Craigslist Cringe Thread -

[Jetstream Sam]

Decided to look on craiglist for cringe and oh my god I found one that hurts.

What I Mean To Say Is... I'm Sorry


"Ladies as you read the following you'll probably be relieved that this usually unaddressed issue, affecting lovely females across the nation, is finally being spoken to. Im just gonna say it and as I do please know there'll be no more backpedaling, sidestepping or ridiculous excuses from me. Simply
You're not satisfied during sex. We men continuously walk away in 10 minutes with smiles for miles and 0 sympathy for you.. Whom is still wondering if the action will ever begin.
Because every guy in the country is guilty of it and as I point my finger at them there's three pointing rite back at me. And every time it happend I pretended it didn't and so did all of you but now it's just about time to put a stop to it. Starting with the man in the mirror. That's rite.. I've made the necessary changes. Emerged with the necessary skills and now. I'm here to let you know.. That your complete and total sexual satisfaction from this day on. Is now my minimum requirement. Your "fucking happiness" is my top priority. Think of it like your orgasm guaranty certificate is on file and available in hard copy. Ladies this document, by default warrants the full body massage to the fingertips. Wow. It begs that your awesome smelling beautiful hair is thoroughly worshipped and complimented. All corners of your amazing pussy thoroughly kissed and loved upon. How far will I go? What do I need from you to prove this? One more chance.. That's all I need. Guaranteed."



This dude is fedora incarnate.

 

[Varg Did Nothing Wrong]

Decided to look on craiglist for cringe and oh my god I found one that hurts.

What I Mean To Say Is... I'm Sorry


"Ladies as you read the following you'll probably be relieved that this usually unaddressed issue, affecting lovely females across the nation, is finally being spoken to. Im just gonna say it and as I do please know there'll be no more backpedaling, sidestepping or ridiculous excuses from me. Simply
You're not satisfied during sex. We men continuously walk away in 10 minutes with smiles for miles and 0 sympathy for you.. Whom is still wondering if the action will ever begin.
Because every guy in the country is guilty of it and as I point my finger at them there's three pointing rite back at me. And every time it happend I pretended it didn't and so did all of you but now it's just about time to put a stop to it. Starting with the man in the mirror. That's rite.. I've made the necessary changes. Emerged with the necessary skills and now. I'm here to let you know.. That your complete and total sexual satisfaction from this day on. Is now my minimum requirement. Your "fucking happiness" is my top priority. Think of it like your orgasm guaranty certificate is on file and available in hard copy. Ladies this document, by default warrants the full body massage to the fingertips. Wow. It begs that your awesome smelling beautiful hair is thoroughly worshipped and complimented. All corners of your amazing pussy thoroughly kissed and loved upon. How far will I go? What do I need from you to prove this? One more chance.. That's all I need. Guaranteed."



This dude is fedora incarnate.

This needs to be turned into a copypasta.

 

[Jetstream Sam]

This needs to be turned into a copypasta.

It really does sound like one. I should have screen-capped it when I had the chance.


I did screen-cap some other really bad ones. The second one wouldn't be complete without the dude's picture, it's so great.

 

[Chaton_Mort]

View attachment 378077

..."Butterfly love?" I'm dating myself here, but back in the web 1.0 days there was a site titled Butterfly Kisses, which catered to female pedophiles.

 

[JB 236]

I did screen-cap some other really bad ones. The second one wouldn't be complete without the dude's picture, it's so great.
View attachment 378077

That is really unfortunate...

 

[gumboman]

Who knew belly rubbing was such an illegal activity, the Buddhists must be pissed.

it's only when Buddhist spread in mongloid countries that we see icons with belly
Buddhist monks were very nihilistic & abjured most pleasure .
nihilism spread so much that sm Buddhist provinces faced famine as every one started becoming monk.

kings passed edict that women won't be monks as they were not starting families

 

[Francis E. Dec Esc.]

 

[Smarmy]

Did someone say dick pics?

Spoiler: Someone definitely said dick pics.

 

[Varg Did Nothing Wrong]

I almost want a glossary that I can look through to decode all these abbreviations and shit. DDD? DDF? MWM? HWP? What?

