Criteria for Automatic Failure - If you fuck these up I will delete your thread.

  • The site was compromised. (Initial announcement) (What to do) (A post about feelings)
    This announcement will be removed when I (hopefully) finalize my audit either today or tomorrow. I will follow it up with a mass email to all users linking the information in this announcement. So far, there has been no subsequent release of data.
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Null

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kiwifarms.net
These are the criteria for automatic failure.

1. You fuck up the title.
The title is, very specifically,
First Name / Second Name / Alias / Alias / Alias
The placement of spaces is important.

Why? Because if you do not place the forward slash with spaces on either side, it implies OR, not AND. First Name/Second Name implies that the person's name is "First Name Name" or "First Second Name". This can be used that way, such as "Jane Doe/Smith / Alias" means that the person has the name Jane Doe, but also goes by Jane Smith; perhaps that is her maiden name. The Alias is another name entirely. Pipelines and backward slashes are not accepted and you are not fucking special: use a fucking forward slash.

I am extremely anal about the titles. If you don't at least make the effort to do this like I want it, I am not going to make the effort to fix your post for you. If the naming situation is very hard to pin down, I will help. If it's not, I won't. Do your best.

Further, the title is only for aliases. The subtitle box is for an optional clincher sentence (see 3). The wiki box is only for a link to an existing Lolcow Wiki article, nothing else. If there is no Wiki article, do not put anything in this box.


2. You do not archive.
Every link, every link, needs to be archived.
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/archival-tools.6561/

I am not your nigger and will not do this for you. Neither will the mods. Archive your own fucking links. If the person reads this forum they may delete shit by the time someone gets around to doing it for you.


3. Your first sentence does not explain why the person is a lolcow.
In writing, this is called a clincher. The first sentence of any book or essay is frequently the most important. It is the reason to keep reading. In simple English, your introductory sentence should explain exactly who the person is and why they deserve a thread.

If you can't figure this out, your person probably isn't a lolcow. If you can't even figure out why you think they're worth talking about, they're probably not.

Additionally, upload all images to the site. Do not use Imgur or Mixtape or any other service as they can delete the images.

Following these items will probably make your post good enough to have users invest time in reading your thread.
 
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