Design the worst dinner party for your lolcow of choice -

Hambubger

It's just pretend
kiwifarms.net
Tess Holliday

Guests:
  • Meme Roth
  • @Tesshollidaysflupaknees
  • A former fan that lost weight
  • 10 non-white Trump supporters
  • A registered dietitian
  • A personal trainer that is against FA
  • 5 male models that aren’t attracted to Tess at all
Theme:
  • Health and fitness
  • No cellphones allowed
  • You are muted if you bring up anything related to social justice
  • If you powerlevel, you need to shovel cow manure for half an hour each time you do so
  • If you complain, you have to walk 300 feet each time you do so
Venue:
  • Barn that has been repurposed
Decor:
  • The inside of the barn will look like a cafeteria
  • Fancy dishes are present
  • Any dish you use, you have to wash by hand and fetch the water from the well
  • Bright fluorescent lights designed to wash you out and bring out any imperfection
  • Mirrors are everywhere
Attire:
  • The only clothes allowed have to be torn, stained and old. In other words, perfect for doing outdoor work
  • No makeup allowed
  • Hair cannot be straightened, curled or done up in any way besides a simple clip or ponytail
  • No nice shoes, tennis shoes only
  • No shapewear underneath clothes
  • All shirts cannot show cleavage, back or shoulders
  • Shorts have to be knee length
Food:
  • High fat low sugar
  • Appetizer consists of farm fresh creamy tomato soup with no crackers/sandwiches
  • Main course is steak and veggies. No extra salt or sauces allowed
  • You cannot get seconds if you have hit your daily calorie allotment
  • There is no dessert
Drinks:
  • No alcohol
  • No soda, coffee, juice or tea
  • tard cum is allowed, but you have to tard cum the cow first
  • Water is from a well
Why not continue the festivities with a roast
 
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Pitere pit

Do you like my car?
kiwifarms.net
Phillip Hanskins Delici, aka ADF.
Guests:
. His father.
. His mother.
. Donald Trump.
. Null.
. Hundreds of waspy men and women.
Theme:
. No analchest or commie sperging are allowed.
. You must discuss how being cis and straight is great. No tranny sperging and mentions of the stink ditch will bring you to being kissed in the cheek with a slap
. WASPy theme, celebrate the important things that white people made through history, like inventing the deodorant.
. Will be held on the 4th of July
Venue:
. High class restaurant.
Attire:
. No BSDM gear are allowed.
. You must dress according to your sex, dresses for women and 3 piece suits for men.
. No tattoos must be visible, it is forbidden.
. You just have to take a shower before coming, if you smell like shit you will be cornered in the bathroom and you can't leave until you are clean.
Food:
. Healthy low fat non vegan food.
. Everyone can drink alcohol and have desserts except Phil.
. Also everybody will smoke a joint outside, Phil will stay inside washing the dishes and cleaning the tables, if he won't do it right he will be subjected to go to a MAGA rally.
 

hamburgerlardraid

kiwifarms.net
Amberlynn Reid
Guests:
Trisha Paytas (for obvious reasons)
Shane Dawson (to film our gorl)
Kasey and his mother
At least 100 Trump supporters (preferably of an ethnic and or sexual minority, wearing MAGA hats, open carry)
The man that called her a beanbag in a hurry
Donald J. Trump himself

Food:
Side dishes: Optavia pasta, canned green beans with Kielbassa sausage
Main course: Amber's signature veggie tube turkey slop, with extra canned salsa and artichokes
Appetizer: six bacons for each guest and crab rangoon
Dessert: Coldstone ice cream

Venue: the dining hall of the nursing home she was fired from

Dress code: Torrid tarps, kameenos, and cat ears for every guest

Drinks: Optavia smoothies that have been greatly watered down, low pH room temperature water (so basically lemon juice), each guest may use one of Amber's unused water bottles that sat in the basement for years

Theme: Bora Bora, the AC in the building will be shut off completely and the floor will be covered in sand and dirt from outside, the walls will be strung with cheap Wommart decorations
 

Midlife Sperglord

Sperging over console gaming.
kiwifarms.net
Does taking Clawshrimpy to Chick-Fil-A count, or will he scarf down that anti-gay chicken sandwich anyway?
 

hope_maeda

firstborn diamond sword
kiwifarms.net
Onision
  • Guest list
    • LaineyBot or Kai or whatever they changed their name to
    • Keemstar (For documentative purposes)
    • About 50 divorced conservative social media parents
  • Food
    • Steak with Pepto-Bismol
    • Tomato soup with tard cum in it
    • A cake made with 。°✩love✩°。 (and asbestos)
  • Venue: Some cheap, sketchy looking rent-out place in a trashy neighborhood with a strip club right across the street
  • Drinks: Lemonade that's been left out overnight
  • Dress Code: Everyone has to wear clothing according to their birth gender
(Sorry, I'm not too original :/)
 
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Knojkamarangasan_#4

EVIL TOXIC NARCISSIST
kiwifarms.net
I think we should make one for our favorite #2 Josh fangirl Virgo rouge/Marissa morris
  • Guest list
    • Obviously her biggest crush Joshua Connor Moon and @Smutley along with Rachel flower's mom and some 30+ kf posters
    • Her sister Bethann who looks like a man with a fake nose and her ugly husband with 666 logos in his daffy duck costume
    • Dar in wheelchair dying of dementia
    • Her mom's corpse
    • The dog her mom murdered
    • A collection of the most rednecky types you can find
    • Amberlynn Reid

  • Food
    • Dinner: Only the shittiest fast food stuff you can find, preferably yoga mat subways or Amy's baking company, also only fizzy drinks and other non-water beverages allowed
    • Dessert: Deep fried mars bar
    • Appetizer: Bottles of pills everywhere, preferably hidden under beds or sofas
    • Side dishes: Poppers scattered around the place, or hummus

  • Venue: Slab city or a farm in Kentucky
  • Dress code: Slutty sex worker clothes for every single woman and jockstraps/baby thongs for all the men except dar who's fine wearing just a diaper. Perhaps we can put sunglasses on her moms rotting corpse
  • Drinks: Mexican coca cola
  • Theme: Celebrating American culture and the glory of narcissism. Speeches on the benefits of psychopathy and how great modern music is, also shitting on curtis institute of music and celebrate satanic disney worship and the 666 symbols of the flying monkeys. Maybe we can talk on how great JOSHUA CONNOR MOON is too.
  • Music: Preferably sex with smutley blasting in the background or other Marilyn Manson songs. Hava Nagila works too.
 
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