I feel bad because neither Spencer nor Alex did trash talk their mother here. If she would read what they actually said -- when did they call her nasty names like she has done to them or anything else that qualifies as trash talking? They came here, that's it. Spencer merely said he's cool now with Steph. So the fuck what?
That's exactly what I was about to say. Exactly.
She has this cruel streak that tears me up when she aims it at her children. And what mother blames her kids for her labor pains? Good lord.
Update: 18 Riggs St Franklinville, NYView attachment 710035Dana Marie Cain is a 48 year old alcoholic, cock-gobbling, man-hating, tranny-reviling, Bible-thumping, Pagan/Christian apologist, former Scientologist, anti-semitic, spousal-abusing, batshit, redneck who believes she is the channeler and incarnation of an intergalactic entity known as Venus, who as luck would have it, is the Mother of Humanity. She's also wanted by the authorities in Texas for bail jumping in relation to pleading Guilty to Misdemeanor Assault.
LOL WANTED!
View attachment 714179
Dana M. Cain
202 S. Emerson St./1404 N. Center St.
Bloomington, IL 61701
21caindana@gmail.com
Formerly married to a Naval Officer by the name of Skip Cain and a mother of 4 boys (2 from a previous union and 2 from her most recent) in Washington state, she moved to Texas where she met a friend of Skip's by the name of Joel Irish, who she then proceed to stalk relentlessly. Despite never having any sexual or intimate contact with Dana, Joel filed an Order of Protection against her. Something she is still ass-disastered about to this day.
After being thoroughly rejected by Joel, Dana proceeded to sink to the bottom of a wine bottle where her marriage drowned. Having nowhere else to live, Skip allowed Dana to remain in the home with himself and their two sons while she was supposed to look for a job and an apartment. Instead, she wasted money on booze, weed and cigarettes. After learning Skip had started to date despite them being in the middle of a divorce, she attacked Skip in a drunken rage. The cops were called and she was booked and charged with Family Violence.
After scamming a bail bondsman, she trucker-fucked her way from Montgomery County, Texas to Portland, Oregon to be with a man named Niles, whom she met online. She states she "fucked him into cardiac arrest" which got her fired from a waitressing job because that makes total sense. Most recently, she moved back home to Illinois to live with her mom when she couldn't hack it as a waitress in Portland. For someone who claims to have godlike powers, not being able to fill a drink order is pretty embarrassing.
Dana is at all times thirsty for cock and will not hesitate to ramble for ten minutes straight about how amazing these random guys fuck her brains out, only to turn around and curse them with everlasting damnation because they don't want to deal with her cosmic bullshit. She is constantly trawling through Tinder for dick and frequently goes on micro-dates, which are basically parking lot hook-ups. Gross.
She was arrested at her job in Texas for being a sperg. She frequently gets kicked off of YouTube and Facebook for being a raging moron and films herself screaming at a camera in her Mom's laundry room, kitchen and a minivan where the roof is caving in. When these bans occur, she starts new channels and literally threatens to blow up the planet.
Here are just a handful of her greatest hits:
In addition to her nonsensical ramblings, her own head-canon is frequently a mish-mash of people that exist, given code names and other-worldly entities that exist to fuck with Dana because she's so amazing.
- Believes all men want to fuck her and all women are jealous of her.
- Believes the Church of Latter Day Saints and the U.S. Navy are co-conspirators in unleashing the anti-Christ in the form of her former lover, Joel Irish.
- Believes the Matrix is real and we are all inside of it.
- Believes she is descended from Merovingian Kings who were the children of Jesus Christ, despite this being an old wives' tale.
- Believes she caused Hurricane Harvey and stopped it before it knocked out her power.
- Believes she has the power to nuke the planet by targeting every major caldera on Earth and has her own military on stand by to do it.
- Believes that on the day she was banned from Facebook, Hawaii just happened to have that nuclear false alarm.
- Believes she is the reason the Allied Forces invaded Normandy to steal Hitler's formula for the perfect male and female.
- Believes she is the target of a CIA operative plan to kill all undesirables.
Spiritual Realm Characters
Venus - The Mother of Humanity and the Embodiment of all things lustful and vengeful, Venus was released from her intergalactic prison when NASA crashed the Cassini satellite into Saturn. Upon awakening, her first act was to delve into the body of a hard 6 and make her fucking nuts. Venus is both inside and a part of Dana making her the "Oracle of Venus." According to her own admission, she's incredibly easy to fuck if you don't interrupt her while she's tarding out. Once she's done talking, she's down to fuck. Seriously. She also states that her "kill rate" is in the trillions and she has destroyed billions of alien worlds. (Which by her own head-canon means she's inadvertently responsible for seeding Earth with homeless aliens who eat babies.)
Innana - Sumerian Goddess of Fertility. When Dana gets really horny and really blangry, she cracks open a bottle of merlot and screams at the camera about dicksucking and being a violent idiot.
