Creation Museums and Theme Parks -

[DykesDykesChina]

Sooner or later, every person who buys into "scientific creationism" in the Biblical literal sense (earth is 6000 years old etc.), will have to face a problem: Dinosaurs! No, not the fact that they died out (many animals did die out in historical times, such as the Dodo), but rather their ongoing high popularity with kids. Unfortunately, most exhibits, movies, museums etc. who cater to the dinosaur fan crowd follow Darwin closely, so children's love of the primeval giants may all to easily pull them away from the Holy Scriptures and into the infernal abyss of scientism. What to do? Well, easy enough: Let's create our own Biblical dinosaur museums and theme parks!!

The most famous (and largest) of these is probably Ken Ham's Creation Museum in Kentucky. Coming with state of the art edutainment technology such as animatronic dinos and biblical characters, a planetarium and multimedia displays, it is highly informative.

E.g., we learn:

Spoiler: ...that Adam and Eve were pretty hot stuff...

Spoiler: ...that animatronic Old Testament scenes are something that exists...

Spoiler: ...that the flood was very scary cuz Yahve was angry...

Spoiler: ...that T-Rexes ate pumpkins!

Spoiler: ...and that video games cause sexism due to the objectification of women.

Hm, wait, no... Lolcow mixup! But the message is similar in spirit.

Not resting on his laurels, Ken has gone on to construct a Noah's Ark Theme Park. It will open soon.

Spoiler: Boat

Of course, there is a great number of smaller offshoots of this type of museum.

Some are modest in size and 90ies-ish in web design.

Spoiler: ...but they all make sure that children learn the Biblical truth about their beloved Dinos.

Some have branched off into other scientific topics beloved by kids, such as space and astronomy.

Europe hasn't been spared.

Spoiler: Boris, the Special-Needs Dino.

Of course, we cannot finish without a nod to the retarded little brother of all creation museums: Dinosaur Adventure Land by "Dr."-must-not-drop-soap-Hovind.

Spoiler: Dinosaurs go RRROOOAAARRRR

Maybe Hovind (who has recently been released from Sing Sing) could assist Günter Tesch in building his Maradonia Adventure Park??

Many of these museums have bookstores you can visit on your way out. Don't forget to grab some nice dino books for the kids!

Spoiler: To be honest, a T-Rex-riding Messiah is a strong argument in favor of joining a religion.

 

[Ponderous Pillock]

Spoiler: ...that Adam and Eve were pretty hot stuff...

I saw this and this played in my head.

There is something hilariously creepy about creationist theme parks. It's like escapism in extremis and you just know the majority of the kids stuck going there would sooner sod off to a six flags then stand staring at creepy mannequins all day.

 

[Jewelsmakerguy]

I had a good laugh at this. I'd say "I find it hard to believe this stuff exists". But I'd be lying.

Love Boris though. Probably the biggest highlight.

 

[chimpburgers]

How many of these other places exist? Hearing the name Ken Ham really hit it home for me. It's classic batshit crazy but done in an even more unusual way.

 

[Bugaboo]

The 100 kids and counting people went to Ken Hamm's Creationist museum and I remember seeing a clip of it and hearing the mom say "this stuff is real because I can't believe that evolution happened because it makes no sense"
So she doesn't believe it because she doesn't understand it? I don't understand physics but physics still exsists.

 

[OtterParty]

5 Nights At Creation Museum when?

 

[MysticMisty]

Spoiler: To be honest, a T-Rex-riding Messiah is a strong argument in favor of joining a religion.

So if dinosaurs were apparently still running around in Roman times, when exactly did they become extinct? And what was the point then of Noah saving them if God just let them die out a few hundred years ago anyways? It would have been so much easier for them to say "Noah didn't save all the animals because God was unhappy with them."

The 100 kids and counting people went to Ken Hamm's Creationist museum and I remember seeing a clip of it and hearing the mom say "this stuff is real because I can't believe that evolution happened because it makes no sense"
So she doesn't believe it because she doesn't understand it? I don't understand physics but physics still exsists.

She doesn't understand because woman are only supposed to know how to cook, clean, and pop out babies.

