Discovering lolcows -

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SomethingWittyandBadass

Daddy's too busy fucking a whore to care Timmy.
kiwifarms.net
Eh. I try to think about it when I'm at work and it's at a long haul of stupid shit that I gotta do and earn that paycheck. But here's how I think it usually happens:

1. Lolcow joins particular group. It goes into a great welcoming ceremony and if the person isn't chris chan level of autistic then they will last about 1-2 months in the particular group. The group could might as well be whatever, it could be The_Donald Subreddit to TwoXChromosomes subreddit but it has to be an online presence or else how it would be recorded.

2. Lolcow hears about drama. Drama could also range to whatever, unfair leadership and many more "unfair" things in the community. If Lolcow is smart or at least "samrt" they basically will keep whatever is going on in mind and try to act as if they are this aloof fucking person of the group now in half of a month.

3. Sooner or later, the lolcow goes into remission of their own flaws that causes them to be exile sooner or later. (Example: TripleWipe45's shit in SomethingAwful youtube lets players den. TW45 starts to attention whore at all times despite moving on from other groups with this exact same problem. Another example: Chris-Chan with his constant Doopie Twitter Stalking. It's an obessession that he just doesn't quit on doing and he "ruins" his bridge with Jessica Quinn.) And they basically get kicked out of the group after so many people get sick and tired of the lolcow's bullshit. And rinse and repeat until someone finally connects the dots and shows the world that this person is a piece of shit and "calls them out".
 

Cake Farts

Settling down 🍵
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Accident. For the personal cows I have, I'd be going through stuff on the web when I see a user act completely stupid or take a trivial issue and make it into a big deal. So I think "What the fuck is wrong with this guy?" and check out their profile and voila~
 

InLivingTuna

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
in my view there are three ways lolcows end up getting noticed, at least by us
  1. Farming. The classic way of going about finding a lolcow. Someone goes looking for cringe art or lolcows by perusing known lolcow communities (i.e. furries) and if they find someone unusual enough they get their own thread. Sometimes the farm turns on the cow and ousts them for slaughter, because some people manage to shit up their own communities enough to be notorious in their own right. Examples would be Christian Weston Chandler, Andrew Dobson, PurpleKecleon, Sophie LaBelle, Marjan Siklic, Nora Reed, and Strikerwolf.
  2. Poaching. Basically the same as farming except we didn't get there first. These cows can be swiped from another lolcow community or just a topic of constant ridicule on places like chan boards. Examples include Jace Connors, Kentray, Barneyfag, Taxman, Greg Mazujian and FemaleGoodra who were discussion topics on 4chan, Cecily Kellogg and Alice Wright from GOMI, all of the Beauty Parlour from places like PULL/YouTalkTrash/lolcow.farm, or Lucas Werner and the countless other gifts from @Wrought at the Shameshack.
  3. Hunting. Someone fucked up big time and now has all eyes on them, maybe because they made it on the news for something stupid they did (all of the gamergate cows, Alex Mauer, DaddyOFive, Elliot Rodger and the other shooter cows, Foxler), maybe because they had a video of them acting like a spastic go viral (Trigglypuff, Emily Nauert, Anna Storelli, Zarna Joshi), or maybe the cow came to you (all of the halals along with people like Jamie Leigh Fischer and Husky Jack). The most common type of cow here is somebody who was already well known but did some level of stupid shit that led to their downfall, it could be someone being exposed as an asshole or degenerate (Yanderedev, Linkara, Keemstar, GradeAUnderA), it could be someone who has a consistent pattern of embarrassing themselves when they're supposed to be doing the thing they're famous for (DarkSydePhil, Spoony, The Amazing Athiest), or it could be someone who's destroying their career with one thing that they stubbornly refuse to let die (Angry Joe bitching out his fans, Boogie not losing the weight, YourMovieSucks defending zoophilia, etc.). This is slowly becoming the most common type of cow on Kiwi Farms since it always has a built in audience of spurned fans or a mob of detractors.
 

