Skitzocow Dana Marie Cain / Oracle of Venus / The Scorpion - Divorced Batshit Space Demon Waitress with NPD, Gangstalked by Alphabet Agencies, "Pretending to be Rеtarded", #SaveJoelIrish

CrazyAsHell

Tami Hess
kiwifarms.net
Blah, blah. She can find out anything about anyone. We need to put ourselves in her shoes. Still thinks that we hate her. Got nothing to do with hate, DD. We don't like people who LIE. Who cheat on their husbands. Who make death threats against other people. But....on the other side of the coin, we love the entertainment all that shit brings so we find ourselves between a rock and a hard place.

We did not "dox" you. You doxed yourself. All your videos talking crazy bullshit got you here. Your DUI's and DRUG CHARGES got you here. You say you don't care what we think, yet you keep making mounds of vids proving that to be completely wrong and is of NO "sign" of your "Innosense". Dumb bitch, there are PUBLIC RECORDS of your bullshit. You don't have a side. They are ALL YOUR WORDS. If RNGM can't see your own videos and words and say to himself, "WTF", then he is a fucking idiot and deserves you. We don't want him to dump you, DD. Hell, we are looking forward to the fallout from this bad idea. This summer should be super fun! We think, in your words, that you two are just "adorbs"!

FYI: she has comments back on. She thinks that there is no information on the web about RNGM. We need to be aware......it's dangerous for us to do so. LOL.....DD we all know you think all this shit is true, but for us sane folks, get meds. No matter what RNGM does, she will never let him go.

Then....the REAL reason she is with him......due to his back injury, he is on "all kinds of medicines" that SHE can help him with. Hints that his family may not think much of DD. Maybe they did their homework! However, she comes from the right side of the tracks and is of "high quality". In fact, he and his family need to be thankful for him being able to "land" (how many men have landed her? Recent count anyone?) her. You can tell there is trouble in paradise because you start to hear the agitation in her voice talking about this. My guess is someone in his family is having an issue with this bitch. She is super powerful and that causes lots of haters and shit. Mentions if someone is "looking into her background" and I would guess a family member came across either this thread or her arrest records.

Says that she should not be judged based on her background. It is Skip and Joel's fault she is targeted. All you have to do is look at her face (sunk in like the crypt keeper) and her eyes to know she is nobility and, damnit, she will be treated like such. Sounds like she is digging her nails into RNGM because there is trouble in redneck land. Makes a vague threat that she will not allow anyone to come between her and her garbage man. Says if Joel does not "repent" then he is going to die. More she is the victim bullshit. My god, DD, you turn my stomach. Tells people not to believe everything written here. Hummm....dumbass.....ALL YOUR WORDS. Directly from YOUR VIDEOS. LOL. We better NOT dig too deep on Michael and posted it. Better not use his last name (already did).

I HOPE his family found this thread and I suspect they have. It is just crazy how this bitch can't keep her fucking mouth closed and ends up involving anyone associated with her into her fucking make-believe world. Any decent family is going to say..... hey, get rid of this fucking retarded, big-mouthed bitch.
 

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CrazyAsHell

Tami Hess
kiwifarms.net
Michael LOVES her vids. They make him horny. Fucking her energizes him. Broke back or not....he can still pump like a motherfucker. She has cured his wanting to kill himself. She doesn't recommend taking @SeniorFuckFace on their offer of asking questions. Won't do any good anyway. No one can convince RNGM to "turn" on her. She is REALLY worried someone is gonna check out this site. I don't blame her. With all the vids we have of her, it's pretty telling. Dana, coming from a very serious place here, you have made your bed. These are YOUR words; not ours. Anything posted comes from the videos you have made and continue to make (like a fucking idiot).

Admits she was arrested and that she has a warrant in TX. She explains her one-sided fight with Skip. Of course, it was all his fault. What she doesn't tell ya is that the warrant is for DEATH THREATS to her ex-husband and Steph. These too are documented WELL here with her videos actually making the threats. DD don't forget your warrant in IL cause you skipped out on your DUI. Right along with the last year arrest for DUI and DRUGS.

She warns whoever in RNGM's life who is clearly trying to talk some sense into him not to come here. It will do them no good anyway because he will stay loyal to her.

EDIT: she has since removed this vid
 
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CrazyAsHell

Tami Hess
kiwifarms.net
In case you are a friend or family member of Dana's boyfriend and you came here looking for proof of her mental health, I have attached some of my "Dana freaking out" and "Dana in Danaverse". You're welcome

FYI: last vid is her admitting to already stalking one man to the point where he needed a restraining order.
 

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CrazyAsHell

Tami Hess
kiwifarms.net
"Take down that thread..."

"That thread does not matter..."

DANA, how about GO FUCK YOURSELF!

View attachment 2240740
After 2+ years of making threats, does she think that because Broke Back Mike is making threats through her that will change anything here? If that fucking idiot sees her as a goddess, he is dumber than I thought. Null is in FL with his mom and there is a possibility I am his mom........WTF? I also live in FL. Good guess....but nah. She makes a veiled threat to @Null and his mom.

Says we went after her kids. Did I miss that day? Hey DD.....2 of YOUR KIDS are members who actually write here about you. More "considering who Mike is". Same shit she used to say about herself yet never says what makes them so special.
 

SuzyCC

kiwifarms.net
After 2+ years of making threats, does she think that because Broke Back Mike is making threats through her that will change anything here? If that fucking idiot sees her as a goddess, he is dumber than I thought. Null is in FL with his mom and there is a possibility I am his mom........WTF? I also live in FL. Good guess....but nah. She makes a veiled threat to @Null and his mom.
I really still want to hear her explanation of how we "went after her kids." The original poster declined to name tem, as a matter of fact. A few of her kids showed up here voluntarily, Dana will never reaiize that if you post videos pubicly , then the public is perfectly free to talk about them. We can't help what comes out of her mouth and that it's so damn entertaining (if annoying at the same time.)
 

SeniorFuckFace

Fucking Fuck Fuck
kiwifarms.net
The curve she is trying to ahead of is GarbageMike's sister, Barb.


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CrazyAsHell

Tami Hess
kiwifarms.net
Looks like she is also getting some pushback from his father, maybe? Glad RNGM has a family member trying to look out for him. I wouldn't want my brother tangled with a bitch who has physically assaulted an ex-husband and has a warrant out in another state for death threats. I noticed too that all that shit she tagged him in is not on his FB.

Edit: @SeniorFuckFace totally agreed. Barb is a big player and a HUGE threat to Dana. Her delusions on this level are very interesting. She says in her last video that Mike "put the word out" that she is his and no one better approach her...all of this before she even knew he existed. It's either that or he has the same mental illnesses as she does.
 
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SeniorFuckFace

Fucking Fuck Fuck
kiwifarms.net
Looks like she is also getting some pushback from his father, maybe? Glad RNGM has a family member trying to look out for him. I wouldn't want my brother tangled with a bitch who has physically assaulted an ex-husband and has a warrant out in another state for death threats.
It feels more like she is dragging him in as a means to manipulate Barb:

"YOU BETTER FUCKING SUPPORT ME OR YOU WILL DESTROY YOUR FATHER'S LINEAGE! DO YOU WANT TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR THAT?!"

This is just straight-up disgusting:

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He must have sat their while masturbating and Dana, smilingly with her head cocked, looking down upon him.

This is a power trip, she has to control him as she had remarked, "Michael could not get it up for other women, but I could,,,"

And her value of sex to her is utterly disproportionate, so much in fact that she finds it a positive contribution to share with others and publicize it.

That plays into her personal delusions of grandeur as the MERE SIGHT OF HER CAN TURN MEN UNCONTROLLABLE...how fuck up is that...

With Barb in play, she might lose, this is her last shot and she knows it.

This relationship justifies her existence. Proves everything is correct.

She will do everything to sustain this relationship. This is ALL OR NOTHING...and we get to watch.
 
