DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

What "new" thing is Phil putting out to beg for more money?

  • New loveseat (even though he's totally broke ;) )

    Votes: 11 17.7%
  • Green screen

    Votes: 6 9.7%
  • That old chair Frogga pointed out

    Votes: 8 12.9%
  • Gamer chair

    Votes: 2 3.2%
  • Dusty ass jerseys

    Votes: 8 12.9%
  • Combination of 2 of the above

    Votes: 27 43.5%

  • Total voters
    62
  • Poll closed .

Surly Muppet

kiwifarms.net
I still maintain Texas would have been a perfect choice except for the fact that he is ultra bitch-made and thinks temperatures in the 90s are a massive heatwave. He could have gotten a place in the suburbs of Austin, TX. That would have afforded access to high speed internet, a stupid amount of diverse food, and even the opportunity to collaborate with other streamers (yes, yes, he's a blubbering pussy and wouldn't do it, but it's about the possibility).
The ironic thing is that if he had gone to a consistently hotter place like Texas, he also could have easily got a house that actually had central AC, so he could have been consistently cooler in his house than Seattle. It's just like his shortsightedness with the taxes - no income tax? That must mean no taxes at all! Cool weather? That must mean it'll never get hot at all!

He's bitchmade though, so I'm sure he would have found something that upset him. He'd probably claim he could occasionally 'smell Mexico' or something.
 
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Iamfrigide

Registered gay.
kiwifarms.net
Don’t worry... It’s a weekday, so that means Khat is doing stretches with the Jim.

DSPs son: Jasper the cat will just crawl into a closet at the first sign of danger. So that leaves Phil. And he’s a real badass who can protect himself, from what I understand from his streams!


BTW: One of the most pathetic moments in recent DSP history, must have been when he said that his goal was to be... A good father to his son: Jasper.

Wtf?!? How can anyone say that with a straight fucking face?! (Unless they’re idk... Some little ol’ grandpa or something.)
Dsp racing to grab his hatchets when his detractor sense tingles.

tenor.gif


The ironic thing is that if he had gone to a consistently hotter place like Texas, he also could have easily got a house that actually had central AC, so he could have been consistently cooler in his house than Seattle. It's just like his shortsightedness with the taxes - no income tax? That must mean no taxes at all! Cool weather? That must mean it'll never get hot at all!

He's bitchmade though, so I'm sure he would have found something that upset him. He'd probably claim he could occasional 'smell Mexico' or something.
You boys are overthinking things. This is how it happened, start to finish.
WOW, TAXES ARE CRAZY HIGH.
Googles lowest taxes in the states.
Sees the list is:
  • Wyoming (I'm not a hick!)
  • Washington (I think I've heard of this place!)
  • Texas (Too hot! I'd die!)
  • South Dakota (There's a SOUTH Dakota?)
  • Nevada (I like gambling, but I hate hookers and heat!)
  • Florida (Cubans. Also, humid!)
  • Alaska (Where?)
Leanna chimes in "I love Florida! Great place to live! Great for soap businesses, too!"
Phil looks at her, annoyed and scornful, "Uh, no, babe. I think Florida Man lives there, and they've never caught him."

And so it was, that Washington was deemed not the best, but the least horrible place for him to live. He promptly collared the Panda and dragged her across the country, never to see her family again. Just like real Pandas!
 
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SojiroSakura

kiwifarms.net
I got a feeling we’re about to get a shoutout guise!

“So alotta peepul started messaging me last night saying “Phil, you gotta check this out, this is pretty disconcerting, alright?

*SNORT*

So I go to this detractor site, a forum that many of these shitheads use, ok? And they have posted pictures of MY HOUSE! This is how sick these people are.

ACK! ACK! ACK!

So when I don’t share all the things that are going on behind the scenes, or the details of my finances *WETSNORT* or show you mah phone, you know, there’s a reason for that, alright?”
But I can show you my phone anytime we talk about food, hokay? *SNORT*
 

Random Paladin

Fuck muties and fuck ghouls
kiwifarms.net
Just goes to show how fucking stupid Phil is.

Fuck, if he had done what anyone with half a brain would have done: And SELL his old place before getting a new one, he could have taken the money from that and moved to Idaho, Wyoming or Kansas and outright bought a nice three bedroom home with no mortgage or nothing.

Yeah, he’d might have to drive an hour to go see a movie, and his takeout options would be limited to just a few places instead of a dozen. But he never would have to worry about mortgages or business taxes again.
Plus it would be easier for him to purchase a firearm instead of a self-defense hatchet, and it would be easier to spot someone trying to touch the p00p, so to speak. Now that the bankruptcy thing is over, and he has no kids, moving to better state should be in his 5 year plan, but alas...piglogic.
 

Sparkletor 2.0

My first Jonbenet accidentally died
kiwifarms.net
Although I don't believe Phil has ever talked about it on stream, we can gather from Leanna's old soap blog that Phil may have a phobia of natural disasters.

She stated that Phil did not want to move to Florida or Texas since they have frequent hurricanes and tornadoes.

Phil has stated that when it snowed in Connecticut he was stuck inside for days and had to subsist off pizza delivery because the roads were undrivable.

He fears ice because he could possibly slip and fall and reinjure his back.
 

RockHawk

kiwifarms.net
Although I don't believe Phil has ever talked about it on stream, we can gather from Leanna's old soap blog that Phil may have a phobia of natural disasters.

She stated that Phil did not want to move to Florida or Texas since they have frequent hurricanes and tornadoes.

Phil has stated that when it snowed in Connecticut he was stuck inside for days and had to subsist off pizza delivery because the roads were undrivable.

