Dealing with Chris IRL: Your favorite interactions -

[Kaiser Carranza]

I get all autistic when thinking thread titles.

Most jobs require you to talk to the customers. Most are okay. Some are stupid. A lot are angry. And then there's Chris. Like @Gene Parmesan said, "One of the joys of Chris is seeing the average Joe discovering him."

My heart specially goes to the poor Walmart girl who had to touch his mantits to measure his bra size.

 

[OtterParty]

I was the hooker. It was so surreal when he saw the three of us at the door and ran away screaming and crying and trailing brown stuff.

 

[Dr. Meme]

I was bob. Chris sucked and I died and he sold my clothes

 

[José Mourinho]

I was the ween that shouted I'M BATMAN.

 

[Kaiser Carranza]

I was the hooker. It was so surreal when he saw the three of us at the door and ran away screaming and crying and trailing brown stuff.

Well he was bound to be scared when you hung up on him right when he was telling you his life story.

 

[JULAY]

My heart specially goes out to the poor people who were in smelling distance on one of the many occasions when DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS happened.

After all, Chris himself has said nobody would know if not for "...a weird way you're walking or udderwise da stench."

 

[Henry Bemis]

To the PVCC staff: Do this, this, and that for me and I may consider respecting you more.

 

[NavierStoked]

Chris working at Wendy's is hard to imagine. I can imagine customers getting really frustrated.

In fact him going door to door selling Cutco knives is impossible for me to imagine.

 

[Marvin]

Chris working at Wendy's is hard to imagine. I can imagine customers getting really frustrated.

In fact him going door to door selling Cutco knives is impossible for me to imagine.

Man, who thought giving Chris a bunch of sharp things to play with was a good idea?

 

[Kaiser Carranza]

Man, who thought giving Chris a bunch of sharp things to play with was a good idea?

Well, he didn't stab anyone. At least, he specifically said that in the Miyamoto emails.

 

[qld]

Chris working at Wendy's is hard to imagine. I can imagine customers getting really frustrated.

In fact him going door to door selling Cutco knives is impossible for me to imagine.

I fell into that Cutco trap one summer when I was in college. I sat for the first day's pitch, came back the next day and bolted when they dropped it on us that we were to buy a $150 set of our own for demonstration purposes. They don't even mention knives or the name "Cutco" until your second day there. Their angle was that we wouldn't be going "door to door," but would only sell to people we were acquainted with. In one exercise, we were to list the name of every person we knew locally. Friends, teachers, family, neighbors, relatives' coworkers, but no strangers. That became our list of sales leads. But only in the sense that Vector Marketing says so, not in a way that actually syncs up with reality. If you can generate a list of 600 people that you "know" and are local, how many do you think are willing to drop $150 on knives? And of those willing, how many are able? Just because you "know" them does not make them a "sales lead." I think Chris would've had better luck had he been asked to sell to people that did not know him.
Thinking back to that, I'm beginning to understand Chris's perception of sales leads, marketing and how it devolves into some sort of crazy business model lacking ethics and respect for regulations.

 

[Anchuent Christory]

The alleged "chase" that occurred through the mall that resulted in him nearly backing over a security guard. I can't think of this incident without the Benny Hill theme playing in my mind.

 

[Sovandie]

Chris working at Wendy's is hard to imagine. I can imagine customers getting really frustrated.

Back when I was a Burger King bitch I trained this one girl who was as dumb as a box of rocks. She wasn't developmentally delayed to the point of being impaired, just fucking dense and weird as hell. I imagine my experience with her was quite similar to that of Chris' coworkers, and my heart goes out to them.

 

[Da Pickle Monsta]

The Wal-Mart asset protection manager. She didn't deserve to have Chris in her store.

 

[timtommy]

Chris working at Wendy's is hard to imagine. I can imagine customers getting really frustrated.

In fact him going door to door selling Cutco knives is impossible for me to imagine.

Chris description of his job at Wendy's (from his "resume") was

"Cleaning trays, tables and carpet/tile flooring, keeping the place neat and serving the customers with kind, understanding help."

Since he didn't mention any sort of food prep/cashier work (which are much more marketable skills) I would assume he didn't do any. Based on this and other descriptions he has given, it sounds like he was given pretty explicit menial tasks, like "clean up that spill", "go get all of the trays", or "take these boxes out back". His interactions with customers were probably limited to "mmm yeah, da bathroom is over dere" and things like that. It was an interaction with a customer that got him fired.

If I were a manager, and had some desire to hire Chris to help out an autistic guy or something, that is how I would use him. Get him to putter around cleaning up a little and staying out of people's way, and then tell my other employees they can get him to jump in as an extra pair of hands on some specific task when things got busy.

 

[SuperJ]

I would have to go with the parents of any children that played in the Pokemans card games. Here you are, going to drop your kid off at a place where your kid can meet other kids with the same interests and have fun playing a little card game, then all of the sudden "a wild Lolcow appears". Not only is there a creepy adult hanging out with your child, he is yelling at the kids on the rare instances that he wins, he is spouting off racist epithets, he is assaulting some woman in the corner of the store and he is getting in fights with the owner of the store. On top of all that an Assistant Gym Leader I would assume should be helping the kids learn to play rather than just telling them what they are doing wrong. I'm surprised no parents got any Curses for getting in Chris' face about how his behavior around little kids was so sucky.