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naught sock account 1

KILL COUNT: 3
kiwifarms.net
In which Dana retcons Joel as gay, advocates for conversion therapy as long as it means she gets to bang someone, the Bananalore comes out (LOL) as it becomes painfully obvious that Dana knows literally nothing about gays and is just gambiting that Joel won't be killed by Mike if she says he's gay. (8/10) Dana is awkward as all Hell, somehow manages to fuck up her lore even worse than it was already.
No description, comments and ratings disabled.
Dana fucks around with filters or something, the lighting just looks to bizarre and inorganic.
(Lots of Banana sperging ahead...)
"Inanna... the ancient Sumerian, Mesopotamian, goddess of love, wisdom, war, sex, beauty..." - Dana, who embodies zero of these traits.
Banana ruled the world before she got demoted or something. (I wonder if Dana got fired and this is how she's reacting?)
Fuck the Greeks, taking jobs from honest hardworking whores like Banana!
"She was the consort of kings..." - Dana, who fucked a lot of truckers, so I guess it's a fair comparison...
Banana is the best OC.
Banana = Venus "Because it's the planet"
Banana is the literal planet, which is alive in the Danalore.
(Dana seems really fucking nervous about something.)
How the fuck does a god have a maiden name? Care to explain that, Dana?
Everything the light touches is/was/fucked Banana's kingdom.
Title drop from Dana "Dildo Jamboree" Marie
Banana is really bad at writing contracts, homosexuality is just a loophole in the Danaverse. (Amongst other holes...)
Priests of Banana are married to the goddess Banana. (Wait, doesn't that technically make Dana a lesbian?)
"However, they could have sex with each other..." - Dana "Sodomy" Marie
Dana pulls a J.K. Rowling, EVERYONE IS GAY IN THE PREISTDOM OF BANANALAND.
"Sex with the high priestess, was reserved for kings..." - Dana "TrashMistress" Marie
(Wow, your fake religion is just a pretense for a whorehouse, isn't it, Dana?)
Dana once again can't decide if she means Banana or her priestess.
Cribbing notes from the Bible again.
Marduk sperging.
Banana was a psycho, basically condemned this guy she fucked once to Hell for no reason other than she's an idiot who can't solve her own shit. (SOUNDS A LITTLE FAMILIAR...)
More pre-Bible sperging about shepards and shit, Dana knows so little about the Bible that she's either taking "The Lord is my shepard" literally, or just can't even remember anything about it.
"And, I just read an article, that NASA is planning, finally! To send a mission to Venus." - Dana, unaware that the first successful lander mission took place in 1972 and taking shit out of context
Dana apparently does know about the USSR missions?
"Well, the Russians were quietly sending orbiters to Venus..." - Dana, who is less subtle than a Soyuz rocket
The Russians (Read: ALL RUSSIANS EVER) know about Dana because they had a space program.
Dana wishes people noticed her while making shit up about how everyone was spying on her retarded ass.
"And I got noticed. At the top. Don't let em' fool you. Do not let anyone tell you differently." - Dana "тупая шлюха" Marie
"Why would I say things like this if it weren't true?" (Because you're a narcissist and a pathological liar who couldn't impress anyone and knows it?)
You'd have to be insane to be as dangerously retarded as Dana is for lying, according to Dana.
If you actually have top secret information there is clearly no danger whatsoever in telling people.
(Hey Mike, if you want to put some haloperidol in her magic mug of Irish coffee, it might not go amiss.)
"All those Venusians over at NASA..." (WTF?)
If NASA is smart, they'll listen to a meth addict on her couch blab on about how her snatch sees more action than the Superbowl.
"Get your ass up there to Venus..." - Dana "Schizoenegger" Marie
"Because, well..." - Dana, displaying her trademark management style of being clueless
"Putin's rise to power, was no accident..." (Let me guess, he's a spaceman from Bananaland?)
The US is losing power because Dana hates Mars.
This somehow loops back to Banana being the OG gay icon.
"This brings me back to Joel..." - Dana, who never left
Joel has been seen cruising gay bars, according to Dana's imaginary spy network.
Dana does gaydar. (So wait, Dana concocted a fake relationship from that one time she had a male friend who was gay? Man, that's pathetic.)
The Mormons don't like gays, Dana is fine with gay conversion because it implies that she could have married Joel and made him straight.
Imagine Dragons sperging.
Dana is referring to her own life events as a "saga", still jealous of CwC, Dana?
Dana pretends to care about a famous person's opinion on religion. (What about the position of the cult of Banana?)
"We have a lot of gay Mormons who are living inauthentic lives, married, they even have kids." - Dana, probably trying a gambit to call Skip a faggot for also being married and having kids with a woman
Dana seems really uncomfortable explaining how gays work.
Dana "J.K. Rowling" Marie has now completely retconned Joel as gay.
"And yet, he was attracted to me..." - Dana, who doesn't understand how gays work
(Yes, Dana is partaking in the exact same conversion therapy that she said was bad because some guy in a band said so.)
Joel wanted to pity-marry Dana. According to Dana.
Dana's power level was increasing, but it wasn't enough for gay dudes to be interested in her mannish face.
"My mother had, a similar ability, to... turn gay men straight, at least for her." - Dana "Conversion Therapy" Marie
(I guess bisexuals don't exist in the Danaverse, because every priest of Banana was 100% gay despite being symbolically married.)
Dana's mother was a whore too.
"And, this guy, his name was Michael..." *Ass-eating smirk*
Gay Mike gave Dana a set of Narnia books.
"This is in my DNA, this is in my genes..." - Dana "Homosex" Marie
More proper nouns at the word salad bar.
Only Banana is the real goddess.
Other gods, which verifiably exist in the same religious canon, aren't actually gods.
Other gods just had technology. (Which gave them the ability to send Banana to Hell for being such a destructive whore?)
Other gods are nordic Aryans.
"They're the progenors[sic] of the Aryan races..." (It might be a word, but for a completely different context than in which Dana "1488" Marie is using it.)
The government knows a lot about the Danaverse.
"But, Inanna was born on Earth..." - Dana, cheapening her own lore, again...
Spacemen are less powerful than some rando.
Dana wants a spaceman sugar daddy.
The only reason the US invaded Normandy was because of Hitler's attempt to resurrect the false gods of the Bananaverse. (I'm not fucking joking. (10:20))
Dana knows a lot about genetic engineering, due to her inability to read the Bible.
Back to wanting to convert gay men with her snatch.
Joel being an apprehensive gay man is a clear sign that Dana is special.
Dana seriously uses someone not wanting to be in a relationship with her as proof that, wait, what the fuck is this about?
"Circumstantial, yes." - Detective Dana Marie
Dana admits this isn't actually proof of anything if you have standards.
Still wants Joel back.
"You've seen Michael, Joel... He's raw masculinity... and the goddess met with him... I have no memory of it." - Dana, who wants to cuck herself by making Mike fuck Joel? (WTF?)
"Michael and I's union is sanctioned." (By what, the CDC?)
Banana only fucks people with upward mobility, and Mike the trashman.
KiwiFarms = Fat hags
Everyone is jealous of Michael, who looks like the mascot for an antidepressant commercial.
Steph is jealous because Dana says so.
Dana thinks Steph is going to come after her trashman, because the Earth never revolved around the Sun, it was always Dana.
Pipe smoking sperging.
Mike is the rill dill.
Dana is easy, nothing manlier than a trashman you can give flashbacks.
Mike will kill Joel if there's any butt-stuff.
(Perhaps Dana is testing the waters on Mike's murderous rage by trying to have an affair?)
Joel has to know a thing.
Joel hates women because Dana knows he's gay.
The Mormons are still bad for doing what Dana tried to do.
"It's 2021. The queers are here to stay, they're not goin' anywhere, it's fine." - Dana "Current Year" Marie
"They love the goddess..." - Dana "Lesbo" Marie, raising up her gay army
(For some reason, I think Sockness was behind this...)
"And the goddess loves them apparently..." - Dana "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" Marie
Banana kept Dana from murdering the gays and Joel.
Dana still wishes she got some action from Joel.
Joel is dying of gayness because Dana doesn't like him.
Joel is a gay shitbag.
"You can still follow Jesus and be gay!" - Dana "Leviticus 18:22" Marie
Dana can't remember anything about the Bible but there being 10 Commandments.
Adultery = A bad deal
"Better you be gay than an adulterer." (And where does alcoholism rank on that scale, Dana?)
(Seems like Dana is using this as a way to meet Joel and not have to keep it from Mike because Dana says he's gay.)
Nobody fucks with the TrashMaster.
"Stop drinkin', stop living a lie, it's ruined your life." - Dana "Projection" Marie
"... and it caused a whole lotta fuckin' problems for me." - Dana, never quite losing sight that there's only one living person in the universe
Joel beat his ex because he's gay?
Dana is confused by the homos and glowies.
Dana has less deductive reasoning skills than Scooby Doo.
Dana maintains that Joel is a terrible person/shitbag to multiple people.
Not all gays get the bullet in Danaland. (Guessing the ones she wants to force into being straight?)
"If you think you're good then you're gonna do good." - Dana, who abandoned 2 families and still thinks she's in the right on anything
Do good because Dana will call you a shitbag if you don't.
Dana fails to really go on about what good even means, seems to just mean anyone who she hasn't had fuck and leave.
Dana needs Joel to say he was temporarily not gay because of Dana, but is gay because he slighted her in some arbitrary way.
Dana demands "a public confession" (Bitch, go back to getting wasted on the cumsofa, you entitled old hag.)
Joel needs to become a gay Mormon icon, or something.
"This is your chance to do something good, for others, Joel, to speak up." - Dana, who still thinks her own morality isn't as conditional as anything
Joel needs Dana to tell him how to be authentic.
"I don't care if the Mormon Church doesn't like it, I don't care if the LDS Church has got a problem with it... They can deal with me!" - Dana, who couldn't deal with a mildly upset shopper
"And I don't think they want to..." (I mean, the smell alone...)
"I don't think the Mormon Church wants a piece of me..." - Dana "Die Hard" Marie, still wishing someone would
Joel gets tepid encouragement from our misty eyed trashen queen.
Fin.

