COOK WITH ME AND TORRID HAUL!!!! -

Slappy McGherkin

Bartender? Make that a double.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
These two screenshots pretty much tell us how successful she'll be playing Master Dietitian and Gordon Ramsey for her and Becky. This is immediately after she announces she's going to do a little "taste test" and crams REAL LIVE FROM THE PRODUCE AISLE greenbeans in her face instead of oversalted canned greenbeans.

Hamber1.jpg


Hamber2.jpg

No foodgasm, no wonky eyes of satiated desire, no HMMMMMM!!!!!!
Just grimace and pain, with absolute disgust at the taste and and I'm gagging here and about to puke my guts up.
Keep laaaahhhing to yourself that you LIKE it, Hamber. We believe you. (not)
 

mrsm0rbid

bag o' bones
kiwifarms.net
Either heart, liver, kidneys, or pancreas. Those are four of the big five, gallbladder being #5, but Becky already had her's removed iirc.
She's got blood pressure issues so the heart is definitely a possibility*, and weren't her kidneys mentioned as having problems before too?

Spot on for whoever called that out earlier, I'm too lazy to go back and check
 

L_I_F_T_E_D

kiwifarms.net
COOK WITH ME & TORRID HAUL!!!!! - 10/7/2019
Because I hate myself and my blood pressure enough to watch these "inscrutiateen" videos so YOU DON'T HAVE TO:

- A post-video separate video. Back to Hamber multi-vloggeen for them YouTube shekels!

- She's upright, so she's immediately out of breath just from standing and waddling.

- Beggy got her flowers. Aww.

- Hamber Vlogs: A Salad

- Hamber made Beggy a salad, and made herself a veggie patty being eaten on a bagel with cream cheese and cucumber, with grapes. (Note the insistence that it is VERY LIGHT on the cream cheese!)

MINI MOOK-BONG: Good Thins (Sweet Potato)
- Believe child labor is being used, one of the children brought over by Density?
- *crunch* *nod* *uhhuhuhhuh*

- Smash-cut to Next Day (but no mention of the date)

- Complaints about complaints she gets over people saying she doesn't look sad on her happy SnapChat posts. She's just trying to DISTRACT herself from the TERRIBLE SAD SHE GONNA CRY BUT NOT GONNA TALK ABOUT THE BAD THINGS.

TORRID HAUL
- Gray "dress" with flowers (size 5)
- Striped sweater (size 6)
- Cardigan Shirt Sweater (size 5) (Because that way she doesn't have to pretend those buttons even come CLOSE to closing on her so-much-larger-than-XXXXXL-sized-body)
- Black "dress" (size 5)
- Green "dress" (size 5)

- Once again, every item in a Size 5 is SUPPOSED to be worn as a full-body dress, and she will be wearing it as a shirt (poorly). The only thing supposed to BE a shirt is the Size 6 item, which will also fit poorly. No try-on today, gorls!

COOK WITH ME
- Green beans (boiled to death)
- "Little bit" of pasta
- Shrimp

- Sad Twinkie Storr, being slowly eclipsed by Hamber's girth just from holding a camera and pointing it downward.

- Hamber Vlogs: Dinner (portion 1 of 6 eaten)

- "We're doing a thing where we don't add salt to anything" (In the video following her sodium-laden Chinese-food binge?)

COMMENT OF THE DAY!
Comment from WHAT I ATE TODAY!!!! (out of 2,542): Happy Daze - "'Take my mind off it with some dumplings' And that's why you'll never, ever succeed in weightloss. RIP Amberlynn 2019"
Response: "I do eat for comfort, but that meal was something I was ALREADY going to eat, so it still helped anyway." "EVERYBODY IS DIFFERENT." "I don't care that I said that." "SKINNY AND TALL PEOPLE ALSO EAT FOR COMFORT."
Bonus: Claims that for the "is Amberlynn a liar or wasteful" question, she is "wasteful" by throwing out food. She TOTALLY didn't eat it all. She hasn't even had candy or sweets in "a hot minute", because the crackers she ate were NOT salty and do NOT fall under the candy/sweets category!