 

[BillRiley]

I'm surprised no parents got any Curses for getting in Chris' face about how his behavior around little kids was so sucky.

I suspect the parents went to the store managers and let them handle the 200 lb manbaby 'tard-raging every time he loses a pokemon game.

 

[4Macie]

Man, who thought giving Chris a bunch of sharp things to play with was a good idea?

I know it's a joke; but for some reason I feel the need to explain something. I worked at Wendy's when I was 16-17. For some reason Wendy's was fine breaking laws about letting 16 year olds near the grill but not the mentally impaired; I never once saw the .... special... people working anywhere near the food or any of the food equipment. They were there to clean and that's it. And as far as Chris's stories about those days; that's all he did. I will attest that they would not let us sit down; not even for a minute (unless it was our break time). So, as Chris claims; if he was a shitty cleaner (aka shower cleaning video), he sat down often, and he tried to make burgers or touch food/equipment... it doesn't surprise me that he was fired. We had a guy with some severe mental retardation that worked there when I did; and he was "let go" because he kept trying to take all the garbage out at the same time; but he'd just leave the garbage in the food prep areas.

I would pay to have some sort of legit story about his Wendy's days; especially the days that lead up to his firing. I can just picture it: Chris, covered in garbage juice, his shirt and pants smelling of feces and garbage. Chris trying to get clean by dipping himself in little sinkfulls of water but managing only to make the garbage juice a little bit...juicier and the smell of feces stronger. And then; a child cries as a garbage and feces soaked Chris makes a terrible Donald Duck impersonation which leaving the impression on those around them that he is mocking the child. "Who is this stanky man? Why is he mocking the my child? Wendy's, I demand something be done!!" And then.... "Chris, we have to ask you to never come back here. You're fired" and *Ring Ring* "Yes, Ms. Chandler? This is (NAME), I work with your son. Yes. Well, I need to ask you to come down here and pick him up, he's causing a scene. No, it can't wait. I'm sorry. He's been let go."

 

[timtommy]

I know it's a joke; but for some reason I feel the need to explain something. I worked at Wendy's when I was 16-17. For some reason Wendy's was fine breaking laws about letting 16 year olds near the grill but not the mentally impaired; I never once saw the .... special... people working anywhere near the food or any of the food equipment. They were there to clean and that's it. And as far as Chris's stories about those days; that's all he did. I will attest that they would not let us sit down; not even for a minute (unless it was our break time). So, as Chris claims; if he was a shitty cleaner (aka shower cleaning video), he sat down often, and he tried to make burgers or touch food/equipment... it doesn't surprise me that he was fired. We had a guy with some severe mental retardation that worked there when I did; and he was "let go" because he kept trying to take all the garbage out at the same time; but he'd just leave the garbage in the food prep areas.

I would pay to have some sort of legit story about his Wendy's days; especially the days that lead up to his firing. I can just picture it: Chris, covered in garbage juice, his shirt and pants smelling of feces and garbage. Chris trying to get clean by dipping himself in little sinkfulls of water but managing only to make the garbage juice a little bit...juicier and the smell of feces stronger. And then; a child cries as a garbage and feces soaked Chris makes a terrible Donald Duck impersonation which leaving the impression on those around them that he is mocking the child. "Who is this stanky man? Why is he mocking the my child? Wendy's, I demand something be done!!" And then.... "Chris, we have to ask you to never come back here. You're fired" and *Ring Ring* "Yes, Ms. Chandler? This is (NAME), I work with your son. Yes. Well, I need to ask you to come down here and pick him up, he's causing a scene. No, it can't wait. I'm sorry. He's been let go."

That is an interesting perspective. I suppose Wendy's must have a policy to hire mentally handicapped people and find ways to use them productively? If that is the case it probably took quite a bit to get fired, because they were looking for ways to overcome his differences.

What I have always wondered is what was the motivation of the person who hired him? Was it "I know he is a little differently abled, but he seems to function well enough. Maybe he can hire him despite his autism, and he will fit in with the team." or "Let us hire him because he is clearly autistic, it is good PR. He probably won't be a great employee, but lets try to find things he can do." If it was the second one, he must have really sucked to get fired. If it was the first one, it might not have been so bad, the manager just misread Chris' abilities and let him go when he got a better read on him.

 

[drmccoy]

I would love to hear stories about his time at PVCC. He probably treated it exactly like High School and expected the poorly paid adjunct faculty to put up with his happy retarded horseshit. Once he realized that wasn't going to happen he probably started acting, well, like Chris. It's not hard to see why he started his one-sided "feud" with Mary Lee Walsh. I would almost speculate that the attraction sign was the last straw for Mary. I really feel for the Adjunct Faculty who had to deal with his bullshit. Having been there before, problem students like Chris really are a pain in the ass and all you can do is send it up the chain for Administration to deal with it.