Colloid
kiwifarms.net
Follow your own advice here bud.
Designated Whiner Shitting Street - General non DSP-specific discussion and stupid questions goes here
- Thread starter fatniggo
- Start date
nahuhuhuh
Yes, on the former. No way Phil is ever going to ignore the Farms. He's as hooked on reading here as he is on playing Champions, and the more we try to drive him away from either one, the more intent he becomes on defying us. We own him, until the day he dies.
Proven by the fact that he can't stop talking about trolls and detractors, even if his chat is free of us distracting elements. He changed his chat purposely for a chill pahsitive environment but he continues attacking, blaming and mocking us.
Rent free, dood.
Who does that?
No, really, who does that, except lolcows?
He can't just be a MAN and follow his own advice and focus on his own quality khantent, instead he riles up his fanbase who want to chill, relax and have a good time against a defined invisible enemy. And we literally don't care, this is not a war. People make fun of him and he can't comprehend this simple fact, sabotaging his own streams in the process.
He's fighting the fake fight to watch everything around him die. Think, Phil! You might feel like you'll outlast every fragile, insignificant being on this planet, but in truth your world crumbles to dust and will be blown away, by your stupid emotionally driven decisions. Sooner or later everyone and everything you know will be gone, what will you have after you hit the 50s?
This will be your fault. Your stubbornness against the inevitable kills your fanbase. How many more need to get banned, Phil? It's up to you! What do you think they're doing with their lives anyway? Watching and feeding you money till the universe dies the heat-death? Listen to what I'm saying. You know in your heart I'm right.
Anime Waifu NFT collector
kiwifarms.net
"You OIC,I'll still have you. Thanks for the tip by the way and with that we just hit the tips goal! Let's get you on on the leaderboard since you are the top tipper...Derich asked what I had for dinner??? Well I had custom made tuna caserolle that Jenna cooked,it was delicious."
Phil set himself upon this path by deciding long ago that he was never going to take responsibility for anything that required work or humility, and claim the perks of anything good that came his way, whether he deserved to or not.
It's one thing to often fail to be mature, secure, selfless, responsible, honest, or productive. It's quite another to actively avoid being any of those things at literally every single opportunity, no matter what the consequences are. That's Phil. He CHOOSES to be a pigroach, entirely because of the work involved in being anything better than that. I might respect the decision more if he had any balls about it, but he doesn't. If you're going to decide to be an asshole, at least have the decency to be based.
It's one thing to often fail to be mature, secure, selfless, responsible, honest, or productive. It's quite another to actively avoid being any of those things at literally every single opportunity, no matter what the consequences are. That's Phil. He CHOOSES to be a pigroach, entirely because of the work involved in being anything better than that. I might respect the decision more if he had any balls about it, but he doesn't. If you're going to decide to be an asshole, at least have the decency to be based.
SquashDaRumors
kiwifarms.net
- Highlight
- #1,868
I took a look at my tipping activity and two things happened:
1) Harry Caray's catchphrase "Holy Cow!" came to mind
2) I fainted like Fred Mertz
That being said, I'll still support Phil in other ways. Perhaps switching to Patreon, doing the $50 tier twice a year, and then for the rest of the months tip the difference of the $50.
I know I can't maintain the current activity; that $1,400 relief check cushion did help though.
1) Harry Caray's catchphrase "Holy Cow!" came to mind
2) I fainted like Fred Mertz
That being said, I'll still support Phil in other ways. Perhaps switching to Patreon, doing the $50 tier twice a year, and then for the rest of the months tip the difference of the $50.
I know I can't maintain the current activity; that $1,400 relief check cushion did help though.
Colloid
kiwifarms.net
It's your money by the end of the day. Same for every whale really. Likewise, we're free to laugh at these same people who drop thousands on Phil, and then a few weeks later turn around and go, "Btw I'm saving for a car. Any advice? lol"
The Black Prince
kiwifarms.net
Not that I ever thought you were but this proves you arent OIC as OIC has said he made too much to get any Trump or Biden bucks.
Yes I too love owning imaginary people on the internet, that adrenaline rush must be something to behold.
SquashDaRumors
kiwifarms.net
With that I can say my objective is complete. That was the only reason for creating an account and making that initial post in the first place.
I appreciate that you believe me @The Black Prince and if there's any others (albeit probably a small number), I also appreciate those people as well for believing my statement.
Thank you @Colloid for that genuine welcoming message; you're right about the interacting with other people here, as it hasn't been easy to read most of the replies.
If you want to help Phil drag him to a 12 step meeting, there are a few that I can think of that would be a good idea
phil is bad he makes me mad! 
Off topic DSP related essay:
Who's 39 years old, fat, has a stupid beard, lives in Seattle, and is bad at streaming video games? If you guessed Oxhorn, you are correct.
I am a fan of the Fallout games and that's how I found Oxhorn. His edited Fallout content is considered some of the best. He covers every character in depth. Every location. Every terminal, note, weapon, chem, all the dialogue choices, every vault, all the different endings. There are endless hours of Fallout content covering every game from the original Fallout to Fallout 76. He has a pleasant speaking voice and is creative in his editing. He has hundreds of adoring fans. So why am I writing about Oxhorn?
