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Does becoming victims empower us?

Discussion in 'Deep Thoughts' started by Zhoban, Nov 13, 2016.

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    1. This thread has made me realize that victimization is like morphine; those who need it can and should use it to heal and get off the wagon as soon as possible, so they may continue with the rest of their lives. The self-pitying piece of shit, however, will become addicted and not relent- they must always be the victim.

      PurpleDude is right about it being short-term.

      Just a little update: the little exceptional individual I used as an example in my OP quit its job at Fred Meyer last week, because "sexuwal hawassment" again. Some live by being conquering life, some live by making themselves victims on a weekly basis...
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      #21 Zhoban, Nov 17, 2016
      Last edited by a moderator: Dec 18, 2016
    2. Let her victimize her family so they will be empowered in turn.
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      Positron Lost wife. Total happiness in the World increased.
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    3. She has that covered.
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    4. Becoming a victim is psychologically attractive because

      1. it validates all of your problems

      One thing with your problems is if you're not a victim than complaining about them sounds like whining. Being a victim also makes people feel sorry for you and assume that your actions were justified.

      2. It gives you lots of attention

      You can see it with how a lot of victims get national attention

      3. People assume you're right even if you're not

      You can see it with how a lot of people just assume that a person is telling the truth and believe an official story behind something. Like when Ahmed Muhammad disassembled his alarm clock and reassembled it in a suitcase as a prank for attention. People immediately claimed that the school's response was Islamophobia and that the kid was a brilliant inventor. Despite the fact that his teacher immediately knew what he was doing, he had a history of pulling stupid pranks like that and his father immediately used it as publicity.
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      Watcher Cishet dudebro

    5. No, being a victim is not empowering. Anyone who believes that is basically saying that what is done to you matters more than what you do. That being reactive is better than being proactive. If you let another person's actions toward you define who you are, then you're truly wasting your life, and that person is still exerting power over you every day of the life you're wasting.
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      Broken Pussy

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    6. Agreed; feeling sorry for what life is doing to you, rather than fighting it, is a deep form of narcissism.
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    7. I wanted to touch base on this thread, this time from a personal perspective. Nearly three weeks ago, when I seemed to have the world as my oyster and everything secured, someone else's reckless actions prompted a "friend" to sabotage me and virtually destroy my entire life in a matter of minutes.

      It made enough of a crash that people have tried asking me about it, prodding me to see if I was responsible for the other person's error, etc. But, I've just sat on it and have not vented or anything. It hurts like crazy, but I feel like the best course is to overcome the obstacle that threatens my very livelihood and future now. I remembered this thread, as well as the examples given, and it has subconsciously kept me in check, so I haven't posted any whiny shit explaining the situation on Reddit, talked with friends about specifics or what-not, etc. I suppose my perspective is that pity will only weaken me and at this point, I have to just ride the storm with determination.

      I'd actually be interested to hear what others on Kiwifarms would have to share about terrible situations in which they had the choice of either receiving pity or fighting it out on their own.
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    8. I have no idea what any of that was trying to convey,its like you took out context to not give too much of yourself away which I do too but if your story is impossible to follow without it and you cant post the context ...

      Anyway I'm a stubborn s.o.b i once ruined my teachers marriage for calling me a bitch a the cost of two years of my life being in deep trouble.
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    9. I'm sorry you had to go through that.

      Situations like that are often make-or-break for people; they're ones that often leave a permanent scar on one's mental state even without realizing it, especially when the event in question is a friend turning on you. A lot of people don't know how to deal with a situation like that, and it's often the case that people fall into the trap of wallowing too long in self-pity. A little personal grief towards yourself might be healthy in the short term, but Social Media means too many people get into destroying themselves.

      The one good thing about terrible scenarios like this is that they're the moments when we can shine the hardest, and let our best aspects win the day. Some people face loss and they lament it, they grow bitter and resentful of those with more success. Others face that loss and learn to push themselves that much harder, and better themselves for it.

      Seems to this oldfag like you made that latter choice.
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      Jaimas Beansprouts For All
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    10. Being a victim lets you climb the rungs of that sweet, sweet hierarchy of privilege. Of course it's irresistible to those who lack the conviction to earn respect the hard way.

      Good thing those people exist in droves though. They're what brought the farms together.
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      Alec Benson Leary

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