Careercow Curtis Adams / Unkle Adams - Delusional, wholesome white rapper who's deeply in debt.

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Barrister

Legal Council for the Epic Department
kiwifarms.net
Uhmazin'. Based Unk has done it again.

"Hit me up for those interviews" 🎵
I listened to it this morning, and I was originally impressed with the beat until I found out he got it from an Eminem song. Unk never ceases to disappoint.

I find it interesting that literally all he makes songs about is how allegedly skilled he is at rapping. Eminem, as a contrasting example, really only had- at most- one or two of those kinds of songs per album. The remaining songs would detail his regular life, his past, or simply his struggles as an artist. I'm completely serious when I say that, in my opinion, the only way Unk will ever have a chance to grow into his own as a rapper is to go through a period of at least moderate hardship. Otherwise he simply will keep producing the same piece over and over again until the day he dies.
 

infatuation

a tooth for an eye
kiwifarms.net
Sound the horns! Follow Me Around At Least A Million Mission #31 has finally arrived, and is as lackluster as always.


- Curtis begins his video by shilling himself to Spotify Canada, as they've never added him to a Curated playlist. Asks everyone to spam their Instagram comments in the hopes that they'll check him out and add him to a playlist.
- He and Hannah go to Value Village. Neither of them know that Value Village originated in America, saying that they have no idea if Americans have them.
Bonus Unk fact: the suit worn in the Original music video came from Value Village.
- Curtis goes on about some shirt printing business that printed some UA shirts back in the day that printed some wonky shirts and poor Curt had to get them re-done which (presumably) caused the business to lose money, later stating the business is no longer.
- The two lovebirds go to Wascana Park, giving a boring tour, again admitting they don't know too much. Curtis goes on about how he shoots quite a few of his music videos there.
- "Only I'm allowed to push Unkle Adams"
- Curtis confirms that he's (finally) in the process of booking live shows and doing a tour.
- The video ends with Curtis and his dearly beloved Tim Horton's steeped tea and shilling AGAIN to Spotify, saying that some artists there have less listeners than he does and that they're on the playlist but poor little independent artist Unkle Adams is not and should be.

Also Hannah swears a lot in this video.
 
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neural

MovieBahb ォ運ム
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I'm completely serious when I say that, in my opinion, the only way Unk will ever have a chance to grow into his own as a rapper is to go through a period of at least moderate hardship.
He's making the music before the hardship.
 

Truthspeaker

Walking that line between victim and ex-lover
kiwifarms.net
I really don't get this guy.

It's one thing to try to make it as a family-friendly rapper, but everyone who's ever made it like that was better looking and more interesting than Unk.

That said, all hope's not lost for him. If he ever learns to feel shame, to live within his means, and how to rap an actual story -- which even mediocre guys in the '80s could do, the ALAM project was a pathetic and embarrassing enough failure to actually make for good material.

He wouldn't even need to drop any vulgarities in it. Although I've never understood that mentality. Rap without vulgarities is like beer without alcohol.
 

KillThemCrackasBabies

kiwifarms.net
I really don't get this guy.

It's one thing to try to make it as a family-friendly rapper, but everyone who's ever made it like that was better looking and more interesting than Unk.

That said, all hope's not lost for him. If he ever learns to feel shame, to live within his means, and how to rap an actual story -- which even mediocre guys in the '80s could do, the ALAM project was a pathetic and embarrassing enough failure to actually make for good material.

He wouldn't even need to drop any vulgarities in it. Although I've never understood that mentality. Rap without vulgarities is like beer without alcohol.
I don't know, he could likely do whatever Mike Shinoda is doing now, that weird clean credibility-free pop rap.
 

Truthspeaker

Walking that line between victim and ex-lover
kiwifarms.net
I don't know, he could likely do whatever Mike Shinoda is doing now, that weird clean credibility-free pop rap.
Mike Shinoda can do whatever he wants. I never liked Linkin Park, but they were one of the biggest bands in the history of the world. Once you make it, that dramatically changes the options available to you; and this'd be the case even if Shinoda wasn't significantly more musically talented than Unk in every way, which he's been since well before he made it big.