Oxhorn is what Phil could be if he put in the work.
I recently was bored and looking for something to watch on Youtube. "Oh, Oxhorn recently played the Outer Worlds newest DLC. I never did watch any Outer Worlds after I saw Phil goat laugh at a waterfall. Let's watch a good streamer play the game..." Oh how wrong I was.
While watching Ox play Outer Worlds, I literally was yelling at my computer and wanted to punch my monitor. I wanted to type in the chat and yell at him, but this stream was years old. I went from thinking Oxhorn was an intelligent, talented streamer to being very disappointed with who I now see is a successful DSP.
Why?
Oxhorn played Outer Worlds on the release day. By his second stream the next day, people in chat were already saying they had beat the game. It's about 15-20 hours long, they said. Oxhorn had 15 4-hour streams of the game. 60 fucking hours. 60 fucking hours to beat a game that should take 20. How did he do it? I'll tell you.
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Chapter 1: Looting
Ox looted everything. Every chest. Every body. Every item on the ground. Ok, he didn't loot everything. If a container was marked as owned he would just open it up and not steal. Every single container. Saltuna? Never going to use it. Better pick it up. He was just mashing the take all button every time he opened a container. Then he would get over encumbered. "Why am I encumbered?" Because you have 30 boxes of cereal for some fucking reason, you retard. Every 5 minutes. "I'm encumbered again!" Then he would drop all his guns, you know the guns you can actually sell for money, and pick up more loafs of bread and bottles of booze. He used exactly zero food items in the 60 hours of gameplay. Yet he picked them all up.
Well he picked all that stuff up to sell and get money, right? No. He put it all in his chest on the ship. Ridiculous.
And he needed to get all the loot. There is pile of rocks marking the boundary of the map. "There's gotta be loot behind there. Let's spend 5 minutes trying to jump over the rocks. Let's run around the back of every building looking for secret treasure. Sure, there hasn't been a single thing behind any house in the game so far, but this time there is sure to be a legendary item waiting for me!" Quit jumping into rocks and running around the buildings for fucks sake. By the end of the game he had almost 10,000 ammo. Bro, you don't need anymore ammo. You don't need that food you won't eat. You don't need those chems you won't use. You don't need those mods.
Those mods...
"I don't want to modify my weapon because what if I find a better weapon later that I want to mod?" That's why the game gives you a ton of mods. His bank was filled with unused mods, nestled up nicely with the weapons he never used and the food he didn't need. That's just retarded.
Ox needed that loot. He would get into a battle with let's say 3 enemies. After he defeated them, he would run up and loot the first body. Then, he would see a container and loot that. Then he would run back to the first body, check it, and see it was empty. Then, he would go to the second body and loot that. He would spin around and see the container again. He would run up to the container, check it, and see that it was empty. Then, spin around looking for loot, see the first body again, check it, see it was empty, spin around, see the second body again, run and check it, see it was empty, run into the bushes, spin around, see the container, empty, first body, empty, run around, find the third body, uh-oh over encumbered, and finally drop items until he was exactly at his limit. End result, wasting 5 minutes running around like an idiot trying to get all the loot and then having to drop it all.
This is the Fallout Guy. He should know how these games work. You aren't going to find some ultra-rare weapon on a generic enemy on the road. You know when an enemy has good stuff when they are named. They're bosses. They're harder than normal enemies. But Ox has to check every single thing, pick it up, and then drop it because he is carrying 60lbs. of junk items.
Looting for the sake of looting. Ox didn't even look at what he was picking up. There were many times when he had to once again drop items when he went to his weapons inventory and exclaim, "When did I get this gun?" If you paid attention to what you were looting, maybe you wouldn't be over encumbered and you would know what weapons and armor you had.
You don't just pick everything up. You can't. It's retarded to think so. Ask yourself, "Do I really need this box of Bread Soup that I will never use?" If the answer is "no", just leave it.
I watched Oxhorn's video because I wanted to see gameplay. Running around in circles and checking every container and enemy over and over and over is not the gameplay I wanted. Watching Ox get confused why he is over encumbered every 5 minutes is not entertaining. It's frustrating. Oxhorn walks into and empty alley. You can see there is nothing in the alley. He proceeds to walk all the way down, runs into the back wall, spins around, and says, "Nope. Nothing here I guess." FOR FUCK SAKE! YOU SAW THE ALLEY WAS EMPTY!
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Chapter 2: Combat
For someone who plays video games for a living, someone who specializes in first person shooter games, Oxhorn is trash.
"This flamethrower isn't very good. Did you see that? It barely did any damage to that robot."
This is just one example. The guy who gives the mission specifically says, "Use electric weapons on robots." Why would Oxhorn use a flamethrower? Well, the flamethrower has higher DPS of course!
According to Ox, the shotgun is obviously a better weapon than a sniper rifle because it has higher DPS. He doesn't figure that a headshot with a sniper will take out an enemy in one shot, but a shot gun won't do max damage unless you are pretty much point blank range. This pea shooter is better than this revolver because it shoots faster!
