Cracked pretty much did a "Date Ed" article -

[Chrus Chundlur]

Here

I wish I could post this on his Fb wall, although most probably he wouldnt actually understand shit.

 

[Alp_Aslan]

Yeah he would be too lazy to change his ways. Well atleast he didnt pay money for the so called pick up artists.

 

[Chrus Chundlur]

Heh, maybe he doesnt know of them, I can see him wasting his money in PuA shit.

Its funny, while the article is pretty general, at times looks like its talking directly to Chris....it even kind of comes off with the classic Chris: "Sex ED is fine for AFTER 3 or so DATES, but HOW DO WE EVEN GET TO THE FIRST DATE?!!!" in the introduction!

 

[DykesDykesChina]

A nice intelligent article... but it probably refers less to Chris and is more about kicking Pick Up artists and loveshys. Which is a sensible thing.

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

Yeah, it pretty much said guys who get rejected over and over become loveshys. It also told PUA's to cut the crap.

I thought it was a pretty good article, too.

 

[Varis]

Seriously, imagine what's going through her head when some guy she's never met steps up and starts awkwardly rambling about whatever pops into his head, sweating and fidgeting like he's trying to avoid the police, a slight hint of "I could vomit at any second" on his face.

Sound familiar?

#5 is so true, especially the part about individuals. Some people don't seem to remember that the other gender is still the same species and does not think all that differently.

 

[Anchuent Christory]

Thing is, despite Chris' demands for some form of date ed, he's completely incapable of taking advice on board, especially if said advice involves him changing his ways or acknowledging any flaws.

Really, it was only ever just another excuse as to why somethings not his fault.

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

^ Right, at best, Chris will just say that the advice has been inputted and he's taking it under great considerations. At worst, he'll be offended and think you're treating him like an idiot because the advice you're offering is very basic and he could or should figure it out for himself, but for whatever reason he doesn't (see the mailbag where the girl offers him dating advice but he pretty much does what I described).

Really, that's the most frustrating thing about Chris (and kids, now that I have some oversight of them): they know what the right thing to do is, but for whatever reason, they choose not to do it. It's very annoying. Chris knows he should eat vegetables and avoid fast food and he knows how to approach women (again, the mailbag), but he doesn't do it. Then again, we all know that most of his problems are his own fault, but that's a different matter.

 

[Marvin]

Really, that's the most frustrating thing about Chris (and kids, now that I have some oversight of them): they know what the right thing to do is, but for whatever reason, they choose not to do it. It's very annoying. Chris knows he should eat vegetables and avoid fast food and he knows how to approach women (again, the mailbag), but he doesn't do it. Then again, we all know that most of his problems are his own fault, but that's a different matter.

I don't know, I think you're oversimplifying the situation. Chris thinks about these things, but his ability to handle issues of scale or that involve any amount of subtlety are complete shit. And really, that's kinda the same problem children have. Chris does know he should eat vegetables, so that's why he eats apples at mcdonalds and bullshit like that. He thinks that apples at mcdonalds once in awhile solves all his health problems. This is an issue of scale.

Same thing with approaching women. Approaching women, when you're a nervous, awkward teenager (or a poorly socialized cross-dressing fatass), is very hard, so Chris was looking around for alternatives. He learned that some women are the dominant player in the relationship, and he says "well shit, I can sit on my ass all day? sign me up!"

But these sort of women are rare, especially in Chris' local area. Even if there was some masculine woman in Charlottesville, Chris just thinks that he'll magically run into her and she'll whisk him away. He doesn't realize how unlikely this is. Chris can't tell the difference between technically possible, and likely to happen.

These are all related to his inability to handle numbers and scale. Remember, we all laugh at Chris saying that a 12 pack weighs 50 pounds or that he has a billion fans. This is the same problem.

Kids have the same problem at first. The difference is that as kids grow up, they gradually learn what's reasonable. Kids will learn what a billion is or how unreasonable it is that trolls are spending thousands of dollars to set up harassment campaigns against him. Chris hasn't had the opportunity to learn how fucking nuts this all is. And he's 30 now.

 

[Thetan]

....because she is not a vagina that happens to have the downside of a personality attached to it like a parasite.

This is pretty much sums up Chris's problem with women. He's not going to get anywhere until he figures this out.

 

[CatParty]

sounds "dated"

 

[Furina]

I doubt Chris will read the article even if he followed the link. It looks like a lot a reading for such a busy man like Chris to sit through. And besides its still not a straight forward, step by step, 100% foolproof guide to getting a girlfriend so I don't think Chris will trust it or both employing some of its advice.

