Kiwi Farms
Synopsis
Cast & Crew
McCall & Hazel Jo Deason
Meet McCall Deason! What does a decently attractive, dumb, uneducated, lazy attention whore do for money and love? Get knocked up by a man with a job.McCall & Hazel Jo Deason
Hazel's weight gain over a seven-month period.
Shaking her ass at her job. No mask despite mask requirement on company property. Just wholesome family content. "If he a dirty bitch, just throw him in the hamper" is one of the song's lyrics. That's Hazel in the lower-left corner, watching and joining in. Oh, and she works at a children's play place! Read the room, McCall.
McCall works at a forest-themed party center for kids. She's also in charge of the Instagram account. A callout found a review on the company's Facebook. The callout community knows what days McCall works, and they say that she was working that day.
Forest Fun Place Instagram + partial archival screenshot in attachments
McCall is at the end of her second trimester and has been told not to pick up Hazel. She continues to pick up her morbidly obese child countless times a day. She fell on her ass, taking Hazel down a slide. Hazel looks terrified.
Many people have pointed out that Hazel is missing critical developmental milestones and needs help. With her high school diploma and Google Search MD, McCall knows better than medical professionals and assures critics that Hazel is "miles ahead." As of June 2021, Hazel is 27 months old and cannot walk, talk, or use utensils.
It's also suspected that she's visually impaired because she frequently misses the food she grabs. Mama says she's fine! This five-star mama is also a parenting genius that posts cosleeping pics.
BUT, she got the merch!! (merch archive)
Narcissism vibes are strong.
Cosleeping Shitshow:
The American Academy of Pediatrics strongly discourages cosleeping because of its heavy correlation with Sudden Infant Death Syndrom [SIDS]. Basically, parents sometimes roll over on their babies, and the baby dies of crush asphyxiation. Or the baby accidentally smothers themself on pillows/blankets meant for adult use. Hazel is probably too big/old to be at great risk, but McCall is due with her second baby in a few weeks. We should all be worried. (Medfag source + archive)
Callout clarifying what "ahead of the game" looks like regarding toddlers and sign language. McCall has been insistent that Hazel can sign and has been going to therapy. Sure, Jan.
Narcissism vibes are strong.
Cosleeping Shitshow:
The American Academy of Pediatrics strongly discourages cosleeping because of its heavy correlation with Sudden Infant Death Syndrom [SIDS]. Basically, parents sometimes roll over on their babies, and the baby dies of crush asphyxiation. Or the baby accidentally smothers themself on pillows/blankets meant for adult use. Hazel is probably too big/old to be at great risk, but McCall is due with her second baby in a few weeks. We should all be worried. (Medfag source + archive)
Callout clarifying what "ahead of the game" looks like regarding toddlers and sign language. McCall has been insistent that Hazel can sign and has been going to therapy. Sure, Jan.
McCall fed her two-year-old an adult-sized microwavable meal for lunch and shared it in an IG story. Hazel also seems to subsist only on juice and has likely never consumed a glass of water in her life. There are probably 2-3 servings of juice in that bottle. Most juices have 100 calories per serving. Drinking your calories is stupid. Letting your morbidly obese toddler drink their calories in sugar-heavy juice is even stupider. This meal had approximately 600 calories. An average two-year-old should eat 1,000-1,400 calories a day. Likely with Hazel's sedentary lifestyle, she needs far less. This child has multiple breakfasts, multiple lunches, multiple dinners, and constant snacks. Just imagine how many calories she's consuming.
She's happy, but no one else is. (Besides the idiotic stans.)
She's happy, but no one else is. (Besides the idiotic stans.)
Medfags have thrown around Prader Willi Syndrome as an explanation for Hazel's condition. Taylor Nicole Dean's brother has this syndrome. Symptoms include uncontrollable/unsatisfiable hunger, rapid/uncontrollable weight gain, obesity, poor coordination, speech delays, poor muscle tone, delayed milestones/intellectual disability, and crossed eyes, covering all of Hazel's symptoms. Another symptom is short stature, but she appears quite tall for her age.
Hazel is developmentally delayed mobility and cognitively. She only began crawling around her second birthday and still hasn't spoken her first word.
