Design the worst dinner party for your lolcow of choice -

JambledUpWords

Orange chicken’s #1 fan
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Things you could include:
  • Guest list
    • Other lolcows
    • Celebrities
    • Politicians
  • Food
    • Dinner
    • Dessert
    • Appetizer
    • Side dishes
  • Venue
  • Dress code
  • Drinks
  • Theme
    • Pirate
    • Beach
    • Underwater
    • Masquerade
    • Candy
    • Woodland
    • Anything you want!

Here’s an example:

Lindsay Ellis

Guest list
  • Doug Walker
  • Donald Trump
  • 5 local Trump supporters
  • A real Transformer that isn’t sexually attracted to Lindsay
  • Mike Pence
  • Mike Michaud
Venue
  • Trump Tower in NYC
Theme
  • Cis het white theme. All decor will be white, everyone has to dress in white and any mention of LGBT will be muted
Food
  • Appetizer will be street tacos prepared exclusively by white people
  • Dinner will be well-done steak with only room temperature ketchup as a dipping sauce
  • There will be a side of fries. However, they will be over salted and undercooked
  • Dessert will be cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory that was flown out from her location in California with absolutely no refrigeration. The only good cheesecake is from Trump himself.
Dress code
  • Everyone has to wear white
  • Everyone has to wear MAGA hats as well (white of course)
Drinks
  • No alcohol allowed
  • Only drink available is Mexican tap water from a sketchy location
 

PsychoNerd054

Green people are so sexy!
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Amanda Turcol (A.K.A. Manda-Tee)

Guest list
  • Chris Chan
  • Her ex-boyfriend, Larry
  • Any other exes of her's
  • Her Mother and Father
Venue
  • Some Amish dude's house
Theme
  • The party's theme would be Amish. She's not allowed to access any kind of technology, and will have to be exorcised every time she brings up Jacques, paint a barn for bringing up her autism, pick weeds every time she vapes or states her desire to do so, or churn butter every time she brings up being fat.
Food

If anything is certain here, we shouldn't give her anything that's high in fat, sugar, salts, oil, or cheese.
  • Appetizers would consist of sliced apples with a molasses spread.
  • Dinner would only serve a wide variety of veggies such as rhubarb, carrots, asparagus, etc.
  • The side dish would just be carrot sticks
  • Finally, desert will be homemade apple pie for those who finished their dinner and genuinely enjoyed it.
Dress code
  • Everyone is required to cover up their entire body with traditional amish clothes. No skin is to be exposed during the feast.
Drinks
  • Soft-drinks and soda are completely banned
  • The only drink available would be water from an old spicket.
 

NOT Sword Fighter Super

I hope the princess made lotsah spaghetti!
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Steven Assanti Dinner Party

Guest list:

  • His Brother
  • Dr Now.
  • His Dad
  • His Mom
  • His drug dealer :smug:
  • His Facebook hate group
  • Null
Venue:
  • Old Country Buffet
Food:
  • All you can eat buffet
Dress Code:
  • Shirt
  • Shoes
  • Socks
  • Dignity (:smug:)
Theme:
  • Drug intervention.
Drink:
  • All the soda he can swallow
 
P

PL 001

Guest
kiwifarms.net
Chris

Guest List:
  • Clyde Cash
  • Bluespike
  • Liquid
Venue:
  • Burger King
Theme:
  • The theme would be career day. All the guests lecture Chris about the importance of a stable income and the gratification of working for what you want. Appetizers, entrees and entertainment will only be delivered after an afternoon of hard work.
Food:
  • Lots of veggies. Chris can stuff his face with carrots, celery, green beans and kale. Dessert will be pickles.
Dress Code:
  • Late 90s "wannabee tough guy" look. Basically Chris's look in his Rollin and Trollin video
Drinks:
  • Nothing super sugary. Just plain ice water or black coffee.
 
Last edited by a moderator:

The Reaper

It's pizza time.
kiwifarms.net
I might add on to this, but its late and don't feel like going into details. Brad Watson, but there is no reference to the number 4 or 7 anywhere in the room or with the food. The newspaper sitting on the table would have no fours or sevens, and the television in the background would only play infomercials for products priced at 19.99.
 

Agoraphobic Bullshit

Probably sick of someone's shit
kiwifarms.net
Russell Greer:

Food: Exclusively soups.

Guest list: lawyers of everyone he's threatened to sue as well as his family, so the lawyers can ask where the hell they went wrong raising him. Taylor Swift and Ariana Grande will join halfway through and pretend he's invisible.

Venue: The restaurant he ran down his hooker time at, then sperged about being ripped off.

Drinks: Coffee and wine, both scare him.

Theme: A charity event to end human trafficking.
 

