Creepy children's toys thread - Why did they make this?

[Quijibo69]

One Christmas when I was like 7, I got this and I wanted to kill it with fire.

It's eye's glowed a creepy red color and I was scared it was going to come alive and kill me! I guess my parents got it for an older sibling years before and they were also scared shitless of it.

 

[Bassomatic]

Dear Mom and Dad, you tried and I love you but...

this is why I drink and cry myself to sleep every night.

Spoiler: in here horror awaits

 

[Squealer]

I was terrified of mars attacks as a kid

So my dad got me this thing. I wish I still have the video, because that was funny as hell to watch

 

[Coldgrip]

You know why they made toys like these? Because kids weren't pansies back then. Back then having dangerous moving parts was a sign that you could find dozens of awesome unintended uses for the thing and you'd be amused for hours. I wish kids nowadays had toys like these, it'd help the little bastards build their imaginations and weed out the stupid and weak ones.

Goddamn there were some great toys growing up.

 

[sapir&worf]

Not exactly a toy, but with this your kid can learn to shitpost while they learn to shit.

Spoiler: here there be large images

 

[Bugaboo]

Dear Mom and Dad, you tried and I love you but...

this is why I drink and cry myself to sleep every night.

Spoiler: in here horror awaits

I had one of these fuckers and I adored it to pieces as a child. I can't bring myself to find it scary as an adult because of it.
Mine is quite silly because I was a very squeamish child.
They made toys for Jurassic Park 3 and I loved dinosaurs so I had to have some! It really upset me that they had like, massive gashes in their sides with ribs sticking out. When you pushed one of the ribs the dinosaurs would roar or make whatever noise. I enjoyed them other than that one thing

Also I was legitimately terrified of a Woody the Cowboy doll and I don't remember the reason, I liked the movie a lot but the doll horrified me, I might have been 3 or 4.

 

[Curt Sibling]

View attachment 165604

I was terrified of mars attacks as a kid

So my dad got me this thing. I wish I still have the video, because that was funny as hell to watch

I have the laser gun with the pulsating brain feature. And you make me feel old, I was a grown man when this movie was out.

 

[Pina Colada]

This fucking doll gave me a whole new perspective on "the birds and the bees" before I even knew what that meant:

Spoiler: Slightly different Barbie, but you get the idea

 

[ToroidalBoat]

[spoilered]

Spoiler

Fun fact: the tapes had a stereo soundtrack. One channel was the regular audio, and the other were these odd low-pitched "pulses" that controlled the bear's mouth.

This fucking doll

wat

why would anyone make that for kids

 

[Dr.Research]

This fucking doll gave me a whole new perspective on "the birds and the bees" before I even knew what that meant:

I've read that a lot o people were skeezed out by Midge but she was one of my favorites. Maybe because she wasn't blonde like I wasn't. But then again Health class was always one of my favorites as a child.

Apparently there was some controversy because when the doll first was made she didn't have a wedding ring so certain people spazzed because having a child out of wedlock would make Midge a whore and influence their daughters accordingly. The later dolls, like mine, had a little gold band painted on her ring finger.

 

[cypocraphy]

Creepy in the sense that he murdered his girlfriend while high on coke and basically got away with it. I was oblivious to that for years and years.

 

[Coldgrip]

Also I was legitimately terrified of a Woody the Cowboy doll and I don't remember the reason, I liked the movie a lot but the doll horrified me, I might have been 3 or 4.

Spoiler: You have good reason to be terrified.

 

[XYZpdq]

Creepy in the sense that he murdered his girlfriend while high on coke and basically got away with it. I was oblivious to that for years and years.

The way that particular toy hops is goofy as fuck too.

 

[Coleman Francis]

Creepy in the sense that he murdered his girlfriend while high on coke and basically got away with it. I was oblivious to that for years and years.

That toy is even scarier in context!! Superfly Jimmy Snuka told that story on the Opie and Anthony radio show about how his girlfriend fell over, hit her head and later died from the injuries she sustained back in the early 1980's. Some people accused Jimmy since there were reports of domestic violence in the past regarding those two. It went to court and he was found innocent of the crime. I think he told the story about it on O&A in 2010 IIRC, but last year (maybe this year) a court found sufficient evidence to bring it back to court. This time around he was found guilty and is sitting in jail awaiting sentencing for the murder of his old girlfriend. That is a scary looking Mexican.

 

[meatslab]

My mom put up a shelf full of clown dolls like this one (and a hobo clown, and a clown with X's for eyes) in my room. Wee Slab liked clowns until the incident at the circus. So from then on out I had a big fear of clowns.

I didn't have the heart to ask my mom to take them out of my room because I didn't want to hurt her feelings since she bought them in the first place. I told her about this later and she laughed and said she would of taken them out if she knew they scared me.

 

[DrainRedRain]

Now you guys tell me, who in the fuck thought "ok, lets put a baby inside another baby, and then, a baby inside baby's baby." was a good idea? It's like babyception, it's horrible

Spoiler

 

[ToroidalBoat]

babyception

Remember when it was those innocent matryoshka dolls instead of freakish pregnancy stuff?

 

[Brit Crust]

This fucking guy. Who thought this was such a good idea?

When I was very young, I used to be very terrified of Thomas the Tank Engine. But for some reason I owned a couple of toys, specifically these:

 

[MerriedxReldnahc]

FURBYS.
I never liked toys that talked. There's just some kind of uncanny valley feeling about voices coming from inanimate objects, and I really don't want voices coming out of a fat technicolor budgie. I had to put it outside because it wouldn't stop talking to me in the middle of the night and I didn't have a Necronomicon handy.

 

[Coldgrip]

FURBYS.
I never liked toys that talked. There's just some kind of uncanny valley feeling about voices coming from inanimate objects, and I really don't want voices coming out of a fat technicolor budgie. I had to put it outside because it wouldn't stop talking to me in the middle of the night and I didn't have a Necronomicon handy.

No joke, but I remember reading in the manual that their image you appear faintly on certain types of TVs. Not sure how that works, but it was mentioned in I think the troubleshooting section of the instructions.