I will honestly try to break this down because their definitions are purposely confusing and convoluted to try to bullshit their way into what they want. I'm also writing this with little sleep so please excuse some spelling errors and feel free to ask questions. So strap in, and I'll spoil interesting but not really relevant parts.
On a top level, to SJWs gender is how you feel you are inside. It's about feeling masculine, feminine, neither, or both. To them, gender has nothing to do with sex. You can imagine gender to be a type of personality or "soul", and the different types of gender to be different colors that souls can have. For this analogy let's say the masculine personality type is blue and feminine personality type is pink. Troons equate feeling masculine to men and feminine to women, so therefore EVERYONE who is a man or women must have a blue or pink soul respectively, and if you happened to be a man with a pink soul or a woman with a blue soul, you are trans. This is where the "born in the wrong body" idea comes from, but as of late they have been trying to push that to wrongthink.
To SJWs, you have a pink soul, a feminine gender, if and only if you're a woman. "But wait!" you say, "Not all women have feminine personality. Doesn't this assume that all women act feminine and have tongue-in-cheek pink souls, and those women who dont are actually men?" Yes, which is why feminism directly contradicts transgender ideology. Feminism tries to break gender roles and says that women are more multifaceted than the gender stereotypes that are put on us, while transgender ideology says that anyone who acts along female gender stereotypes is a woman. Sometimes, in the case of Danny here, you don't even have to act like a woman, you can just say you are. This is allowed because of feminism's push to say that a woman (human female) shouldn't have to act like a woman (gendered stereotype) to be considered as a woman (human female). Well troons took this and flipped it on its head to say "I can say I'm a woman without putting in the work to look and act like one so thus I don't have to pass, but don't you dare call me a man". The only way to refute this statement is to call the troon a man, but as it is a faux pas to do so, troons get away with it.
This line of thinking has resulted in the recent explosion of teen girls calling themselves nonbinary or transmen: they're told a woman is dumb, ditsy, attractive, likes to be sexualized, is treated as lesser compared to her peers, etc and they don't like that (naturally, as it's rather demeaning), so they hit the eject button out of womanhood and call themselves not a woman. Problem is that everyone else who isn't in the cult (most of the world) don't see that and still treat them as women. It's an attempt to escape the patriarchy, and I don't blame them at all. Some of them also troon out because their friends did it, for attention/popularity, or plain old autism (seriously).
One of the largest fallacies of this ideology is that it assumes that everyone has a gender. If gender exists where all humans have it and it's impactful to ones personality, then it must be measurable. So far there's no way to use a machine to determine someone's gender, or in other words, what color someone's soul is. You'd think that troons would want to be a way, but they don't, because you can clearly find out who is trans and who isn't and people can no longer grift from calling themselves trans. But there never will be a way, because gender is a fancy name for a personality. So you basically just have a lot of people saying "Huh I think I'm a woman so therefore I am one" and they have no point of reference of what a woman is besides society's stereotypes of a woman and them viewing womanhood from an outsiders perspective. They have no idea what it feels like to be a woman, so how do they think and know they are one?
For functional purposes, we can say there are an infinite number of different personalities to have ever existed on Earth, so therefore there are an infinite number of ways we can arrange those personalities into unique groupings (or gender types). One can try to say "Ah there's two types, masculine and feminine" but someone will get their panties in a bunch and not feel special enough and then make their own label, like transfem asexual lesbian, and then suddenly you have shit like ADHDgender and condigender. There are literally an infinite number of genders, and that's assuming that everyone believes that they have a gender.
I mentioned that they think that gender has nothing to do with sex. This is another one if their fallacies, as they think that gender is completely independent of sex. At face value this statement seems fine, as saying that your sex predetermines your gender/personality is sexist. But when the scope is widened and it's applied to a global sphere it makes no sense because the entire construct of gender has its foundations on the sexual dimorphism of humans. The feminine gender is feminine because that's what women (human female women) were expected to preform. This is the same for the masculine gender, but there's a lot of flexibility with what masculine is. In most cases, it's literally "anything except the few things that's considered feminine in this culture".
In almost all human societies the feminine gender is demure and subservient to men because it was imposed and enforced by men as men are stronger that women and back then in less lawful times you got your way by beating the shit out of and scaring people. Also women have to deal with the vulnerable times of pregnancy, so shes more likely to listen to the ones that can easily kill her and her children for safety. Anyways, women didnt really have a lot of flexibility in the past and still don't have much now, and that's what feminism is pushing for: the freedom of all women to be able to live without restrictions enforced on them because they're a woman. I remember saying to a friend that a man trooning out is just toxic masculinity folded in on itself, because a man has some feminine traits or desires something that is feminine, can't do it as a man because his peers teases him for being a girl, so he just calls himself a girl to be able to express himself instead of challenging what it means to be a man by still doing what he wanted to do and saying he's no less of a man by doing so. By trooning out he reinforces patriarchal definitions of what men and women should be.
I will keep passing this link around because it's just too goddamn good.
