So, a few years ago, a friend showed me this book she had that was written by a high school/college classmate of hers. We got drunk and did dramatic readings out of it, and it's pretty fantastic for that purpose. Years later, I picked it up on Amazon on a whim. When I bought it, it was $20 or $30. A bit steep for being a total piece of shit, but sure glad I got it back then!
The price as of this posting is ridiculous:
To give you an idea of what this guy was like (according to my friend), he'd shove one of those Hallmark cards with the speakers in them in his locker so that every time he opened it, "Bad To The Bone" would play. When he got to college and had to take comp, he tried to get out writing assignments by reminding his professor that he already published a novel.
He got this published through Publish America--a vanity publisher--and apparently kept hundreds of copies at his house. No editing was done, as far as I can tell.
The novel is split up into chapters, with each chapter covering events from the perspective of the main character and then from his love interest, a 200-year-old vampire named Lara. Every time Levesque describes the self-insert in Dark Truths, he's wearing the same clothes, which are very similar to the above pic.
Here's one of my favorite excerpts from Chapter 3. Errors are as they're presented in the book.
Anyway, if there's interest, I'll post more excerpts or record a dramatic reading or two. Anyone else know anyone who's published a shitty novel and wanna share?
The price as of this posting is ridiculous:
"He killed his first when he was only seven. He was trained to think differently, move faster, become stronger, and feel no pain. He fights a war on his own with no one who cares about his life. She has lived for 209 years cursed with the thirst for blood and with immortality. She is haunted by the memories of her past, forced to remember the painful memories that haunt her mind. She tries to find peace in her cursed life. But in Darmez, Nevada, chance has a way of changing things. This is what happens when they meet."
"My name is Justin Levesque. This is my first story I've been able to put on paper. I come up with stories all the time in my head. However, I could never put even one of them down on paper. I don't know why. When I started writing Dark Truths I came up with all sorts of ideas and possibilities. The ideas popped into my head one at a time. Each one grew into new details, then a page, and then a chapter. Even as I wrote this book I started thinking up ideas for the next books I will be writing. I come up with ideas all the time but most come from my dreams. I believe that dreams are the most precious things anyone can have. They helped inspire me to start writing this book and they'll help me with my other books as well. Dreams can help turn a single idea into a brand new world. I hope you enjoyed reading Dark Truths. I can't wait to write my next book for all of you to read."
To give you an idea of what this guy was like (according to my friend), he'd shove one of those Hallmark cards with the speakers in them in his locker so that every time he opened it, "Bad To The Bone" would play. When he got to college and had to take comp, he tried to get out writing assignments by reminding his professor that he already published a novel.
He got this published through Publish America--a vanity publisher--and apparently kept hundreds of copies at his house. No editing was done, as far as I can tell.
The novel is split up into chapters, with each chapter covering events from the perspective of the main character and then from his love interest, a 200-year-old vampire named Lara. Every time Levesque describes the self-insert in Dark Truths, he's wearing the same clothes, which are very similar to the above pic.
The main character, Daren--whose name you don't know until 47 pages in--is the aforementioned self-insert. He's introduced to us as a vampire-hunting sperg who has bad dreams about his mom dying at the hands of some evil vampire.
Lara, the love interest, is described as follows:
"...[The] only thing he could see was his reflection in the glass. He was tall about 5'11, with light brown medium length curly hair, hazel green eyes, with and athletic build, and he saw his changes since the last time, two years ago, now he is 17 years old. He sighed and said, "so many years and now I've finally might have found that fucker."
He jumped on his black crotch rocket, with his black work boots, black jeans that are torn up at the bottom, along with his black silk like t-shirt, and black leather jacket. He knew that he over did it with the black but it makes it so he can't be seen easily by normal people at night. He then made sure he had both of his pistols in their holsters on his belt. The holsters where big and shaped different for a reason that only made since to him. He then checked a little behind his gun on his left to find his hunting knife, long solid blade with a leather grip in the handle, still in its sheath. Once he knew everything was in place, he grabbed the handles to he's bike and drove off into the night."
He jumped on his black crotch rocket, with his black work boots, black jeans that are torn up at the bottom, along with his black silk like t-shirt, and black leather jacket. He knew that he over did it with the black but it makes it so he can't be seen easily by normal people at night. He then made sure he had both of his pistols in their holsters on his belt. The holsters where big and shaped different for a reason that only made since to him. He then checked a little behind his gun on his left to find his hunting knife, long solid blade with a leather grip in the handle, still in its sheath. Once he knew everything was in place, he grabbed the handles to he's bike and drove off into the night."
Lara, the love interest, is described as follows:
"...[She] couldn't help but look in the mirror. She had long straight dark red hair almost blood like as some vampires have said, she was about 5'9, she had an athletic figure, and her eyes like any other vampires where hazel black. ... Lara also checked her outfit. Her blue jeans looked fine, along with her light blue small t-shirt. To humans she would look like a 16 maybe 17 year old, but she was actually 207 years old."
Here's one of my favorite excerpts from Chapter 3. Errors are as they're presented in the book.
He started to walk around the town and know his way around. People thought he was 18 or when they asked about him being in school he just said, "I dropped out" or "I just moved I haven't been transferred yet." It was easy to tell a lie and do many other things since his training with the hunters.
