DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

[DZoomer]

"Tonight is a little disappointing, and the reason is, if it wasn't for Pastryarchy we would have only had $15 in tips."
Yeah? So like all of your other streams?

Also that long rant about declining support. I thought the sky wasn't falling?
"Snowkarl did a $1 tip and said what do you plan to do about the declining support THERE IS NO DECLINING SUPPORT SNOWKARL YOU FUCKING STOOPID IDIOT! STOP FREAKING OUT!"

Phil's one of the most predictable people I've ever seen. It's like clockwork, whenever he overreacts to something while denying it, it's because it's true.

"No, you idiots, I didn't say the n word!! Fucking dumb trolls!"
"No, snowkarl!! There's no decline in support! Stop trolling!"
"Uhh, Down From the Rafters!?!? Uhhhhh, I don't know what's the reference, nuhuh. Uhhh, yeah, no idea!!!"

You'd expect that a man who lies daily would be good at it. But just like his gaming skills, Phil's inability to lie just shows how inept he is at learning things even if he practices them every single day.

 

[gaarashatan]

i know this is already debunked and all that but just another glaring oddity

weird how these things are lining up around 2017/2018

i mean look at that tips one, RIGHT FROM THE GET GO FEB 2017

 

[Fill Bern El]

was on pigpiggo playing with terms and I found this one to be hilarious

that spike is 834

 

[DerichLovesNWA]

Fourth wall broken.

View attachment 2297798

The best part of this was when he was complaining that they shouldn't be reluctant to implicate Gonta, the gentle giant, as a murderer because if he isn't the murderer, then he should have nothing to hide.

Completely ignoring the irony of refusing to show his phone/WWE Champions account to disprove the rumors.
Really activates my almonds.

 

[Lolidaki]

"I figured this out in five seconds" yet when it comes to explaining how he moved the virtual body there it takes dark several tries to spell out the answer. Big brain valedictorian at work.

 

[100% VIRGIN M00TY]

I know it is typical Phil but I did laugh when he said he used to be sitting pretty because he had Twitch and Youtube payments even though he has repeatedly said Youtube was just an archive and it made him no money.

Pastryarchy wouldn't have made Phil beg like that if he tipped with different names. For an added touch he could of attached "Been a fan since 2008, a silent fan (because you disabled Youtube comments). Every other time you begged I did not tip. But this time I was moved by your silver tongued talking and had to open my wallet." to the tip.

 

[Awful Meerkat]

Phil's one of the most predictable people I've ever seen. It's like clockwork, whenever he overreacts to something while denying it, it's because it's true.

"No, you idiots, I didn't say the n word!! Fucking dumb trolls!"
"No, snowkarl!! There's no decline in support! Stop trolling!"
"Uhh, Down From the Rafters!?!? Uhhhhh, I don't know what's the reference, nuhuh. Uhhh, yeah, no idea!!!"

You'd expect that a man who lies daily would be good at it. But just like his gaming skills, Phil's inability to lie just shows how inept he is at learning things even if he practices them every single day.

My favorite is when he says something happened a long time ago AND also didn't happen.

"That snowkarl drama was weeks ago, and it didn't happen, there's no evidence of it happening"

 

[Pretty Boy Extremism]

Let's not forget he's mostly just coasting while he's banking heavily on his parents kicking the bucket sooner rather than later so he can try and cash in on whatever inheritance they left him. Let's wish the pigroach's parents a long life!

Here's the dream (imo) scenario for the inheritance saga:
"So guys *snort* this is gonna be really bad. I expected a big post-mortem behind-the-scenes interaction from my parents but they must've lost their minds or something because in the will reading they left everything to my good for nothing cousin Melissa! That stupid bitch is just gonna spend all of it on drugs! Did they lose their minds??? I bet DA TROLLZ were threatening my parents behind the scenes and made them leave everything to Melissa! And get this - this isn't even the end of it! Let me read this out for you "The funerary expenses will be paid by Phillip Paul Burnell" WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT YOU LAME BRAINED PIECES OF DONKEY SHIT? How am I gonna pay muh bills if I have to pay for your funeral too? FUCK YOU MOM AND DAD! SERIOUSLY, FUCK YOU!"

 

[NotValKilmer]

Who's to say Phil doesn't already have his parents mailing him monthly support checks cause their baby boy is in such dire financial straits? He's certainly not above conning handicaps out of their money, so why not grift his parents for extra cash as well? He was clearly not told "No" enough as a child, why deny little Philip now?

 

[RougeRed]

From tonight's stream: "I don't want the responisibility to support the stream falling to one person."

It is now officially a "responsibility" to tip.

 

[Sender]

From tonight's stream: "I don't want the responisibility to support the stream falling to one person."

It is now officially a "responsibility" to tip.

And that should make the wheelchairs happy, now they too are mature adults with responsibility. Or so I imagine they "think".

 

[Awful Meerkat]

From tonight's stream: "I don't want the responisibility to support the stream falling to one person."

It is now officially a "responsibility" to tip.

TFW the dudes who donate to him have more responsibilities than him

 

[Frogga]

Did Phil give up on hitting the members goal? He said he would do a "big push" to hit 250 members after he got paid by youtube on the 21st, but I've only seen it go up maybe 10 members this week. He's hardly mentioning the goal, and still pushing tips just as much as before, so essentially nothing's changed.