Bonus: Amberlynn Vlogs - "Crool Comment"

TL;DR: EATING CRACKERS. EATING MEALS. SHITTY COOKING. MORE TORRID AND NO TRY-ONS. SKIP!
 

Diet Coke 4 Life

When I peek, it is in the line of duty.
kiwifarms.net
I wanna smack her.
If it's because of the sodium content of butter, then she could get Land O' Lakes unsalted butter. It has 0mg of sodium. It's available at Walmart.
Fuck you, Amber. You cook like that because you lack any ability in the kitchen, and think that butter will give you too many evil calories. (wait, just realized this was for Beggy, not for her, so) don't give a shit what it tastes like because you don't have to eat it. Because fuck Becky. She didn't cure your Destiny heartbreak.
 

toilet_rainbow

like a monster truck in the nightlife
kiwifarms.net
Her thumbnails are always bad but something about this one made my skin particularly crawl. She looks like death and is clearly catering for the feeder crowd. Bleh.

I wanna smack her.
If it's because of the sodium content of butter, then she could get Land O' Lakes unsalted butter. It has 0mg of sodium. It's available at Walmart.
Fuck you, Amber. You cook like that because you lack any ability in the kitchen, and think that butter will give you too many evil calories. (wait, just realized this was for Beggy, not for her, so) don't give a shit what it tastes like because you don't have to eat it. Because fuck Becky. She didn't cure your Destiny heartbreak.
You just ninja'd me.

Whether it's for Becky or not, her lack of fats in the kitchen is something I don't get. You don't need to deep fry the shrimp and green beans, but a little fat gives it dimension. I wouldn't be surprised if part of it was laziness and ironically gluttony as well. It's just another step she can skip to get the food in her faster.

(Also who eats salted butter regularly? Salted butter tastes like a fatty salt lick.)
 

mekalekahi

gunna go home,take a lexapro and start the chili
kiwifarms.net
Eating at home to amber instead of getting fast food or eating out is her living nightmare.

One thing I have never understood with her is she has no problem eating fast food or somthing from a restaurant when she is "counting calories" but lets say she ordered meal prepped food or had a person cook meals for her and deliver them, she wont do it because she "doesn't trust people". But tracking burger king into your day is safer?
 

DefCon Dumb

Confronter of Cryptoid Cuntiness
kiwifarms.net
She's so predictable with her: "I'm emotionally distraught but can't/won't talk about it." crap. Within 24 hours she starts leaving bread crumb trails all over social media that shortly make it clear at least the nature of the Fiasco de Jour. Got it - it's medical. Doubt it's her because she don't do doctors. If it's Becky, she's playing supportive spouse online to make it look like she really gives a shit, by prepping a meal for the 2 of them; a meal others have pointed out she clearly thinks is revolting on many levels. If Becky now has medically necessary food restrictions, she'd be better off prepping her own food in accordance with doctor's recommendations. I don't have enough clues to figure out what the problem may be but if Amber is to be believed, it involves no added salt & smaller portions of food- for Becky at least. I'd love to see what she stuffed down her maw after the camera was turned off.
 

Emotional Prolapse

Cow Psychologist
kiwifarms.net
Yeah, while I still believe all is not well between the room mates in the fag shanty, it looks like this time it's a Beggy situation.

Makes sense. No way would she eat like that on her own. She wasn't enjoyeen that meal at all. Plus no Becky for the entire video again. Says Becky was cleaning out the fridge -- emptying it of junk in preparation for whatever diet the doc put her on. Love that despite currently being the sick one, Becky's still the one cleaning shit and buying flowers for Amber instead of the other way around. The fuck lol.

Inb4 she literally kills Becky via orange chicken overdose.
 

RemoveKebab

Fat Shaming is Haram
kiwifarms.net
Why does she even bother with these cook with me videos? She can't cook, hates the food she makes, and likely just throws it away after filming and sends The Neckster to McDonalds.

Oh she bothers because there are dumb people who actually believe she eats "hEaLtHy" like this daily (she doesn't).
 
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Fandom Trash

Just your typical tumblr trash
kiwifarms.net
If that's the case then "no more trip to the cheesecake factory, Bobo!"

Amber can't get her orange chicken fix since Necky might actually have health problems this time.
 
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