DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

What "new" thing is Phil putting out to beg for more money?

  • New loveseat (even though he's totally broke ;) )

    Votes: 11 17.7%
  • Green screen

    Votes: 6 9.7%
  • That old chair Frogga pointed out

    Votes: 8 12.9%
  • Gamer chair

    Votes: 2 3.2%
  • Dusty ass jerseys

    Votes: 8 12.9%
  • Combination of 2 of the above

    Votes: 27 43.5%

  • Total voters
    62
  • Poll closed .

TheGoutburglar

The only good pigroach is a salty one.
kiwifarms.net
It'll never stop being hilarious to me that Phil has gone to the trouble of pretending to be a happily married man who is so much better than his detractors, because all it has done is take his rep down even further.

Say what you will about the celebrity marriages that have fallen apart in front of the entire world, at least those people weren't faking it just so that a bunch of tards on the internet would be impressed by how mature they are. That is easily the most pathetic thing about Phil. Not even his incompetency at video games, or his lies regarding such, come close to the adult LARPing.
 

Sparkletor 2.0

My first Jonbenet accidentally died
kiwifarms.net
I already said this in another post but his "tip me to show me you support this playthrough" makes no sense because he is asking his youtube audience to tip him off-stream so how would he know that he tip is to support Yakuza 7? And even if they wrote in the tip message "this is for Yakuza 7 keep streaming it pls" does he have an excel where he has the tips for every game he is playing and uses that to choose if he has to keep playing a game or not? It doesn't make much sense is just begging with a retarded excuse. (also good job asking for tips offline that you wont be able to verify if they are real or not, what happened with that narrative? You want more chargebacks or what?)
I've seen videos where the person at the end of the video plugs their patreon or etsy shop. "I wrote a book. It's for sale on amazon" that type of stuff. I've never seen anyone except Phil ask people to directly send them money. It's not a tip, it's using your bank card to directly transfer money from your account into his. "Tip" is just smoke and mirrors, it's a bank transaction.

If you like this video, please consider tipping me. Guess what? It's YouTube. What will happen if Phil doesn't get paid and he cancels the playthrough? The viewer will want to see how the game ends, so they will type in Yakuza and find someone else's video to watch. Congratulations, you just lost a viewer.

Business degree
 

TheGreatWhiteNorth

kiwifarms.net
It'll never stop being hilarious to me that Phil has gone to the trouble of pretending to be a happily married man who is so much better than his detractors, because all it has done is take his rep down even further.

Say what you will about the celebrity marriages that have fallen apart in front of the entire world, at least those people weren't faking it just so that a bunch of tards on the internet would be impressed by how mature they are. That is easily the most pathetic thing about Phil. Not even his incompetency at video games, or his lies regarding such, come close to the adult LARPing.

What are the odds that Kat is the "responsible" one, and DSP is just reliving his high school years while still trying to get paid? No wonder we get the Freudian slips.
 

SauceRyuKen

Random mashed DP. Dave's Ghost Sauce.
kiwifarms.net
Kat is responsible from a certain point of view. From what we know of her she's probably into overdrive when something unacceptable happens, what she deems acceptable living standards is pretty humble. Kat's likely to go into overdrive and make things happen fast if things aren't acceptable. I.E Fly me to Washington right now, because my boyfriend found out I was cheating on him with you and I'm gonna have to live rough for a while if you don't fix it for me. Bottomline is, Kat won't allow Phil to let the household fall beyond a certain standard, but the standard is so low, Phil wouldn't have considered it for himself either. She's also pretty laissez faire about house upkeep and seems happy to let Phil stew in his sweaty, moldy mancave with a snake pit of cables. She doesn't even seem to push Phil for staycations or anything of the sort. Phil also once proudly declared that she was very good about his body functions, so she's probably fine with him smelling all the time and having greasy hair due to extremely poor hygiene. That's another big piece of evidence that Khet and Phil don't have underwear time.

Living rough and having a shitty life generally builds up your tolerance and resilience like you wouldn't believe, and it also lowers your expectations. As a lot of people have said since Khet appeared, she really has no ambitions beyond 3 hots, a cot, and a dovah domain to play whatever refurbished Skyrim versions come out. Enough money to sustain that and she'll be happy until the day she dies. Like The Dude, basically. Humble life goals aren't inherently bad. Phil's far more ambitious than she is, and a much bigger earner, but we only get to see glimpses of that, when he suddenly wants to rub our noses in how succesful he is. And yes, Phil makes a lot of money. It's just that through crying poor constantly, it seems like he's in hot water all the time. And maybe he blows through his stacks that fast, but I'd be amazed if all he gets is really just groceries, haircuts and meals out. But then again, Phil doesn't seem to want much outside of that. God knows what he blows his stacks on outside of stupid, useless gacha pulls. Wasteful to say the least.

