Disappointing songs - When so close is worse than too far.

[Penis Drager]

Ever heard a song that was so close to touching those heart strings but went and fucked it all up by going a totally different (and worse) direction? Well this is the thread for you!
ITT: we discuss songs that were just almost there.

My contribution:

It starts out sounding like a song about a preacher becoming cynical of his beliefs and leaving the church, which maybe it kinda is, but the chorus is absolute shit and takes the whole song in a gay ass direction that ruins what could have been a great song. The rest of the song is good, but the chorus should have been scrapped for something better.

 

[Mix Me a Molotov!]

Voila by N.E.R.D.

Starts as a decent upbeat slice of melodic rap - but for some inexplicable reason, the fuckers break out the steel drums at 3:11 and the song ends with some horrific cod-reggae bollocks that wouldn’t be out of place in a back alley at the Notting Hill Carnival.

 

[Jeff Boomhauer]

This is a really stupid answer, but it's related to my avatar...

So, after years of only knowing him from his cameos on King of the Hill, I sat down and listened to Chuck Manigione's "Feels So Good" in full on Youtube.

After a while of listening, I thought, "Huh, this is decent. Relaxing enough. It must be almost done." I looked at the bar and found out I had 4 minutes of the song left, and it sounded exactly the same as most of the song before it.

This applies to any song that's 5+ minutes long that has no real climax.

 

[Monolith]

 

[biggest big boy]

not really no

 

[KillThemCrackasBabies]

While I don't think anyone expected high craftsmanship from the 60 year old members of The Offspring, their newest song in like a decade is still somehow disappointing. It sounds like a Morning Zoo show interlude, there's no substance to it.

 

[KateHikes14]

Great band, great song, shit cover. It's too quick and the singer seems to not give the song the range it needs because of the uptempo.

 

[Takodachi]

The Machine and the Crow from YIIK has such a good start that sadly, just like the game itself, ends up being a disappointment.

 

[Ron Jeremy Stan Account]

This is a really stupid answer, but it's related to my avatar...

So, after years of only knowing him from his cameos on King of the Hill, I sat down and listened to Chuck Manigione's "Feels So Good" in full on Youtube.

After a while of listening, I thought, "Huh, this is decent. Relaxing enough. It must be almost done." I looked at the bar and found out I had 4 minutes of the song left, and it sounded exactly the same as most of the song before it.

This applies to any song that's 5+ minutes long that has no real climax.

Honestly, I think that may be the gag in KOTH, that Chuck Mangionie is a bland, mediocre washed–up musician, and that Chuck is in on the joke IRL. Like, they couldn't get away with using the same recurring jokes with similar adult contemporary musicians like Billy Joel, Barry Manilow, or Elton John, so instead they settled for some more obscure guy like Chuck. Also, I never even heard of him until watching KOTH, whereas the other aforementioned singers I've known about since I was a kid, since my Boomer parents were huge fans and saw them in concert.

 

[Stoneheart]

the Teaser sounded so much better...

 

[EmpireOfTheClouds]

Apologies if I'm late, but.

Jesus christ. Jesus fucking Christ. Muse making a 10 minute song should be the highlight of the fucking album. It should be their best fucking song ever.

Instead we get 3 barely related tracks that do not flow together well at all thrown into one track because prog rock. The heavy section begins and you're like HERE WE FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOO. Then it ends literally 1 minute and 50 seconds later and we get a boring "We have United States of Eurasia at Home" outro that lasts four minutes and never gets exciting.

Oh and Matt, please never sing the word "babe" ever again, unless you're gonna go full Robert Plant.

 

[Mal0]

Literally the only way I listen to this song is via a version on YT that removed the sheboon's screeching.

 

[EmpireOfTheClouds]

While I don't think anyone expected high craftsmanship from the 60 year old members of The Offspring, their newest song in like a decade is still somehow disappointing. It sounds like a Morning Zoo show interlude, there's no substance to it.

Punk bands in their 50s and 60s need to just stop.

Bad Religion's "The Kids are Alt Right" almost feels like a parody.

 

[Idiot Asshole]

Punk bands in their 50s and 60s need to just stop.

They really do. Punk rock has been pretty much dead and gay for a decade at least, but the Trump era really made the whole scene look like a mini lolcow farm (although you could argue it was always that way). That's what happens when you try to be the young rebellious types for four decades though, I guess.

Anyway sticking to Bad Religion. There's one song off of one of their nobody-cares mid-90s albums that I used to play over again back in the day called Cease. It's great and emotional, sombre but not in a dirgelike way, moreso melancholic within the usual upbeat pop-punk frame of most Bad Religion songs. It's also the final track of the album, so it's obviously constructed to be a riveting send off for the listener. But one thing that's always bugged me with it is its ending; they deliberately cut the final chorus short to leave the listener with a lack of closure. I get why they did it, but it's frustrating all the same. It's such a good song I wish they just let it finish on that expected final note.

 

[Mnutu]

The ultimate blue ball

 

[Solid Snek]

Ever heard a song that was so close to touching those heart strings but went and fucked it all up by going a totally different (and worse) direction? Well this is the thread for you!

Yeah, I call that "the Eurovision Effect". At the risk of sounding like a Eurocuck, there used to be a lot of halfway decent bands on Eurovision - but, y'know, emphasis on halfway. In order to even qualify for Eurovision, a song has to compromise its style and integrity in such a way that Europeans will vote on it. There's predictable formulas that get tweaked each year, ever-so-slightly, and the more a song tries to deviate from that year's formula, the less chance it has of actually appearing in the contest.

There've been some genuinely fun bands on Eurovision, but with very few exceptions, even the good songs feel like they're juuussssst short of where I hoped they would be.

For instance:

Probably the best Eurovision band, but as a Scandinavian metal nerd and longtime GWAR aficionado, it just... it leaves me wanting a little more. Every time I hear Lordi, it's like I was expecting SYL but got KISS instead.

Or this one:

On paper, four Finnish dudes with Downs Syndrome playing punk rock should be the greatest thing in Eurovision history, but this particular song wasn't their best, and the reception from the Eurocrowd was mostly just condescending virtue signalling and lukewarm politeness. Dunno what else I would have expected, so fuck it.

I unironically enjoyed Sunstroke Project's 2010 entry, "Epic Sax Guy Meme Song", but then they came back in 2017 and shat this demimonstrosity out. Swore off Eurovision after this song, so I did.

Thinking this over a bit more, I don't really know how I'd fix Dustin the Turkey. I always felt like they could have done MORE - like, it's already a joke song, right? A giant "fuck you" to Ireland and Europe as a whole. Why not have more drag queens? Dial the Eurotrash up to 11? Maybe I'm just being picky, but I can't shake the feeling that Dustin the Turkey compromised the integrity of his vision.

TOO. FUCKING. SHORT.



Anyways, you get the idea. Eurovision is full of this shit. Creating musical disappointment is basically the sole reason the contest exists.

(that, and pushing schoolyard politics)

 

[Ozma (ZeTrannyJanny)]

Ever heard a song that was so close to touching those heart strings but went and fucked it all up by going a totally different (and worse) direction? Well this is the thread for you!
ITT: we discuss songs that were just almost there.

My contribution:

It starts out sounding like a song about a preacher becoming cynical of his beliefs and leaving the church, which maybe it kinda is, but the chorus is absolute shit and takes the whole song in a gay ass direction that ruins what could have been a great song. The rest of the song is good, but the chorus should have been scrapped for something better.

the acoustic version is 1000 times better