 

[Optimus Prime]

What kills me is that dumb-ass Noah's Ark "park" is going to be the largest (or second largest, I am not certain which) attraction in all of Kentucky once it is finished.

I can only ask WHY THE FUCK is it in Kentucky? Put that shit in Montana or something, where everybody can forget it exists.

 

[Ponderous Pillock]

5 Nights At Creation Museum when?

Buddy Jesus jumps out at you when you forget to nail him to the crucifix properly...

 

[XYZpdq]

There's a bible theme park near me but they want money to get in so fuck it. The line between ironically enjoyable shit and shitty shit is exactly when they want me to pay for it.

 

[Sammy]

I live within a day trip's distance from Ken Ham's Creation Museum, so I've seen its majestic glory in person. That Buzzfeed article is pretty spot on. As goofy as it was to see God's Chosen riding on the backs of Triceratops all over the place, "The World of Sin" is what stuck with me most. I visited only a few years ago (so already an adult), so I can only imagine how traumatic and terrifying of an experience it would be for some young child.

The whole place had this air of trying to disprove typical conventions in science and, in general, indoctrination. Your usual museum trip is filled with interactive displays and fact sheets intended to inform and educate, usually just interesting data. You know, things like how much a T-Rex would have weighed, how many pounds of vegetation a Stegosaurus would have had to eat every day, how tall a Velociraptor actually was, what cold-blooded and warm-blooded mean, etc etc. If there were such fact sheets at the Creation Museum, they certainly weren't prominent or interesting enough to warrant me remembering them; all of the fact sheets simply seemed to be a bible passage, and then someone's (Ken Ham's maybe?) interpretation of what that passage means. Or, the fact sheet would present two contrasting points of view - "Man's World" and "God's World" usually, with how science says the earth is billions of years olds but the bible says its only 6000 years old, with arguments and biblical passages to support the later. It was all written like you should have gone to another museum first to learn all of the facts, and then gone to the Creation Museum to have those facts put into (the correct ) perspective using the bible. If you were some homeschooled child and your only museum going experience was the Creation Museum, you would learn very little actual facts and information about dinosaurs.

Also, good lord was it expensive. The entry fee was $30 per person. For contrast, the Cincinnati Museum Center, which is only about 30 minutes of a drive away from the Creation Museum, is half that price.

 

[c-no]

So if dinosaurs were apparently still running around in Roman times, when exactly did they become extinct? And what was the point then of Noah saving them if God just let them die out a few hundred years ago anyways? It would have been so much easier for them to say "Noah didn't save all the animals because God was unhappy with them."


She doesn't understand because woman are only supposed to know how to cook, clean, and pop out babies.

That sort of thing would have them either stutter as they try to make a justification or they would try to make some other claim. I remember seeing one claim at a creation museum saying dinosaurs still existed only as the reptiles we have today. That sort of thing can come off as contradictory since that means the dinosaurs actually undergone some sort of evolution.

How many of these other places exist? Hearing the name Ken Ham really hit it home for me. It's classic batshit crazy but done in an even more unusual way.

There exist one within California. Brief :powerlevel: but I know due to visiting one in the previous decade. It would no doubt have some relation to Ken Ham but then again, it was a forgettable experience.

 

[Billy_Sama]

If it wasn't for the overprice admission (what a great way to evangelize creationism), I always wanted to get baked/hammered and go to the Creation Museum and ride the dinosaurs and get kicked out and not give a damn.

 

[Wallace]

Also, good lord was it expensive. The entry fee was $30 per person. For contrast, the Cincinnati Museum Center, which is only about 30 minutes of a drive away from the Creation Museum, is half that price.

There is no profession quite as noble as fleecing spergs of their money.

 

[DykesDykesChina]

So if dinosaurs were apparently still running around in Roman times, when exactly did they become extinct?

They were hunted to extinction by Appalachian yokels.

 

[Durable Mike Malloy]

I tend to find crappy knockoff versions of real stuff disproportionately hilarious, and creationist museums really fit the bill. They're like someone took a real museum and stripped away everything except the administration, public displays, PR department, and the gift shop. At a real museum, that's only the tip of the iceberg. Most materials of cultural, historical and scientific value are held in collections behind the scenes, and even though some museums have public education or object conservation as their primary mission, almost every major museum is also a research institution.

