Cringiest Fedora "Religion?" - Because "I don't believe in God" isn't speshul enough

Qui Vive?

  • Flying Spaghetti Monster

    Votes: 32 18.9%
  • Hail Satan!

    Votes: 21 12.4%
  • Ackshyoually I'm a Buddhist and stuff

    Votes: 11 6.5%
  • Smoke Weed Every Day

    Votes: 8 4.7%
  • *screeching in Disney IP*

    Votes: 23 13.6%
  • Chakats are real!

    Votes: 2 1.2%
  • He can't keep getting away with it hurr hurr hurr

    Votes: 2 1.2%
  • Jesus was a Socialist / of course I haven't read the Bible

    Votes: 38 22.5%
  • "I take Amon Amarth way too seriously"

    Votes: 11 6.5%
  • Implying witchcraft is real

    Votes: 21 12.4%

  • Total voters


Mentally Disabled Schizoposter
True & Honest Fan
The Satanic Temple. They showed how far their exceptionalism was off the charts when they sued over the Baphomet statue in Netflix revival of Sabrina.

I think they all became meth addicts.

Paganism is the disembodied demons picking specific breeds of people to force human blood sacrifice worship.

Wiccan is Mother Earth spells and manipulation.

Satanism is balls out Satan is god and he destroys Christians, Jesus, and YHWH. (They seek out Christians to destroy) (baphomet is the leader. Azaziel's son. (Ba'al, Dagan and the greek gods) )

Luciferianism is worshiping the angel Lucifer. (And seeks out Christian traditions to destroy)

Aliens associate with Pagans and Satanists since their witches can summon them and demons.
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Meat Poultry Veg

The staff of life
the whole Witchcraft thing got big when Trump came into office so that.
Witchcraft comes and goes, but the temptation to consort with spiritual forces for some desired result is perennial. What's REALLY exceptional are those witches who deny the supernatural and are doing their thing just to be ethnic flavored anti-Christian. Like seriously if you want to get in touch with your Nordic side just listen to ABBA and shop at IKEA or some shit.

Syaoran Li

The Man In Black
True & Honest Fan
I'll go with @GethN7 and agree that Satanism in all of its forms is the worst. While not Satanic, I will include Thelema and Chaos Magic in this category since Aleister Crowley is a massive influence on Satanists of all stripes.

Secular humanism/militant atheism is the second-most cringe inducing, and third goes to a tie between SJW Wiccans and Nazi Norse Pagans.

There are Pagan groups who are actually fairly decent such as the Hellenic/Roman Reconstructionist groups and the Celtic Reconstructionists, since they're mostly just mildly eccentric history geeks and are mostly apolitical unlike Wicca or Norse Heathenry (the former being a magnet for SJW's and Radfems, the latter being a magnet for Alt-Right types)

Reconstructionist Pagans (excluding the Norse fags) are less "fedora/dangerhair edgelords" and more like if Civil War Reenactments were made into a religion, they're fairly harmless from my perspective.

Some of them do the historical reenactment/LARP stuff in their religions, others are just history geeks who feel a spiritual connection to a specific ancient culture.

At worst, they're glorified historical reenactors and at best, they're a sincere yet eccentric fringe religion. They can be cringe inducing sometimes, but not on the same levels as Satanists, Wiccans, Nazi Vikings, or Euphoric Atheists.


Living dead girl
True & Honest Fan
Looking at the poll, is there seriously someone out there that worships Chakats?

The Grognard

kjeh kjeh räh
Poll lacks the "Spiritual but not religious" types, but I guess they aren't as annoying as much as these other groups.
I've met a couple of REALLY serious Civil War reenactors that treat it as a serious lifestyle identity thing. Almost a religion.
I don't know much about reenacting, but I've spent time with the Society for Creative Anachronism. In that, you're supposed to make a name and character for the big events. It's mostly just a name to go with the period you focus on to help create the illusion. Likewise, they make faux-Medieval names for their organization positions and districts, like having a "King of Meridies" (who's basically just the SCA regional president for the Southeast).

At one feast, a woman told me about how she likes the SCA because she feels like she gets to be her true self, unlike the dull life of being an office worker/secretary type.

It struck me as kind of sad, and while I think most of the people there are just there to make crafts and beat each other with wooden swords, but I feel like that reveals a lot about it. People are attracted to it as a form of escapism, where they want to escape their unsatisfactory real lives by roleplaying as successful people from another age. That's why they have a rule that every member's character is aristocracy (no burghers or peasants).

I could imagine that a lot of reenactors are the same way, the only difference with them being that they have more social respectability just because they "reenact" battles from their own culture, even though the reenactments have fuck all to do with reality (show me a reenactment that has thousands of men coordinated by drummers and bombarded with some sort of fake artillery, perfectly retracing the movements of the real-life units on the exact same terrain).