Kiwi Farms

Dave Ness Jr. is a man from Minnesota who every few hours posts videos of himself talking to his television, referring to people who aren't there, and seeing Jesus in his garage when he goes to have a cigarette. In his mind there is some connection to him, the Illuminati (sometimes referred to as the Brotherhood in his videos). He appears to have a love/hate relationship with Taylor Swift and may have possibly thought they were married at some point in time, as well as thinking she had gotten him fired from his job. Not a lot is known about him, but its clear he suffers from some sort of psychological disorder that causes him to have these delusions. Dave appears to live by himself with his two dogs and a cat, though may be in some sort of assisted living. The whereabouts of his family are unknown.

David Allan Ness Jr, Born on June 28, 1967, graduated from Stillwater, Minnesota to a poor family. There are no mentions of any sort of education afterward, though he apparently has worked as a mechanic and a garbage man. He has since been fired from both jobs and doesn't appear to currently be working. He unsuccessfully ran for mayor in 2004, 2006, and 2008. Dave claims to not be able to get health insurance, but with a lack of job and, in his words, "I lost my freedom because of the political system [...] and became a political prisoner" and mentions of being under "lockdown" he may have people watching over him. He is obsessed with music and is playing it often in videos for his viewers (or whoever he thinks is in the room with him) to hear. Obsessions with women come and go, though only two are confirmed to be a celebrity. They are: Elsa, Taylor Swift, Adele, Sara, and Miranda.

Dave has multiple profiles on LinkedIn and has this to say about his history in his own words (and what I believe is in order of them being posted, oldest to newest):

(archive)


At some point he was put in jail for 13 days and had some videos, his phone, and other things confiscated by the police. He thinks its because he was trying to run for mayor due to the cancer water. The exact reasons are unknown, though he might have been booked on stalking charges over a woman on a country radio station.

Dave is not allowed contact with police officers unless it is an emergency, then he is allowed to call 911. His troubles began when he harassed a woman of a complex over poisoning the water. He then followed up with harassing city hall officials and the police. Ending with multiple restraining orders, traffic charges, and fleeing officers.

According to the petition for a harassment restraining order filed Dec. 4, Ness “refers to himself as a ‘martyr’ in his calls … He has repeatedly stated that ‘something big is going to happen.’ Recently he made reference to taking a shot at McGuire and ‘taking out the City Council.’ He has also stated ‘This is how Waco happens.’ ”

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(source)

He was officially sentenced for the felony charge of fleeing an officer and two misdemeanors of harassment. (source)


(Booking page)
Disorderly Conduct in 2007
Arrested after yelling at a cop in 2009

"Ness has been arrested at least three other times this year and has eight open cases in Washington County District Court. The charges against him range from speeding to making harassing phone calls to fleeing police in a motor vehicle."

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It's unknown when his obsession with Taylor Swift began, but he believes she released a new album in order to get him fired from his mechanic job. He often posts videos with Swift's name in them, but a lot of them have absolutely nothing to do with her. A lot of his vitrol comes from his twitter account, in which he suggests not only are they married, but that he wants her to die.







Talking to no one and "What do you want from me."

"Jesus only comes for guys."
"Everyone wants to bang the hot blonde chick. Except for black guys."
"They got a court order to get everything I posted since 2009."

Painting "Miranda" on the banister of his apartment and talking to his neighbor (possible handler).

Being put somewhere for 13 days because of Taylor Swift caused construction to be delayed. Mention of the Brotherhood.


Gravity waves and thinking the science chick fucks like a banshee.

Asking Jesus to come see Bono, but he left because he's a busy guy. Also some dancing.
Talking to no one and other delusions. Talking about when he was placed in jail and had his work confiscated.
Talking to Miranda and also asking if Taylor Swift was up to something. Taylor Swift also babysat Jesus. Reasons why he won't kill himself and how he has to kill the Russians first.
"Jesus is going to fuck you so hard. Sorry Bono, I've said worse."
"Jesus is flying through the garage man."



LinkedIn | First | Second | Third
Twitter | Second (Newest) Twitter | Another abandoned Twitter | Another Abandoned Twitter
Vine (Abandoned)
Youtube (Current) | Youtube (Abandoned April 7 2016) | Abandoned Account
Flickr (Active) (thanks to @tardwrangler )
Instagram (NSFW a lot of porn)

His other youtube accounts may have been shut down. He has multiple accounts on every social media outlet I've found, so its likely he has more than one on each.