When people pointed out that the Creation Museum in Kentucky was obviously a fake museum because it didn't support any research or have any collections, it responded by purchasing a large collection of insects privately assembled by a Kentucky exterminator. The guy apparently goes by "Dr. Crawley," which is rather wonderful, but I haven't confirmed if that's his real name or whether he has a PhD in anything.

The Creation Museum claims that the quality of its Insectorium rivals that of the Smithsonian, but that's tremendously disingenuous - they're only talking about the "quality" of their mounts on public display. The Smithsonian Department of Entomology not only supports a world-class staff with active research programs, but their collections are orders of magnitude more comprehensive and expertly conserved in ways that make them useful for scientific study.

At real museums, research curators are equivalent to university professors. At the Creation Museum, meanwhile, an animatronic character named "Dr. Arthur Pod" tells visitors that, due to the variation and complexity of insect species, they could not have evolved naturally and must have been created by God.

I'd compare the Creation Museum to a shitty dollar-store knockoff of a real museum, but as has been pointed out upthread, it's actually really expensive.

 

[Womacker]

Ken Hamm is the figurehead for Christians are anti-intellectual strawmen because he is so mind-bogglingly stupid. There are SO many ways to combine your faith and science and he neglects them all.

It just bothers me that this sort of behavior is exactly the reason that the Protestant and Reformed churches have a problem with the young adult and teenage demographic.

 

[Bugaboo]

I tend to find crappy knockoff versions of real stuff to be hilarious, and creationist museums really fit the bill. They're like someone took a real museum and stripped away everything except the administration, public displays, PR department, and the gift shop. At a real museum, that's only the tip of the iceberg. Most materials of cultural, historical and scientific value are held in collections behind the scenes, and even though some museums have public education or object conservation as their primary mission, almost every major museum is also a research institution.

When people pointed out that the Creation Museum in Kentucky was obviously a fake museum because it didn't support any research or have any collections, it responded by purchasing a large collection of insects privately assembled by a Kentucky exterminator. The guy apparently goes by "Dr. Crawley," which is rather wonderful, but I haven't confirmed if that's his real name or whether he has a PhD in anything.

The Creation Museum claims that the quality of its Insectorium rivals that of the Smithsonian, but that's tremendously disingenuous - they're only talking about the "quality" of their mounts on public display. The Smithsonian Department of Entomology not only supports a world-class staff with active research programs, but their collections are orders of magnitude more comprehensive and expertly conserved in ways that make them useful for scientific study.

At real museums, research curators are equivalent to university professors. At the Creation Museum, meanwhile, an animatronic character named "Dr. Arthur Pod" tells visitors that, due to the variation and complexity of insect species, they could not have evolved naturally and must have been created by God.

I'd compare the Creation Museum to a shitty dollar-store knockoff of a real museum, but as has been pointed out upthread, it's actually really expensive.

If they have a insect collection assembled by some random exterminator dude it's likely only got local insect specimens and perhaps a few exotic specimens that he aquired through the internet or whatever. Not that having a collection of local athropods isn't useful, the butterfly zoo near me has a large collection of local insects that were caught and mounted by students at the botanical garden outside and they use them to educate children and students at the school of horticulture. But having a collection of insects and saying "it rivals the Smithsonian" is plain old retarded

 

[Ghostapplesause]

Spoiler: Dinosaurs go RRROOOAAARRRR

Maybe Hovind (who has recently been released from Sing Sing) could assist Günter Tesch in building his Maradonia Adventure Park??

I like how this museum uses the Jurassic Park font when the movie had themes of evolution, cloning and genetic engineering contrary to creationism.

 

[ChurchOfGodBear]

What I can never understand is that there are legitimate scientific criticisms about evolution. There are gaps in the theory which do ask for further analysis. If you don't like the science of evolution, you can disagree with it with science. That doesn't mean evolution is wrong, just that it's subject to the same scrutiny as any other theory. This is how science works, you put your facts against someone else's and use logic to figure out what's missing.

Why you'd want to argue against established science using religion (and poorly-understood religion, at that) is beyond me. You're not even speaking the same language. It's like Brad Watson saying math is wrong because he likes 7s but not 2s.