The cliffsnotes version of it is: Phil was a fucking fool to put a ring on her. While it secures her financially, it also gives her the option of cutting the dead weight if she gets bored, and maybe even manage to keep the Wakhando. Kat's life is sorted out until Phil drops dead, and she doesn't even have to keep him around. And while she's responsible enough to push him to keep that living standard, she's not ambitious enough to go any further and is pretty happy where she is.

It's funny that Phil calls her Mham at times, because Kat definitely sees him as Sugar Daddy Gout, the strong male provider and caretaker she never had. The marriage is a complete sham, but Phil's such an insecure idiot, and Kat's had such a rough go of things, neither of them wants anything more or anything else.
 

DontEatSilicaGel

kiwifarms.net
Business degree

Is it really though? I had some old videos playing in the background where he stated he went to university on a computer sciences degree, switched to business then switched to finance.

Each one of those is hysterical in the context of DSP. Just curious as I've always accepted his "I'm a mature adult with a business degree" line...
 
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ReentryPhantom

It is business related, and I still own it.
kiwifarms.net
Is it really though? I had some old videos playing in the background where he stated he went to university on a computer sciences degree, switched to business then switched to finance.

Each one of those is hysterical in the context of DSP. Just curious as I've always accepted his "I'm a mature adult with a business degree" line...
There is a video where he shows off his degree. I don't remember which one though. I couldn't read it because it was entirely in Latin. /s. Luckily DSP studied Latin so he knows how to read it.
 
I already said this in another post but his "tip me to show me you support this playthrough" makes no sense because he is asking his youtube audience to tip him off-stream so how would he know that he tip is to support Yakuza 7? And even if they wrote in the tip message "this is for Yakuza 7 keep streaming it pls" does he have an excel where he has the tips for every game he is playing and uses that to choose if he has to keep playing a game or not? It doesn't make much sense is just begging with a retarded excuse. (also good job asking for tips offline that you wont be able to verify if they are real or not, what happened with that narrative? You want more chargebacks or what?)
It also doesn't make sense when you consider that it's often one or two viewers that kahntribute to the bulk of the daily tips goal.
If a single whale gave you $70, how does that make you think that the majority of your viewerbase is interested in the current game, or enjoy the quality of the current stream?
It's literal guilt-tripping, no other explanation for it. "I'm going to drop this game, OH WELL, I sure wish I could keep playing but YOU GUYS don't want me to! *sigh*" It's the kind of shit that a mom would do to her 6 year old child. "I WAS gonna cook some delicious potatoes tonight, but you didn't do your homework, oh well..." It's outright manipulative.
"Tip" is just smoke and mirrors, it's a bank transaction.
Phil literally thinks that saying "tipping" makes him better than other streamers. It's not begging, it's my viewers rewarding me for the services I provide!
 

Surly Muppet

kiwifarms.net
If you like this video, please consider tipping me. Guess what? It's YouTube. What will happen if Phil doesn't get paid and he cancels the playthrough? The viewer will want to see how the game ends, so they will type in Yakuza and find someone else's video to watch. Congratulations, you just lost a viewer.
He may actually be thinking logically here in that if these people, when given an ocean of options for content creators on YT, chose Phil to voluntarily watch, they are likely so retarded they don't realize they could just watch the rest on another channel. I'm actually with him on that one.

But I do like that we're approaching the point where he just says 'pay me $100 each stream to play this game or I drop it'. He was trying to meme on LTG there for a while, joking that he would mute his mic until he got a tip, but he's approaching the top of that very same slippery slope right now.

Phil literally thinks that saying "tipping" makes him better than other streamers. It's not begging, it's my viewers rewarding me for the services I provide!
That and 'contributions are not mandatory', and then immediately following up with 'but this is my job and I need tips for groceries.'

Well then they're mandatory unless people want you to starve. You saying they're not does not make you better than anyone else reliant on this for their living, just because they don't veer out of their way to lie about it.
 

Tatu Carreta

kiwifarms.net
Is it really though? I had some old videos playing in the background where he stated he went to university on a computer sciences degree, switched to business then switched to finance.