MAPK phosphatase

Cell Death Regulator
kiwifarms.net
ContraPoints

Guest List:
  • Nyk
  • 30 working class people from a rural Alabama town, all of whom know each-other very well and all of whom are friendly, humble, and hardworking. Factory workers, miners, farmers, police officers, plumbers, construction workers etc.
  • The 30 invited outside of Nyk are encouraged to invite/bring along friends and family. Plenty of grandparents will be there.
  • Half of the guests are college educated black conservatives, or at least black and and would be labeled by Nyk as conservative.
  • A couple people younger than Nyk who are fresh out of basic and enthusiastic about becoming a marine or joining the army.
  • Blair White.
Theme:
  • Fourth of July.
  • Everyone is encouraged to open carry.
Venue:
  • Middle of nowhere on someone's farm. No cell phone service.
Food:
  • Potluck, so it's what people bring. Homemade southern food most-likely.
  • Store-bought food is turned away at the door.
Dress Code:
  • Strictly casual. Nothing formal is permitted.
Drinks:
  • Everyone but Nyk is allowed to bring alcohol, and everyone is told that Nyk is an alcoholic, framed in a way to maximize sympathy.
  • A wide range of non-alcoholic drinks are freely available.
Anyone who knows ContraPoints better can critique this.
 

JambledUpWords

Orange chicken’s #1 fan
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
ContraPoints

Guest List:
  • Nyk
  • 30 working class people from a rural Alabama town, all of whom know each-other very well and all of whom are friendly, humble, and hardworking. Factory workers, miners, farmers, police officers, plumbers, construction workers etc.
  • The 30 invited outside of Nyk are encouraged to invite/bring along friends and family. Plenty of grandparents will be there.
  • Half of the guests are college educated black conservatives, or at least black and and would be labeled by Nyk as conservative.
  • A couple people younger than Nyk who are fresh out of basic and enthusiastic about becoming a marine or joining the army.
  • Blair White.
Theme:
  • Fourth of July.
  • Everyone is encouraged to open carry.
Venue:
  • Middle of nowhere on someone's farm. No cell phone service.
Food:
  • Potluck, so it's what people bring. Homemade southern food most-likely.
  • Store-bought food is turned away at the door.
Dress Code:
  • Strictly casual. Nothing formal is permitted.
Drinks:
  • Everyone but Nyk is allowed to bring alcohol, and everyone is told that Nyk is an alcoholic, framed in a way to maximize sympathy.
  • A wide range of non-alcoholic drinks are freely available.
Anyone who knows ContraPoints better can critique this.
We need @Nykysnottrans to come back
 
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Reactions: Nykysnottrans

The Shadow

As you sow evil, so shall you reap evil.
kiwifarms.net
Bob Chipman

Guest list

  • Zack Snyder
  • Donald Trump
  • Razorfist
  • Megan Fox
  • Mike Rowe
  • One of those Duck Dynasty guys, sure
Venue

  • Welk Resort Branson Theater, Branson MO
Theme

  • Celebrating the American blue-collar worker
Food

  • Appetizer will carrots and celery with no dressing
  • Dinner will be Cajun blackened chicken with a side of farm-fresh corn and wheat rolls baked with moon wheat.
  • Dessert will be mixed fruit cocktail, because fruit are nature's candy.
Dress code

  • Everyone has to wear clean clothes that fit properly.
  • NO Nintendo memorablia, this is an American event.
Drinks

  • Only fine American made alcohol is available from a cash bar.
  • Water and club soda are available.
 

verissimus

kiwifarms.net
@The Shadow Bob hates Mike Rowe...the same Mike Rowe behind Dirty Jobs...no comment.

Hmm, I'm not that imaginative but here goes.

Carl Benjamin

Guest List
  • Anita Sarkessian
  • Brianna Wu
  • (The labor MP he said he wouldn't rape)
  • Dame Pesos (because why not)
  • Richard Spencer
  • Nigel Farage
  • (members of the BBC)
  • (members of Antifa)
Venue
  • Applebees
Theme
  • Celebrating the failure of GG or the fall of UKIP
Food
  • Only limitation is that it must be all vegan
Drinks
  • Milkshakes
Dress code
  • No well tailored suits allowed to be worn by the host
 

CynicalGardevoir

( ◕‿◕✿) he/him lesbians are all attention whores
kiwifarms.net
Pamperchu

Guest List:
  • All the babyfurs from Rainfurrest 2015
  • Every Diapertroon that has a thread here
Venue:
  • Pamperchu's house
Theme:
  • AB/DL party
Food:
  • Baby food, and used diapers
Dress Code:
  • YOU GOTTA WEAR A DIAPER
  • baby clothes
Drinks:
  • Baby formula, breast tard cum
  • Plenty of alcohol to try to forget this hellish experience
 

Richardo Retardo

Trying my damnedest not to be a massive sperg
kiwifarms.net
Yaniv

  • Guest list
    • Yaniv
    • Chris Hansen
    • An 18 year old actress posing as a 12 year old girl
    • A TV crew
    • Vancouver PD
    • Null
  • Food: Just Desserts
  • Venue: A rented swimming pool
  • Dress code: Topless, obviously
  • Drinks: Bloody Marys
  • Theme: This week on Dateline NBC
 

The Last Stand

The smartest twins on the planet.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
LTG (Low Tier God)

Guest List
  • Everybody that beat LTG in Street Fighter
    • Viscant
    • BrolyLegs
    • Stepentoudous (can't spell)
    • Excellent Adventures
    • That 14 year old kid he raged quit on
  • His family
  • His former mods
  • An acting scout
  • Drake
Food: food commonly bought with EBT, no alcohol, no "supplements".

