• ”keep telling yourself that, chickenshit anonymous sociopathic little man who gets his jollies talking shit about his intellectual and moral superiors.”

DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil BurnellGeneral Discussion

Discussion in 'Phil Burnell / DarkSydePhil' started by A Witty Name, May 17, 2013.

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no one can help you

?

What will Phil's on-stream e-begging tips goal be?

  1. < $1000

    14.4%
  2. $1000-$1999

    11.2%
  3. $2000-$2999

    18.2%
  4. $3000-$3999

    5.3%
  5. $4000+

    50.8%
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The Lolcow Wiki has an article on Darksydephil
  1. K/D is an inherently flawed metric, so finding a way to make in indicative of skill is probably going to be more trouble than it's worth. You'd probably have to compare it against the quality of his opponents and weight accordingly (i.e a kill on a player with a .5 k/d for that game is worth "less" than a kill on a player who finished the match with a 2 k/d), but that requires way too many vaccines.

    E: I suppose you could factor in win/loss, but that's also too variable. Players who predominantly play in parties with friends are going to have an artificially higher w/l than if they were to all play solo. Could also be cheesed by unplugging your router before the end of a match, since CoD pretends games you disconnect from never happened and therefore doesn't count them as losses (or that's how it was last time I played, anyway).
     
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    #80301 Shick, Jan 11, 2019 at 11:47 PM
    Last edited: Jan 12, 2019 at 12:20 AM
    Shick

    Shick Body by Nabisco

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  2. The 17th or so through the 22nd.
     
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    actually

    Supervisor True & Honest Fan

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  3. I think a better way of judging how good Phil is at COD is looking at his accuracy and headshots. Someone posted the numbers a while ago and they were pretty bad. He consistantly misses his shots and when he does hit it's almost never a headshot. Getting kills is important, but I think being able to aim is more important.
     
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  4. Remember when he said during the RDR2 stream that its impossible to aim to the head? HE DIDNT KNOW YOU CAN ADJUST THE AIM. Same with CoD... he never lifts up the crosshair, always shoots at the belt height or under.
     
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  5. I think that was me too, and yeah, his hit rate is about 23% and his headshot percent is about 5%. He usually doesn't even aim down sights.
     
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    actually

    Supervisor True & Honest Fan

    kiwifarms.net
  6. OH NOES!!!
    Whats that in his time?

    [​IMG]
     
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  7. Maybe he should do some fun and chill interaction with a doctor at some point. Else he will be 'choking' for weeks to come
     
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    tarni

    tarni rhineland conqueror

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  8. Cant sleep tweet1.PNG
    Cant sleep tweet2.PNG

    DSP_take_a_sip.png
     

    Attached Files:

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  9. This isn't normal. He really needs to see a doctor.
     
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    Freshtodeath

    Freshtodeath Kwhality Khantent

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  10. yes he does
    he also needs to go outside and exercise
    he needs to stop drinking
    he needs to stop talking for long stretches and yelling like a bitch when he dies in a game
    he needs to spend time with kat since she's sick and needs his attention


    but he wont do it
     
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    ZehnBoat

    ZehnBoat Good for health, Bad for education

    kiwifarms.net
  11. This is just WRONG!! How can true and honest fans of Phil live with themselves now!‽ They didn't step up when Phil needed them most!

    Can they not see that by not donating this week and reaching his daily goals they are LITERALLY making DSP sicker! Better crack open those wallets because DSP needs a prescription, and that prescription is... more money!
     
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    AkAuZtIk

    AkAuZtIk War Crimes? Hang on, let me just wet my whistle...

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  12. His throat is throbbing? Is he transmuting into a frog or something?
     
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    Pubic Enemy #1

    Pubic Enemy #1 Oi m8 wot if ur mam was an email

    kiwifarms.net
  13. "Yellin' at young'uns in Blops" isn't a cause for localized, persistent throat pain, buddy. You'll really want to read the little quote below...

    ...because this is correct.

    https://www.healthline.com/health/esophageal-ulcer

    Only one possibility but (powerlevel) they do not get better on their own and can fuck you up double-quick. If you develop a hole in your throat it can kill you a half-dozen different ways and even if you seek treatment the damage can be very expensive and time-consuming to repair.

    Stop fucking around and go to a doctor, Phil.
     
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    Pargon

    Pargon Mr. Self-Destruct

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  14. Simple solution since he still scans this webzone due to being a sensitive pissbaby: Stop fucking watching netflix at night and stop chugging caffeine Pigroach.

    This combined with minor exercise? You'll be good at going to sleep at your semi-sane time of choice within a couple of days. Then just watch your manchild clump in the morning before you do your pretend big boy job of hiding in closets while silently looking like a miserable and colicky baby whenever you don't honk about getting killed.
     
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    Adamska

    Adamska Last Gunman
    True & Honest Fan

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  15. I think he has been drinking again. Cannot fathom a sickness ping ponging between them because this all just sounds ridiculous.
    edit:
    This is very good advice. There were times where I was having trouble sleeping and it was just because I was sitting around all day doing nothing like Phil. It goes double for him since he's consuming these energy drinks and possibly the alcohol he consumes which will keep you up as well.
     
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  16. DoorsydePhil, Episode 5: Call of Duty: Black Ops 4 Multiplayer

    (working title: How A 36-Year-Old Man Went Full Retared While Playing A Video Game Against Pussy Children)



    My personal favorite part: 2:14.
     
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  17. These muffled clips have to be my most favorite detractor meme. This shit is hilarious!
     
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    Wurstbrot

    Wurstbrot Basic Understanding Of Time

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  18. *snorts gallons of mucus down the back of his throat daily* "guys my throat hurts because I yelled"
     
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  19. I doubt anything is actually wrong with his throat. He's just hemming and hawing too hard at a kids' game while downing gin every night before bed -- anyone's throat would be fucked with that routine. It certainly won't stop him from whining on twitter how it's the worst thing ever and you need to give him money since that'd be better medicine than a lozenge.
     
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  20. I know this isn't going to get an answer, but when is Phil going to start showing basic competence? Seeing a doctor about his snorting/coughing/throat, not spending money he can't afford to spend, keeping his pre-stream off his streams. Seriously, Phil, you could take all those pre-streams, excise them from your streams and release them in podcast form instead, and people might complain less. Because, let's face it, nobody wants to fast-forward an hour+ just to watch you play.
     
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