Now, Outer Worlds takes place in the future where they have plasma weapons. Plasma is significantly slower than a bullet. This, in Ox's mind, would be perfect for sniping! I can't count how many times he fired at an enemy, the enemy takes one step to the side, and the plasma misses them. A plasma rifle is a good mid-range weapon, not a sniper.
Ox's favorite weapon, well one of the many he said was his favorite, was the plasma launcher. This lobs a ball of plasma in an arc. Oxhorn missed about 80% of the time. But it is the best because it has the highest DPS! Yeah. That only matters if you can actually hit something with it.
So, Oxhorn would stand 100 yards back, lobbing plasma while his companions rushed in and killed everything. "Why do they keep running in and stealing all my kills!" Because you are nowhere near the battle and the AI is programmed to actually play the game I guess. If you liked DSP's wrestling sims where you just watch the computer fight itself, you'll love Oxhorn's Outer Worlds videos.
He would get some hits, especially when the melee enemies would rush him. He would then proceed to use his plasma launcher at point blank range, splashing himself with plasma damage, setting himself on fire. Pro gamer.
Outer Worlds has a mechanic called TTD. It slows down time and is one of the core mechanics to the gunplay. Ox didn't like to use it. Outer Worlds also has companion abilities. Oxhorn went half the game before he used a single one. He played this game like once a week, I think, and he would forget how to play. You need to charge up your plasma weapon to do the most damage. He would start playing and just rapid fire plasma, doing minimum damage and get confused.
Melee? No way! Gotta stay far away from the bad guys. Still going to pick up every melee weapon he finds though. When he finds a good melee weapon, he keeps it for himself. Why give it to the companion who keeps rushing in and using melee?
When not using the plasma launcher, Ox's style could be best described as "spray and pray." I understand it can be tough to aim when enemies are coming at you fast. If only there was a way to slow down time so you could aim...
A companion is specialized in melee? Give 'em a machine gun. Higher DPS. Specialized in pistols? Give 'em a rifle. Higher DPS. By the end of the game, everyone just had a plasma carbine because DPS. You can have 4 weapons equipped. Oxhorn really only ever used what had the highest DPS.
It was just not entertaining to watch. "Ooh! Bad guys. Let me get out my plasma launcher... <BOOM> YES! GOT 'EM!" In reality he misses the shot and his companions rush in and kill everything. "I love this gun! This is the best gun in the game!"
______________________________________________________________________
Chapter 3: Comprehension of Story and Lore
I liked Oxhorn's Fallout videos. He showed a deep caring for the story and lore of the Fallout universe. He seemed to know the backstories of the characters, the locations, theories of what would happen. Consequences of the characters actions. It was immersive and made the Fallout universe come alive. We did not get this in the Outer Worlds' playthrough.
Again, Ox played this game like once a week. He would forget everything that had happened in the previous session. So what we got was Darksydephil tier storytelling. Sad.
Oxhorn kept saying how much he loved the game, but every cut scene he would pay more attention to lighting his cigar than what was happening. He didn't understand what happened to the colony ship at all. The story is that the ship's engine broke so instead of the trip taking 10 years, it would take 40 years. They only had food for 10 years. When the food ran out, the crew started eating the frozen people. Oxhorn thought that the corporations purposely didn't give them enough food because they're evil. What? The ship came from Earth. The corporations had nothing to do with it. They had enough food for the planned trip. This was an accident, not some evil plan. That's like saying, "Oh, the Enclave killed the Lone Wanderer's mother so they could get president Eden into office. I get it..."
Outer Worlds has an intricate plot and story. Well, at least I think so. I couldn't follow the story since Ox would get some exposition and then the story would come to an abrupt halt while we watch him run around looking for loot and picking up junk for 45 minutes. By the time he gets done searching every building for candy bars and fish that he will never use, I've forgotten what he is even doing. One of the themes of the plot is that everyone is running out of food and they're all going to starve. Of course they're going to starve, Oxhorn spends all day stealing all their food and putting it in his spaceship.
He seems more concerned with his cigar than listening to what is going on. "Go into the laboratory and gas all the monsters. Do not kill them." Ox runs in, plasma launcher blazing. MISSION FAILED. "How did I fail the mission? Oh, chat's telling me I have to gas the monsters. When did they say that?" Pay attention, man. "I shouldn't take all of the chemicals, the scientists here are using it to save these people... chat is saying that the scientists don't know how to save them and these people will die anyways? Where did you see that? Let me go back and search the entire area again." Every terminal you have been reading has been saying the experiments were not successful. Are you just reading the words and not comprehending what they say?
I couldn't make it past a couple parts of the first DLC. Ox loads up the game and checks his inventory. "Why am I wearing this fancy suit? I need to put on some armor." He completely forgets that he is wearing Chimera armor, the best armor in the vanilla game, and forgets the story and all the quests he had to go on to get it. Just throw it in the chest and put on a space suit. Sounds good.
It felt like, to Oxhorn, the story was secondary. The primary focus of the game was opening every box he could find and running around in circles. How do you stretch a 20 hour game to 60 hours? Don't do the quests and instead, run out into the wilderness looking for... I don't know what he was hoping to find.
