Dear Kiwihouse Letters -

[Hiragana]

Dear Kiwihouse Letters,

I’ve come to a crossroad and is forced between keep a promise I made to @Cricket and cruelly reject @Dynastia sincerely asking for my friendship or accept it and betray the promise to keep myself at least 11 posts away from him that was made in good faith.

Either way I answer, I feel like I’ll end up as a sex slave tied down in a deep, dark BDSM dungeon.

Is there a way I can make this work? Can you sustain a long distance friendship over the internet, even if you have to be 11 posts, or a page, apart?

 

[RIP_SANITY]

Dear Kiwihouse Letters,

I’ve come to a crossroad and is forced between keep a promise I made to @Cricket and cruelly reject @Dynastia sincerely asking for my friendship or accept it and betray the promise to keep myself at least 11 posts away from him that was made in good faith.

Either way I answer, I feel like I’ll end up as a sex slave tied down in a deep, dark BDSM dungeon.

Is there a way I can make this work? Can you sustain a long distance friendship over the internet, even if you have to be 11 posts, or a page, apart?

Who gives a shit bout cricket, Dynastia is awesome and a good person u should be his freind always

 

[Doug_Hitzel]

Dear Kiwihouse Letters,

I’ve come to a crossroad and is forced between keep a promise I made to @Cricket and cruelly reject @Dynastia sincerely asking for my friendship or accept it and betray the promise to keep myself at least 11 posts away from him that was made in good faith.

Either way I answer, I feel like I’ll end up as a sex slave tied down in a deep, dark BDSM dungeon.

Is there a way I can make this work? Can you sustain a long distance friendship over the internet, even if you have to be 11 posts, or a page, apart?

Reminds me of this:

 

[WW 635]

Either way I answer, I feel like I’ll end up as a sex slave tied down in a deep, dark BDSM dungeon.

Although this is a common fantasy, it rarely ends well for the person locked in the cage. (RIP @grimbaud) You should consider keeping it to the kiwi fanfic thread

https://kiwifarms.net/threads/write-a-fanfiction-about-your-favorite-kiwis.30368/

 

[Tranhuviya]

DEAR TROUBLED:
MY ADVICE IS TO BUILD A GIANT SUPER-MECHANICAL ROBOT MONSTER AND USE IT TO DESTROY YOUR ENEMIES UTTERLY.

 

[Hiragana]

DEAR TROUBLED:
MY ADVICE IS TO BUILD A GIANT SUPER-MECHANICAL ROBOT MONSTER AND USE IT TO DESTROY YOUR ENEMIES UTTERLY.

Was the first thing I did. Thank you anyway.

 

[Jerry_ smith56]

Dear Kiwihouse Letters,

I’ve come to a crossroad and is forced between keep a promise I made to @Cricket and cruelly reject @Dynastia sincerely asking for my friendship or accept it and betray the promise to keep myself at least 11 posts away from him that was made in good faith.

Either way I answer, I feel like I’ll end up as a sex slave tied down in a deep, dark BDSM dungeon.

Is there a way I can make this work? Can you sustain a long distance friendship over the internet, even if you have to be 11 posts, or a page, apart?

SHUT YOUR FACE GRANDMA.

 

[DatBepisTho]

Dear kiwihouse, my wife has come back to me. How do I get ripped so she doesn't know I cried and ate Pepperidge Farms cakes the entire time she was on her "business trip"?

 

[DrJonesHat]

Dear Kiwihouse, I'm a psychologist specializing in aberrant behavior. For the past two years, I've been undercover in a community of sexual deviants. Recently, I've discovered that one of the members of this community might be holding another against his will. Now, she isn't the first emotionally disturbed Canadian maple-syrup hoarder I've encountered in this line of work, but she is the most dangerous I've seen. Should I break cover to summon help? The catch is I think her captive secretly enjoys being locked in a cage for 23 hours a day. I have enough material here to earn a post-doc, but I'm not sure what my next step should be. Please advise. -Disgusted and Amazed.

 

[WW 635]

Dear Kiwihouse, I'm a psychologist specializing in aberrant behavior. For the past two years, I've been undercover in a community of sexual deviants. Recently, I've discovered that one of the members of this community might be holding another against his will. Now, she isn't the first emotionally disturbed Canadian maple-syrup hoarder I've encountered in this line of work, but she is the most dangerous I've seen. Should I break cover to summon help? The catch is I think her captive secretly enjoys being locked in a cage for 23 hours a day. I have enough material here to earn a post-doc, but I'm not sure what my next step should be. Please advise. -Disgusted and Amazed.

My advice is to not interfere since they are clearly happy ok

 

[DrJonesHat]

My advice is to not interfere since they are clearly happy ok

Noted. Should I remove the hidden camera I mounted in the basement? It was for science.

 

[WW 635]

Noted. Should I remove the hidden camera I mounted in the basement? It was for science.

No, leave it. I noticed it weeks ago but decided to leave it because it adds to the ambiance.

 

[DrJonesHat]

No, leave it. I noticed it weeks ago but decided to leave it because it adds to the ambiance.

Psych researchers don't make a lot. Let's make a deal. I'll keep my mouth shut about the unspeakable horrors in your...lair, and you let me stream footage of the goings-on down there. I'll cut you in on the profits. I'm sure the torture porn crowd would eat it up.

 

[WW 635]

Psych researchers don't make a lot. Let's make a deal. I'll keep my mouth shut about the unspeakable horrors in your...lair, and you let me stream footage of the goings-on down there. I'll cut you in on the profits. I'm sure the torture porn crowd would eat it up.

You, good sir, have a deal

 

[DrJonesHat]

You, good sir, have a deal

Great, my people will call your people. Please spare their lives, except for Bill. Nobody likes that asshole.