 Oh, perhaps the rare treat of a cooking video? She’s getting a cutting board out. Though I am fully prepared to be disappointed. I’m awaiting the jump cuts.

1:52 Cutting… the packaging… for the chicken sausage. Around each fucking link. What the fuck. Through the label and everything. Instead of, I dunno, just peeling the fucking thing open like it’s designed. But she’s so QuIrKy. And her fear of touching raw shit’s obviously not there, because she yanks the sausages out of their mangled package and throws ‘em directly onto the counter that she didn’t bother filming herself cleaning (oh, and she’s babbling about not vlogging today because she’s been buseeeee or some shit, but I’m busy twitching over her cooking as always. Once the sausages are free, you can clearly see that she sliced into the sides of two of them because she couldn’t see where she was cutting due to the fucking label of the package blocking her view of the links within.

1:58 Now she’s on about how she’s not wearing a bra as she continues to mangle chicken sausage. Such quality content! Gotta love she’s using the knife she used to slice through the plastic casing that everyone and their brother handled to now cut into her chicken. And you know she didn’t wash it between cuttings. But a side note - a full out chef’s knife to cut some pre-cooked limp sausages? Really? Could’ve done this with a butter knife ffs. She describes that she’s cutting the sausages in half as she does just that using a sawing motion on a non-serrated, sharp chef’s knife that’s already gone through them. Guess now I understand why her cutting board is so fucking scored. Yes. And then she says “I’m gonna cut them in half - then cut the half in half.” Dumbass, just say you’re quartering the sausages. OH WAIT. I forgot - that might be too much for our 4 halves instead of 2 sandwiches gorl.

2:20 For WW it’s 11 points. I’ll say outright it’s 612 calories just for the sausages. Not counting her seasoning Which she’s using pinched onion, onion powder, garlic salt and ground black peppercorn. Which is as follows for 1 tbsp: 17, 24, 32 and 24. Unfortunately there’s no way to tell how much seasoneeen she put in.

2:55 Well, she doesn’t show how she finishes it up, but there’s about 1.5-2 cups of broccoli mixed in there it seems for an additional 62 calories. She shows it off for the camera with an ‘uhh’ sound that makes me want to pull my ears off and throw them away. Goes to try it without Tapatio, then professes she’s going to try it with. Says it’s ‘sooo good’ and then does a little retard dance.

3:30 Dousing her food with hot sauce now. And then talks about how she’s said ‘day 1’ in both of her last videos, and says it yet again. Because she can’t be consistent or stick with anything. Confesses to being an absolute (greasy, disgusting, despicable and nasty stank-ass) bitch.

4:10 Oh, we’ve got the water signaling again! She says she’s going to drink 3 Deer Park bottles of water a day. She says all she’s been drinking is diet soda.

4:45 She says she’s signed up for Weight Watchers again. Because it’s worked so well all the past times she’s done it. And I’m flabbergasted not by the fact that she’s done that or that she says that this time upon signing up things were different, I’m staring at the fucking sheen of her hair. It’s like sunlight skipping off a tar pit. Holy shit.

5:20 She’s happy that they have coaching online instead of going to meetings. Of course, because she won’t be in front of others to be disgusting.

5:48 She’s been placed on the ‘Green’ plan, which has less zero-point foods. Hahahahahah! The program identified that she abuses zero point foods and is a useless fuck when it comes to calorie counting. She says she’s grateful. Did she clap like she did when the doctor told her that she’s going to die?

6:30 Oh wait. Low starch veggies and fruits are zero points. Fucking fruits. Yikes. Therein lies the flaw for me. At least our delightful planetoid here hates fruit even though they ‘taste like candy’ to her, so she won’t be abusing that.

6:50 HOLY FUCKBARRELS. She’s allotted 90 points a day. Holy shit. Then she blathers that she’s a WW failure because she always feels that she’s not getting enough food or shit. She admits that it’s not the program’s fault that she sucks, it’s because she sucks.

7:25 She puts her dumb starting weight up. 543.8. She says she doesn’t feel like doing math to figure out how many pounds she’s lost since her last weigh in. What’s funny is that you can see her holding the counter for a brief second before she focuses the camera on the scale readout.

8:15 Blathers on about how she’s going to try and not weigh herself constantly.

8:30 Professes that she’s going to finish her meal (and that’s different from the norm how, AL? We never buy your stupid ‘I can’t finish this’ lies, you know) and then she’s going to watch the H3 After Dark podcast. Whatever. Nobody cares. Just stuff your face, fatty.

8:43 FORGOT TO END THE VLOG. Dumb placard going into her ear-raping outtro.

TL,DW: Drinking happened a lot while watching this bullshit attempt to load. Then there was the struggle to edit this to make it almost intelligible. Video’s dumb - promises at one point to be a cook with me video but fails to deliver the goods like an impotent loser. Don’t bother.
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Local Moderator
True & Honest Fan
She's doing memberships on her channel now. Taking grifting lessons from her bestie, Chantal:

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Tuesdays and Thursday lives, huh? I will be shocked if she makes it a whole month doing that.

On a related note: I look forward to the massive mountains of salt we will get when people pay for this and then realize that Amber still isn't going to stick to a schedule, even one of her own making.
She's allowed to get 90 something points.
There's something awfully familiar about that number. Time to check what the "starting weight" was that she used the last time she had that point allotment.

DefCon Dumb

Confronter of Cryptoid Cuntiness
True & Honest Fan
"Been kinda busy... and such"... contemplating your several navels?

That would be a great tattoo to get with Meth Mom: "Day One"

Of course she'd live WW asking her questions... she gets to talk about me, Me, ME!!!

Everything should have points - "free" foods is bullsht, unless we're talking lettuce or celery.

90 points? Not familiar with their programs but isn't that a lot? She'd still playing games with her weight when it comes to her shooper high starting weight. No, you use the weight on Day 1.

She, as usual, has no interest in losing anything... she's scrambling for content.

Last thing - does she EVER plan on washing her hair?

Her knife skills always make my anxiety sky rocket. I thought this was going to be a good old fashioned cook with me; but she cut out the cooking part. Immobile who?? Gorl everything has always had calories, doesn't mean you can eat a whole bag of potatoes for 0 points. And 90 points is a shit ton! She couldn't get any more low effort. Whose going to pay $8 for livestreams two days a week where you just get to watch Hambeast play on her phone, talk to Becky or eye fuck herself?

PS- Where are Rarity and Wasabi?? When was the last time they were seen in a video? Are they alive? I haven't even seen/heard Twinkie much lately and I despise that dog.