It was just so frustrating. He was finally going to progress the story, I can see the waypoint. 100m to the goal. Dead ahead to the north. Ox sees a container. "Ooh, loot!" He loots the box, spins around looking for more. He sees a hill to the east and starts off that way.
"No goddamn it! Just go to the checkpoint. Oh my god... What the fuck are you doing?!"
But Oxhorn is off and running. He sees some monsters and stands far back as his companions mop up. "YES! Got 'em!" As he loots the corpses for junk, I see the checkpoint, 500m. "Let's see what's over here..."
Next thing I know he is on the other side of the map doing god knows what. This is not fun. The stalling, the incompetence, not paying attention to the story. This is strangely like a certain Pigroach. All he needs are...
___________________________________________________________________
Chapter 4: The Pay Pigs
Now unlike Phil, Oxhorn has business acumen. He knows what the piggies want and he gives it to them. And they lap it up and come back for more.
What does Ox do that Phil doesn't? Let's start at the beginning. Oxhorn has a prestream, it's usually very short. He looks at his chat and welcomes his regulars by name. "Hello, everyone! So glad to see everybody." and then he says everyone's name that he recognizes. This is really smart. It makes the viewers think that Oxhorn truly is their friend in real life. This gives them incentive to keep coming back. Imagine if Phil did this, as impossible as it is. "I see Swaggins, MoraMoria, BigDong420, KatGotBlacked, King Gokkun, Rob on Wheels, Sidella, welcome, welcome..." It would never happen. Phil would literally just need to read some names out loud. He's too lazy. Phil doesn't respect his viewers. Ox probably doesn't either, but he pretends. This is one reason Oxhorn makes way more money than Phil for doing the same "job".
They both are horrible at games. They both are boring. They both hate streaming. They are both clowns. Why is Oxhorn sitting in front of thousands of dollars in collectables, smoking hand rolled cigars, dual high definition screens for his custom built computers, drinking top shelf bourbon, with professional quality recording equipment, in his house (not a condo), with his wife and kids, while Phil sits in front of a blank wall, cheap foam glued to it, in a second hand chair, 10 year old laptop, declawed cat, begging for tips to buy him groceries, while his "wife" plays Skyrim in her bedroom?
"Jimmy Joe says, 'What did the dog say on top of the house? 'roof' Oooooh, good one! Thank you so much for the dad joke, Jimmy Joe", Ox says it like he really cares. I'm sure this hypothetical Jimmy Joe is a wheelchair, he's paying Oxhorn to tell a joke a 5 year old might find funny. The difference between Ox and Phil is that Oxhorn is actually positive. Phil is toxic. In the same scenario, Phil would say, "I just got a tip... let me check if it is real or not... okay. <ahem> Jimmy Joe tipped $5 and is saying something about a dog. I don't know what you're talking about. Is this some sort of 'meme' that the haters are spreading? I don't have a dog. Shut the fuck up. You're banned." Which way is more likely to get Jimmy Joe to tip more money?
Watching Ox's Outer Worlds Youtube videos, his chat is still there. You can see the superchats rolling in. $5, $10, $20, $50, $100. And they are consistent. They just throw money at him. The viewers can see what he spends his money on. Hell, they encourage it. "Hey, Ox! Here's some money for cigars and scotch whiskey! You're the best!" Sure, at the end of his edited videos he asks for people to pledge to patreon, subscribe on Youtube, and buy his merchandise, but during the streams, he never once asks for money or explains how to tip him. And the piggies shower him with cash. People give him money because I guess they enjoy watching Ox run around aimlessly for 60 hours. They love it.
Watching the Outer Worlds videos, I heard the same questions over and over. "'Hey, Ox. Are you going to make lore videos of Outer Worlds like you did for Fallout?' Thank you for the message MintyKitty. Well, I need to think about that. I still haven't finished the game, so I don't know how much I can cover, or if there is a compelling story to tell. If there is enough content, I might do it. I'm not decided yet. Let's see after I finish the game." and "'Hey, Ox. Do you think Outer Worlds is the next Fallout?' Thanks for the message Sara K. Well, Fallout and Outer Worlds are completely different games..."
He never says, "I already answered that! I'm not repeating myself!" Oxhorn steals wheelchair money by gaining their trust and pretending to be their friend. It seems to work much better than Phil's angle of playing the victim and begging for pity bucks. Who makes more money, the charismatic shopkeeper who is robbing you blind, or the leper in the street asking for handouts?
Phil had a hard time transitioning (ha ha tranny) from Twitch to Youtube. Oxhorn streamed on Twitch, Mixer, Youtube, Facebook, and Periscope all at the same time. He's getting shekels from all sides. "Thanks for the superchat" "Thanks for the sparks" "Thanks for the whatever the fuck Facebook uses" He's a smart grifter.
Someone asked Oxhorn why he doesn't stream on Twitch anymore. He said they had a problem with him using all the other restreaming sites. So he told Twitch "I don't need you. I'll go elsewhere." Oxhorn dumped Twitch. Phil got dumped by Twitch. Think about that one.