 

[Jetstream Sam]

I almost want a glossary that I can look through to decode all these abbreviations and shit. DDD? DDF? MWM? HWP? What?

I got this.

MWM - Married White Male
DDF - Drug and Disease Free
HWP - Height/Weight Proportional
DDD - Doesn't Do Drugs
NSA - No Strings Attached
JO - Jerk Off
M4W/W4M/M4M/W4W - Men Seeking Women/Women Seeking Men/Men Seeking Men/Women Seeking Women

There are others, and I'll add more if anyone would like.

 

[Smarmy]

Spoiler: Here's a...remarkable wall of text.

I am running for mayor (vote for me) hide this posting


Keep getting flagged ,but keep re posting.
Yes its me, the local truth teller . I tell the truth about the big noses and their black armies. I keep getting flagged but will keep posting. I'm planning to run for public office . Who wants to support me ? I would be a better image for Podunk County than mayor dipstick . I might be corrupt but I don't sh!t where I eat and I don't take from the little guys, Plus , I'm not j00ish or bl@ck , which should be a sure thing to get me into office.

It is finally happening . America is dying.

Praise the Lord , and pass the cookies.

The day that we never thought would arrive , has finally arrived and there are so many of us that are so happy . We've been waiting decades for this . The time is finally here . This is OUR time.

By now, you've all seen the news , either on tv , online , or even with your own eyes as cities across America have changed from peaceful urban paradises into savage african jungles. With the release ( financed and orchestrated by the edomite j00ish vipers ) of the black panther " movie " - which is nothing more than 2 hours worth of anti-White propaganda that is just one more cog in the gears turning the White genocide machine , America has become theirs. The blacks outnumber Whites by the dozens .They go where they want , do what they want , and the laws of a civlized society mean nothing to them.

America was once a nice place. A place of peace and safety and security . A place where people had a sense of morality and decency . A place where kids could play in their yards and women could walk along the streets and have a sense of safety . A place where schools were safe and the children were educated . A place where a kid could go to school , then go home and play , maybe chase after the ice cream truck for a treat . A kid could graduate from school and have great memories of friends and families before going off to college , then getting a degree and a good , reliable career , leading up to a great marriage and kids of their own , maybe even the proverbial house with a picket fence and a few puppers rolling around in the grass ; maybe 2 cars if they were successful and saved their pennies. Thanksgiving, Christmas , family vacations . Photo albums full of memories . Storage trunks full of trophies and the first set of the babies shoes , or the wilted dessicated flower given to her on the night of the prom. A great life. Something right out of Leave it to Beaver or I love Lucy , hell maybe even Andy Griffith .

Well people , that America is gone. Nothing more than a story that old people talk about as they lay dying in a bed in a nursing home they've been dumped in by their adult kids that are too busy or too lazy to care for them. Ungrateful bastards aren't they . Their parents raised them and provided for them and now instead of doing the right thing , they dump their aging parents off at a dump , to be slapped and robbed by some 400 pound n!66er b!tch who's robbing them to go pay for that weave , those long fake nails and that new Iphone X . The great place that was once known as America is gone and it's not going to come back . No matter how hard we try . This place is nothing more than a dirty , brown sewer.

In most sci fi movies , the future is a a bleak place. The streets are dirty , buildings are dilapidated , broken windows, chipped bricks , burning cars line the streets . Rabid , starving stray dogs chasing feral disease infested cats , then turning and attacking humans just to have a meal . Disease is rampant . Crime is the law of the land. People are immoral and pure evil . The Devil has won and God is dead .

And when you look really close at this world , which is no longer something out of a sci fi movie but is in fact reality - it is here and it is now , you'll see who is behind the downfall of Western civilization and the destruction of America. If you've read this far , you're wondering - " who is this troubled Genius ? What is she talking about ? , who are these evil creatures , straight out of a Resident Evil movie , that have destroyed a once proud and successful nation and people ? " You already know the answer but you're afraid to speak it aloud . For your entire life you've been taught that saying it , even THINKING it , is wrong and a sin. But deep inside, you KNOW the truth. You know who is responsible . You KNOW their names. YOU know their faces , the Masters have beady little eyes and big noses and their symbol is the star of Moloch , and their armies have beady brown eyes, big flat nostrils , thick suction cup lips, and nappy greasy hair. You can't fight an enemy if you can't identify it. Don't be afraid America , to say the name of your enemies . . hussein 0b@ma was too scared and submissive to say " radical islam " and look what happened to America because of that.

