• "i fear for my life every day because trump won't give me money for me to waste on striped socks, used panties and a webcam to show the world how girly i am"

Gross CraftyBeautyDiva1 / crappybeautydummy

Discussion in 'Beauty Parlour' started by littlebiscuits, Dec 20, 2014.

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The Beauty Parlour is for women or not-women in the sphere of cosplay and the beauty industry that is not strictly limited to lolcows.

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  1. I wish she'd come back. She's one of my fav hot messes of yt.
     
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  2. Well, she's back! She claims to have stopped wearing cosmetics, yet returns with a "get ready with me" makeup application video.

    Never change, Maria.
     
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    #582 Durable Mike Malloy, Nov 13, 2016
    Last edited: Nov 13, 2016
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  3. And we have God as vending machine yet again.

    I bet dollars to donuts that she stopped shopping at Target because of the bathroom thing, given their propensity to drive everywhere (including into deep standing water)

    I'm hoping we get to hear more of her fuckups. Like Mickular cleansing water.
     
    GRANDnumberofMULTIPLES

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  4. Maria deciding to stop wearing makeup would be like Chris applying for a full time job or Phil getting a tattoo that won't be regrettable in five minutes.
     
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  5. This gives me LIFE! Seriously though, I am so glad to see this thread updated.
     
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    FlowerOfZenobia

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  6. Why are the sides of her forehead so dirty looking tho? It looks like she rolled around in dirt and hasn't washed it off. Also gurl that contour was not good. She blends about as well as Kai.
     
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  7. That cheek contour...Where did she get the idea that it's supposed to go all the way down to the chin? It's really emphasizing her turkey waddle.
     
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    FlowerOfZenobia

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  8. Either she doesn't bathe or she rubs bronzer all over her. We never figured it out.
     
    sparklemilhouse

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  9. Yay!!! Can't wait to see her bible illustrations again.

    But it's our punishment that she won't give us an apartment tour because of previous negative comments. This should be a lesson: keep negative comments here and not on YouTube! Sure wish people could learn that. Think of the goodness we are missing out on.

    So, aside from the odd and too dark contouring, I admit-I didn't hate that makeup. I'm sure I'll see red X's blooming below this post, but she's either gotten better or had a good day, or maybe I'm having a stroke. I even thought her eyes looked good, and about ten times better than Kailyn could ever do. If she cut her hair to shoulder length (washed it) and let it down, she'd look pretty normal, unlike Kai with her potato face, permanent grease and bug eyes slathered in weird colors.

    Admittedly, that's not saying much, but Mariar did it all with 5.00 pallids and not 60.00 ones, is 40, and still looks better.

    Of course, wait until she paints her nails. :). She'll be on an even keel with Kai again.
     
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  10. I guess they got their smartphones back from the pawn shop.
     
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    sparklemilhouse

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  11. Looks like Jesus is trying to drown a bitch in that second one.

    I really hope that she continues to share this artwork. I remember puzzling out what the fuck one of her doodles was supposed to be and I can't remember if it was a faucet washing sin away or a pair of legs and feet curb stomping sin.
     
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    #592 GRANDnumberofMULTIPLES, Nov 15, 2016
    Last edited: Nov 15, 2016
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  12. Guess even Jesus has limits.
     
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    FlowerOfZenobia

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  13. image.png

    Raise your hand if you're completely unsurprised by the fact that even Maria's Crockpot is camo-print.
     
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  14. Saw that picture and was completely unsurprised.
     
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    FlowerOfZenobia

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  15. If you don't cover everything in camo, how will people know you're a redneck? If people don't know you're a redneck, then do you even exist? Is the Crockpot empty or is there an extremely confused cat inside?
     
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  16. IMG_2219.jpg IMG_2220.JPG
    NO disrespect to Kyle Gass...
    ...but this woman looks JUST like Kyle Gass.
     
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  17. God damn, she does look exactly like Kyle Gass.
     
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    FlowerOfZenobia

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  18. If it wasn't for her personality and habits I'd feel a bit sorry for her as someone who chooses to do beauty tutorials. Her face is just so saggy and doughy that no make up could really fix it. Makeup is for fixing relatively minor issues like mild acne or some discoloration and/or accentuating what you have. No makeup can fix a fivehead and triple chin. She's just unattractive. But since we have proof at how ridiculous she is, I don't feel bad.

    In all the photos where she has black hair it looks fake, like someone photoshopped hair onto her head. There's no shine to it and it's so flat and stiff looking.

    This lady isn't a good person, but for all the real genuinely repugnant people we feature here, at least this cow is someone I can just laugh at. Now if her kids were in the picture it would be different, but since they are (hopefully) safe with their father then at least they are free from her influence and poor choices.

    Also thanks for alerting me to Hobonichi Techno.

    Protip for nails: do them before you shower. Make sure they're dry and just by nature of being in water most of the polish that ended up on skin should peel off and away.
     
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    Dr.Research

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  19. Few pages back, but there's also stuff like grabbing nail art brushes (they're relatively cheap!) and acetone/non acetone cleaner (if your skin and nails are sensitive like mine are) for post nail painting cleanup. However, there's also the glory that is liquid latex, or skin protectors that are also relatively cheap if latex is an allergy/you don't want to peel shit off with a stick. You can see on the site I listed that you get two packs of 20 for 5 bucks, which is literally discount store prices. I have fine motor issues and this shit has saved my fingers from looking like messes.

    As for walmart brands, she does know Hard Candy is sold in walmart, right? It's 4 dollars and the quality is pretty good, even if you have to apply 2 coats to get a good solid color. Their top coats are absolutely top notch, though.

    Makeup can do a lot, yeah, but it also boils down to not knowing how to actually do makeup that suits your face. The popular contouring trick (slather on a shitton under your cheekbones) looks absolutely shitty on me due to how my facial structure looks, and it also looks shitty on her because she has an oblong face, which DEFINITELY doesn't need help with side shadows because it makes your face look longer. tl;dr a lot of her issues with makeup boil down to her not....actually looking up what makeup style would fit her face. It won't help the underlying issues, but it'd go a long way.

    And yeah, chalk me up for being glad her children are actually being cared for by someone that'll be better for them.
     
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