Day 3 of Jenny Craig....or is it? | March 16, 2021 - Gorl be trolling

[Pepper Jack]

Spoiler: Archive 360P

 

[Hamberlard Raid]

You don't have to watch this.

Spoiler: REEEEEEEECAP

• HEY GUYZ
• Welcum day 3 JINNY crayk
• Today is RAINEEN
• 24 hours strait
• NO LULLS
• Nice change of scenery (bitch, you literally stay inside and stare at the wall? The fuck you mean change of scenery?)
• The Help and I were snowed in!!
• Finallee breakeen fast with bar!!!
• SHUUUUPER proud of myself
• Obsessed with chockclit covered peanuts!!!!
• DID NOT TOUCH THEM
• Don’t mind the horde in the background
• It’s been over a week since I put away laundry!!!
• MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
• Retard bar
• LOVE IT
• LOVE IT
• 543.0 elbees
• I STAYED ON PLAN
• Lost some w8
• I bloat rillly good!!
• Me feelz good
• STRUGGLEEN
• Want to or derr food!
• Currently Sunday!!
• I CAN JUST START ON MONDAY
• Bar WAS tideen me over!
• I’d kill for a big b00l of puhstuh
• “Even if I fail more than I don’t not fail or vice versa for the next thirty days”
• Holds me like accountable!!
• Two hours later…
• I GOT A CALL
• BEST NEWS
• HONESTLY
• COULD HAVE EVER WISHED FOR
• WANTED
• FOR SO LONG
• WILL TALK TO YOU
• PROMISE
• UM
• DID NOT FINISH FILMEEN
• ON AN ABSOLUTE INSANE ROLLERCOASTER OF TEARS AND LAUGHTER
• MUH PAST WAS DUG UP
• WHIRLWIND
• EMOSHUNS
• FEELEENS
• CANNOT TALK ABOUT IT
• SIMPLY NOT READY
• KEEP IT WITH ME FOR A MINIT
• Beyond happy!!
• JINNY crayk was a JINNY BYE BYE
• Sometheen else bedder happint
• FUCK YOU
• BI!!!!!

I am running out of jokes. This just looks like actual feces compressed in a mold. Perhaps A-me can get her hands on these moolds??? @StrawberryDouche

Hamberlard review: 6/10 (a passing grade, WOOHOO!), gorl left us on a cliffhanger. Big news coming! Things were dug up from her past! TV show? Is Amber going to meet her brother(s) that were put into a closed adoption? I sure hope not, the last thing someone in their late 20s (or literally any other person) needs is a 620 pound toddler tugging at their ankle.


(Her face does not match her body LMAO, she looks like a Jersey Shore cast member here)

 

[Empress of Lucite]

What a fat fucking failure, couldn't make it past day three and she ends the video with a justification monologue alluding to some big announcement that she's "been waiting for a long time to happen".

How much do you all want to bet she got a casting call from TLC?

 

[BallBuster]

Well at least I was close this time with my guess of 4 days. Fat cunt couldn't even make it that far though. 2 days, RIP JC.

 

[Smiling with air]

Dee 3 of Jenny Kreg

 

[Pepper Jack]

 

[The Bean Bag's In A Hurry]

What a fat fucking failure, couldn't make it past day three and she ends the video with a justification monologue alluding to some big announcement that she's "been waiting for a long time to happen".

How much do you all want to bet she got a casting call from TLC?

As long as she didn't get some sort of surrogate for an actual baby. I hope the fuck not.

 

[Babygorlwhisperer]

so she did build a storyline, since February.
iam curious what she got for us?
weight loss surgery? a new house? Twinkie is back from the vet.? CCF named a dish after her? her mom got her own methlab now? or did Bexters mom came back from the dead?
the next episode will reveal all secrets, so stay tuned in here on Ambers channel of lies.

 

[ADHD]

Damn. I gave her too much credit when I assumed she could have used all that time she wasn't uploading anything to pre-film this 30 days of Jenny Craig nonsense.

I really can't with this whole "the most awesomest thing evar but I'm not ready to talk about it". If she doesn't want to talk about it she doesn't even have to bring it up. I honestly could not care less whether she gains weight or loses it, and we all know she constantly clickbaits, but this whole year so far has been the epitome of lazy and boring as fuck, which is really not a good combo if she wants to keep an audience.

 

[Owlflaps]

Don't waste your time watching. She quit, because of course she did. Imagine being such a weak-willed, pathetic slob that you failed a simple diet plan for the fourth time in a row.

Edit: For the curious, she paused the video on a stupid narc shot of her doing duck-lips, announcing why she quit Jenny Craig.

I hope it's Becky left her and she's getting back together with Density.

 

[Allergic2Eggs]

Gorls, c'mon. You can't expect her to diet AND be excited from something about her past. That's too much for the dainty darling to multitask.

 

[Turd Fergusson]

I am not sure if Amber really understands the concept of what is a diet. She is rambling about failing more than succeeding at diet. For most of us, not following it is failing. The idea of a diet is to reduce your calories on a daily basis, but for Amber, it seems to be about talking about the diet food that she eats. She is already struggling on Day 3 of 30. I have not much hope that she will follow through for much longer.

Massive clickbait on the horizon. I doubt that it is about bariatric surgery since this was filmed on a Sunday. Most clinics are closed on Sunday and unless an emergency, they would wait to call till Monday. It is not MSHPL either since she would not be able to even mention it. It is likely her brother or father will come to visit her or something equally inconsequential. We are likely to be disappointed when she reveals it.

 

[Clintonberg]

I feel bad for the local ubereats drivers that had to deal with her after that phone call.

 

[behavioral swamp thang]

Every time I watch.....
why do I keep doing this to myself?

 

[PuthyWagon2.0]

I feel as though she's referring to weightloss surgery, though as far as I recall she wasn't eligible unless she undertook a couple years' worth of therapy to deal with her binge eating.

I wonder if she's gotten a casting call? Perhaps from My 600lb Life, which may seem to Amberlynn like a guaranteed route to WLS.

 

[SituationTypeThing]

I'll bet it's something stupid and meaningless in the grand scheme of things. Like maybe she and krystle are friends again and she's coming for a visit.

 

[beautiful person]

So what I gathered from that last bit is that, for Amberlynn, even good news is a trigger/excuse for bad eating.

Imagine not even being able to cope with happiness without food.

 

[knobslobbin]

Good lord this cow's milk done run dry. I don't care to speculate about her super boring big reveal cliff hanger, so instead let's imagine the insane amount of calories she binged on after making this video:

At least an entire pizza (lol that she doesn't even like like guys, for realz!)
Donuts, ice cream, and a chocolate bar chaser.
Easter candy, because fuck waiting for easter.
Her new caretaker's snack cake

 

[YOUR MOM]

I'm voting for Methmama moving in to mooch. Amber probably celebrated with 10,000 calories since her day 1 off track snack was at least 2200 calories.

 

[Turd Fergusson]

So what I gathered from that last bit is that, for Amberlynn, even good news is a trigger/excuse for bad eating.

Imagine not even being able to cope with happiness without food.

I am pretty sure that this news will be accompanied by a substantial meal. She was already struggling on her diet without having this surge of endorphin. This news will be celebrated alright but it won't involve Jenny Craig.