In which Dana recommends a book she clearly hasn't read, got her nails done, challenges everyone else to waste 9 hours of their lives on her stupid fake religion. (4/10) Some great entitlement, the return to Bananaland takes a more downward turn.
Description: "https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLSxauZpzW0ozATgs-Us8DegxLmMJ-hpDx just listen. carefully. this is the ultimate litmus test of faith. if your religion can withstand this, then it must be Truth. I passed with Flying Colors"
(This playlist is like 9 hours long regarding Dana's grab bag characters from her made up religion.)
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Dana looks like a dessicated grandmother.
Dana thinks she looks like shit, too busy shilling crap regarding her fake religion.
"I worked all day... Did get a mani... really nice mani, look at those nails, and I got a pedi."
Dana shows her withered toes to the world.
The bedroom of the crack shack still hasn't finished being painted.
We're in the post-pandemic era, according to Dana, who even Charlie Sheen would call dirty.
Dana had a lot of tension, still in pain from the ATV accident.
"tension level"
Dana's ass is ATV-proof.
Spinal injuries hurt, this exciting news brought to you by the woman about to wrap a motorcycle around a tree.
Dana's spinal injuries are just muscle sprains.
"Muscles tear, and they heal stronger." - Dr. Dana Marie
"That's what weightlifting's about..." - Dana "Hench" Marie, who is a couple dozen more ATVs from her goal weight
"The fact that I tore my ass muscle..." (What, did you pull too much lore out of it?)
"I studied yoga... I studied yoga, guyz, I know what the fuck's going on here." - Dana "Black Belt In Origami" Marie
"I know how to heal." - Dana, on the specific science of how to sit on your ass and do nothing
Back to our religious sperging.
Dana is jealous that she isn't famous.
"And if I get too... sexual in my presentation, well, it's distracting, then I get called names..." - Dana "Whorebag" Marie
Dana promises to tone it down.
Dentistry is stressful for Dana.
Even the pretense of not acting like a whore for 10 minutes confounds Dana and leaves her speechless.
Dana's dental situation is "temporary" (I guess the immortal really do keep aging in Danaland?)
Dana sure is "working right now" at that glass of wine.
Dana closes the door, Hunter must be so fucking proud of Mike's new whore...
Dana struggles to figure out how the door works.
Dana is trying to cuck Niles with Mike now.
(I wonder what her lie will be this time, that Niles is a eunuch?)
Italians = Persians
Persians = Aryans
Dana about to drop a bomb on the Aryans.
"Well it all goes back to Sumeria..." (Because everything does in Dana's schizo-religion.)
Magical space white master races.
Dana is clearly drunk as fuck, wants to fuck a space-Nazi.
Something about space-Nazis being refugees from their home planet, Dana is REALLY drunk.
Nobody has the courage to read the videos that Dana sent. (I guess her grasp on literature is so poor she no longer knows what read means.)
"I dare you, I double dog fuckin' dare you to sit down and read the lost book of Enki..." - Dana, age 8 (Mentally)
Dana can't explain it, because more than likely she got bored 10 minutes in and said "fuck it, they can FIGURE IT OUT!"
(I am not listening to this shit.)
Dana can't imagine anything without cribbing notes from shitty books on video.
Yadda, yadda, terrible truths.
(Dana still looks like she's going to fucking cry.)
If you don't fall for this bullshit... (Dana was about to say something, but wasted so much time rewording it that she can't even threaten anyone.)
The book answers questions, so says Dana, who really can't.
Dana still giggles at how stupid some of these names are.
This is the prelude to learning about Banana.
Dana, like all prophets in their era, uses Google and wine to do religious theology.
Dana namedrops at least 5 gods/delusions, I guess being a schizocow takes a lot of time and like zero reasoning skills or skepticism.
(This is the most vague and utterly clueless book review ever, Dana clearly can't remember anything that happened and wants people to do it for her.)
Venus' atmosphere is a physical metaphor for how much of a crabby whore Banana is.
"Holy shit, what they have to do to get near this fuckin' bitch." - Dana, the self-described prophet of "this fuckin' bitch"
Dana gets sexually aroused by the concept of space exploration. (Eww...)
Venus is a dirty slut.
Venus is melting the atmosphere.
Daughter of the moon.
Enki is part of the Bananaverse that just doesn't work, so serves as Dana's junk drawer in her astral tardseed whatever the fuck.
(HOLY PROPER NOUNS, BATMAN!)
"I think that doesn't mean what you think it means, humans." - Dana, who is clearly some kind of special-needs alien at this point
Dana does a smug think, stutters, revealing she's absolutely dead in the water on this bit of schizo crap.
Dana sucks at pitching plotlines.
The book exists, bitches!
Dana is fucking desperate as a complete failure.
Everything is but isn't but totally is about Dana.
"I'm a writer." (Much like Florence Foster Jenkins was a singer. But at least she got booked!)
Dana still can't say Enheduanna.
Stronk wamen author!
Sargon fucked Banana, this isn't news, ho.
Kings are something that don't naturally exist until Dana sticks her Banana into history and fucks around.
Banana is unreliable at best.
"Capricious doesn't begin to describe, but, there are those of us who understand the goddess better than others..." (Yes, they're called schizophrenics.)
This is the most dull of Dana's religion, it's painfully obvious she didn't read this shitty book.
Dana thinks the North Star is Venus. (It's Polaris, you dolt. You've fucked half the navy, why don't you know anything?)
Hermetic mottos.
Planets are also dysfunctional alcoholics, I don't fucking know, this is terrible.
Dana demands not to be questioned on her blatant retardation.
(This is the worst advertisement ever.)
"You won't, be sorry... you'll be free." (Fuck off, even you can't sit through this shit.)
Fin.