Now for the good part. While it's true that America will never again be the great place it was , some small part of it can be saved and you can do something about it . Now is the time and America is the place. First American then the rest of the World . It is time to rise up and take a stand . Be the one to stand face to beak with those hook nosed vipers . Be the one to stand face to - big flat nostrils with their simian army . Be the one to stand up and decide that you want to live in a safe America . You want your children to grow up in a safe America. You want your family to live long and prosper .


In case you haven't noticed , things have changed. Look at what you see every time you turn on the television , or log onto the internet . Look in the stores and every magazine . Look and see. Look at the news for the past week . Did you notice that nearly every boogaloo in the entire nation has the fever ? The rabid , raging , anti White fever , fuelled by the release of one of the biggest pieces of anti White propaganda since the holo-hoax. Can you imagine the absurdity of it ? A nation in africa , founded and ruled by primitive african simians , full of technology and science and prosperity. A nation where blacks rule and the White people ( if there are any ) are the second, third, fourth , or lower class , and their idea of a God and Savior is some boogaloo dressed up in a panther mask with Freddy Krueger claws?

Don't worry , it's just a nightmare but one that has stirred up the n!66ers more than anything martin luther kong ever did.

They have spoken and they have spoken loudly , but is America listening and watching ? They have made it very clear what they want . They want what you have and they'll do anything to take it from you .

They ARE violent , and they have absolutely no respect for the law and no regard for your life. They will rape you , they will kill you ,and they'll be cackling like a mangy hyena while they're raping you and pissing and crapping all over your house. They'll chop off your wife's finger to get that diamond ring you saved $10,000 to buy her. They'll rape you in the butt while slitting your throat and make your wife and kids watch while they're doing it. They are nothing more than mindless savage animals but they are so easily led and they'll do whatever their hook nosed masters tell them to do .

If you think they were dangerous before , then take a closer look at what they are capable of doing now. Nothing is more dangerous than a primitive , mindless , savage animal that has been told by the hook noses that they are the same as White people , that they deserve to be given what the White man has worked for . That they are more intelligent and more entitled to rule this planet than the White man .

Just look at people today .White kids with baggy pants and hats turned sideways , who cower at the sight of the big black buck. White girls who are so pissed off at the pu$$ified white boys that they either turn full diesel dyke lesbo , or have such low self esteem that they lay down for the big black buck while the cucked white boy stands there watching and jerking on his limp d!ck . Where are the REAL men ? Where are the self respecting women ? You get what you deserve don't you ?

Now is the time and here is the place . Wake up American . Rise up and take back what is rightfully and White-fully yours.

Think of those movies . Teminator Salvation , and of the Mad Max movies , Resident Evil . Look out the window at your beautiful town , then imagine it burning and destroyed, with MILLIONS of african tribal boogaloos running wild in the streets. America is the first step in making the entire Earth into a real life " planet of the apes " .

They want to displace you and unless you stand up and push back , you will be extinct by the end of 2018.

Happy Trump day , and I approve this message

Archive

 

[DatBepisTho]

Spoiler: Here's a...remarkable wall of text.

I am running for mayor (vote for me) hide this posting


Keep getting flagged ,but keep re posting.
Yes its me, the local truth teller . I tell the truth about the big noses and their black armies. I keep getting flagged but will keep posting. I'm planning to run for public office . Who wants to support me ? I would be a better image for Podunk County than mayor dipstick . I might be corrupt but I don't sh!t where I eat and I don't take from the little guys, Plus , I'm not j00ish or bl@ck , which should be a sure thing to get me into office.

It is finally happening . America is dying.

Praise the Lord , and pass the cookies.

The day that we never thought would arrive , has finally arrived and there are so many of us that are so happy . We've been waiting decades for this . The time is finally here . This is OUR time.

