Dear whoever broke into my apartment...

[Book Thief]

I'm not going to question how you did it. Nor am I going to question why you chose to lock the place back up (That's rather polite of you, actually). Nor am I going to question what type of lifestyle you live that would lead you to the circumstances that you and I have found ourselves in.

No, the only question I want to ask is why, out of all the things in my apartment, the only thing you appear to have stolen is my fucking colander?

WHY?

 

[Doc Cassidy]

Mac and cheese bro, Mac and cheese.

 

[Plastic Love]

They were tired of using used E-girl panties to strain their pasta cooked in gamer girl bathwater. Cut them some slack.

 

[uBlock Origin]

The answer is gangstalkers. They want to drive you insane by taking small things, don't give in.

 

[Thumb Butler]

Someone, most likely an insane murderous rapist, is playing mind games on you. Next time he might take something more precious.

 

[Agran]

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Im gunna make meself sum pasta mmmmmmmmmMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmm

 

[NekoRightsActivist]

Looks like Alice did it, and you know what to do.

 

[Agran]

Someone, most likely an insane murderous rapist, is playing mind games on you. Next time he might take something more precious.

insane?
INSANE???

 

[Iron Jaguar]

my fucking colander

Italian burglar, obviously.

 

[mr.moon1488]

>why you chose to lock the place back up
Are you sure you didn't just get drunk here?

 

[Thumb Butler]

insane?
INSANE???

He is hiding in the closet right now fondling the colander. Sleep tight, OP.

 

[Book Thief]

>why you chose to lock the place back up
Are you sure you didn't just get drunk here?
View attachment 2747304

I don't drink.
I live in a small apartment, so there's very little place to look.
I've already rummaged through my trash.
The last place I remember putting it was my kitchen sink after making Mac and Cheese.
I'm not absent-minded enough to misplace something as blatant as my only colander.
It's a 12-inch metallic colander that would stick out like a sore thumb in my kitchen.

So my only conclusion is that either my colander sprouted legs and walked out of my apartment, or someone broke in for the express purpose of stealing my colander.

 

[I like things]

Whoever invites you to a dinner party next is clearly the thief. Thank me later.

 

[HullDown]

Check the attic and the interspace between floors for hidden killers. This happens more often than you think. Source: I saw a korean movie once.

 

[Xenomorph]

inb4 landlord was make spegooters

 

[R00T]

Pastafarians have gotten aggressive lately. Please stay safe op.

 

[The-Patriarchy]

must be a fetish thing. Not sure how that works, but a kink is a kink.

 

[Honka Honka Burning Love]

No, the only question I want to ask is why, out of all the things in my apartment, the only thing you appear to have stolen is my fucking colander?

I had a fancy Clown Party in the secret Clown Island and needed a Proper Hat for the occasion.

 

[Crunchy Oats]

Whomever*
Edit: nevermind, whomever is used for some other way of saying it, oh well