Does America owe Florida Man an apology?

mindlessobserver

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Jul 18, 2017
For many years, egged on by the Media and blogs, we have sat back and laughed at America's seemingly most hapless super hero. Florida Man! Whether it's from him losing a fight with an Alligator while high on meth, or attempting to drive a bass boat while drunk on a county road, Florida Man was the butt of jokes the nation over.

Yet for some reason, now everyone who isn't a brainwashed bot is envious of Florida Man, who gets to live his life like normal. Were we wrong about Florida Man? Was his absolutely carefree attitude towards his own life and safety actually a superpower all along?
 

ColtWalker1847

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Dec 20, 2017
Florida Man is an honorific. Always was. To be a Florida Man is to be that special kind of retard that makes you jealous of their ambition while intimidated and frightened of their fate. They should have seen it coming but they could not. Because Florida is flat. And there are trees and gators and methamphetamines in their way and they cannot see past it unless you drive on that one really tall arch bridge they have down there.

That is the way of the Florida Man.
 

ArnoldPalmer

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Sep 6, 2017
Throughout my life I have been an occasional Florida Man. What you call wacky antics, they call fun. It's just that simple. It's made even simpler when you see Florida as America's Australia. The overbearing heat, humidity, and insects big enough to have their own health bars and charisma stats breed a chaotic form of entertainment only otherwise seen in the land Down Under.
 

albert the programmer

Programming and fixing up computers in 2022
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Jan 1, 2020
If Tom Brady loses out on another Super Bowl and decides to randomly retire, then expect people to blame Florida Man again.
 

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