Each one of those is hysterical in the context of DSP. Just curious as I've always accepted his "I'm a mature adult with a business degree" line...
His mature adult business degree is one of the things that makes him a cow, he spent thousands of hours learning how to do business and doesn't understand the most basic things about it, in marketing for example you learn that everyone has a relation to your product in which they have an idea related to your brand and you need to do something to control that idea and put it into a positive light, therefore you need to understand your audience in things like characteristics and needs so you can know your target market better and offer a product that adds value to them. What does Phil do? He ignores every single suggestion that his fans give him so he doesn't deliver a good product and if someone says his product is bad instead of changing he bans them.

He makes no effort to attract new people and even less to retain the audience that he has(for example ending the stream when someone is raiding him). Content creators have it super easy when it comes to understanding what their audience wants and Phil never takes advantage of this, when he asked on twitter what he could change to make his streams better he ignored all the answers except one that said that he should change something that wasn't him and was completely inconsequential

He also doesn't understand that his streaming business functions in a dynamic environment and that he is the one that has to change since he cant change the environment that he is in, what does Phil do? He does the exact same thing every day until he is absolutely forced to change. He also doesn't watch other streamers or knows anything about what other content creators do on youtube so good job doing your research on your competition so you can learn from them.

I don't think its possible for a narcissistic autist like him to be able to do business ,how can you take decisions that will make your business better if you blame all of your problems on your environment? He is incapable of offering something that people actually want so all he can do is beg to a bunch of people that identify with him due to being as dysfunctional as him.

There is a video where he shows off his degree. I don't remember which one though. I couldn't read it because it was entirely in Latin. /s. Luckily DSP studied Latin so he knows how to read it.

Degree in latin lmao,this is the first world equivalent of a shit hole country having their degree in english.
 

Kosher Dill

Potato Chips
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
His mature adult business degree is one of the things that makes him a cow, he spent thousands of hours learning how to do business
He didn't though. He has a bachelor's degree in finance, and if you look that up at Fairfield University it's more like "Investment Banking 101". It's completely irrelevant to anything he ever did in his life, with the possible exception of his stint at Wells Fargo, where it might have helped him understand just how scammy the products he sold were.
 

Kumquatacus

kiwifarms.net
turns out phil said the word "tip" 18,654 times from November 2019 to November 2020 with an average of 1555 times/month.
maybe some math head can break it down to an hourly rate so we can get tips/hr

but don't worry guy's he's not a beggar just simply requesting positive contributions
tip.png
 

MoonRocker

kiwifarms.net
I guess this Khet sighting is really unknown , this is the undeniable proof that she still exists. This also explains why we never hear her, Phil does not like her disturbing him during his "work" hours, so she is probably really quiet and careful all the time to avoid being questioned by Phil the control freak.

https://twitter.com/joshkirby1911/status/1328288993587257345

Also weird is that LipJan liked this on his secondary account, then blocked the poster of this video a few hours later. LipJan's upload was DMCA'd, so maybe an attempt to keep his account?

NOTE - AUDIO GOES VERY LOUD SO YOU CAN HEAR HER. (For the first time since "They're here").

Edit - And if this is now the only version then we gotta make sure it is well archived.

Jesus, this is depressing AF. Grown man in his PJs opens his disgusting pigpen to ask his permanent roommate what that big noise was about. Apparently she dropped her brush... while the pig thought something happened in her “office” AKA the room with a tiny desk and shitty little monitor stacked in the corner.

These two have the weirdest and most dysfunctional relationship ever. I couldn’t imagine locking myself in a dusty office for upwards of 8 hours to play vidya all day while my SO does Jack-all and is not allowed into my office. She would fucking hate me for spending all my free time with a bunch of speds and autists to collect shekels into my tin cup while not allowing her to hang out on stream with me. She wouldn’t stay. This indicates that Khet seems happier the more she stays away from the pig and the more their lives are apart and individualized.

What do they talk about? Phil has nothing to say during his streams because he doesn’t leave the house and doesn’t get to experience anything. What do they do? Phil doesn’t leave the house and therefore cannot create new experiences with someone else. What is their relationship based on? The horse cheated on the pig and she decided to move in with him. That’s a wonderful start to a strong relationship. What are some of their hobbies? Going grocery shopping to the same mall every Tuesday and listening to Asian music in the evening are not hobbies; it’s living Groundhog’s day on a weekly basis.