Andrew Huang is a better example. He's also a Youtube celebrity who makes vulgarity-free rap, but he's so much more talented and interesting than Unk, it'd take at least a decade of serious musical study before he could approach him.

Will Smith is closer to Kendrick Lamar than Curtis Adams is to Andrew Huang. And that's before you take into account that Huang's also better looking than Unk, and has been earning an actual profit off his music career since Paul Martin was Prime Minister.
 

KillThemCrackasBabies

kiwifarms.net
Mike Shinoda can do whatever he wants. I never liked Linkin Park, but they were one of the biggest bands in the history of the world. Once you make it, that dramatically changes the options available to you; and this'd be the case even if Shinoda wasn't significantly more musically talented than Unk in every way, which he's been since well before he made it big.
I actually did like a lot of Linkin Park for a long time and I thought he used to be way better at the shit he's doing now when he did it years ago. Fort Minor was widely expected to be a catastrophic embarrassment ("The Linkin Park rapper is trying to make an entire album himself?!") and it came out great, but it's been nothing but step down after step down ever since.

But you know what this Huang person has me thinking of? The fucking Epic Rape Battles of History. Unk should just offer to be one of their regulars for pocket change. It'd be a wider viewership and they're taken about as seriously as he is now trying sincerely.
 

Truthspeaker

Walking that line between victim and ex-lover
kiwifarms.net
But you know what this Huang person has me thinking of? The fucking Epic Rape Battles of History. Unk should just offer to be one of their regulars for pocket change. It'd be a wider viewership and they're taken about as seriously as he is now trying sincerely.
He's underqualified. Even the goofiest ERBs have to both tell stories and commit to characters, which I've never seen Unk do once.*

Sure, you could argue plenty of rappers made it without either of those abilities, but most of those guys made it because they were good-looking enough to sexually satisfy some pervy old queen or another with money and connections.* * Unk isn't hideous, but he's nowhere near good looking or charming enough to take advantage of this loophole.

* If he has, I'd be curious to hear it. But I don't spend much time listening to Unkle Adams deep cuts, because his singles have uniformly been lame as balls, and I already don't have enough time to listen to music that actually interests me.

* * Heterosexuals aren't above this --
How else do you think Iggy Azalea matched one of The Beatles Billboard records? -- but that wouldn't be an option even if there were as many lonely middle-aged women with money and connections in showbusiness as there are pervy old queens.
 
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infatuation

a tooth for an eye
kiwifarms.net
Get your popcorn and soda ready, it's another Follow Me Around At Least A Million Mission, now at #38 episodes.