His mind went back when he was first brought into training. He knew some tricks and killed a vampire but he needed to learn more in order to survive. He was about seven when he was brought in and started to train. During the day he trained his body; to fight, run faster, and be stronger. At night he trained his mind; to think faster, hack a computer, find a quick escape route, hide and tell peoples emotions, and to memorize basic information. He tried never to sleep because of the constant nightmare or dream he has every time he does sleep.
While he was thinking back and walking he noticed an old store. It looked like it was from the 70's but it was a gun store. He walked in and looked around. It was a descent store with shotguns, rifles, and pistols along with their ammo. He saw the counter worker, an old man about his 80's, and walked up to him. The counterman asked, "What can I get for you kid, we're have'n a sale so what ever ya need just say so."
He simply asked, "Do you have .45 caliber Heckler bullets?"
"Ya we do for about $20 a box," the counterman replied.
"How many are in each box?"
"About 40 bullets each or so give n take."
"How much do you want for the clips for the same kind of gun?"
"I'll take about oh.........$15 each, how about that."
"I'll take about 10 boxes of bullets and 6 clips."
"Jesus Christ son are ya going to war or something!"
"Couldn't hurt to be ready for anything."
"Okay well it's up to you." The counterman then went into the back and got all the stuff. While the counterman was doing that he pulled out his wallet and got out a total of $400. The counter man gave him the stuff and he handed him the money. The counter man quickly said, "Wow, son that's too much."
"I know keep the change for your retirement, it's not much but it'll help later" With out another word he was out the door. He didn't want the old man to give back the money cause of two reasons. One, he wanted to help out the guy if he could. Two, he might not live long enough to use the extra $110.
He quickly went to a clothes store and bought some extra black pants and shirts. He put the bag from the gun store inside the bag from the clothes store. Luckily no one asked any questions. He walked around looking at all the people; parents, business workers, drop outs, thugs, and others that where out there. He couldn't help but wonder how he's like would have been different if the vampires never existed. He walked for hours with that thought in mind. He walked around memorizing what was where. He didn't bother with the street names, since he couldn't remember names to save his life any ways.
He watched each person carefully to see who has contacts where. He was mostly looking for a perfect rat. He also looked at stores and roads memorizing what was where. He listened to every word he could, trying to at least get an understanding of what the people know.
He heard the school bell ring for it to end so he quickly walked towards the rural end of town. He saw many teenagers that just got out of school run around joking, others heading to sports practice, and others excited to go to a party. He listened in on where it was and then headed for his apartment. He finally got to the apartment he rented and got his things ready for what he was going to do tonight.
His mind went back when he was first brought into training. He knew some tricks and killed a vampire but he needed to learn more in order to survive. He was about seven when he was brought in and started to train. During the day he trained his body; to fight, run faster, and be stronger. At night he trained his mind; to think faster, hack a computer, find a quick escape route, hide and tell peoples emotions, and to memorize basic information. He tried never to sleep because of the constant nightmare or dream he has every time he does sleep.
While he was thinking back and walking he noticed an old store. It looked like it was from the 70's but it was a gun store. He walked in and looked around. It was a descent store with shotguns, rifles, and pistols along with their ammo. He saw the counter worker, an old man about his 80's, and walked up to him. The counterman asked, "What can I get for you kid, we're have'n a sale so what ever ya need just say so."
He simply asked, "Do you have .45 caliber Heckler bullets?"
"Ya we do for about $20 a box," the counterman replied.
"How many are in each box?"
"About 40 bullets each or so give n take."
"How much do you want for the clips for the same kind of gun?"
"I'll take about oh.........$15 each, how about that."
"I'll take about 10 boxes of bullets and 6 clips."
"Jesus Christ son are ya going to war or something!"
"Couldn't hurt to be ready for anything."
"Okay well it's up to you." The counterman then went into the back and got all the stuff. While the counterman was doing that he pulled out his wallet and got out a total of $400. The counter man gave him the stuff and he handed him the money. The counter man quickly said, "Wow, son that's too much."
"I know keep the change for your retirement, it's not much but it'll help later" With out another word he was out the door. He didn't want the old man to give back the money cause of two reasons. One, he wanted to help out the guy if he could. Two, he might not live long enough to use the extra $110.
He quickly went to a clothes store and bought some extra black pants and shirts. He put the bag from the gun store inside the bag from the clothes store. Luckily no one asked any questions. He walked around looking at all the people; parents, business workers, drop outs, thugs, and others that where out there. He couldn't help but wonder how he's like would have been different if the vampires never existed. He walked for hours with that thought in mind. He walked around memorizing what was where. He didn't bother with the street names, since he couldn't remember names to save his life any ways.
He watched each person carefully to see who has contacts where. He was mostly looking for a perfect rat. He also looked at stores and roads memorizing what was where. He listened to every word he could, trying to at least get an understanding of what the people know.
He heard the school bell ring for it to end so he quickly walked towards the rural end of town. He saw many teenagers that just got out of school run around joking, others heading to sports practice, and others excited to go to a party. He listened in on where it was and then headed for his apartment. He finally got to the apartment he rented and got his things ready for what he was going to do tonight.
Anyway, if there's interest, I'll post more excerpts or record a dramatic reading or two. Anyone else know anyone who's published a shitty novel and wanna share?