 

[Marvin]

I doubt Chris will read the article even if he followed the link. It looks like a lot a reading for such a busy man like Chris to sit through. And besides its still not a straight forward, step by step, 100% foolproof guide to getting a girlfriend so I don't think Chris will trust it or both employing some of its advice.

Well yeah. Honestly, a lot of the stuff in that article is mostly a rebuttal to awful PUA stuff on the internet, I think. The opening paragraph or so is reminiscent of Chris, but otherwise I don't know how related it is to Chris. I guess just kinda vaguely related to Chris, but just so far as Chris is stupid as hell (and from that stupidity, comes Chris' sexism).

 

[Furina]

I doubt Chris will read the article even if he followed the link. It looks like a lot a reading for such a busy man like Chris to sit through. And besides its still not a straight forward, step by step, 100% foolproof guide to getting a girlfriend so I don't think Chris will trust it or both employing some of its advice.

Well yeah. Honestly, a lot of the stuff in that article is mostly a rebuttal to awful PUA stuff on the internet, I think. The opening paragraph or so is reminiscent of Chris, but otherwise I don't know how related it is to Chris. I guess just kinda vaguely related to Chris, but just so far as Chris is stupid as hell (and from that stupidity, comes Chris' sexism).

And Chris is exactly the kind of gulliable twit that thinks PUA's are worth listening to. I can so easily see Chris in a pick up artist's class trying to learn "the secret" to getting a girlfriend.

 

[Marvin]

I doubt Chris will read the article even if he followed the link. It looks like a lot a reading for such a busy man like Chris to sit through. And besides its still not a straight forward, step by step, 100% foolproof guide to getting a girlfriend so I don't think Chris will trust it or both employing some of its advice.

Well yeah. Honestly, a lot of the stuff in that article is mostly a rebuttal to awful PUA stuff on the internet, I think. The opening paragraph or so is reminiscent of Chris, but otherwise I don't know how related it is to Chris. I guess just kinda vaguely related to Chris, but just so far as Chris is stupid as hell (and from that stupidity, comes Chris' sexism).

And Chris is exactly the kind of gulliable twit that thinks PUA's are worth listening to. I can so easily see Chris in a pick up artist's class trying to learn "the secret" to getting a girlfriend.

Maybe, but they're also super sexist. And not just in the normal sense, but in a very cartoonish, stereotypical way that even Chris could notice. It's probably a coin flip whether Chris would get into PUA stuff or whether he'd be offended by them putting down women.

 

[Furina]

Maybe, but they're also super sexist. And not just in the normal sense, but in a very cartoonish, stereotypical way that even Chris could notice. It's probably a coin flip whether Chris would get into PUA stuff or whether he'd be offended by them putting down women.

That's true. Chris does think all women are beautiful creatures incapable of harm or malice so I think a PUA might offend Chris a bit, but then the PUA will say "But it'll help you get laid" and Chris would sit right back down. Chris picks and chooses which parts of a lesson he chooses to learn/obey, so I don't think he'd become more of a sexist than he already is. There's no way in hell Chris'll become a womanizer.

 

[Marvin]

Maybe, but they're also super sexist. And not just in the normal sense, but in a very cartoonish, stereotypical way that even Chris could notice. It's probably a coin flip whether Chris would get into PUA stuff or whether he'd be offended by them putting down women.

That's true. Chris does think all women are beautiful creatures incapable of harm or malice so I think a PUA might offend Chris a bit, but then the PUA will say "But it'll help you get laid" and Chris would sit right back down. Chris picks and chooses which parts of a lesson he chooses to learn/obey, so I don't think he'd become more of a sexist than he already is. There's no way in hell Chris'll become a womanizer.

Eh, Chris really might not sit back down. Other people have told him that he needs to do X, Y and Z to get the ladies, and if he is offended, he'll ignore it. So, tell Chris he's a greasy fatass who needs to exercise more and take more showers, for example.

 

[Very Honest Content]

The entire appeal of the Love Quest is that Chris is employing his autistic version of a pick up artist's approach to attracting women, but of course, it's completely ineffectual because of his unwillingness to take criticism of his methods in a constructive manner or apply any attempt at refining himself or his methods that aren't completely self defeating in a way his decision to go illustrates perfectly. (That plus it's pretty obvious he's really just a bisexual who will stick his duck in anything with female traditional appearance, whether it has a 2nd X chromosome or not, while being such a homo and novio-phobe.) It's his best hope but he's screwed until he can adapt to those two weak-points in his entire attempt.