He fears ice because he could possibly slip and fall and reinjure his back.
>roads undrivable
>pizza delivery

imagine the gymnastics required to get these two ends to meet, holy shit. pignosis indeed
 

Surly Muppet

kiwifarms.net
imagine the gymnastics required to get these two ends to meet, holy shit. pignosis indeed
Well, roads were too dangerous for someone as important as Phil. Some loser pizza guy can wreck and die on his way. Phil will just call after 30 minutes and ask them to send another pizza for free.

Phil has stated that when it snowed in Connecticut he was stuck inside for days and had to subsist off pizza delivery because the roads were undrivable.
My favourite snow meme is the 'shoveling' he had to do at the condo. The one that had we found out had snow removal service. So he was angry they didn't clean off his car, basically.

But I feel like the source on some of that info might speak volumes - Phil may have told the naive Leanna that she'd die in a hurricane in Florida because he had already set his beady eyes on Washington and needed to dismiss everything she wanted. Not unlike claiming that he needs constant breaks so that his body doesn't clot up and his heart doesn't explode on stream, Phil is not above sounding like a total paranoid weirdo to weasel out of things he doesn't want to do.

Imagine Phil walking. I mean, it's just hilarious.
On that note, does anyone have that clip of Phil walking around in that restaurant in CT? The one filmed by Leanna, where he was doing his strut-waddle in a leather jacket? Or was that on her channel and lost in its original form?
 

marlintan

kiwifarms.net
What the fuck, this guy is more personable and eloquent than Phil could ever hope to be on his best day. I'm so used to DSP supporters being absolute wrecks of human beings that it's surreal to listen to one and have them be able to communicate on something higher than a third grade level.

Brandon, serious offer to come here and explain why you support the Lusitania of the streaming world. You seem like a well-spoken guy so maybe you can educate us where others have failed. I think people here will more or less treat you with respect.
I was in here years ago trying to be a white knight faggot about people making fun of his wife's appearance, he was always personable in the chat when I followed DSP more closely... I agree, he seems like he would get a fair shake around these parts.

Also, spending money on someone that is not him?
Attention going somewhere that is not him?
Lift the thing? Carry it? Refer to it by its name and not its title?
Feed it and not himself? Stay sober throughout the night in case something happens?
And to top it all off: Fuck a woman until that low sperm count load does its job?
You forget the diaper changes and hospital visits my good sir.
 

Penix

kiwifarms.net
On that note, does anyone have that clip of Phil walking around in that restaurant in CT? The one filmed by Leanna, where he was doing his strut-waddle in a leather jacket? Or was that on her channel and lost in its original form?
Pretty much all my interaction with Phil has been through detractor content. There is just so much stuff surrounding this guy, I decided to check out some of his channels just now to try and navigate through a bit of the Philverse and my god does this guy shit out a lot of content.

I've completely missed old school Phil except for some highlights posted here. I'll try and check out his flogging channel the coming time to see if I can find some gems. With the emphasis on "try" because you just can't make any commitments with this guy.
 

marlintan

kiwifarms.net
I still maintain Texas would have been a perfect choice except for the fact that he is ultra bitch-made and thinks temperatures in the 90s are a massive heatwave. He could have gotten a place in the suburbs of Austin, TX. That would have afforded access to high speed internet, a stupid amount of diverse food, and even the opportunity to collaborate with other streamers (yes, yes, he's a blubbering pussy and wouldn't do it, but it's about the possibility).
Yea but he could open carry a rifle and get shot in Austin riots like that other idiot few weeks ago
 

Fapcop

kiwifarms.net
Although I don't believe Phil has ever talked about it on stream, we can gather from Leanna's old soap blog that Phil may have a phobia of natural disasters.

She stated that Phil did not want to move to Florida or Texas since they have frequent hurricanes and tornadoes.

Phil has stated that when it snowed in Connecticut he was stuck inside for days and had to subsist off pizza delivery because the roads were undrivable.

He fears ice because he could possibly slip and fall and reinjure his back.
Wait... “subsist of pizza delivery because the roads were undrivable”?! So how the fuck did the pizzas get delivered?

Sounds like the roads were passable to everyone who isn’t a giant pussy.

Didn’t want to move to Texas because he might see a tornado once in a blue moon. What a fucking pussy!

Phil really is a coward at heart, and lives his life that way. He’s such a scared, pampered little child, it’s sad.
 

ReentryPhantom

It is business related, and I still own it.
kiwifarms.net
Too hot. Phil chose the mildest climate in the US (mild winters, dry summers that very rarely breach 90 degrees). and he still bitches about it. And Kansas doesn't have the metro rep that Renton Seattle does. He doesn't want to settle in some place reasonable for him, he wants dat clout.

Also I don't know how many Kansas homes offer gated systems against teh trollz.
Hello, former Kansan here. There are some, but not very many. Wichita would have honestly been his best bet. Cheap, big city feel with tons of food options and he could have lived in one of the gated communities far west or far east of town.
 

Cistern Rumbler

just here for the lols
kiwifarms.net
Plus it would be easier for him to purchase a firearm instead of a self-defense hatchet, and it would be easier to spot someone trying to touch the p00p, so to speak. Now that the bankruptcy thing is over, and he has no kids, moving to better state should be in his 5 year plan, but alas...piglogic.
DSP can't even handle driving, dear god I hope he never gets a licence to own a firearm.
 

Fapcop

kiwifarms.net
Kind of ironic how Phil how Phil is so paranoid about his fragile, porcelain back.

And at the same time does the worst thing imaginable for it: Absolutely nothing.

Do some exercises, strengthen the back muscles? Nah! Let’s sit on a couch and do absolutely nothing to prevent it from further atrophy!