Lucifer - Also known as Mars/Mercury. Venus's son/invisible pet/cherub angel/consort who reports on Dana and snitches to Venus. He is responsible for most of her fuck-ups in life.
Neptune - Venus's intergalactic ex-husband who leaps into the bodies of men that Dana fucks who end up dumping her. Neptune currently inhabits the body of one of her real ex-husbands named Skip.
Pandora - An entity that reflects energy from guys Dana wants to fuck.
Saturn - The Father of Venus. His spirit died when he couldn't transport out of Dana's father fast enough.
Dana will also throw out other names from the Bible to support whatever delusion she's having that day, but those are the main players in the spaghetti bowl that is her mind.
Physical Realm Characters
The Reptilian Order - Also known as the Luciferian Illuminati, they are Alien Space Lizards who are rich and run everything. Ironically, Dana/Venus states that Lucifer serves her so make of that what you will.
The Navy - Hates Dana and calls her a cunt. Responsible for not providing Lucifer with a physical host strong enough to fuck Dana with.
Cleopatra - Also known as "J.C." A human zombie resurrected by evil scientists to torture Dana. Cleopatra is Dana's grandmother who wrote Dana off long ago and she's still assblasted about it.
Dana's Biological Dad - Deceased. Died of Natural Causes at 42.
Dana's Step-Dad - Deceased. She has admitted they used to have a sexual relationship, but this is okay since she believes she is a god and all gods commit incest.
Dana's Mom - Also known as the "Black Widow", she is the long-suffering mother of Dana who takes her in every time Dana fucks up and lands on the street. Her mother merely tolerates Dana and has no plan to get her any psychiatric treatment. Fun Fact!: Dana was in a car accident at 18 months old with her mom which could explain her mental illness as brain damage. But once you look at this stump of a family tree, that can be pretty much ruled out. Her family also went homeless because her Dad was too fucking stupid to change out a furnace filter and burnt their fucking house down.
Dana's Four Sons - Dana has four children ranging from pre-teen to adults. Dana has tried to take advantage of the oldest by showing up out of the blue and trying to crash at his house when she was homeless. He had none of it and told her to fuck off, which she did. Although he was the one that told her to go, Dana believes it is his wife that made him shun her. None of her children want anything to do with her and for obviously good reasons. @Chips dubbo is Spencer Cain and he came into this thread, confirming her as having massive amounts of autism and currently lives with her. According to him, his family is aware of her stupidity and prefer her to let her make an ass out of herself.
Joel Irish - Dana Marie Cain's mortal enemy and center of undying love, whom she hates and lusts after with every fiber of her being. Basically, Joel didn't know she was crazy and banged her. Once his friends found out he was fucking crazy incarnate, they exposed him to her complete batshittery which then caused him to end things with her. Joel is responsible for both her figurative and literal butthurt.
Niles - According to Dana, he "tastes sweet, has two cats and a pet lizard; is a Star Wars fan, makes his own jewelry, keeps an immaculate house, is a fantastic kisser and has a perfect dick." Dana actually fucked Niles into cardiac arrest because of her voracious sexual appetite. Once Joel told Niles about Dana on Facebook and her insanity, Niles bolted and Dana was super blangry about it. She now claims Lucifer inhabits Niles and is in love with her. This is a dubious claim however since she keeps stating that Niles's associates and friends are trying to keep him from her.
Skip Cain - Also known as Roy Alfred Cain III and Judas. He is Dana's ex-husband who wanted Dana to get psych help. She called him "a really good listener." Dana thinks the government paid him off as well as Joel Irish to get psych help. Fun Fact!: He was born in February 1968. He divorced his former wife Crystal on April 29, 1997 and then married Dana on July 9, 1997. Bad decisions run everywhere in this family.
Luke - Someone in Portland that fucked Dana really well and mysteriously got promoted at their job which she took credit for.
The Drone Man - Some guy Dana was fucking who recorded their buttfucking session with a drone.
The Snakehandler, Azazel and Garden Home Sharis - Three of Dana's coworkers at whatever shithole restaurant she was waiting tables at. Blames them for getting her fired from the easiest job in the world.
Brick - Dana's former Shift Manager. Fired her for being a tard.She even wrote a tard memoir, which is proof that if this basket case can get her delusions published, then you sure as hell can get your gay ass MLP fan-fiction published too! Reach for the stars people!
View attachment 705629
Coming Out Of The Darkness - Kindle edition by Dana Marie Cain. Religion & Spirituality Kindle eBooks @ Amazon.com.