Merch. Phil has some wheelchair make a faux Japanese what-the-fuck-does-this-have-to-do-with-DSP shirt design. He does the absolute minimum to promote his shirts. Oxhorn, on the other hand, is constantly coming out with shit that is relevant to his streams and inside jokes. I doubt he is designing them himself, he probably pays a professional graphic designer so they don't look retarded. Phil's shirts look like garbage compared to Ox's. It takes money to make money. If Phil paid someone to design a shirt that actually looked good, maybe he could sell some.
Oxhorn is making more than $1,000 a month on Patreon with just over 200 patrons. That's about $5 a pop. He's not complaining even though he has almost 1.5 million Youtube subscribers. In the last month, his video with the lowest amount of views has 10,000+. Phil's highest viewed video was 9,000 and it was him explaining why Twitch dropped him. Drama, not even gameplay. His highest viewed game video was 5,300 and it was part 1 of Fallout:New Vegas. Part 2 dropped to just over 2000.
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Conclusion
So here's a tip Phil, you can suck at games, you can be boring as fuck, you can even tell your viewers you're going to spend their money on booze, toys, and tobacco. The trick is, you need to be nice. These wheelchairs probably get bullied enough in real life. They don't want to get bullied by their favorite streamer. Oxhorn takes retards' money all day because he's positive. He does the same "job" as Phil. He plays video games badly. He gets paid to read messages out loud. The difference is that he's successful. He's good at it. He's not lazy. He edits videos. He doesn't rage and throw a fit when something doesn't go his way. He's nice to the retards that pay for all the nice stuff he has. He's making so much money, he only has to stream a few times a week. He has time to spend with his wife and children. He's not on camera "10 hours a day" and somehow he makes more than Phil. He has friends and an actual family. In part 5 he says he is hours late because he took his kids Trick-or-Treating. Imagine doing something with your loved ones instead of playing video games. I doubt Oxhorn would skip his wife's brother's wedding to play games. He sometimes pauses the stream because real live humans call him on his phone (the horror!).
He's fat. He's 39. He lives in Seattle. He has a stupid beard. He's bad at games. He's not bankrupt. He's everything Phil could be if Phil just put in the work.
P.S. Stop playing WWE Champions
I am a fan of the Fallout games and that's how I found Oxhorn. His edited Fallout content is considered some of the best. He covers every character in depth. Every location. Every terminal, note, weapon, chem, all the dialogue choices, every vault, all the different endings. There are endless hours of Fallout content covering every game from the original Fallout to Fallout 76. He has a pleasant speaking voice and is creative in his editing. He has hundreds of adoring fans. So why am I writing about Oxhorn?
Oxhorn is what Phil could be if he put in the work.
I recently was bored and looking for something to watch on Youtube. "Oh, Oxhorn recently played the Outer Worlds newest DLC. I never did watch any Outer Worlds after I saw Phil goat laugh at a waterfall. Let's watch a good streamer play the game..." Oh how wrong I was.
While watching Ox play Outer Worlds, I literally was yelling at my computer and wanted to punch my monitor. I wanted to type in the chat and yell at him, but this stream was years old. I went from thinking Oxhorn was an intelligent, talented streamer to being very disappointed with who I now see is a successful DSP.
Why?
Oxhorn played Outer Worlds on the release day. By his second stream the next day, people in chat were already saying they had beat the game. It's about 15-20 hours long, they said. Oxhorn had 15 4-hour streams of the game. 60 fucking hours. 60 fucking hours to beat a game that should take 20. How did he do it? I'll tell you.
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Chapter 1: Looting
Ox looted everything. Every chest. Every body. Every item on the ground. Ok, he didn't loot everything. If a container was marked as owned he would just open it up and not steal. Every single container. Saltuna? Never going to use it. Better pick it up. He was just mashing the take all button every time he opened a container. Then he would get over encumbered. "Why am I encumbered?" Because you have 30 boxes of cereal for some fucking reason, you retard. Every 5 minutes. "I'm encumbered again!" Then he would drop all his guns, you know the guns you can actually sell for money, and pick up more loafs of bread and bottles of booze. He used exactly zero food items in the 60 hours of gameplay. Yet he picked them all up.
Well he picked all that stuff up to sell and get money, right? No. He put it all in his chest on the ship. Ridiculous.
And he needed to get all the loot. There is pile of rocks marking the boundary of the map. "There's gotta be loot behind there. Let's spend 5 minutes trying to jump over the rocks. Let's run around the back of every building looking for secret treasure. Sure, there hasn't been a single thing behind any house in the game so far, but this time there is sure to be a legendary item waiting for me!" Quit jumping into rocks and running around the buildings for fucks sake. By the end of the game he had almost 10,000 ammo. Bro, you don't need anymore ammo. You don't need that food you won't eat. You don't need those chems you won't use. You don't need those mods.
Those mods...
"I don't want to modify my weapon because what if I find a better weapon later that I want to mod?" That's why the game gives you a ton of mods. His bank was filled with unused mods, nestled up nicely with the weapons he never used and the food he didn't need. That's just retarded.