By now, you've all seen the news , either on tv , online , or even with your own eyes as cities across America have changed from peaceful urban paradises into savage african jungles. With the release ( financed and orchestrated by the edomite j00ish vipers ) of the black panther " movie " - which is nothing more than 2 hours worth of anti-White propaganda that is just one more cog in the gears turning the White genocide machine , America has become theirs. The blacks outnumber Whites by the dozens .They go where they want , do what they want , and the laws of a civlized society mean nothing to them.

America was once a nice place. A place of peace and safety and security . A place where people had a sense of morality and decency . A place where kids could play in their yards and women could walk along the streets and have a sense of safety . A place where schools were safe and the children were educated . A place where a kid could go to school , then go home and play , maybe chase after the ice cream truck for a treat . A kid could graduate from school and have great memories of friends and families before going off to college , then getting a degree and a good , reliable career , leading up to a great marriage and kids of their own , maybe even the proverbial house with a picket fence and a few puppers rolling around in the grass ; maybe 2 cars if they were successful and saved their pennies. Thanksgiving, Christmas , family vacations . Photo albums full of memories . Storage trunks full of trophies and the first set of the babies shoes , or the wilted dessicated flower given to her on the night of the prom. A great life. Something right out of Leave it to Beaver or I love Lucy , hell maybe even Andy Griffith .

Well people , that America is gone. Nothing more than a story that old people talk about as they lay dying in a bed in a nursing home they've been dumped in by their adult kids that are too busy or too lazy to care for them. Ungrateful bastards aren't they . Their parents raised them and provided for them and now instead of doing the right thing , they dump their aging parents off at a dump , to be slapped and robbed by some 400 pound n!66er b!tch who's robbing them to go pay for that weave , those long fake nails and that new Iphone X . The great place that was once known as America is gone and it's not going to come back . No matter how hard we try . This place is nothing more than a dirty , brown sewer.

In most sci fi movies , the future is a a bleak place. The streets are dirty , buildings are dilapidated , broken windows, chipped bricks , burning cars line the streets . Rabid , starving stray dogs chasing feral disease infested cats , then turning and attacking humans just to have a meal . Disease is rampant . Crime is the law of the land. People are immoral and pure evil . The Devil has won and God is dead .

And when you look really close at this world , which is no longer something out of a sci fi movie but is in fact reality - it is here and it is now , you'll see who is behind the downfall of Western civilization and the destruction of America. If you've read this far , you're wondering - " who is this troubled Genius ? What is she talking about ? , who are these evil creatures , straight out of a Resident Evil movie , that have destroyed a once proud and successful nation and people ? " You already know the answer but you're afraid to speak it aloud . For your entire life you've been taught that saying it , even THINKING it , is wrong and a sin. But deep inside, you KNOW the truth. You know who is responsible . You KNOW their names. YOU know their faces , the Masters have beady little eyes and big noses and their symbol is the star of Moloch , and their armies have beady brown eyes, big flat nostrils , thick suction cup lips, and nappy greasy hair. You can't fight an enemy if you can't identify it. Don't be afraid America , to say the name of your enemies . . hussein 0b@ma was too scared and submissive to say " radical islam " and look what happened to America because of that.

Now for the good part. While it's true that America will never again be the great place it was , some small part of it can be saved and you can do something about it . Now is the time and America is the place. First American then the rest of the World . It is time to rise up and take a stand . Be the one to stand face to beak with those hook nosed vipers . Be the one to stand face to - big flat nostrils with their simian army . Be the one to stand up and decide that you want to live in a safe America . You want your children to grow up in a safe America. You want your family to live long and prosper .


In case you haven't noticed , things have changed. Look at what you see every time you turn on the television , or log onto the internet . Look in the stores and every magazine . Look and see. Look at the news for the past week . Did you notice that nearly every boogaloo in the entire nation has the fever ? The rabid , raging , anti White fever , fuelled by the release of one of the biggest pieces of anti White propaganda since the holo-hoax. Can you imagine the absurdity of it ? A nation in africa , founded and ruled by primitive african simians , full of technology and science and prosperity. A nation where blacks rule and the White people ( if there are any ) are the second, third, fourth , or lower class , and their idea of a God and Savior is some boogaloo dressed up in a panther mask with Freddy Krueger claws?