IMO, she’s staying simply because she doesn’t get to see Phil most of the day and she has a carte blanche to do whatever the fuck she wants. As long as the pig provides a home, food, vidya, and leaves her alone, this relationship will go on forever. No wonder Phil sounds like a miserable, angry, jealous fuck all the time, his relationship is a complete fucking embarrassment. I know we have a running joke on the Farms that says that Phil married Khet to prove his big boi status to the ‘tractors, but this joke is looking more and more like reality.
 

actually

Local Moderator
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
turns out phil said the word "tip" 18,654 times from November 2019 to November 2020 with an average of 1555 times/month.
maybe some math head can break it down to an hourly rate so we can get tips/hr

but don't worry guy's he's not a beggar just simply requesting positive contributions
View attachment 1743149
365 in a year - 52 days (one day a week off) = 313 days

313 days * 8 hours (approximate on-screen time for 2 streams a day, including "pre-stream") = 2504 hours in a year of on-screen time

18654 uses of "tips" (assuming each is referring to money, which is certainly not true) / 2504 hours = an upper limit of 7-8 uses of "tips" per hour of on-screen time. Adjust as necessary by refining all the parameters down.
 

TheKatIsNowGone

$100 and I'll dress like a retard, pledge now
kiwifarms.net
Is it really though? I had some old videos playing in the background where he stated he went to university on a computer sciences degree, switched to business then switched to finance.

Each one of those is hysterical in the context of DSP. Just curious as I've always accepted his "I'm a mature adult with a business degree" line...
Sounds to me like he did what a lot of students do: Fail at college and end up getting a degree with the classes he already completed just to get out of there. Couldn't handle computer science so he went business, couldn't handle business so he switched to "finance" which was probably just a shitty degree with low requirements.
 
Jesus, this is depressing AF. Grown man in his PJs opens his disgusting pigpen to ask his permanent roommate what that big noise was about. Apparently she dropped her brush... while the pig thought something happened in her “office” AKA the room with a tiny desk and shitty little monitor stacked in the corner.

These two have the weirdest and most dysfunctional relationship ever. I couldn’t imagine locking myself in a dusty office for upwards of 8 hours to play vidya all day while my SO does Jack-all and is not allowed into my office. She would fucking hate me for spending all my free time with a bunch of speds and autists to collect shekels into my tin cup while not allowing her to hang out on stream with me. She wouldn’t stay. This indicates that Khet seems happier the more she stays away from the pig and the more their lives are apart and individualized.

What do they talk about? Phil has nothing to say during his streams because he doesn’t leave the house and doesn’t get to experience anything. What do they do? Phil doesn’t leave the house and therefore cannot create new experiences with someone else. What is their relationship based on? The horse cheated on the pig and she decided to move in with him. That’s a wonderful start to a strong relationship. What are some of their hobbies? Going grocery shopping to the same mall every Tuesday and listening to Asian music in the evening are not hobbies; it’s living Groundhog’s day on a weekly basis.

IMO, she’s staying simply because she doesn’t get to see Phil most of the day and she has a carte blanche to do whatever the fuck she wants. As long as the pig provides a home, food, vidya, and leaves her alone, this relationship will go on forever. No wonder Phil sounds like a miserable, angry, jealous fuck all the time, his relationship is a complete fucking embarrassment. I know we have a running joke on the Farms that says that Phil married Khet to prove his big boi status to the ‘tractors, but this joke is looking more and more like reality.
That clip showed, to me, that Kat rolls along with Phil's delirium and just keeps her head down. Phil unironically calls her room an "office"? That means he incorporated his big-boy speak into his everyday life. Poor Kat has to put up with his autistic jargon every time she interacts with him. She doesn't care enough to challenge the hermit on any of his ultra-specific terms. This shit doesn't involve her. Maybe every now and then throw him a bone to pretend you actually have an inkling of what goes on in that room of his.
Phil is unhappily eating his breakfast one morning. This isn't unusual, someone probably called him gay in one of his Call of Dutys.
"Kat?" he asks. She pretends not to notice. "K...Kat?" he says again.
"What?"
"The Vest Streak ended last night."
"The what now?"
"The...the Vest Streak. You know, the super fun and organic running gag that me and my viewers started on my positive streams?"
"Oh."
"Right! So, the thing is, I need to think of something to, uh, replace it! I was wondering if you could help me with that?"
"Why don't you just start it over."
"Well, see, I told my viewers that, since we gave my room a makeover, it was gonna be the start of a new beginning for my streams!"
"You mean when I cleaned your room and put in that old swivel-chair."
"Right! So...you got any ideas?"
"...Why don't you spin around on that swivel-chair a few times?"
"Uh...okay! Yeah, yeah...that uh, that works!"
They go back to silently eating their food until Phil quickly finishes before her and shambles back to his room. Kat sighs to herself. He's definitely gonna bring her up again to his fucking paste-eating viewers. Another day passes.