In which Dana goes on her usual power trip over nothing, for a REALLY LONG TIME. (1/10) Really fucking boring.
No description, blocked comments and ratings.
26 MINUTES!!!
Pink spaghetti strap Dana.
Think she's filming in the bedroom again?
Dana is trying to be clever with her plots again by not spilling the beans on whatever vague shit she's into now.
Dana is mad she's too stupid to dox anyone.
"I mean, my trolls have made a career, of tracking me..." - Dana, who doesn't think trolls exist on Facebook
Dana is mad that her op-sec is terrible.
Dana don't care, which is why she makes videos.
Glowie isn't scary at all. (Is that a larp I see, Dana?)
Dana considers herself a public figure.
Dana clearly resents the fact she can't research the haters.
Appeal to empathy incoming...
There is no valid reason to didain Dana, according to Dana, whom has probably invented several felonies in the states she calls home.
Dana can't comprehend other people being independent in her narc world where the Danaverse is real.
Dana does or doesn't want attention.
(I think she's referring to the rekhaps, hi Dana!)
Rolling out the pity party and the fake tears.
Dana doesn't know what slander is.
Everyone is Dana when everyone is retarded enough to do what Dana did.
"I imagine that you'd probably, kill yourself..." - Dana, who couldn't even pretend to be humble for a minute
Dana embraces stress and pressure. (Probably why she looks like a corpse dredged in corn starch.)
Targetted individual sperging.
Dana can't figure out an end goal for all the people she can supposedly name.
KF Deathsquad is back!
"Not because of anything I did to them, it's just, ya know..."
"They had an opinion, and I decided I didn't care what they fuckin' thought." - Dana, on like the hundredth video to this same non-effect
(Dana still won't admit what's painfully obvious to the viewer, the haters are the only metric she has left for not being a failure.)
Dana will continue making videos until everyone stops watching.
"I don't really have a choice except to address it, now do I?" - Dana, TOTALLY NOT MAKING VIDEOS FOR THE HATERS
Dana and her narc fantasies won't allow her to hide from what she perceives as unjust opinions.
"I'm trying to shed a light on this subject..." - Dana, whom lacks the insight to escape a paper bag
This is all a lesson on how bad the internet is.
"Even if you don't deserve it..."
"Any fact about you can be twisted, by someone, who has an agenda..." - Dana, who by her own logic tried to kill Skip with her subtle hints to her imaginary deathsquad
"I have to show that it's not destroying me..." - Dana, failing
Breaking out the fake tears for the empathy gambit.
Dana has an image to maintain, you guiz! (Nope, you were the village bicycle since you were 14.)
(It's always really funny when narcs try to use empathy.)
Dana is better than everyone else because she isn't dead like her hypothetical empathy targets in her pity party.
Mike is great because he knows about KF. (Hi Mike!)
Mike ain't fraid!
Dana is special because Mike simps for her and she bought it.
"He's never had a woman love him..." - Dana "Bottom of the Barrel" Marie
Oedipus complex intensifies, Dana clearly doesn't understand any kind of relationship at all.
Mike just told Dana he was going to marry her.
"He didn't give me a choice." - Dana, still on the lookout for a man just as shitty a person as herself
"So I'm not taking advantage of him..."
1000% committed
Nobody can shittalk Mike, even Dana's whore mother.
"Go fuck yourself, mom..." - Dana, hypothetically
"I would disown my own mother... over, Michael..." - Dana, who has a lot of experience
Dana is determined to go down with this dumpster fire of a relationships.
Haters are spooks.
Mike is the world's most interesting garbage man.
Dana will eventually force Mike to sperg out on the schizo sofa.
Dana never shuts up, except with Mike. (Which we know isn't true from the Memorial Day video...)
Dana is fucking Mike for his book and movie-worthy story.
The fact that Michael isn't a complete narcissist who posts everything on the internet is clearly a plot from Dana's good glowies.
(WTF is up with her face? Why is it so narrow?)
"Well, curiosity killed the cat..." (No Dana, the CIA microwaved your cat.)
Dana continues playing the pronoun game and making empty threats.
More idioms...
Dana seems to have dropped the immortality sperging.
"His wellbeing is now on-par, with mine." (LOL!!!)
(Dana, you look dead.)
"Everyone else is pretty much expendable..." - Dana "Thanos" Marie
"I will bring him back to sanity!" - Dana, who would have better luck bringing him to temperance
"I will, straighten him out..."
Dana needs Mike alone so the stockholm syndrome training can help.
Mike is on meds since his undefined back injury.
"Together we are unstoppable." - Dana, who finally has someone to assemble her sofas for her
Dana challenges Polish Mike's family in the event they don't like her.
There is no danger whatsoever in Dana's fake religion larping.
Dana's religious larps are commonly studied at "Fancy-schmance colleges."
"I'm a highly intelligent woman, and I know a lot of stuff about a lot of stuff." - Dana "Hell Lasagna" Marie
Dana has a doctorate in Youtube audiobooks, or some shit.
Not letting the Knights Templar lineage die.
"I'm not trash." (But you certainly married into it.)
"True Aryan nobility, that's who I am." - Dana "1488" Marie
Dana is too good for Mike because of her larps.
Dana has enemies because she pretends to be important.
Dana behaves terribly and has no manners, this makes her important.
Skip spergery, BoP sperging, golf tournament sperging.
Adds more crap to the Tinnervin larp.
Dana has been ostracized from her fake family.
Dana insists that you should listen to the videos before you have an opinion that Dana won't acknowledge.
Everything is Skip and Joel's faults.
"Look at this face, look at the symmetry." - Dana "Incel" Marie
(The irony that Dana's boobs are lopsided.)
Dana doesn't live in a castle "because [she] do[es]n't want to have to clean it" (I guess the "domestic goddess" larp died once she made Mike her laundry-bitch.)
Mike is smort.
Dana can't come up with any examples, abandons ship on that pretty fucking quickly.
Nobody but Dana is going to ruin this shit-heap of a relationship.
Dana pretends to care about Joel, which is why she forced him.
"He's gonna die" - Dana, on Joel not following her narc bullshit
Dana ain't risking shit now that she has someone to buy her stuff.
Dana demands that Joel's friends and family harass him on Dana's behalf.
(Funny how Dana never has to "confess" anything, isn't it?)
"I should be the last person, rooting for this guy."
Dana should be threatening Joel.
All of Joel's friends should actually be Dana's friends. (What are you, fucking 7? What kind of point is that?)
Dana denies being a trashy whore.
Usual boilerplate.
"And I'm smarter than, most, people..." - Dana "GED" Marie
"Especially when it comes to... the esoteric, the spiritual..." (Oh, all the most useless aspects that are non-catagorically part of intelligence, shocking.)
Batshit and CAH get a mention.
Jersh gets a mention, Dana goes into the grand KF-spiracy of all cows being targetted by the gov.
Dana once again says that you can't find anything about Michael because of good glowies. (Wait, doesn't that mean he's a govnernment spy or something, Dana?)
Dana threatens people who find stuff on Mike supposedly being visited by Mike?
Mike is Dana's meatshield.
More vague possibly mafia larping.
Not a larp, not a game.
Dana ramps up the seriousness.
"He and I?" *Crosses fingers* "We're like this, we're one flesh, now." (What the fuck?)
More threats, title drop, yawn.
Fin.

In which Dana talks about how her vagina is magic or some shit, Mike totally isn't going to kill himself and is doing better than ever, still doesn't understand how the law works. (4/10) Boring sex talk and just smugness as smug can be.
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Dana is still wearing the same shirt as yesterday because she's nasty.
New angle of the living room set.
"Do you know? Who really, loves, my videos?"
Mike is her biggest fan. (I really doubt that given you don't have a black eye, given all the stupid shit you say.)
Mike is turned on by Dana's incoherent boring rants.
Mike loved the last video.
Dana implies an afternoon filled with butt-stuff.
"I restore, his stamina."
More about Dana's magic vagina giving Mike energy. Flexes about this from the perspective of a man.
(I thought all your viewers were middle-aged women, Dana?)
Dana talks about celibacy?
"When a man ejaculates, well, he is giving away his life-force." - Dana, apparently immortal due to the amount of trucker cum on her sofas over the years
(Dana sure has penis on the brain)
"From my crown to my root chakra... all my portals are open..." - Dana "Front Hole" Marie
Mike gets to jack-off into the matrix, or something.
Dana has heavenly energy, Mike is taking Dana's heavenly energy with sex and this still makes no sense.
Tantric sex, what is it? Fuck you.
Dana is a natural slut.
More about Polish Mike's bad back, dood.
Mike was told he could have become paraplegic. (Totally not some bait for Dana's "I'm magic, you guiz!" that she tries to hide as sympathy.)
"And yet with me, well, he has no issues whatsoever." - Dana, pretending she fixed a spinal injury with a handjob
A pause to let the stupidity sink in...
(Dana's brain is working exceptionally slow today.)
"I've cured his suicidal ideation... He no longer thinks of hurting himself..." - Dana, who seriously classifies manipulating someone with suicidal urges to be morally right
Dana responds to people asking Mike to come on her thread, clearly too much of a pussy to give Mike his balls back and let that happen.
(Fuck you, Dana, we want Mike!)
"I wouldn't, go to that thread..." - Dana, who still does
Dana is scared of losing Mike to KF.
The thread is a trap.
Dana thinks Mike seeing the thread (Which he already had, apparently.) will lead to one of Dana's vague empty threats of impractical violence.
Almost a title drop?
Dana wants people to ask her about information on the thread. (You disabled comments, you wino bitch.)
Dana is angry she's the only person on the internet retarded and egotistical enough to so thoroughly dox herself.
Batshit and CAH get a mention.
Dana isn't sure which one Steph is.
"So, grain of salt..." - Dana, one salty bitch
Dana guesses at motives, unsure if everyone on the thread is a glowie, middle-aged woman or a lizardman. (IDK.)
Talks about the warrent in Texas.
Skip was finding loose women on Plenty of Fish.
Dana admits to assaulting Skip, still confused as to why she got arrested.
Dana got fined $1,300 for slapping Skip.
"I had to go to anger management." - Dana, with another one of her fantastic failures
(The image of Dana throwing a folding chair at her therapy group is just brilliant.)
Dana had to take drug tests. (Given she probably showed up to anger management reeking of wine and piss...)
Dana contradicts her own story, says Skip started dating women online AFTER they got a divorce. (She usually puts that event before the divorce)
More about the cops supposed
Blames Skip for not getting a chance to fuck Mercedes Man.
"The way these people talk about me you'd think I was a... terrorist, or... a bank robber, or a murderer." (Nope, just a whore with an undiagnosed cluster B personality disorder and substance abuse problems.)
(Really bad time to break out the smug bitch face there, Dana...)
(I think the warrant expired as the statute of limitations would be 3 years for the event described.)
"Horrific miscarriage of justice." - Dana, regarding the assault that she confessed to
(Reminder that she threatened to shoot Skip in his sleep as well, convinced that she had an alibi...)
Dana didn't do any drug tests or go to anger management.
Dana still owes Texas $1,300.
Dana's crazytrain never stops, Mike is at least neutral regarding the thread because he can't be assed with Dana's psychotic rage.
Almost a title drop.
More brainlet stares...
Fin.

Questions for Dana:
Why are your tits asymmetrical?
If you're immortal, why do you have "past lives"?
Is Mike having more "business trips" these days?
Have you ever taken an IQ test?
Who administered the MMPI when you took it?
How many men have you actually had sex with?