 

[Chrus Chundlur]

About Chris getting offended by sexism...I dont know, he is the kind of guy who will throw away his ideals if he thinks he can get any benefit from it....

His (purpoted) affinity with women is an integral part of his personality, but many years ago, him going tomgirl was unthinkable (Yeah, he already had pretty faggy hobbies like My little pony, but still...), as well as his recent god-hating (his temptations to "torture god" and all that crap), although on the other hand, yeah, his "faith" never was more than seeing god as some kind of magic genie or cosmic butler.

Also, Chris is actually sexist as fuck although he doesnt realize it (Kill Mimm's girlfriend, strip show in Sonichu to celebrate women's rights, all women in the planet owe me sex, etc...) maybe with a little nudge he can go on full women-hating mode (and with his jerk-phobia, that would be the day Chris totally disconnects with the human genre )

So I guess that the point im trying to make here would be: "Chris IS capable of change....UNLESS if its for the better"

I doubt Chris will read the article even if he followed the link. It looks like a lot a reading for such a busy man like Chris to sit through. And besides its still not a straight forward, step by step, 100% foolproof guide to getting a girlfriend so I don't think Chris will trust it or both employing some of its advice.

Yeah, Chris probably would go "TOO MUCH TEXT, STRESSFUL" but I think that the two first introductory paragraphs would resonate perfectly with him and maybe lure him into reading the whole thing. As I said, the guy there is basically going with Chris idea that "sex-ed is good after 3 dates, but we should be taught how to get to the first date"

#5. They Rely on a "System"

Maybe Chris could relate this to his retarded methods, like Attraction Signs.

#4. Using Pick-Up Lines

In the tale of the crazy pacer, he parroted a pick-up line to Anna. Im sure he memorized a lot (Maybe from that crappy DS dating game he liked) and that it wasnt the only time he tried to pull that kind of stuff.

#3. They Let Rejection Dictate Their Actions

Chris being a pussy. Noviophobia (tangentially).

#2. They Make Bad Assumptions About What Women Want

Nuff' said

#1. They Give Up

Since he is constantly bitching about not having a gf, I dont know if we can say that he has given up, but this one relates to Chris being a passive fuck.

....

Yeah, I know, even if Chris got to read this and re-read it 100 times over he would never apply any of it or have the insight to read between the lines and relate the article to aspects of his life...but when I read the article I couldnt help to be constantly relating it to Chris

 

[Marvin]

About Chris getting offended by sexism...I dont know, he is the kind of guy who will throw away his ideals if he thinks he can get any benefit from it....

His (purpoted) affinity with women is an integral part of his personality, but many years ago, him going tomgirl was unthinkable (Yeah, he already had pretty faggy hobbies like My little pony, but still...), as well as his recent god-hating (his temptations to "torture god" and all that crap), although on the other hand, yeah, his "faith" never was more than seeing god as some kind of magic genie or cosmic butler.

Well, I guess hindsight is 20/20, but still, looking back, you can see clues that Chris was wanting to be female. And essential aspects of Chris (he's still STRAIGHT) are still there. I don't know, I really wouldn't think of the tomgirl stuff being impossible way back then. When it cropped up, I just thought Chris was doing something more weird than usual, not that he was doing something very anti-Chris.

And while Chris can fold a lot of the time, he still thinks about whether or not he's giving up something important to himself. So, it's not like Chris would fold on his video games to get a girlfriend. If a troll girl forced him to, he'd do something retarded like cross his fingers or something like that. In fact, if there's one thing that Chris is, it's that he's stubborn as fuck when he really wants to be.

Also, Chris is actually sexist as fuck although he doesnt realize it (Kill Mimm's girlfriend, strip show in Sonichu to celebrate women's rights, all women in the planet owe me sex, etc...) maybe with a little nudge he can go on full women-hating mode (and with his jerk-phobia, that would be the day Chris totally disconnects with the human genre )

So I guess that the point im trying to make here would be: "Chris IS capable of change....UNLESS if its for the better"

Oh, definitely. Chris is a tremendously sexist asshole. Although, now that I think about it more, stereotyping is the only way he can relate to people other than Borb. That's the only way he can understand other people. And that naturally leads to him being a sexist asshole.

Edit: And to elaborate a bit about Chris folding on girls, their alleged "sweetness" is the main reason Chris wants a girl. We've tried to show him that girls can be mean too, and he just makes up excuses for their behavior. They're on their period or being emotional or stupid, sexist, shit like that. If Chris stopped thinking girls were perfect, his whole system would fall apart.