Theme: everybody has BBC floats, dressing as characters LTG considers "scrubs" in his favorite fighting games. Everybody points out LTG's flaws. Playing in projector is Drake during playoff games, videos he tried to flag, his many Street Fighter losses

Venue: The projects, "everything smells ghetto"

Dress code: see Theme for general idea. LTG must wear something gay.
 

Crichax

On Indefinite KF Hiatus
kiwifarms.net
Nathan Forester (aka. monstermaster13)

Guest list
Venue
  • Any New Zealand restaurant that serves kiwi fruit (since Nathan's a New Zealander, and this site is called Kiwi Farms).
Theme
  • The guests talk about how Hollywood culture is basically nothing but a lie built up by the media.
Food
  • Kiwi fruit
 

JambledUpWords

Orange chicken’s #1 fan
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Tess Holliday

Guests:
  • Meme Roth
  • @Tesshollidaysflupaknees
  • A former fan that lost weight
  • 10 non-white Trump supporters
  • A registered dietitian
  • A personal trainer that is against FA
  • 5 male models that aren’t attracted to Tess at all
Theme:
  • Health and fitness
  • No cellphones allowed
  • You are muted if you bring up anything related to social justice
  • If you powerlevel, you need to shovel cow manure for half an hour each time you do so
  • If you complain, you have to walk 300 feet each time you do so
Venue:
  • Barn that has been repurposed
Decor:
  • The inside of the barn will look like a cafeteria
  • Fancy dishes are present
  • Any dish you use, you have to wash by hand and fetch the water from the well
  • Bright fluorescent lights designed to wash you out and bring out any imperfection
  • Mirrors are everywhere
Attire:
  • The only clothes allowed have to be torn, stained and old. In other words, perfect for doing outdoor work
  • No makeup allowed
  • Hair cannot be straightened, curled or done up in any way besides a simple clip or ponytail
  • No nice shoes, tennis shoes only
  • No shapewear underneath clothes
  • All shirts cannot show cleavage, back or shoulders
  • Shorts have to be knee length
Food:
  • High fat low sugar
  • Appetizer consists of farm fresh creamy tomato soup with no crackers/sandwiches
  • Main course is steak and veggies. No extra salt or sauces allowed
  • You cannot get seconds if you have hit your daily calorie allotment
  • There is no dessert
Drinks:
  • No alcohol
  • No soda, coffee, juice or tea
  • tard cum is allowed, but you have to tard cum the cow first
  • Water is from a well
 

twattycake

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
DarkSydePhil:

Guests:

* His parents
* Leanna
* Tevin
* "Subaru Man"
* John and Howard

Venue: A high quality Italian restaurant, but with "Olive Garden" signs/decor.

Theme: "Anybody can make Italian food". The chefs would all be either Mexican or Indian, and they'd all explain to the guests (in fluent Italian or broken English, whichever is funnier) their love for Italian food and culture.

Food:
* Actual Italian food.
* Thick, sugar-free tomato sauce on everything.
* Nothing frozen or microwaved
* Small portions with long breaks between courses.

Drinks:
* Tap water
* No gin or energy drinks
* Coffee is offered, but only after dinner & small cups (no refills!)

Bathrooms would be exclusively stocked with Panda's soap.
 
Last edited:

Peetz's Bank Account

Down the drain since high school
kiwifarms.net
Trisha Paytas

  • Guest list
    • David Dobrik
    • Jason Nash and his ex wife
    • Jake and Logan Paul
    • Nikocado avocado
    • Hamberlynn ("Trish is my icon you guiiiize")
    • Any thin-ish female youtuber or instagram model that would make her insecure: Tana, Liza Koshy, take your pick
  • Food
    • Entree: potluck slop soup of hammy's choice
    • Dessert: WW low cal granola bars
    • Appetizer: Salad with no cheese, no meat, dressing is just oil and vinegar
    • Side dishes: a hooters take out container with a single smear of honey BBQ sauce on the bottom
  • Venue: steaming hot and smelly Wendy's parking lot in Mar Vista or some other shitty LA neighborhood where people only go to buy crystal meth from MS-13 members
  • Dress code: anything not from walmart is off limits and everyone has to wear knockoff timbs or leg support sneakers
  • Drinks: 5-gallon keg of room temp tap water with a flat la croix and 2 splenda packets mixed in and warm natty
  • Code of conduct: no cell phones allowed, everybody has to be nice, no swearing and no sexual comments or conversations, Trisha cannot show anyone her tits, no drugs allowed
 
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