In which Dana makes some implicit threats against Josh's mother and wants someone to take her thread down. (4/10) Smug and self-important, bog standard with her usual failed murder plots.
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Pink sweater, looking like Golum fucked Hans Landa.
Living room set, sounds like an AC unit or something in the background. (Or our "domestic goddess" has made Mike the vacuum-bitch.)
"I'm like a kid in a candy store..." - Dana "Manchild" Marie
"If you only knew... the hands into which I have fallen..." - Dana "Vague Threats" Marie
Dana demands for the millionth time that her thread be removed, because of her vague reasons she won't list because they're retarded.
"You should be worried about what they'll find about you..." - Dana "Deathsquad" Marie
Dana and Mike 4ever.
Using Mike as a threat, yet again.
Mike is a legend and a far better writer/storyteller than Dana.
Dana is supposedly good as a lie detector, which is why it took her 20 years to realize Skip was a glowie-plant.
Trashman Mafia is canon?
The thread does or doesn't matter, because Dana is as good a liar as she is a writer or cook.
Mike apparently told everyone in town not to date Dana. (This is gonna be REAL fun when she gets kicked out.)
"He, put his mark on me, he made me..." - Dana "Omertà" Marie
Dana was noticed by the voices in her head.
Mike has really low standards.
Everything is seriously serious.
Boring talking in circles, Dana has carte blanche to act more retarded than usual.
"To his mind, you're the wrong, you're in the wrong, for not thinking, for not seeing how amazing I am." - Dana, the amazing(ly boring narcissist)
Goddess sperging.
Everyone is wrong but Dana and anyone dumb enough to simp for her.
Dana breaks out the seriously serious face and wishes someone would.
"If these dipshits at KiwiFarm, had brain, had two brain cells to rub together between all of em'..." - Dana "Get That Off The Damn Internet" Marie
Dana just wants one person to take her implicit threats seriously.
Dana threatens Josh and his mother.
Dana Logic: Josh is still in Florida, you can tell by the way he isn't in Florida.
CAH is also in Florida. (I think Dana is just going to fish through all 50 states until someone dumber than her comes along.)
CAH would be easy to find, meaning Dana is either lazy, retarded or lying. (Or all 3.)
CAH is possibly Josh's mom, according to Dana.
"Who knows?" - Dana, who said she did
Dana's drug addled brain decides without a doubt CAH is in Florida, based on literally nothing.
Dana makes another empty implicit threat.
"I just think of all the terrible things that could have happened to me as a result of these people's actions..." - Dana "Kiwi Deathsquad" Marie
Dana once again fails understand that empathy only works if you aren't a shitbag.
"So, if you have the power, to take down a site like KiwiFarms, and send a message, well, then you probably should because you could be next." - Dana "Ineptitude" Marie
(Have you heard of the hacker known as 4Chan, Dana?)
"Look what they did to my kids, they went after my kids." (No Dana, your kids joined the thread and then you threatened them or wished they were dead.)
"They got my kids, outta fear. Out of fear, they got my kids to turn on me." - Dana, who wishes she could have done that to them first
Dana's goddess powers < KiwiFarms internet dark power
Dana can't say "nefarious" correctly.
Dana dindu nuffin.
"I was innocent from the start." - Dana, who confessed to assault in the last video
"And like I said... Joshua Connor Moon and his mother, well, their address is actually, they're real easy to find." - Dana, sending out the imaginary deathsquad
(Near as I can tell, she's trying to threaten Josh's mother, in the hopes that Josh comes out so Mike can murder them both?)
Dana clearly didn't think this plotline through, demands the audience do it for her.
(Hey Dana, your garbage boyfriend isn't going to do time for you.)
Dana "Karen" Marie still wants the thread gone because her haters are in danger.
"It's no threat to me at all anymore." - Dana, who won't shut up about Polish Mike "protecting" her
Dana wishes Josh-senpai would notice...
"Look into my eyes, I am stone-cold sober..." (Gonna press X on that one, wino.)
"It's been long enough, you people have no excuse not to believe me now." - Dana, who has been a pathological liar for at least the last 8 years
Fin.
 

Ronnie Rocket

toxic talking turd
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Friendly reminder that Joel Benjamin Irish is also a domestic abuser and had to go to DV classes through the Navy. Receipts from me waaaay back in the thread.
 