 

[SauceRyuKen]

*Gasp* Imagine having to adapt and play something your community ACTUALLY wants! Among Us featuring Pastrycuck, Snowkarl and Coomlord Derish? Yes please! Worth mentioning that you sent Divinity, a game that was grilling your bacon in a satisfactory manner, and Virtua Fighter 5 when you hit the wall straight to the shadowrealm because you didn't like them. Games that people requested and enjoyed watching far more than your stupid Danganronpa readthrough. We're a great measure of how interesting you've been, Phil, and you must have noticed how fucking no one is talking about, let's say, your Ratchet And Clank umpteenth children's game playthrough because nobody even cares enough to hatewatch. You may say that you love your life right now, but this is a problem if you're an entertainer. You're not being very entertaining. Your rotation has two piss easy baby games right now, Ratchet and Clank and Mario GHALF. Odd how we can't play Strive or Virtua Fighter but there seems to be no upper limit on how many children's games we're juggling at once. Variety Shtreemer, that mostly plays piss easy games on normal. Smooth moves there, Philip.

If people want to see weeb shit on youtube, they'll go see the actual anime girls do weeb shit. Not you. They can't even discuss waifus or Chinese cartoons with you. You can ask some of these chicks how it feels to get creampied and they will actually answer that. I'm not saying that's a good or a bad thing, but nobody can deny they are approachable as hell. Even the cleaner ones will do Big Iron on karaoke per request. This probably escapes him, but it's fun. They're fun people. I don't even watch them and I think busting out Big Iron on karaoke would be a fun thing to do with internet buddies. The market for streamers is so competitive now, you'd be hard pressed to find someone who actually wants to choose Phil. Surly, 40 years old, looks like death warmed over, doesn't want to talk to you about shit except for food, aggressively begs, incompetently fumbles his way through games with a guide and always rigurously on normal... And absolutely no fun stuff. No karaoke, no community nights, no Discord, dead chat that he still refuses to keep up with, no Kat... Just nothing. Just a boring man, playing boring games, in the most boring way possible. Even his challenge runs are boring as fuck. "Beat Sooper Mario world 1-1 without dying" big ups, dude, it's the sort of shit most gamers could achieve by age 9... Good to see you're getting there only 30 years late.

Phil, LTG plays his community. He charges for it, but he does. So does Wings. Even so far as lolcow streamers go, your offer is underwhelming. One of the things Phil says he is a lot, an "Interactive Shtreemer" is one of those things he doesn't seem to understand. An interactive streamer interacts with their audience. He basically streams and talks at them. 99% of fighting game streamers will give you a FT3 for being subbed. You're not gonna play Phil at all. You're not getting a spot in his CoD squad, you're not getting a match in Sooper Toorboe, he's not doing anything where anyone can chime in like weekly Among Us or Jackbox... And to boot, he's more fun to watch when he's bacon sweating due to slow streams. There aren't any incentives to give him money, just to not give him any. Get with the times, Phillip!

 

[The Penultimate Warrior]

Did Phil give up on hitting the members goal? He said he would do a "big push" to hit 250 members after he got paid by youtube on the 21st, but I've only seen it go up maybe 10 members this week. He's hardly mentioning the goal, and still pushing tips just as much as before, so essentially nothing's changed.

Even he's realised it's not going to happen without the option to gift memberships. I'm certain even his current number is inflated by sock accounts.

 

[PieceofShet]

From tonight's stream: "I don't want the responisibility to support the stream falling to one person."

It is now officially a "responsibility" to tip.

Do you remember when did he say that? I wanna clip it.

 

[The Penultimate Warrior]

Do you remember when did he say that? I wanna clip it.

https://youtu.be/7fwwF9hZbG4?t=7525

205:25 if the link doesn't work

 

[Poo Twister]

Phil's life is so enriched and varied that he only mentioned the heatwave five times in 24 hours.

 

[Radical Goodspeed]

There aren't any incentives to give him money, just to not give him any.

Lately I've begun to wonder if these DSP sitcom moments are proof the universe really is just a simulation, and we're being forced to share server space with some weird, but highly-rated, DSP sitcom. This is like one of those Act 3 Its Always Sunny twists, where the scam is consuming itself from within and all that's left is for property to be destroyed.

Seriously though, Phil, to his sorrow, is learning the difference between a legion of ironic fans, a small clientele of deviant patrons. At least I hope he is, because it's going to probably amount to a monthly 5-figure income dip. There aren't a lot of realizations I expect of Dave, but the ones he does I presume hit him like a Johnny Cash song.

Phil's life is so enriched and varied that he only mentioned the heatwave five times in 24 hours.View attachment 2298157

I would figure as sedentary and alcoholic as Phil is, he'd be getting night-sweats and suffer from shite sleep no matter what the weather was.

 

[NotValKilmer]

Phil's life is so enriched and varied that he only mentioned the heatwave five times in 24 hours.View attachment 2298151View attachment 2298152View attachment 2298153View attachment 2298155View attachment 2298157

People who do manual labor jobs outside probably don't bitch about the heat as much as this fat fuck house dwelling neanderthal does.