Amber, it's not your weight that has held you back all your life. It's your fucked up personality that has held you back. Your personality and your bad behavior paired with your unwillingness to change are the reasons you're nearly 600 lbs. Plenty of other people who were born big/chubby or had bad childhoods don't blow up to look like the Michelin Man. Stop blaming everything and everyone else for your own short comings. You're too old for any of this shit. You're an adult, not a teenager.