Coming Out Of The Darkness - Kindle edition by Dana Marie Cain. Download it once and read it on your Kindle device, PC, phones or tablets. Use features like bookmarks, note taking and highlighting while reading Coming Out Of The Darkness.www.amazon.com
"In 2010, Dana Marie Cain confronted death after complications from gastric bypass surgery in 2008 caused her to become so emaciated and anemic she collapsed in front of her children one August night, and she knew she didn't have long to live. Paramedics couldn't obtain a blood pressure, she couldn't feel her body, and she could not move or speak. She saw death in the faces of her two young sons as she was wheeled past and she knew she would never see them again.
When she thought of her husband and her other two sons working and living far away at the time, something sparked in Dana, a will to live that brought her back from the grave and into a world that she learned, to her horror, was simply waiting to die in the hopes of making it to a place called Heaven. Suddenly confronted with a world filled with the walking dead and those who claimed to see but were blind, Dana began the long journey to discover what had happened to her the night she saw death without the veil and realized everything she'd been told about God, Heaven, Life and Death was a lie. She became determined to discover the truth.
And through her long, painful recovery, she lost everything; her home, her job, most of her friends and family and yet was given something far more valuable than all those things. She was given real life. The kind that endures and heals and comforts and she was shown a world which revealed all its secrets to her as if it had been waiting for her to come along and it was glad to show her around. This is Dana's story, it is her testimony, and it is her plea. As you read, do not judge her too harshly; think of what she had to go through to get this knowledge and consider what she is telling you, for there is no harm in an open mind and there is only blessing for the open-hearted.
So, welcome, dear reader. Prepare to have everything you know challenged in a way that leads you to greater understanding of yourself and the world around you. Prepare for a whole new perspective on some old ideas. Prepare to leave wanting to know more, for the world is indeed magical, as are the ones who inhabit it."
There's so much more here and all of it hilarious. She frequently uploads then deletes videos multiple times a day due to her manic schizophrenia and autism, so unless someone wants to be a full-time archivist for this cow, you'll only get a few videos here and there. Apologies to anyone reading this thread where video links are broken. Blame the COSMOS for travelling at light speed but being butthurt about YouTube.
[UPDATE 2019/03/29] - Dana the Dick Destroyer is here and watching everything like an autistic hawk! Do not directly link YouTube videos if you can help it. Download them and re-upload them directly to this thread for MAXIMUM ASS DAMAGE!
https://www.facebook.com/danamariecain
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCpQKRrIIxAUe4uN3_NhXm2A (Old channel - Wiped from BUTTHURT)
www.youtube.com/channel/UCMlRF7Gbi5wh9Ss5TyZra7g (Current Channel)
Dana M. Cain
AKA Dana Marie Tinervin
AKA Dana Marie Tinervin-Cain.
AKA Dana M. Colby
AKA Dana M. Kotlarsz
AKA Dana M. Colby-Kotlarsz
D.O.B.: October 21, 1970 in Normal, Ohio
Lived in Washington, Utah, Texas and Oregon.
Special Thanks to @zedkissed60 and @The Ghost of ODB for Background Info.
Insider info this guy literally bordered on retarded in high school, used to do karate moves in the corner at high school dances. Not an ounce of intelligence in him. Has been hung up on Shandy since high school and claims thats why all of his marriages have failed even said he was gonna kill himself over her rejecting him. Fucked hundreds of women? Hardly, more like he can barely get a piece. The tough guy act is just an act he's a closet queer disguised as homophobe. Dangerous? Only in the sense that people this stupid are allowed to free range the streets. Has a "history?" Of failure. Has "stories"...none but bullshit and lies. Where tf did he dig up that fake as shit NYC accent? Call his number and hear how he really sounds like a nasal rimjobber. I personally know this asshat, he likes shit shoved up his ass on the regular and was caught behind the dumpsters at work getting ass rammed by one of the other guys. I still can't figure out the psycho meth head and why she needs to make videos to convince everyone what a "man" and "legend" this twatwaffle is
Hummm...I think we would like to hear more?
Well he's a legend as the only one she could land. Bordering on retarded is entirely believable. There should be an interesting response to the address reveal and this insider info about GM. The Goddess might even be able to take her mind off trashing her sons for a minute. So thank you for that. EDIT: This is going to be hilarious since she's warned us GM is so damn dangerous and connected we don't want to talk about him.
This absolutely captures it...
Agreed. @Hoodneck_ThugMuffn how did you find this thread? How long have you been following? Are you familiar with Barb?
Is anyone really surprised this guy is 5 beers short of a 6 pack? Makes perfect sense for our little DD. She finally has found a man dumb enough to be able to manipulate and get to do her bidding. She will either have him dead or in jail inside of a year. Easy. It's sad really. His family will remain worried for not only his liver and mental health, but also for his life. She will suck him dry like she does all men in her life, drain the bank account, then off to the next victim.
This is quite possibly the funniest shit I've heard all week. This is some Napoleon dynamite tier shit.
It's sad for his family yes, who have probably been through this sort of thing before. If this really does get to the point of a wedding, people need to stand up and object. Still, this revelatory entry is the funniest one we've had here in awhile.