Ox needed that loot. He would get into a battle with let's say 3 enemies. After he defeated them, he would run up and loot the first body. Then, he would see a container and loot that. Then he would run back to the first body, check it, and see it was empty. Then, he would go to the second body and loot that. He would spin around and see the container again. He would run up to the container, check it, and see that it was empty. Then, spin around looking for loot, see the first body again, check it, see it was empty, spin around, see the second body again, run and check it, see it was empty, run into the bushes, spin around, see the container, empty, first body, empty, run around, find the third body, uh-oh over encumbered, and finally drop items until he was exactly at his limit. End result, wasting 5 minutes running around like an idiot trying to get all the loot and then having to drop it all.
This is the Fallout Guy. He should know how these games work. You aren't going to find some ultra-rare weapon on a generic enemy on the road. You know when an enemy has good stuff when they are named. They're bosses. They're harder than normal enemies. But Ox has to check every single thing, pick it up, and then drop it because he is carrying 60lbs. of junk items.
Looting for the sake of looting. Ox didn't even look at what he was picking up. There were many times when he had to once again drop items when he went to his weapons inventory and exclaim, "When did I get this gun?" If you paid attention to what you were looting, maybe you wouldn't be over encumbered and you would know what weapons and armor you had.
You don't just pick everything up. You can't. It's retarded to think so. Ask yourself, "Do I really need this box of Bread Soup that I will never use?" If the answer is "no", just leave it.
I watched Oxhorn's video because I wanted to see gameplay. Running around in circles and checking every container and enemy over and over and over is not the gameplay I wanted. Watching Ox get confused why he is over encumbered every 5 minutes is not entertaining. It's frustrating. Oxhorn walks into and empty alley. You can see there is nothing in the alley. He proceeds to walk all the way down, runs into the back wall, spins around, and says, "Nope. Nothing here I guess." FOR FUCK SAKE! YOU SAW THE ALLEY WAS EMPTY!
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Chapter 2: Combat
For someone who plays video games for a living, someone who specializes in first person shooter games, Oxhorn is trash.
"This flamethrower isn't very good. Did you see that? It barely did any damage to that robot."
This is just one example. The guy who gives the mission specifically says, "Use electric weapons on robots." Why would Oxhorn use a flamethrower? Well, the flamethrower has higher DPS of course!
According to Ox, the shotgun is obviously a better weapon than a sniper rifle because it has higher DPS. He doesn't figure that a headshot with a sniper will take out an enemy in one shot, but a shot gun won't do max damage unless you are pretty much point blank range. This pea shooter is better than this revolver because it shoots faster!
Now, Outer Worlds takes place in the future where they have plasma weapons. Plasma is significantly slower than a bullet. This, in Ox's mind, would be perfect for sniping! I can't count how many times he fired at an enemy, the enemy takes one step to the side, and the plasma misses them. A plasma rifle is a good mid-range weapon, not a sniper.
Ox's favorite weapon, well one of the many he said was his favorite, was the plasma launcher. This lobs a ball of plasma in an arc. Oxhorn missed about 80% of the time. But it is the best because it has the highest DPS! Yeah. That only matters if you can actually hit something with it.
So, Oxhorn would stand 100 yards back, lobbing plasma while his companions rushed in and killed everything. "Why do they keep running in and stealing all my kills!" Because you are nowhere near the battle and the AI is programmed to actually play the game I guess. If you liked DSP's wrestling sims where you just watch the computer fight itself, you'll love Oxhorn's Outer Worlds videos.
He would get some hits, especially when the melee enemies would rush him. He would then proceed to use his plasma launcher at point blank range, splashing himself with plasma damage, setting himself on fire. Pro gamer.
Outer Worlds has a mechanic called TTD. It slows down time and is one of the core mechanics to the gunplay. Ox didn't like to use it. Outer Worlds also has companion abilities. Oxhorn went half the game before he used a single one. He played this game like once a week, I think, and he would forget how to play. You need to charge up your plasma weapon to do the most damage. He would start playing and just rapid fire plasma, doing minimum damage and get confused.
Melee? No way! Gotta stay far away from the bad guys. Still going to pick up every melee weapon he finds though. When he finds a good melee weapon, he keeps it for himself. Why give it to the companion who keeps rushing in and using melee?
When not using the plasma launcher, Ox's style could be best described as "spray and pray." I understand it can be tough to aim when enemies are coming at you fast. If only there was a way to slow down time so you could aim...
A companion is specialized in melee? Give 'em a machine gun. Higher DPS. Specialized in pistols? Give 'em a rifle. Higher DPS. By the end of the game, everyone just had a plasma carbine because DPS. You can have 4 weapons equipped. Oxhorn really only ever used what had the highest DPS.
It was just not entertaining to watch. "Ooh! Bad guys. Let me get out my plasma launcher... <BOOM> YES! GOT 'EM!" In reality he misses the shot and his companions rush in and kill everything. "I love this gun! This is the best gun in the game!"
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Chapter 3: Comprehension of Story and Lore
I liked Oxhorn's Fallout videos. He showed a deep caring for the story and lore of the Fallout universe. He seemed to know the backstories of the characters, the locations, theories of what would happen. Consequences of the characters actions. It was immersive and made the Fallout universe come alive. We did not get this in the Outer Worlds' playthrough.
