Crazy BF/GF Stories - Everyone's a Little Psycho

[Most Epic Newfag]

Regale us with your best tales of your insane significant other. I don't have any because I'm a beta virgin loser but I like reading about them so post your best.

 

[Draza]

Never had a girlfriend, and most likely never will. I want to hear some stories as well.

 

[The Fifth Waltz]

My ex had a bitch fit at my parent's house and made me drive him home two days early thus cutting the annual visit from my grandparents short. We broke up two weeks later.
He was insanely afraid of commitment and wouldn't let me have a copy of his house key even though we were dating over a year.
Or there's the time he tried to make me pay for $40 tickets to see the ice castle even though I was mad broke at the time.
If there's any girls reading my comment, take my word and never date a cheap guy.
And If my ex stumbles upon this, you can go fuck yourself.

 

[Ted_Breakfast]

Every significant other I've had has had a screw loose, but then again, who doesn't? I don't really have any funny stories about them though, it's usually just stuff like my ex wandering away to an unknown location completely drunk with me having no idea what to tell her kids, or me lying in bed at night praying my girlfriend would be alive in the morning after a cutting fit. :powerlevel:

My ex's probably have funnier stories of me than I do of them.

 

[The Shadow]

I guess it's just understood these will all be mildly :powerlevel:

Well...ex and me go out for food. Have a great dinner. Ex was going to pay (I was unemployed at the time). Card is declined. Instead of asking me to pay, she starts loudly and publicly sobbing and apologizing. I have Hank Hill levels of discomfort with people expressing emotions other than laughter in public, so I'm mortified to be an accessory to this scene. I quietly passed the waitress my credit card and took care of it so I could get the hell out of there.

 

[NIGGO KILLA]

one day i was fuckin my GF

then i realized it was just my hand

 

[Globe]

sure i'll bite, though this is less crazy and more my own bad habits serving me with instant karma. This was back in high school me and my ex had just gotten done with a half hour or so of drunk/kinda stoned sex and I went off to the bathroom to flush the rubber (which maybe wasn't the smartest thing to do but when it came to her parents, destroying the evidence was more important than their plumbing).

When I come back she's flipped over on her side, still naked but with the sheet kinda covering her butt. Now, my ex was extremely ticklish and that little bottom cleft of her ass cheeks were a particularly sensitive spot, so before she even realizes i'm back in the room, I slip my hands under the sheet and start tickling. She of course spazzes and tries to wriggle away while laughing and cussing and threatening, but the problem is that her bed is backed right up against the wall so she really doesn't have anywhere to go and i'm not really the merciful type when it comes to tickling.

Her legs are thrashing pretty hard in all of this and as soon as I back away a few inches (purely just so I could get my hands to her sides, another sensitive spot) one of her feet flies directly into my face, hitting me hard enough to send me sprawling off the bed completely.

My ex played varsity soccer. She damn near broke my jaw.

 

[gumboman]

my school crush, finally proposed her , she said yes, just because she got confused with restaurant address she called me while driving & started shouting how I can't do anything properly & suddenly during all this erroneousltdrove off the bridge while I was on the phone .

I rushed to the spot but she had drowned by then

 

[jewelry investor]

my school crush, finally proposed her , she said yes, just because she got confused with restaurant address she called me while driving & started shouting how I can't do anything properly & suddenly during all this erroneousltdrove off the bridge while I was on the phone .

I rushed to the spot but she had drowned by then

Holy shit

 

[Sailor_Jupiter]

my school crush, finally proposed her , she said yes, just because she got confused with restaurant address she called me while driving & started shouting how I can't do anything properly & suddenly during all this erroneousltdrove off the bridge while I was on the phone .

I rushed to the spot but she had drowned by then

Please let this be fake. Please

 

[m0rnutz]

A kid in my freshman year got expelled because the day his girlfriend broke up with him, he caught her in the parking lot and tried to drag her to his truck. Ended up getting hit in the back of the head with a brick by his mom.

She later got a restraining order against him. Nigga was three years under her.

 

[gumboman]

Please let this be fake. Please

wish it was , her family & friends blamed me for her death , my school mates thought I caused her accident as I should have ended the call when she was driving

 

[Sailor_Jupiter]

wish it was , her family & friends blamed me for her death , my school mates thought I caused her accident as I should have ended the call when she was driving

Man, that's unbelievably horrible. Did you get counseling? That's some counseling-level crap there.

 

[gumboman]

Man, that's unbelievably horrible. Did you get counseling? That's some counseling-level crap there.

nah I cut off contacts from school friends ( left the Facebook page & stopped paying to alumni funds) . why should I blame myself

 

[Sailor_Jupiter]

nah I cut off contacts from school friends ( left the Facebook page & stopped paying to alumni funds) . why should I blame myself

Yeah, it's not your fault. Sometimes bad stuff just happens. No one's fault.

 

[Audit_The_Autist]

nah I cut off contacts from school friends ( left the Facebook page & stopped paying to alumni funds) . why should I blame myself

You sir have done mankind a favor. You have done your part as a mechanism of natural selection to remove people that can't drive properly from the gene pool.

 

[gumboman]

You sir have done mankind a favor. You have done your part as a mechanism of natural selection to remove people that can't drive properly from the gene pool.

what camera showed was that an animal jumped in front of vehicle since she was on phone she perhaps got shocked, I even heard last moment screams, schoolmates were calling me murderer on bloody facebook

 

[Audit_The_Autist]

what camera showed was that an animal jumped in front of vehicle since she was on phone she perhaps got shocked, I even heard last moment screams, schoolmates were calling me murderer on bloody facebook

If they're bothering you, just quit facebook. After all, anyone important enough to keep in contact with is probably worth communicating with over another platform.

 

[Dolphin Lundgren]

I don't have a crazy ex but my boyfriend had an ex who cheated on him multiple times in maybe 6 months until he dumped all her stuff out on the curb and kicked her out for good. She also was a junkie and got knocked up by another guy at some point after he broke up with her.
Fast forward to over ten years later and he ran into her again out of nowhere. She was still a junkie whore but now she was in some flop house and when she found out he had an apartment of his own she tried to get her way in to live there for free. He said no. She stayed at his place for one night because she had nowhere else to go and he slept in the other room with his wallet on him because he didn't want that bitch to steal his money.
He hasn't seen her since.

 

[Lunete]

I don't have any crazy ex's but I know some people who do. Like my cousin whose first husband was so controlling he stood in between her and her dying brother.