CrazyAsHell

Tami Hess
kiwifarms.net
In which Dana retcons Joel as gay, advocates for conversion therapy as long as it means she gets to bang someone, the Bananalore comes out (LOL) as it becomes painfully obvious that Dana knows literally nothing about gays and is just gambiting that Joel won't be killed by Mike if she says he's gay. (8/10) Dana is awkward as all Hell, somehow manages to fuck up her lore even worse than it was already.
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Dana fucks around with filters or something, the lighting just looks to bizarre and inorganic.
(Lots of Banana sperging ahead...)
"Inanna... the ancient Sumerian, Mesopotamian, goddess of love, wisdom, war, sex, beauty..." - Dana, who embodies zero of these traits.
Banana ruled the world before she got demoted or something. (I wonder if Dana got fired and this is how she's reacting?)
Fuck the Greeks, taking jobs from honest hardworking whores like Banana!
"She was the consort of kings..." - Dana, who fucked a lot of truckers, so I guess it's a fair comparison...
Banana is the best OC.
Banana = Venus "Because it's the planet"
Banana is the literal planet, which is alive in the Danalore.
(Dana seems really fucking nervous about something.)
How the fuck does a god have a maiden name? Care to explain that, Dana?
Everything the light touches is/was/fucked Banana's kingdom.
Title drop from Dana "Dildo Jamboree" Marie
Banana is really bad at writing contracts, homosexuality is just a loophole in the Danaverse. (Amongst other holes...)
Priests of Banana are married to the goddess Banana. (Wait, doesn't that technically make Dana a lesbian?)
"However, they could have sex with each other..." - Dana "Sodomy" Marie
Dana pulls a J.K. Rowling, EVERYONE IS GAY IN THE PREISTDOM OF BANANALAND.
"Sex with the high priestess, was reserved for kings..." - Dana "TrashMistress" Marie
(Wow, your fake religion is just a pretense for a whorehouse, isn't it, Dana?)
Dana once again can't decide if she means Banana or her priestess.
Cribbing notes from the Bible again.
Marduk sperging.
Banana was a psycho, basically condemned this guy she fucked once to Hell for no reason other than she's an idiot who can't solve her own shit. (SOUNDS A LITTLE FAMILIAR...)
More pre-Bible sperging about shepards and shit, Dana knows so little about the Bible that she's either taking "The Lord is my shepard" literally, or just can't even remember anything about it.
"And, I just read an article, that NASA is planning, finally! To send a mission to Venus." - Dana, unaware that the first successful lander mission took place in 1972 and taking shit out of context
Dana apparently does know about the USSR missions?
"Well, the Russians were quietly sending orbiters to Venus..." - Dana, who is less subtle than a Soyuz rocket
The Russians (Read: ALL RUSSIANS EVER) know about Dana because they had a space program.
Dana wishes people noticed her while making shit up about how everyone was spying on her retarded ass.
"And I got noticed. At the top. Don't let em' fool you. Do not let anyone tell you differently." - Dana "тупая шлюха" Marie
"Why would I say things like this if it weren't true?" (Because you're a narcissist and a pathological liar who couldn't impress anyone and knows it?)
You'd have to be insane to be as dangerously retarded as Dana is for lying, according to Dana.
If you actually have top secret information there is clearly no danger whatsoever in telling people.
(Hey Mike, if you want to put some haloperidol in her magic mug of Irish coffee, it might not go amiss.)
"All those Venusians over at NASA..." (WTF?)
If NASA is smart, they'll listen to a meth addict on her couch blab on about how her snatch sees more action than the Superbowl.
"Get your ass up there to Venus..." - Dana "Schizoenegger" Marie
"Because, well..." - Dana, displaying her trademark management style of being clueless
"Putin's rise to power, was no accident..." (Let me guess, he's a spaceman from Bananaland?)
The US is losing power because Dana hates Mars.
This somehow loops back to Banana being the OG gay icon.
"This brings me back to Joel..." - Dana, who never left
Joel has been seen cruising gay bars, according to Dana's imaginary spy network.
Dana does gaydar. (So wait, Dana concocted a fake relationship from that one time she had a male friend who was gay? Man, that's pathetic.)
The Mormons don't like gays, Dana is fine with gay conversion because it implies that she could have married Joel and made him straight.
Imagine Dragons sperging.
Dana is referring to her own life events as a "saga", still jealous of CwC, Dana?
Dana pretends to care about a famous person's opinion on religion. (What about the position of the cult of Banana?)
"We have a lot of gay Mormons who are living inauthentic lives, married, they even have kids." - Dana, probably trying a gambit to call Skip a faggot for also being married and having kids with a woman
Dana seems really uncomfortable explaining how gays work.
Dana "J.K. Rowling" Marie has now completely retconned Joel as gay.
"And yet, he was attracted to me..." - Dana, who doesn't understand how gays work
(Yes, Dana is partaking in the exact same conversion therapy that she said was bad because some guy in a band said so.)
Joel wanted to pity-marry Dana. According to Dana.
Dana's power level was increasing, but it wasn't enough for gay dudes to be interested in her mannish face.
"My mother had, a similar ability, to... turn gay men straight, at least for her." - Dana "Conversion Therapy" Marie
(I guess bisexuals don't exist in the Danaverse, because every priest of Banana was 100% gay despite being symbolically married.)
Dana's mother was a whore too.
"And, this guy, his name was Michael..." *Ass-eating smirk*
Gay Mike gave Dana a set of Narnia books.
"This is in my DNA, this is in my genes..." - Dana "Homosex" Marie
More proper nouns at the word salad bar.
Only Banana is the real goddess.
Other gods, which verifiably exist in the same religious canon, aren't actually gods.
Other gods just had technology. (Which gave them the ability to send Banana to Hell for being such a destructive whore?)
Other gods are nordic Aryans.
"They're the progenors[sic] of the Aryan races..." (It might be a word, but for a completely different context than in which Dana "1488" Marie is using it.)
The government knows a lot about the Danaverse.
"But, Inanna was born on Earth..." - Dana, cheapening her own lore, again...
Spacemen are less powerful than some rando.
Dana wants a spaceman sugar daddy.
The only reason the US invaded Normandy was because of Hitler's attempt to resurrect the false gods of the Bananaverse. (I'm not fucking joking. (10:20))
Dana knows a lot about genetic engineering, due to her inability to read the Bible.
Back to wanting to convert gay men with her snatch.
Joel being an apprehensive gay man is a clear sign that Dana is special.
Dana seriously uses someone not wanting to be in a relationship with her as proof that, wait, what the fuck is this about?
"Circumstantial, yes." - Detective Dana Marie
Dana admits this isn't actually proof of anything if you have standards.
Still wants Joel back.
"You've seen Michael, Joel... He's raw masculinity... and the goddess met with him... I have no memory of it." - Dana, who wants to cuck herself by making Mike fuck Joel? (WTF?)
"Michael and I's union is sanctioned." (By what, the CDC?)
Banana only fucks people with upward mobility, and Mike the trashman.
KiwiFarms = Fat hags
Everyone is jealous of Michael, who looks like the mascot for an antidepressant commercial.
Steph is jealous because Dana says so.
Dana thinks Steph is going to come after her trashman, because the Earth never revolved around the Sun, it was always Dana.
Pipe smoking sperging.
Mike is the rill dill.
Dana is easy, nothing manlier than a trashman you can give flashbacks.
Mike will kill Joel if there's any butt-stuff.
(Perhaps Dana is testing the waters on Mike's murderous rage by trying to have an affair?)
Joel has to know a thing.
Joel hates women because Dana knows he's gay.
The Mormons are still bad for doing what Dana tried to do.
"It's 2021. The queers are here to stay, they're not goin' anywhere, it's fine." - Dana "Current Year" Marie
"They love the goddess..." - Dana "Lesbo" Marie, raising up her gay army
(For some reason, I think Sockness was behind this...)
"And the goddess loves them apparently..." - Dana "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" Marie
Banana kept Dana from murdering the gays and Joel.
Dana still wishes she got some action from Joel.
Joel is dying of gayness because Dana doesn't like him.
Joel is a gay shitbag.
"You can still follow Jesus and be gay!" - Dana "Leviticus 18:22" Marie
Dana can't remember anything about the Bible but there being 10 Commandments.
Adultery = A bad deal
"Better you be gay than an adulterer." (And where does alcoholism rank on that scale, Dana?)
(Seems like Dana is using this as a way to meet Joel and not have to keep it from Mike because Dana says he's gay.)
Nobody fucks with the TrashMaster.
"Stop drinkin', stop living a lie, it's ruined your life." - Dana "Projection" Marie
"... and it caused a whole lotta fuckin' problems for me." - Dana, never quite losing sight that there's only one living person in the universe
Joel beat his ex because he's gay?
Dana is confused by the homos and glowies.
Dana has less deductive reasoning skills than Scooby Doo.
Dana maintains that Joel is a terrible person/shitbag to multiple people.
Not all gays get the bullet in Danaland. (Guessing the ones she wants to force into being straight?)
"If you think you're good then you're gonna do good." - Dana, who abandoned 2 families and still thinks she's in the right on anything
Do good because Dana will call you a shitbag if you don't.
Dana fails to really go on about what good even means, seems to just mean anyone who she hasn't had fuck and leave.
Dana needs Joel to say he was temporarily not gay because of Dana, but is gay because he slighted her in some arbitrary way.
Dana demands "a public confession" (Bitch, go back to getting wasted on the cumsofa, you entitled old hag.)
Joel needs to become a gay Mormon icon, or something.
"This is your chance to do something good, for others, Joel, to speak up." - Dana, who still thinks her own morality isn't as conditional as anything
Joel needs Dana to tell him how to be authentic.
"I don't care if the Mormon Church doesn't like it, I don't care if the LDS Church has got a problem with it... They can deal with me!" - Dana, who couldn't deal with a mildly upset shopper
"And I don't think they want to..." (I mean, the smell alone...)
"I don't think the Mormon Church wants a piece of me..." - Dana "Die Hard" Marie, still wishing someone would
Joel gets tepid encouragement from our misty eyed trashen queen.
Fin.

In which Dana recommends a book she clearly hasn't read, got her nails done, challenges everyone else to waste 9 hours of their lives on her stupid fake religion. (4/10) Some great entitlement, the return to Bananaland takes a more downward turn.
Description: "https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLSxauZpzW0ozATgs-Us8DegxLmMJ-hpDx just listen. carefully. this is the ultimate litmus test of faith. if your religion can withstand this, then it must be Truth. I passed with Flying Colors"
(This playlist is like 9 hours long regarding Dana's grab bag characters from her made up religion.)
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Dana looks like a dessicated grandmother.
Dana thinks she looks like shit, too busy shilling crap regarding her fake religion.
"I worked all day... Did get a mani... really nice mani, look at those nails, and I got a pedi."
Dana shows her withered toes to the world.
The bedroom of the crack shack still hasn't finished being painted.
We're in the post-pandemic era, according to Dana, who even Charlie Sheen would call dirty.
Dana had a lot of tension, still in pain from the ATV accident.
"tension level"
Dana's ass is ATV-proof.
Spinal injuries hurt, this exciting news brought to you by the woman about to wrap a motorcycle around a tree.
Dana's spinal injuries are just muscle sprains.
"Muscles tear, and they heal stronger." - Dr. Dana Marie
"That's what weightlifting's about..." - Dana "Hench" Marie, who is a couple dozen more ATVs from her goal weight
"The fact that I tore my ass muscle..." (What, did you pull too much lore out of it?)
"I studied yoga... I studied yoga, guyz, I know what the fuck's going on here." - Dana "Black Belt In Origami" Marie
"I know how to heal." - Dana, on the specific science of how to sit on your ass and do nothing
Back to our religious sperging.
Dana is jealous that she isn't famous.
"And if I get too... sexual in my presentation, well, it's distracting, then I get called names..." - Dana "Whorebag" Marie
Dana promises to tone it down.
Dentistry is stressful for Dana.
Even the pretense of not acting like a whore for 10 minutes confounds Dana and leaves her speechless.
Dana's dental situation is "temporary" (I guess the immortal really do keep aging in Danaland?)
Dana sure is "working right now" at that glass of wine.
Dana closes the door, Hunter must be so fucking proud of Mike's new whore...
Dana struggles to figure out how the door works.
Dana is trying to cuck Niles with Mike now.
(I wonder what her lie will be this time, that Niles is a eunuch?)
Italians = Persians
Persians = Aryans
Dana about to drop a bomb on the Aryans.
"Well it all goes back to Sumeria..." (Because everything does in Dana's schizo-religion.)
Magical space white master races.
Dana is clearly drunk as fuck, wants to fuck a space-Nazi.
Something about space-Nazis being refugees from their home planet, Dana is REALLY drunk.
Nobody has the courage to read the videos that Dana sent. (I guess her grasp on literature is so poor she no longer knows what read means.)
"I dare you, I double dog fuckin' dare you to sit down and read the lost book of Enki..." - Dana, age 8 (Mentally)
Dana can't explain it, because more than likely she got bored 10 minutes in and said "fuck it, they can FIGURE IT OUT!"
(I am not listening to this shit.)
Dana can't imagine anything without cribbing notes from shitty books on video.
Yadda, yadda, terrible truths.
(Dana still looks like she's going to fucking cry.)
If you don't fall for this bullshit... (Dana was about to say something, but wasted so much time rewording it that she can't even threaten anyone.)
The book answers questions, so says Dana, who really can't.
Dana still giggles at how stupid some of these names are.
This is the prelude to learning about Banana.
Dana, like all prophets in their era, uses Google and wine to do religious theology.
Dana namedrops at least 5 gods/delusions, I guess being a schizocow takes a lot of time and like zero reasoning skills or skepticism.
(This is the most vague and utterly clueless book review ever, Dana clearly can't remember anything that happened and wants people to do it for her.)
Venus' atmosphere is a physical metaphor for how much of a crabby whore Banana is.
"Holy shit, what they have to do to get near this fuckin' bitch." - Dana, the self-described prophet of "this fuckin' bitch"
Dana gets sexually aroused by the concept of space exploration. (Eww...)
Venus is a dirty slut.
Venus is melting the atmosphere.
Daughter of the moon.
Enki is part of the Bananaverse that just doesn't work, so serves as Dana's junk drawer in her astral tardseed whatever the fuck.
(HOLY PROPER NOUNS, BATMAN!)
"I think that doesn't mean what you think it means, humans." - Dana, who is clearly some kind of special-needs alien at this point
Dana does a smug think, stutters, revealing she's absolutely dead in the water on this bit of schizo crap.
Dana sucks at pitching plotlines.
The book exists, bitches!
Dana is fucking desperate as a complete failure.
Everything is but isn't but totally is about Dana.
"I'm a writer." (Much like Florence Foster Jenkins was a singer. But at least she got booked!)
Dana still can't say Enheduanna.
Stronk wamen author!
Sargon fucked Banana, this isn't news, ho.
Kings are something that don't naturally exist until Dana sticks her Banana into history and fucks around.
Banana is unreliable at best.
"Capricious doesn't begin to describe, but, there are those of us who understand the goddess better than others..." (Yes, they're called schizophrenics.)
This is the most dull of Dana's religion, it's painfully obvious she didn't read this shitty book.
Dana thinks the North Star is Venus. (It's Polaris, you dolt. You've fucked half the navy, why don't you know anything?)
Hermetic mottos.
Planets are also dysfunctional alcoholics, I don't fucking know, this is terrible.
Dana demands not to be questioned on her blatant retardation.
(This is the worst advertisement ever.)
"You won't, be sorry... you'll be free." (Fuck off, even you can't sit through this shit.)
Fin.

