Cringiest Fedora "Religion?" - Because "I don't believe in God" isn't speshul enough

Qui Vive?

  • Flying Spaghetti Monster

    Votes: 33 19.4%
  • Hail Satan!

    Votes: 23 13.5%
  • Ackshyoually I'm a Buddhist and stuff

    Votes: 11 6.5%
  • Smoke Weed Every Day

    Votes: 8 4.7%
  • *screeching in Disney IP*

    Votes: 23 13.5%
  • Chakats are real!

    Votes: 2 1.2%
  • He can't keep getting away with it hurr hurr hurr

    Votes: 2 1.2%
  • Jesus was a Socialist / of course I haven't read the Bible

    Votes: 36 21.2%
  • "I take Amon Amarth way too seriously"

    Votes: 11 6.5%
  • Implying witchcraft is real

    Votes: 21 12.4%

  • Total voters
    170

Shaved Kiwis

Memetic Polyalloy
kiwifarms.net
Considering some would probably want Harry Potter to be canonized as a religion..

View attachment 828274
I never got into Harry Potter as a kid because even back then I knew that warlocks and witches were supposed to be all vile and Satanic not some goofy kids. But getting back to the main topic at hand I've been like half of these at one point or another. Most of them are pretty fucking awful so I don't think I can pick just one.

I forget there are "pagans" who aren't just people who like Bagpipes and drums a lot. Added.
Don't pretty much all pagans fall into one of two categories? The hippie dippie granola earth mother types and the "Christianity is a ZOG trick" lets get back to our unjewed pagan roots types.
 

Ped Xing

!Bigfoot! sightings please call 908-314-7784
kiwifarms.net
Don't pretty much all pagans fall into one of two categories? The hippie dippie granola earth mother types and the "Christianity is a ZOG trick" lets get back to our unjewed pagan roots types.
A while back I had one of my facebook friends ask me to teach them more about Tengriism, because I shared a bunch of Mongol Metal videos

As much as I enjoy me some throat singing and horsehead fiddle, I'm not about to start lobotomizing my way to believing that the number 40 is magic and huffing hash makes you see God
 

The Manglement

Some internet faggot
kiwifarms.net
It's not on the list, but I've always found the cringiest brand of atheism to be Ancient Aliens people, who don't believe in god, but aren't smart enough to admit that maybe it was just made up. I seriously saw that guy with the terrible hair on History Channel once try to argue that it was ridiculous that Thor could be a god, but he obviously must have existed because people told stories about him, so he must be an alien.

Also, please tell me that there are people who believe Chakats are real.
 

Sīn the Moon Daddy

🌙Be careful, Adam...
kiwifarms.net
A while back I had one of my facebook friends ask me to teach them more about Tengriism, because I shared a bunch of Mongol Metal videos

As much as I enjoy me some throat singing and horsehead fiddle, I'm not about to start lobotomizing my way to believing that the number 40 is magic and huffing hash makes you see God
The number 30 is magic and it's mushrooms. Also I may have been possessed during the experience and for several years afterwards.
 

Poiseon

I am literal poison.
kiwifarms.net
It's not on the list, but I've always found the cringiest brand of atheism to be Ancient Aliens people, who don't believe in god, but aren't smart enough to admit that maybe it was just made up. I seriously saw that guy with the terrible hair on History Channel once try to argue that it was ridiculous that Thor could be a god, but he obviously must have existed because people told stories about him, so he must be an alien.

Also, please tell me that there are people who believe Chakats are real.
This right here. The Ancient Aliens faggots. most annoying fucks on the planets, even beating out a lot of SjWs.

"But How did dey make da pieramids without alien tech, hur dur dur. We can't even do it with cranes today!!!"

As a close second, the SJWs faux religion as a whole.
 

ConfederateIrishman

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
A while back I had one of my facebook friends ask me to teach them more about Tengriism, because I shared a bunch of Mongol Metal videos

As much as I enjoy me some throat singing and horsehead fiddle, I'm not about to start lobotomizing my way to believing that the number 40 is magic and huffing hash makes you see God
At least Tengrism had a small amount of followers in Mongolia never leave it, which like Zoroastrainism immediately makes me take it way more seriously than these pagan "revivals" where they just make shit up then try to claim the heritage of two millenia dead ancestors who they are probably inadvertently insulting by doing so
 

Fagatron

ArchFedora
kiwifarms.net
"I'm a fifty year old white woman who's just gotten divorced and entered a mid-life crisis, a gay man who needs to feel extra special or a teenage girl with no freinds; this is the perfect time to realise I'm actually the chosen Prophetess of [Insert Celtic, Greek or Egyptian female deity here] and have magick powers"

I find the consistency of Wiccans both entertaining and depressing.
 
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