Again, Ox played this game like once a week. He would forget everything that had happened in the previous session. So what we got was Darksydephil tier storytelling. Sad.
Oxhorn kept saying how much he loved the game, but every cut scene he would pay more attention to lighting his cigar than what was happening. He didn't understand what happened to the colony ship at all. The story is that the ship's engine broke so instead of the trip taking 10 years, it would take 40 years. They only had food for 10 years. When the food ran out, the crew started eating the frozen people. Oxhorn thought that the corporations purposely didn't give them enough food because they're evil. What? The ship came from Earth. The corporations had nothing to do with it. They had enough food for the planned trip. This was an accident, not some evil plan. That's like saying, "Oh, the Enclave killed the Lone Wanderer's mother so they could get president Eden into office. I get it..."
Outer Worlds has an intricate plot and story. Well, at least I think so. I couldn't follow the story since Ox would get some exposition and then the story would come to an abrupt halt while we watch him run around looking for loot and picking up junk for 45 minutes. By the time he gets done searching every building for candy bars and fish that he will never use, I've forgotten what he is even doing. One of the themes of the plot is that everyone is running out of food and they're all going to starve. Of course they're going to starve, Oxhorn spends all day stealing all their food and putting it in his spaceship.
He seems more concerned with his cigar than listening to what is going on. "Go into the laboratory and gas all the monsters. Do not kill them." Ox runs in, plasma launcher blazing. MISSION FAILED. "How did I fail the mission? Oh, chat's telling me I have to gas the monsters. When did they say that?" Pay attention, man. "I shouldn't take all of the chemicals, the scientists here are using it to save these people... chat is saying that the scientists don't know how to save them and these people will die anyways? Where did you see that? Let me go back and search the entire area again." Every terminal you have been reading has been saying the experiments were not successful. Are you just reading the words and not comprehending what they say?
I couldn't make it past a couple parts of the first DLC. Ox loads up the game and checks his inventory. "Why am I wearing this fancy suit? I need to put on some armor." He completely forgets that he is wearing Chimera armor, the best armor in the vanilla game, and forgets the story and all the quests he had to go on to get it. Just throw it in the chest and put on a space suit. Sounds good.
It felt like, to Oxhorn, the story was secondary. The primary focus of the game was opening every box he could find and running around in circles. How do you stretch a 20 hour game to 60 hours? Don't do the quests and instead, run out into the wilderness looking for... I don't know what he was hoping to find.
It was just so frustrating. He was finally going to progress the story, I can see the waypoint. 100m to the goal. Dead ahead to the north. Ox sees a container. "Ooh, loot!" He loots the box, spins around looking for more. He sees a hill to the east and starts off that way.
"No goddamn it! Just go to the checkpoint. Oh my god... What the fuck are you doing?!"
But Oxhorn is off and running. He sees some monsters and stands far back as his companions mop up. "YES! Got 'em!" As he loots the corpses for junk, I see the checkpoint, 500m. "Let's see what's over here..."
Next thing I know he is on the other side of the map doing god knows what. This is not fun. The stalling, the incompetence, not paying attention to the story. This is strangely like a certain Pigroach. All he needs are...
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Chapter 4: The Pay Pigs
Now unlike Phil, Oxhorn has business acumen. He knows what the piggies want and he gives it to them. And they lap it up and come back for more.
What does Ox do that Phil doesn't? Let's start at the beginning. Oxhorn has a prestream, it's usually very short. He looks at his chat and welcomes his regulars by name. "Hello, everyone! So glad to see everybody." and then he says everyone's name that he recognizes. This is really smart. It makes the viewers think that Oxhorn truly is their friend in real life. This gives them incentive to keep coming back. Imagine if Phil did this, as impossible as it is. "I see Swaggins, MoraMoria, BigDong420, KatGotBlacked, King Gokkun, Rob on Wheels, Sidella, welcome, welcome..." It would never happen. Phil would literally just need to read some names out loud. He's too lazy. Phil doesn't respect his viewers. Ox probably doesn't either, but he pretends. This is one reason Oxhorn makes way more money than Phil for doing the same "job".
They both are horrible at games. They both are boring. They both hate streaming. They are both clowns. Why is Oxhorn sitting in front of thousands of dollars in collectables, smoking hand rolled cigars, dual high definition screens for his custom built computers, drinking top shelf bourbon, with professional quality recording equipment, in his house (not a condo), with his wife and kids, while Phil sits in front of a blank wall, cheap foam glued to it, in a second hand chair, 10 year old laptop, declawed cat, begging for tips to buy him groceries, while his "wife" plays Skyrim in her bedroom?
"Jimmy Joe says, 'What did the dog say on top of the house? 'roof' Oooooh, good one! Thank you so much for the dad joke, Jimmy Joe", Ox says it like he really cares. I'm sure this hypothetical Jimmy Joe is a wheelchair, he's paying Oxhorn to tell a joke a 5 year old might find funny. The difference between Ox and Phil is that Oxhorn is actually positive. Phil is toxic. In the same scenario, Phil would say, "I just got a tip... let me check if it is real or not... okay. <ahem> Jimmy Joe tipped $5 and is saying something about a dog. I don't know what you're talking about. Is this some sort of 'meme' that the haters are spreading? I don't have a dog. Shut the fuck up. You're banned." Which way is more likely to get Jimmy Joe to tip more money?
