Doc's virtual reality porn review - Also tips

Doc Cassidy

Notorious Bum Driller
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Two Christmases ago I bought one of those Cardboard VR headsets for your phone at Walmart for seven bucks. I was excited to try it out but had shit to do so I set it aside and promptly forgot I'd even bought it until I found it buried in a box a few days ago. So I strapped that bitch on and entered the world of virtual reality.

The first thing I did was ride a cool roller coaster and it was fucking sweet, I could actually feel my stomach drop out during sharp declines, it was badass af. As soon as I finished I thought about what to do next and realized "holy shit, I could use this to watch porn!" A quick search on xhamster confirmed that I wasn't the first person to have this idea because the site even has a dedicated VR category.

I clicked the first video on the list which ended up being some little blonde thing that looked like she was thirteen years old with huge fake tits bolted onto her chest. The whole thing was really disorienting at first and I realized positioning is really important because you're seeing from his perspective. If he's sitting on a couch getting blown you need to be sitting in nearly the exact same position because your view moves with your head. If you're sitting while he's laying down it fucks your brain all up because nothing is where it's supposed to be. I also had to keep adjusting the eye lenses to stop everything from being fuzzy which was a pain in my ass.

Eventually I found the groove and it was pretty fucking amazing. I felt like I was actually looking at a real person even moreso than the roller coaster. I think the reason for that is because of the size. I never really thought about it but when you watch porn, or anything for that matter, everyone is really small because they're on a screen. With VR they're the size of actual people so you have to move your head around. If she's bouncing on your cock and you just look straight ahead you'll only see her tits and her stomach. You have to physically look up to see her face or down to see her vag, it's super immersive and I was blown (away).

What's not immersive is when the dude keeps moving all the fucking time. The VR tricks your brain into thinking you're actually there because you can't see anything except what's on the screen so when you're wearing a headset what you see on the headset becomes your only world. So when the faggot that's supposed to be you starts flailing his arms around like he's a retarded chimpanzee and your arms are still it confuses the hell out of you. The best video I saw actually had me as black guy. Although I did a doubletake the first time I looked down and saw my ripped black abs before long me and him were one in the same. The reason it worked so well is because instead of sitting there rigidly while waving his arms like he was doing the YMCA this dude was just reclining in a super comfortable position with his left arm on his leg and his right hand down his pants. This was great because I could do the exact same thing as him and we could be the same person with him acting as my VR avatar.

The only thing I didn't really like about that video was that it had a weird cuck vibe, the girl kept telling me how much better I was than her small dick husband which was kind of creepy. Maybe it's just me but if I'm fucking a girl the last thing I want her to do is talk about another dude the entire time. Also when we were fucking on the floor she kept saying shit like "I hope my husband doesn't catch us" which for some reason made anxious enough that I kept glancing over at the open bedroom door. I wish she would have closed it, that would have been nice. VR is fucking weird, man.

Actually, speaking of anxiety that's another problem. When you have a headset and headphones on you're dead to the outside world and have no idea what's going on around you. I kept taking the headset off because I was worried that my daughter had wandered into my room and was standing there watching me beat off which would have been super awkward. My advice is to only watch VR porn when you have the house to yourself with every door locked, bolted, and barricaded. You do not want someone to walk in while you're jacking it with a bizarre contraption strapped to your head and grunting "Yeah, take it bitch! You filthy fucking slut!" because you'll have no idea that they're even there and they'll even have enough time to record you on their phone and post it to Facebook so that when you're done your wall will be filled with hundreds of comments making fun of you. I'm just speculating of course, that isn't something I learned from personal experience or anything.

So anyway, virtual reality porn is awesome but it's also a huge pain in the ass so I'm not sure if it's worth it. I'll try it a few more times before I make up my mind.
 
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NOT Sword Fighter Super

"Cheerleeder" of Slapfights
True & Honest Fan
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I bought some kind of shitty plastic VR headset a few years ago that you just reminded me of.

I may have to give it a shot.
Thanks!
 
M

MG 620

Guest
kiwifarms.net
Maybe VR porn is the solution to the financhu crisis? It doesn't even have to be strictly porn, maybe a house tour or a ride to the mall. ?
 

Jeanne d'Arc

Running Up a Massive Tab
kiwifarms.net
I'd stay away from the cardboard/plastic VR headsets that require a phone if your phone is getting old. My phone's like 3-4 years old now and the battery would drop 60% after one go at VR video, be it porn or YouTube or whatever. It's decently demanding shit unless you're just watching 1080p split between two eyes or something.
 

Wendy Carter

When I am still, it is as lifeless as Abigail.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Now pick up basically any Illusion title and give us an opinion on anime tiddies you see in front of you.
 

Slappy McGherkin

Bartender? Make that a double.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I kept taking the headset off because I was worried that my daughter had wandered into my room and was standing there watching me beat off which would have been super awkward. My advice is to only watch VR porn when you have the house to yourself with every door locked, bolted, and barricaded. You do not want someone to walk in while you're jacking it with a bizarre contraption strapped to your head and grunting "Yeah, take it bitch! You filthy fucking slut!"

Every time you masturbate, all your dead relatives are watching.

But who in the fuck are they going to tell? :cunningpepe:
 

millais

The Yellow Rose of Victoria, Texas
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
My smartphone cannot even do the faux-VR. It has accelerometers in only two of the three axis needed for VR, so it cannot look from side to side laterally in the faux-VR. In flight sim terms, it's like no yaw, only pitch and roll.
 

Smaug's Smokey Hole

Sweeney did nothing wrong.
kiwifarms.net
Liked the premise, worried the finish would be weak, 4 out of 5, should have ended with shitting in your pants.

I don't know what's wrong but VR doesn't work for me. I'm absurdly afraid of heights, it's my biggest fear by far and starting to ragdoll a little bit when starring down a fifteen stories high spiral staircase is one of the unassailable core values of my being. So the first thing I did in VR was get into shit with high places, just to fuck around with and trigger my vertigo, for fun. I wanted to see how far I could push it and explore that fear, maybe get the ole' brain on the ropes to see what the response will be when the monkey part gets cornered.

Nothing. Even in Google Earth, going to cities I know very well, tall buildings I know very well, standing on the edge of buildings where looking over the side usually makes me melt into my shoes, no reaction, no response, not even a little bit of shit in my pants.

The VR itself is working, it just doesn't do anything for me.

VR porn was neat in that it was like a reverse daydream. You know how sometimes you're doing something and your mind starts to drift while the body keeps working, I was that drift. VR gives awesome spatial awareness and it's easy to notice things that would have gone unnoticed, so the drifting starts.
I have that flower pot, it's from IKEA, costs three bucks. They probably don't spend a lot of money on set design in porn... it's not a sound stage though, there are windows behind the camera and they probably don't gel the lights to get the color temperature of natural light right. Is the couch from IKEA as well? Looks like real leather. Lady, maybe don't crawl on a glass coffee table, especially a cheap one from IKEA - then I drifted out into the kitchen to make some tea and read the newspaper. The couple in the video seemed to be doing just fine without me, the depth perception and spatial awareness of VR made the people(well, woman) and room register as real so it felt like the small victory of shirking responsibility and sneaking out of work early.
Yeah, maybe I virtually cucked myself or something, that's my VR porn story/review.
 
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