Despicable Me 3 - THOSE FUCKING MINIONS

[Lurkman]

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3469046/​

What a great lineup for childrens movies this year! We have The Emoji Movie, Cars 3, The Boss Baby and now Despicable Me 3... Sigh

From the Wikipedia link, this movies plot is described as -

Spoiler: The plot of Despicable Me 3

"Gru faces off against Balthazar Blatt, a former child star who grows up to become obsessed with the character he played in the '80s; and gets into some sibling rivalry when he meets his long lost twin brother, Dru.[4]"

- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Despicable_Me_3

Spoiler: Lurkman turns into MovieBob for a moment

Honestly, I'm just happy the minions don't SEEM like the focus of the film. They had their own fucking movie already, Despicable Me 2 was pretty much made just for a Minion-based storyline from what I saw of it. I really liked the first Despicable Me, just some idiot trying to use children for his own agenda but ends up learning children deserve more than that while the minions were just comic relief. Wasn't a great movie but you know, it could hold its own.

I will, of course, be updating this thread with more stuff until the movie comes out. As with the Cars 3 thread as well.

-

3/15/17 update

New trailer and poster have been released.

View attachment 193181

Yes, Steve Carell is playing a set of twins, and I'm pretty sure Dru is making the Trey Parker character look less gay than was possible.

 

[Kari Kamiya]

"gets into some sibling rivalry when he meets his long lost twin brother, Dru"

Okay I'm fucking stopping you right there. I remember when there was a rumor(?) going around that in Shrek 5 (maybe it was four...) Donkey was going to have an evil twin before it supposedly got scrapped. Granted, it's not a "long lost twin", but still, these "I have a twin???" plot-twists rarely go over well. Cinco Paul and Ken Daurio pulling this out of their arses makes me think they really didn't plan this far ahead with the series because the first film was such a surprise hit. I didn't think they could get worse than Despicable Me 2, but with this...

Goddamnit, Illumination. You just really want to be on my shit list.

 

[Shokew]

They should have stopped after movie #1. FACT.

 

[MysticMisty]

That plot outline clearly says they had no idea what to fucking do, but the studio is making them go ahead to milk this franchise dry. I saw the original, once, on TV, and on a day when my boyfriend and I couldn't find anything else on but were too lazy to turn on the DVD player. It was really mediocre, would have been better off without dumb minion shenanigans, and had nothing to warrant a sequel, let alone two. Maybe in the hands of more talented writers it would have been something more akin to what Pixar would've made before John Lasseter became head of Disney (and moved his most talented Pixar writers over with him).

This though doesn't even sound like they're pretending to try. But I predict a huge hit because of those fucking minions, and because there is zero competition this year.

 

[Muttnik]

Honestly, the kiddos don't give two fucks about anything the storyline has to offer other than Minion shenanigans. So in that regard the studio can be as lazy and uncreative as they want. I'm just waiting for this film series to end already. Whatever gets it done quicker.

 

[ICametoLurk]

Nice, more Minion Cringe.

 

[Jewelsmakerguy]

"gets into some sibling rivalry when he meets his long lost twin brother, Dru"

Okay I'm fucking stopping you right there. I remember when there was a rumor(?) going around that in Shrek 5 (maybe it was four...) Donkey was going to have an evil twin before it supposedly got scrapped. Granted, it's not a "long lost twin", but still, these "I have a twin???" plot-twists rarely go over well. Cinco Paul and Ken Daurio pulling this out of their arses makes me think they really didn't plan this far ahead with the series because the first film was such a surprise hit. I didn't think they could get worse than Despicable Me 2, but with this...

Goddamnit, Illumination. You just really want to be on my shit list.

Well hey made Sing, Minions and Lorax, I think @Shokew summed it best:

They should have stopped after movie #1. FACT.

Though I'd expand that to just their entire filmography, not just Despicable Me. They have decent visuals, but their plots all suck.

 

[SteelPlatedHeart]

Trey Parker voices the villain.

That's my only interest in the movie right now.