In which Dana goes on her usual power trip over nothing, for a REALLY LONG TIME. (1/10) Really fucking boring.
No description, blocked comments and ratings.
26 MINUTES!!!
Pink spaghetti strap Dana.
Think she's filming in the bedroom again?
Dana is trying to be clever with her plots again by not spilling the beans on whatever vague shit she's into now.
Dana is mad she's too stupid to dox anyone.
"I mean, my trolls have made a career, of tracking me..." - Dana, who doesn't think trolls exist on Facebook
Dana is mad that her op-sec is terrible.
Dana don't care, which is why she makes videos.
Glowie isn't scary at all. (Is that a larp I see, Dana?)
Dana considers herself a public figure.
Dana clearly resents the fact she can't research the haters.
Appeal to empathy incoming...
There is no valid reason to didain Dana, according to Dana, whom has probably invented several felonies in the states she calls home.
Dana can't comprehend other people being independent in her narc world where the Danaverse is real.
Dana does or doesn't want attention.
(I think she's referring to the rekhaps, hi Dana!)
Rolling out the pity party and the fake tears.
Dana doesn't know what slander is.
Everyone is Dana when everyone is retarded enough to do what Dana did.
"I imagine that you'd probably, kill yourself..." - Dana, who couldn't even pretend to be humble for a minute
Dana embraces stress and pressure. (Probably why she looks like a corpse dredged in corn starch.)
Targetted individual sperging.
Dana can't figure out an end goal for all the people she can supposedly name.
KF Deathsquad is back!
"Not because of anything I did to them, it's just, ya know..."
"They had an opinion, and I decided I didn't care what they fuckin' thought." - Dana, on like the hundredth video to this same non-effect
(Dana still won't admit what's painfully obvious to the viewer, the haters are the only metric she has left for not being a failure.)
Dana will continue making videos until everyone stops watching.
"I don't really have a choice except to address it, now do I?" - Dana, TOTALLY NOT MAKING VIDEOS FOR THE HATERS
Dana and her narc fantasies won't allow her to hide from what she perceives as unjust opinions.
"I'm trying to shed a light on this subject..." - Dana, whom lacks the insight to escape a paper bag
This is all a lesson on how bad the internet is.
"Even if you don't deserve it..."
"Any fact about you can be twisted, by someone, who has an agenda..." - Dana, who by her own logic tried to kill Skip with her subtle hints to her imaginary deathsquad
"I have to show that it's not destroying me..." - Dana, failing
Breaking out the fake tears for the empathy gambit.
Dana has an image to maintain, you guiz! (Nope, you were the village bicycle since you were 14.)
(It's always really funny when narcs try to use empathy.)
Dana is better than everyone else because she isn't dead like her hypothetical empathy targets in her pity party.
Mike is great because he knows about KF. (Hi Mike!)
Mike ain't fraid!
Dana is special because Mike simps for her and she bought it.
"He's never had a woman love him..." - Dana "Bottom of the Barrel" Marie
Oedipus complex intensifies, Dana clearly doesn't understand any kind of relationship at all.
Mike just told Dana he was going to marry her.
"He didn't give me a choice." - Dana, still on the lookout for a man just as shitty a person as herself
"So I'm not taking advantage of him..."
1000% committed
Nobody can shittalk Mike, even Dana's whore mother.
"Go fuck yourself, mom..." - Dana, hypothetically
"I would disown my own mother... over, Michael..." - Dana, who has a lot of experience
Dana is determined to go down with this dumpster fire of a relationships.
Haters are spooks.
Mike is the world's most interesting garbage man.
Dana will eventually force Mike to sperg out on the schizo sofa.
Dana never shuts up, except with Mike. (Which we know isn't true from the Memorial Day video...)
Dana is fucking Mike for his book and movie-worthy story.
The fact that Michael isn't a complete narcissist who posts everything on the internet is clearly a plot from Dana's good glowies.
(WTF is up with her face? Why is it so narrow?)
"Well, curiosity killed the cat..." (No Dana, the CIA microwaved your cat.)
Dana continues playing the pronoun game and making empty threats.
More idioms...
Dana seems to have dropped the immortality sperging.
"His wellbeing is now on-par, with mine." (LOL!!!)
(Dana, you look dead.)
"Everyone else is pretty much expendable..." - Dana "Thanos" Marie
"I will bring him back to sanity!" - Dana, who would have better luck bringing him to temperance
"I will, straighten him out..."
Dana needs Mike alone so the stockholm syndrome training can help.
Mike is on meds since his undefined back injury.
"Together we are unstoppable." - Dana, who finally has someone to assemble her sofas for her
Dana challenges Polish Mike's family in the event they don't like her.
There is no danger whatsoever in Dana's fake religion larping.
Dana's religious larps are commonly studied at "Fancy-schmance colleges."
"I'm a highly intelligent woman, and I know a lot of stuff about a lot of stuff." - Dana "Hell Lasagna" Marie
Dana has a doctorate in Youtube audiobooks, or some shit.
Not letting the Knights Templar lineage die.
"I'm not trash." (But you certainly married into it.)
"True Aryan nobility, that's who I am." - Dana "1488" Marie
Dana is too good for Mike because of her larps.
Dana has enemies because she pretends to be important.
Dana behaves terribly and has no manners, this makes her important.
Skip spergery, BoP sperging, golf tournament sperging.
Adds more crap to the Tinnervin larp.
Dana has been ostracized from her fake family.
Dana insists that you should listen to the videos before you have an opinion that Dana won't acknowledge.
Everything is Skip and Joel's faults.
"Look at this face, look at the symmetry." - Dana "Incel" Marie
(The irony that Dana's boobs are lopsided.)
Dana doesn't live in a castle "because [she] do[es]n't want to have to clean it" (I guess the "domestic goddess" larp died once she made Mike her laundry-bitch.)
Mike is smort.
Dana can't come up with any examples, abandons ship on that pretty fucking quickly.
Nobody but Dana is going to ruin this shit-heap of a relationship.
Dana pretends to care about Joel, which is why she forced him.
"He's gonna die" - Dana, on Joel not following her narc bullshit
Dana ain't risking shit now that she has someone to buy her stuff.
Dana demands that Joel's friends and family harass him on Dana's behalf.
(Funny how Dana never has to "confess" anything, isn't it?)
"I should be the last person, rooting for this guy."
Dana should be threatening Joel.
All of Joel's friends should actually be Dana's friends. (What are you, fucking 7? What kind of point is that?)
Dana denies being a trashy whore.
Usual boilerplate.
"And I'm smarter than, most, people..." - Dana "GED" Marie
"Especially when it comes to... the esoteric, the spiritual..." (Oh, all the most useless aspects that are non-catagorically part of intelligence, shocking.)
Batshit and CAH get a mention.
Jersh gets a mention, Dana goes into the grand KF-spiracy of all cows being targetted by the gov.
Dana once again says that you can't find anything about Michael because of good glowies. (Wait, doesn't that mean he's a govnernment spy or something, Dana?)
Dana threatens people who find stuff on Mike supposedly being visited by Mike?
Mike is Dana's meatshield.
More vague possibly mafia larping.
Not a larp, not a game.
Dana ramps up the seriousness.
"He and I?" *Crosses fingers* "We're like this, we're one flesh, now." (What the fuck?)
More threats, title drop, yawn.
Fin.