- Curtis begins with yet another humblebrag over his very expensive custom made Spotify plaque, which at this point, has become his Sonichu medallion.
- Starts shilling these god awful poorly designed "Unkpossible" t-shirts.
Screen Shot 2019-06-19 at 7.53.56 pm.png
- Unkpossible explained: "So obviously it's the word impossible with Unk on the front because what I'm doing a lot of people think it is impossible. A lot of people think that the At Least A Million Mission is an impossibility and it'll never be accomplished, so that shirt is a play on that and it might be impossible to you but it's possible to me. Anything is possible to me, that's just how I see things. That's how I choose to live my life. I'd rather look at things on the positive side than the negative side, optimistic over pessimistic and Unkpossible is like the symbolism of that."
- Announces plans to head back to the studio, and that he's very excited to record this track, having been the most excited to record since the recording of Original.
- Believes it's gonna be a hit lol.
- Is apparently going back on the cover of QC, a local magazine, having been on it before back in 2014. (note: it's in the background of some very early UA videos and yes, it's framed. "It was my first big write up, so I framed it all.")
- Curtis brings up that he's sick of Interviewers asking him about the "haters" and his debt, ironic as he has done at least 5 interviews since the mission begun over a year ago, having turned down numerous requests for legitimate interviews.
- "What about the accomplishments? Did you hear that I got million streams? Did you hear that I reduced my debt by half? Did you know when I go out in public people recognize me all the time? Did you know that I have record label A&R's phone numbers in my phone right now?"
- Goes after smaller artists who don't say or do anything controversial, saying people won't want to interview them because what's the point? then he straight up alludes to dropping diss tracks.
- It's been assumed that he may have caught wind of former friend from the "Dark Unk" days "Spyte" – the person being dissed in the treasured track "Hey Faggot" – who had been talking about him VERY unfavorably.
- Brags about taking 6 multivitamins a day... and a morning Timmies of course!
- SHILLING AGAIN but this time for his worst album, Planting Seeds, on green vinyl. (note: this is the second time he's run a crowdfund for Planting Seeds, the first one having failed miserably with you guessed it – 0 pledges.)
- “Because it's going to be rare, there's only going to be a couple hundred of these ever made and I would recommend keeping it in the plastic if you get one […] I believe that these records are going to increase in value. I do because there's only so many of them made and I'm only going to get bigger, so what I'm doing here in a way is I'm trying to give you value - I'm trying to give the people who believe in me value. I want there to be a return on investment on this record, like I want you to buy it for the price now and then I'm gonna work my ass off in the music industry like I already do to get bigger and bigger and bigger so that you have a unique item, a rare Unkle Adams item that is worth more and more and more as the years go by, so you can get a return on that investment.”
- Clothes Washing Tips With Unkle Adams!
- Shows everyone his idols that he has plastered above his window. Les Brown, Earl Nightingale, Nikola Tesla, Muhammad Ali, Napoleon Hill, Nelson Mandela & Arnold Schwarzenegger, respectively.
- Curtis finally takes us, Hannah-less this time, on a tour to the North of Dewdney (note: it's also the name of the "Dark Unk" album that leaked last year.)
- Goes on about his battle rap beginnings, saying he still has it in him to start battle rapping again. “I don't battle anymore but I could so be careful. I still have that ability in me, just because I don't do it and choose not to doesn't mean I can't do it.”
- Addresses the N.o.D. album and "Hey Faggot" track leak of last year: “Some people go back to my older songs, they've dug them up they put them on YouTube and they're like oh Unk was like this, so he can't be positive now, and duh, but here's what you gotta understand. I was in a totally different state of mind, a drunken state of mind most of the time back then, I was like 20, 21 years old, and I was modelling myself after the shock factor method of rappers right [like] Eminem, D12, Howard Stern the radio guy, he did shock factor where you just you say the most horrific stuff to try to get attention."
“it doesn't mean that what you're saying is anything you believe in, is anything that is real, is anything that you stand for or that you would do in your day-to-day life, it's just stuff you're saying to be crazy to try to get people talking about you.”
- Presumably goes on about Spyte having spoken poorly of him in a livestream late last year:
“Oh my god and people from the past especially man, they're the worst ones. You know strangers on the internet is one thing, but I find these people from my past are the most jaded, jealous, vengeful, envious people man, they do some things, they say some things, they slander me, whatever. It's like dude, I changed my life and I'm positive now and like why are you being like that still, like why is it the envy of mankind, Is it because you gave up on rap and music and nobody knows who you are and people are starting to know me all over the world. You know my music is streamed in 63 countries all over the world, my god I got millions of streams, is that why you hate or do you hate because you're basing your thoughts of me on 20 year old me? You know this is a lot of years later man, this isn't over over a decade later, people grow, people change, people evolve. Let it go man. If I ever said something to you that offended you or we had a beef or something like you got to let that go man.”
- "I'm like the black sheep of the music industry man. I’m the biggest rapper in Regina and that's a fact. I don't care I don't care what any you say I'm the biggest rapper in Regina and I don't hang out with any Regina rappers and that's why, because I distance myself, went to the Internet, did my own thing.“
- Was apart of a rap group called Speech Therapy many years ago, that later imploded due to internal negativity within the group, causing Curtis to branch out on his own.
- You can't be successful without being popular online! No one will care about you unless you're verified on social media! No one will care unless you have a million streams on Spotify!
- “At least have some sort of an online presence, because what good is it you perform at all these places, but yet still nobody knows who you are you know, you're not verified on social media, [...] you don't have a million anything you know, and I'm not saying that comes easily or whatever but I'm just saying man it's a different world now.”
- Goes on about how Original was a "marketing strategy" that we all fell for.
- “Once I released Original, which was a strategy to get attention, which was me being goofy, me dancing around, me doing a kind of hip hop song that I felt had never been heard before, but was also fun and was also catchy and that kind of gave me like a bad reputation in a lot of ways, because that was people's introduction to me you know, it worked from a marketing standpoint, I always talked about this, but then a lot of people were like who is this idiot, oh my god look at this guy and then you know, the other half of people who watched it were just saying oh this is fun, funny, this is catchy whatever this guy isn't serious, ah but anyway, it created a lot of negativity around you know, a lot of that's changed now, a lot of that change right like, I did an interview with Anthony Fantano, I think people got to got to know me through that, and see a different side of it. A lot of its changed, but people out there that judge me just from that song need to chill and need to look deeper into the story and realize that there's a lot more to this than just that one song.”
- Wraps it up saying as an independent artist, he doesn't need anybodies help! He'll just figure it out as the Unkle Adams ship sinks ever so much more deeper.
 