 

[Calooby]

Two thoughts here:

1. KYLE, SUCK MAH BALLS!

2. Michael Jackson is spinning so fucking fast in his grave right now that he's drilled himself out of god damn orbit.

 

[Quijibo69]

Trey Parker voices the villain.

That's my only interest in the movie right now.

Hopefully he got paid lots of money being in this shitty movie. I liked Megamind better than all these crappy DM movies.

 

[Calooby]

Also, remember when Dreamworks tried to make their shit look good and not look like Pixar's inbred cousin?

 

[Robot Holocaust]

Prince of Egypt, El Dorado; hell, I'd even say that the first Shrek film still holds up pretty well. It seems after that Sinbad the Sailor movie flopped at the box office, Dreamworks stopped trying. The How to Train Your Dragon films are good but other than that, they pretty much crashed and burned.

Shame. They had such potential too.

As for Illumination...I thought Secret Life of Pets was good. Other than that, they're trash.

 

[Shokew]

I only remember Dreamworks fondly for the Kung Fu Panda joints, the How To Train Your Dragon joints, and Megamind, honestly. Everything else, no thanks - if you like them, that's all right. Just leave me out of it.

No thanks is all I have to say about Illumination - the fact that I got that jingle for a McDonald's happy meal commercial from Sing really enrages me to no end. And their movies being crap / forgettable (like this one will more than likely be!) don't help endear me to them, either.

 

[Kari Kamiya]

I recently found out that Illumination Entertainment was founded by the current-CEO Chris Meledandri, who was a producer at Blue Sky. This pretty much explains everything, except Blue Sky at least has some competency. Although this could explain why Illumination worked on the Lorax and has the rights to Dr. Seuss' works and not Blue Sky (yes, Illumination is working on How the Grinch Stole Christmas).

This is who poured money into Minions.

 

[Lurkman]

I recently found out that Illumination Entertainment was founded by the current-CEO Chris Meledandri, who was a producer at Blue Sky. This pretty much explains everything, except Blue Sky at least has some competency. Although this could explain why Illumination worked on the Lorax and has the rights to Dr. Seuss' works and not Blue Sky (yes, Illumination is working on How the Grinch Stole Christmas).

This is who poured money into Minions.

Chris Meledandri lolcow thread when?

 

[MysticMisty]

Honestly, the kiddos don't give two fucks about anything the storyline has to offer other than Minion shenanigans. So in that regard the studio can be as lazy and uncreative as they want. I'm just waiting for this film series to end already. Whatever gets it done quicker.

Kids don't care, but parents have to suffer through it. And just because it's for kids doesn't mean it has to be a braindead mess. Or maybe I was just some weird kid for not automatically liking anything slapped in front of me.

 

[Broseph Stalin]

So nobody else noticed that Gru attempted actual murder in that trailer? Like if his gun wasn't replaced with a water gun, he would have just blown that guys brains out with a Glock?

 

[Calooby]

So the film company's name is Illumination? Is that a codeword for autistic illuminati?

In the autistic illuminati, do they wear Minion hats and do their initiation rituals involve orgies dressed up like Minions?

:horrifying:

 

[Lurkman]

So nobody else noticed that Gru attempted actual murder in that trailer? Like if his gun wasn't replaced with a water gun, he would have just blown that guys brains out with a Glock?

He also slams someones car into a building, resulting in thousands, maybe millions of dollars in property damage, not to mention the structure of that building is probably out of wack, the car's engine was probably destroyed in the crash and the guy inside, with no hood to protect him, was killed immediately.

 

[Kari Kamiya]

So nobody else noticed that Gru attempted actual murder in that trailer? Like if his gun wasn't replaced with a water gun, he would have just blown that guys brains out with a Glock?

He also slams someones car into a building, resulting in thousands, maybe millions of dollars in property damage, not to mention the structure of that building is probably out of wack, the car's engine was probably destroyed in the crash and the guy inside, with no hood to protect him, was killed immediately.

He also froze people (potentially to death) with a freeze ray to cut in line for coffee and destroyed someone's business which put people in danger (children included) to win his adopted daughter a stuffed unicorn.

But it's perfectly acceptable because he's a villain. He's supposed to be villainous.