In which Dana talks about how her vagina is magic or some shit, Mike totally isn't going to kill himself and is doing better than ever, still doesn't understand how the law works. (4/10) Boring sex talk and just smugness as smug can be.
No description, disabled comments and ratings
Dana is still wearing the same shirt as yesterday because she's nasty.
New angle of the living room set.
"Do you know? Who really, loves, my videos?"
Mike is her biggest fan. (I really doubt that given you don't have a black eye, given all the stupid shit you say.)
Mike is turned on by Dana's incoherent boring rants.
Mike loved the last video.
Dana implies an afternoon filled with butt-stuff.
"I restore, his stamina."
More about Dana's magic vagina giving Mike energy. Flexes about this from the perspective of a man.
(I thought all your viewers were middle-aged women, Dana?)
Dana talks about celibacy?
"When a man ejaculates, well, he is giving away his life-force." - Dana, apparently immortal due to the amount of trucker cum on her sofas over the years
(Dana sure has penis on the brain)
"From my crown to my root chakra... all my portals are open..." - Dana "Front Hole" Marie
Mike gets to jack-off into the matrix, or something.
Dana has heavenly energy, Mike is taking Dana's heavenly energy with sex and this still makes no sense.
Tantric sex, what is it? Fuck you.
Dana is a natural slut.
More about Polish Mike's bad back, dood.
Mike was told he could have become paraplegic. (Totally not some bait for Dana's "I'm magic, you guiz!" that she tries to hide as sympathy.)
"And yet with me, well, he has no issues whatsoever." - Dana, pretending she fixed a spinal injury with a handjob
A pause to let the stupidity sink in...
(Dana's brain is working exceptionally slow today.)
"I've cured his suicidal ideation... He no longer thinks of hurting himself..." - Dana, who seriously classifies manipulating someone with suicidal urges to be morally right
Dana responds to people asking Mike to come on her thread, clearly too much of a pussy to give Mike his balls back and let that happen.
(Fuck you, Dana, we want Mike!)
"I wouldn't, go to that thread..." - Dana, who still does
Dana is scared of losing Mike to KF.
The thread is a trap.
Dana thinks Mike seeing the thread (Which he already had, apparently.) will lead to one of Dana's vague empty threats of impractical violence.
Almost a title drop?
Dana wants people to ask her about information on the thread. (You disabled comments, you wino bitch.)
Dana is angry she's the only person on the internet retarded and egotistical enough to so thoroughly dox herself.
Batshit and CAH get a mention.
Dana isn't sure which one Steph is.
"So, grain of salt..." - Dana, one salty bitch
Dana guesses at motives, unsure if everyone on the thread is a glowie, middle-aged woman or a lizardman. (IDK.)
Talks about the warrent in Texas.
Skip was finding loose women on Plenty of Fish.
Dana admits to assaulting Skip, still confused as to why she got arrested.
Dana got fined $1,300 for slapping Skip.
"I had to go to anger management." - Dana, with another one of her fantastic failures
(The image of Dana throwing a folding chair at her therapy group is just brilliant.)
Dana had to take drug tests. (Given she probably showed up to anger management reeking of wine and piss...)
Dana contradicts her own story, says Skip started dating women online AFTER they got a divorce. (She usually puts that event before the divorce)
More about the cops supposed
Blames Skip for not getting a chance to fuck Mercedes Man.
"The way these people talk about me you'd think I was a... terrorist, or... a bank robber, or a murderer." (Nope, just a whore with an undiagnosed cluster B personality disorder and substance abuse problems.)
(Really bad time to break out the smug bitch face there, Dana...)
(I think the warrant expired as the statute of limitations would be 3 years for the event described.)
"Horrific miscarriage of justice." - Dana, regarding the assault that she confessed to
(Reminder that she threatened to shoot Skip in his sleep as well, convinced that she had an alibi...)
Dana didn't do any drug tests or go to anger management.
Dana still owes Texas $1,300.
Dana's crazytrain never stops, Mike is at least neutral regarding the thread because he can't be assed with Dana's psychotic rage.
Almost a title drop.
More brainlet stares...
Fin.

Questions for Dana:
Why are your tits asymmetrical?
If you're immortal, why do you have "past lives"?
Is Mike having more "business trips" these days?
Have you ever taken an IQ test?
Who administered the MMPI when you took it?
How many men have you actually had sex with?

In which Dana makes some implicit threats against Josh's mother and wants someone to take her thread down. (4/10) Smug and self-important, bog standard with her usual failed murder plots.
No description, disabled comments and ratings.
Pink sweater, looking like Golum fucked Hans Landa.
Living room set, sounds like an AC unit or something in the background. (Or our "domestic goddess" has made Mike the vacuum-bitch.)
"I'm like a kid in a candy store..." - Dana "Manchild" Marie
"If you only knew... the hands into which I have fallen..." - Dana "Vague Threats" Marie
Dana demands for the millionth time that her thread be removed, because of her vague reasons she won't list because they're retarded.
"You should be worried about what they'll find about you..." - Dana "Deathsquad" Marie
Dana and Mike 4ever.
Using Mike as a threat, yet again.
Mike is a legend and a far better writer/storyteller than Dana.
Dana is supposedly good as a lie detector, which is why it took her 20 years to realize Skip was a glowie-plant.
Trashman Mafia is canon?
The thread does or doesn't matter, because Dana is as good a liar as she is a writer or cook.
Mike apparently told everyone in town not to date Dana. (This is gonna be REAL fun when she gets kicked out.)
"He, put his mark on me, he made me..." - Dana "Omertà" Marie
Dana was noticed by the voices in her head.
Mike has really low standards.
Everything is seriously serious.
Boring talking in circles, Dana has carte blanche to act more retarded than usual.
"To his mind, you're the wrong, you're in the wrong, for not thinking, for not seeing how amazing I am." - Dana, the amazing(ly boring narcissist)
Goddess sperging.
Everyone is wrong but Dana and anyone dumb enough to simp for her.
Dana breaks out the seriously serious face and wishes someone would.
"If these dipshits at KiwiFarm, had brain, had two brain cells to rub together between all of em'..." - Dana "Get That Off The Damn Internet" Marie
Dana just wants one person to take her implicit threats seriously.
Dana threatens Josh and his mother.
Dana Logic: Josh is still in Florida, you can tell by the way he isn't in Florida.
CAH is also in Florida. (I think Dana is just going to fish through all 50 states until someone dumber than her comes along.)
CAH would be easy to find, meaning Dana is either lazy, retarded or lying. (Or all 3.)
CAH is possibly Josh's mom, according to Dana.
"Who knows?" - Dana, who said she did
Dana's drug addled brain decides without a doubt CAH is in Florida, based on literally nothing.
Dana makes another empty implicit threat.
"I just think of all the terrible things that could have happened to me as a result of these people's actions..." - Dana "Kiwi Deathsquad" Marie
Dana once again fails understand that empathy only works if you aren't a shitbag.
"So, if you have the power, to take down a site like KiwiFarms, and send a message, well, then you probably should because you could be next." - Dana "Ineptitude" Marie
(Have you heard of the hacker known as 4Chan, Dana?)
"Look what they did to my kids, they went after my kids." (No Dana, your kids joined the thread and then you threatened them or wished they were dead.)
"They got my kids, outta fear. Out of fear, they got my kids to turn on me." - Dana, who wishes she could have done that to them first
Dana's goddess powers < KiwiFarms internet dark power
Dana can't say "nefarious" correctly.
Dana dindu nuffin.
"I was innocent from the start." - Dana, who confessed to assault in the last video
"And like I said... Joshua Connor Moon and his mother, well, their address is actually, they're real easy to find." - Dana, sending out the imaginary deathsquad
(Near as I can tell, she's trying to threaten Josh's mother, in the hopes that Josh comes out so Mike can murder them both?)
Dana clearly didn't think this plotline through, demands the audience do it for her.
(Hey Dana, your garbage boyfriend isn't going to do time for you.)
Dana "Karen" Marie still wants the thread gone because her haters are in danger.
"It's no threat to me at all anymore." - Dana, who won't shut up about Polish Mike "protecting" her
Dana wishes Josh-senpai would notice...
"Look into my eyes, I am stone-cold sober..." (Gonna press X on that one, wino.)
"It's been long enough, you people have no excuse not to believe me now." - Dana, who has been a pathological liar for at least the last 8 years
Fin.
This had me rolling. FYI: she has deleted her FB
 
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