She'll eat anything. There's a TikTok where McCall is making breakfast, and Hazel tries to eat frozen french toast sticks straight out of the freezer. Hazel cries and screams when McCall takes the frozen food from her. People with PW often have pica. I'm sure there's a lot more Hazel is eating that McCall isn't sharing because eating dog shit and dirt isn't cute. When Hazel sees food, she's more vocal than she is all day. She screams for it. Like she's starving. People with PW feel like they're starving, no matter how much they eat.
She looks like she has it. Katie Price's son has PW, and the resemblance is uncanny.
Harvey Price today. He's institutionalized because it's impossible for his mother to care for him.
If Hazel does have PWS, the best thing that can be done for her is to get a lot of help now.
She'll eat anything. There's a TikTok where McCall is making breakfast, and Hazel tries to eat frozen french toast sticks straight out of the freezer. Hazel cries and screams when McCall takes the frozen food from her. People with PW often have pica. I'm sure there's a lot more Hazel is eating that McCall isn't sharing because eating dog shit and dirt isn't cute. When Hazel sees food, she's more vocal than she is all day. She screams for it. Like she's starving. People with PW feel like they're starving, no matter how much they eat.
She looks like she has it. Katie Price's son has PW, and the resemblance is uncanny.
Harvey Price today. He's institutionalized because it's impossible for his mother to care for him.
If Hazel does have PWS, the best thing that can be done for her is to get a lot of help now.
McCall posted a TikTok of a recent Goodwill haul, and Hazel is wearing a girl's size 10-12. That's an American size large for girls.
Relevant info: Hazel likes to lick things. A lot. Her mother says that she says words, yet Hazel has never said a word in any TikToks.
Gotta keep the meal ticket happy. McCall keeps Hazel in cheap private label Target shoes when she needed special shoes to assist with her movement development.
Gotta keep the meal ticket happy. McCall keeps Hazel in cheap private label Target shoes when she needed special shoes to assist with her movement development.
Affiliate link hell.
Socials & Related Links
- Instagram + partial archival screenshot in attachments
- Facebook + partial archival screenshot in attachments
Carly & Madison "Pineapple Baby" Lassley
This case is a bit sadder. While Hazel likely has a genetic medical condition exasperated and ignored by her mother, Madi seems to be progressing mostly normally, except that she's huge. As of June 2021, Madi is 16-months-old. She doesn't crawl. Like Hazel, she scoots. Babies should be crawling by 6-10 months.Listen to Madi's wheezing gasps.
To capitalize further on her child's unfortunate fame, momager has created merch (merch archive) and a Cameo (Camero archive!)
Health Problems
Gold Star Childrearing
Because hemming is too much effort, it's easier to encumber your child's mobility further.
*Shrill screech warning. Lower volume to keep sanity.*
The screeches are just the right decibel to make ovaries shrivel. Who finds this shit cute? It's bratty, not sassy.
Mama Pineapple swears she's not overfeeding Madi and frequently brings up her "very fatty breastmilk." (Can you hear Cartman screaming from the distance that he's not fat, he's big-boned?)
She posted a GRWM TikTok and she filmed Madi's breakfast.
Fuckton of very buttered eggs and a pancake for someone slightly over a year old.
Taking ALL the eggs to Madi.
She posted a GRWM TikTok and she filmed Madi's breakfast.
Fuckton of very buttered eggs and a pancake for someone slightly over a year old.
Taking ALL the eggs to Madi.
Mama Pineapple refutes the hauteurs:
If anyone is wonder what she means by "3 earthside," her "4th child" was a 1st-trimester miscarriage.
If anyone is wonder what she means by "3 earthside," her "4th child" was a 1st-trimester miscarriage.
Holy affiliate links, Batman. I hope the money she's getting will be enough to pay for Madi's heart bypass surgery when she's 12.
Like all high-level mommy influencers, bitch got a talent agent. Shocking.
Shitbag talent agency:
TTPM Talent + archive
Madi has two siblings. An older brother who is around seven, and an older sister who is around five. They are rarely mentioned or shown and are not overweight. When they are shown, people comment that they're only interested in the fat baby. It's clear where Mama Pineapple's priorities lie, and it's sad.
It's been suggested that Madi's five-year-old sister weighs less than Madi.
It's been suggested that Madi's five-year-old sister weighs less than Madi.
Socials & Related Links
- Instagram + partial archival screenshot in attachments
- Facebook + partial archival screenshot in attachments
Special Thanks To