Don't worry , it's just a nightmare but one that has stirred up the n!66ers more than anything martin luther kong ever did.

They have spoken and they have spoken loudly , but is America listening and watching ? They have made it very clear what they want . They want what you have and they'll do anything to take it from you .

They ARE violent , and they have absolutely no respect for the law and no regard for your life. They will rape you , they will kill you ,and they'll be cackling like a mangy hyena while they're raping you and pissing and crapping all over your house. They'll chop off your wife's finger to get that diamond ring you saved $10,000 to buy her. They'll rape you in the butt while slitting your throat and make your wife and kids watch while they're doing it. They are nothing more than mindless savage animals but they are so easily led and they'll do whatever their hook nosed masters tell them to do .

If you think they were dangerous before , then take a closer look at what they are capable of doing now. Nothing is more dangerous than a primitive , mindless , savage animal that has been told by the hook noses that they are the same as White people , that they deserve to be given what the White man has worked for . That they are more intelligent and more entitled to rule this planet than the White man .

Just look at people today .White kids with baggy pants and hats turned sideways , who cower at the sight of the big black buck. White girls who are so pissed off at the pu$$ified white boys that they either turn full diesel dyke lesbo , or have such low self esteem that they lay down for the big black buck while the cucked white boy stands there watching and jerking on his limp d!ck . Where are the REAL men ? Where are the self respecting women ? You get what you deserve don't you ?

Now is the time and here is the place . Wake up American . Rise up and take back what is rightfully and White-fully yours.

Think of those movies . Teminator Salvation , and of the Mad Max movies , Resident Evil . Look out the window at your beautiful town , then imagine it burning and destroyed, with MILLIONS of african tribal boogaloos running wild in the streets. America is the first step in making the entire Earth into a real life " planet of the apes " .

They want to displace you and unless you stand up and push back , you will be extinct by the end of 2018.

Happy Trump day , and I approve this message

Archive

Holy shit is that a tldr. Full diesel dyke would be a great glamrock band name, tho.

 

[Chaton_Mort]

Did someone say dick pics?

Sad, maybe, maybe, sad, sure, sad, OK, nah, bad angle, is that your dick or are you clutching someone else's, meh.

That took me 5 seconds. Is this what Tinder is like?

 

[The Great Citracett]

 

[Un Platano]

 

[RJ MacReady]

View attachment 388783

When I look for shit to post in this thread it's always 60 - 70% ads from men who want to eat pussy no matter their stated age or what city I pick. I can't tell if all of Craigslist has ED or if they're all just copying each other because they think it works.

 

[The Great Citracett]

When I look for shit to post in this thread it's always 60 - 70% ads from men who want to eat pussy no matter their stated age or what city I pick. I can't tell if all of Craigslist has ED or if they're all just copying each other because they think it works.

I like all the bizarre "sexy" words they come up with for pussy. Just comes off as super creepy.

And my area is jam packed with closeted gay homophobic dudes who insist they're straight, and just want to suck a fellow straight guy off, or have completely straight man-on-man anal sex in a totally hetero manner. No homo.

My favorite CL ad, that I'm a dumbass for not saving because I hadn't joined this site yet, was one from a STRAIGHT MAN with a MALE WIFE. (He capitalized that throughout the ad). The whole thing was about how he and his MALE WIFE were looking to add another STRAIGHT MAN to their HETEROSEXUAL MARRIAGE to have lots of steamy bareback STRAIGHT sex between three men. ALSO NO FAG SHIT WE'RE NOT GAY, NO GAYS, NO BI. It was a very long post and it was written like that the whole way.

There were all 24 pictures used, and all were hardcore gay porn gangbang scenes. It was really something.

 

[Smarmy]

Spoiler: Alien contact

Spoiler: That's just communism for you ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Spoiler: Totally Legit

Spoiler: Swirlie

Spoiler: B-)

Spoiler: L'chaim all shook up

 

[millais]

B L A C K E D

 

[MerriedxReldnahc]

This might be more appropriate for a Craigslist Win thread.

Personally I think it looks more like Ozzy in the 70's.