ddlloo

kiwifarms.net
>worships Nelson Mandella

I legit couldn't get over that part. I always assumed Nelson Mandella fanboiness was a media driven meme. How anyone can respect him is beyond me.
 

Barrister

Legal Council for the Epic Department
kiwifarms.net
>worships Nelson Mandella

I legit couldn't get over that part. I always assumed Nelson Mandella fanboiness was a media driven meme. How anyone can respect him is beyond me.
If you check out the line of "inspirational person" photos he has hung on his wall, you'll notice that they are all extremely popular (and relatively safe, by normie standards) "underdog" figures. Considering his repertoire includes the likes of Tesla and Gandhi (the latter, you may recall, was a virulent racist who slept with teenagers), his inclusion of Mandela is fairly predictable.
 

ddlloo

kiwifarms.net

Unk hit's another track out of the park.

Spoiler Alert: Same shit as 70% of his other songs, all about who he is, how the record labels have fucked up not signing him, and how he's going to make it big.
 

KillThemCrackasBabies

kiwifarms.net

Unk hit's another track out of the park.

Spoiler Alert: Same shit as 70% of his other songs, all about who he is, how the record labels have fucked up not signing him, and how he's going to make it big.
This one's actually kind of uncomfortable to listen to it's so shitty.
 

ddlloo

kiwifarms.net
This one's actually kind of uncomfortable to listen to it's so shitty.
I can normally listen to his songs on repeat because they are so inoffensive and make me smile because of the story behind them. I agree about this one though, it's pretty awful. The intro is awful, the distilled Unkness of the lyrics is awful, and 'cabbage' should not be used in any song ever and yet I'm sure Unk was so proud of that rhyme.
 

infatuation

a tooth for an eye
kiwifarms.net
So you guys know the bottle cap challenge? the one where you kick a cap off a bottle? well our pal Curtis tried his hand at this challenge, destroying the original original prop vinyl while doing so.

















He ended up deleting the tweets relating to this, apparently following up the video with a (deleted) tweet saying "Don't worry guys, the record was a prop!" or something like that.

In other Dirty Curtis news, he's made a Cameo where he's very much over estimated his worth, charging a steep $25 for a short video, most of which, are troll videos. Though, he has declined quite a few videos, mostly due to "sensitive" themes and OriginalPosting related mishaps.

Also, unsure if this has been posted in the thread before, but here's a rare Unk video where he asks for people not to blame him for slavery, you know because It. Was. Not. Him.
 
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