Watching Ox's Outer Worlds Youtube videos, his chat is still there. You can see the superchats rolling in. $5, $10, $20, $50, $100. And they are consistent. They just throw money at him. The viewers can see what he spends his money on. Hell, they encourage it. "Hey, Ox! Here's some money for cigars and scotch whiskey! You're the best!" Sure, at the end of his edited videos he asks for people to pledge to patreon, subscribe on Youtube, and buy his merchandise, but during the streams, he never once asks for money or explains how to tip him. And the piggies shower him with cash. People give him money because I guess they enjoy watching Ox run around aimlessly for 60 hours. They love it.
Watching the Outer Worlds videos, I heard the same questions over and over. "'Hey, Ox. Are you going to make lore videos of Outer Worlds like you did for Fallout?' Thank you for the message MintyKitty. Well, I need to think about that. I still haven't finished the game, so I don't know how much I can cover, or if there is a compelling story to tell. If there is enough content, I might do it. I'm not decided yet. Let's see after I finish the game." and "'Hey, Ox. Do you think Outer Worlds is the next Fallout?' Thanks for the message Sara K. Well, Fallout and Outer Worlds are completely different games..."
He never says, "I already answered that! I'm not repeating myself!" Oxhorn steals wheelchair money by gaining their trust and pretending to be their friend. It seems to work much better than Phil's angle of playing the victim and begging for pity bucks. Who makes more money, the charismatic shopkeeper who is robbing you blind, or the leper in the street asking for handouts?
Phil had a hard time transitioning (ha ha tranny) from Twitch to Youtube. Oxhorn streamed on Twitch, Mixer, Youtube, Facebook, and Periscope all at the same time. He's getting shekels from all sides. "Thanks for the superchat" "Thanks for the sparks" "Thanks for the whatever the fuck Facebook uses" He's a smart grifter.
Someone asked Oxhorn why he doesn't stream on Twitch anymore. He said they had a problem with him using all the other restreaming sites. So he told Twitch "I don't need you. I'll go elsewhere." Oxhorn dumped Twitch. Phil got dumped by Twitch. Think about that one.
Merch. Phil has some wheelchair make a faux Japanese what-the-fuck-does-this-have-to-do-with-DSP shirt design. He does the absolute minimum to promote his shirts. Oxhorn, on the other hand, is constantly coming out with shit that is relevant to his streams and inside jokes. I doubt he is designing them himself, he probably pays a professional graphic designer so they don't look retarded. Phil's shirts look like garbage compared to Ox's. It takes money to make money. If Phil paid someone to design a shirt that actually looked good, maybe he could sell some.
Oxhorn is making more than $1,000 a month on Patreon with just over 200 patrons. That's about $5 a pop. He's not complaining even though he has almost 1.5 million Youtube subscribers. In the last month, his video with the lowest amount of views has 10,000+. Phil's highest viewed video was 9,000 and it was him explaining why Twitch dropped him. Drama, not even gameplay. His highest viewed game video was 5,300 and it was part 1 of Fallout:New Vegas. Part 2 dropped to just over 2000.
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Conclusion
So here's a tip Phil, you can suck at games, you can be boring as fuck, you can even tell your viewers you're going to spend their money on booze, toys, and tobacco. The trick is, you need to be nice. These wheelchairs probably get bullied enough in real life. They don't want to get bullied by their favorite streamer. Oxhorn takes retards' money all day because he's positive. He does the same "job" as Phil. He plays video games badly. He gets paid to read messages out loud. The difference is that he's successful. He's good at it. He's not lazy. He edits videos. He doesn't rage and throw a fit when something doesn't go his way. He's nice to the retards that pay for all the nice stuff he has. He's making so much money, he only has to stream a few times a week. He has time to spend with his wife and children. He's not on camera "10 hours a day" and somehow he makes more than Phil. He has friends and an actual family. In part 5 he says he is hours late because he took his kids Trick-or-Treating. Imagine doing something with your loved ones instead of playing video games. I doubt Oxhorn would skip his wife's brother's wedding to play games. He sometimes pauses the stream because real live humans call him on his phone (the horror!).
He's fat. He's 39. He lives in Seattle. He has a stupid beard. He's bad at games. He's not bankrupt. He's everything Phil could be if Phil just put in the work.
P.S. Stop playing WWE Champions
What I got out of that is that Phil should hate Oxhorn with a passion because Oxhorn does a better job of being DSP than DSP does.
That's a lotta words to say that Phil could be legitimately successful (as in, not just straight up begging retards on SSI for money every day) if he put in 2% effort.
I did read it all, because it was good. And it all made perfect sense, even when Ox gets into stupid "drama" beefs with other internet people. Ox is someone I sometimes put on for background noise when doing designs/code since he presents even the most mundane fallout shit as enjoyable. Phil's an incorrigible asshole and Ox is just...kinda dumb sometimes.
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