CatParty

Boo
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
in my view there are three ways lolcows end up getting noticed, at least by us
  1. Farming. The classic way of going about finding a lolcow. Someone goes looking for cringe art or lolcows by perusing known lolcow communities (i.e. furries) and if they find someone unusual enough they get their own thread. Sometimes the farm turns on the cow and ousts them for slaughter, because some people manage to shit up their own communities enough to be notorious in their own right. Examples would be Christian Weston Chandler, Andrew Dobson, PurpleKecleon, Sophie LaBelle, Marjan Siklic, Nora Reed, and Strikerwolf.
  2. Poaching. Basically the same as farming except we didn't get there first. These cows can be swiped from another lolcow community or just a topic of constant ridicule on places like chan boards. Examples include Jace Connors, Kentray, Barneyfag, Taxman, Greg Mazujian and FemaleGoodra who were discussion topics on 4chan, Cecily Kellogg and Alice Wright from GOMI, all of the Beauty Parlour from places like PULL/YouTalkTrash/lolcow.farm, or Lucas Werner and the countless other gifts from @Wrought at the Shameshack.
  3. Hunting. Someone fucked up big time and now has all eyes on them, maybe because they made it on the news for something stupid they did (all of the gamergate cows, Alex Mauer, DaddyOFive, Elliot Rodger and the other shooter cows, Foxler), maybe because they had a video of them acting like a spastic go viral (Trigglypuff, Emily Nauert, Anna Storelli, Zarna Joshi), or maybe the cow came to you (all of the halals along with people like Jamie Leigh Fischer and Husky Jack). The most common type of cow here is somebody who was already well known but did some level of stupid shit that led to their downfall, it could be someone being exposed as an asshole or degenerate (Yanderedev, Linkara, Keemstar, GradeAUnderA), it could be someone who has a consistent pattern of embarrassing themselves when they're supposed to be doing the thing they're famous for (DarkSydePhil, Spoony, The Amazing Athiest), or it could be someone who's destroying their career with one thing that they stubbornly refuse to let die (Angry Joe bitching out his fans, Boogie not losing the weight, YourMovieSucks defending zoophilia, etc.). This is slowly becoming the most common type of cow on Kiwi Farms since it always has a built in audience of spurned fans or a mob of detractors.


i'll add just going to like any social media and looking for public posts on current events or a specific fandom. also going to youtube and setting the search based on upload date with it set to show results by view count and then going to the least viewed videos. there's gold in the lower viewed videos....
 

ChuckSlaughter

You mean I got about 200 bitcoins
kiwifarms.net
How are lolcows discovered? I know something they do catches attention but I want to know how they're actually discovered. Like do you just find some sperg on a forum and hope they link their deviantart or YouTube channel? Or do you just stumble upon something they made/did?
They tend to concentrate in dead communities like Fark, SA, and slashdot. Particularly anything nerdy. A dying anime/furry forum is probably 100% lolcow. I think this phenomenon might have to do with them clinging to the few places they feel like they're important or maybe the autistic obsession with identity.
They also tend to have other lolcows for friends. If you look through akemi's friends list on facebook it's 100% lolcow any of them could easily have a large thread. All of eurasiantiger's friends are lolcows.
 

OneDaySon

kiwifarms.net
Fandom seeking. Tumblr known bad fandoms, or in fact not even bad fandoms just like cartoon and anime fandoms. But yeah don't force one out. Anything to do with shitty fandoms, you'll find one on. Deviantart, Tumblr, Forums is where they tend to congregate.
 

Pointless Pedant

Breaking the chains of gravity
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
The main cow I contributed to the site, Casey Hoerth, I originally found linked on a subreddit for mocking Nazi apologists.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ShitWehrab...y_nazi_apologist_yes_you_read_that_correctly/

His blog is now down since we doxed him. At the time, he was under the name "Len Gilbert", and wrote exceptional articles about fursuits in the Third Reich and his awful Nazi furry erotica.

I don't know how the OP of the Reddit thread found him, but he's provided plenty of entertainment since.

I think the best places to hunt for cows are fringe political groups like antifa and neo Nazis, and infamously autistic fandoms, especially furries. Where those cross over, there are cows galore to be found.
 
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